OT-so depressed I don't want to plan

[la79al]

I have been a SAHM for just over a year now. I love being with my little girl. Right now though, unless I can figure out a way to make $800 a month, it looks like I am going to be returning to work in September. The thought of this depresses me so much that I don't even want to think about starting to plan our next Disney trip (DH is paying for it and all I see is 4 more months I could be staying home). I know it is time to start looking at different resorts and weighing going at different times so that we are ready to book in August, but I just can't bring myself to do any of it.

 

[tasha99]

Have you considered taking in a neighbor kid or two? Back when my kids were really little, that was how we could afford for me to stay home. Getting $800 would depend largely on your location though.

 

[cglaura]

Have you looked into everything you can budget wise?

Minimize cable and phone...decide what you absolutely need. For me, I went to basic cable and cut out long distance. This saved me $105/month.

Check with your electric company if they have anything. We have a time of use meter here. You pay less from 8pm to 8am, so I do any major things like wash/dry/dishwaser during this time. I also put a timer on my hot water heater, so it only heats during the times I know I will be using it. This saved $85/month.

Minimize eating out / take-out. Coupons/sales at grocery store. Clothing, try to shop end of season for next year...if they aren't really trendy things that will stay in style.

After all the budgeting, then maybe you can find something part time that you can do at home or take dd with you...babysitting, pet sitting, grocery shopping for homebound/elderly, virtual secretary or a part-time out of the house on the weekend?

Have you tried any sites like Sunshine Rewards or Cashduck? It won't help much as far as staying home, but could give you a little to put towards Disney. I've been concentrating all my rewards towards my next trip and so far have approx. $1200 (since last May). Sunshine Rewards has a great forum to help you get started.

I was a SAHM, I know the feeling of not wanting to leave.

 

[dannysmommyval]

I second the inhouse daycare idea. If you don't need benefits you can easily make $800 a month doing this. Just make sure you run it like a business and don't let people take advantage of you.
For example:
price per week is whether the child is there or not - this is important.
Hours should be 9 hours a day - with a definite pick up time - or longer if you agree - but it should be spelled out.
Consider costs (snacks, lunch etc)
Consider a back up if you are sick
Advise parents of holidays and/or dates that you are on vacation well in advance - no pay should be due I think.
Consider having siblings if schools are closed - that would generate extra revenue.
And lots of other things - you can do it! My mom did for years and it was quite lucrative - we were teenagers and she did her thing. I want to say that she had 3 - 4 children at a time and they were $100 a week. There is your subsititute earnings.

Just make sure your hubs is on board with it.

I am hoping this works out for you.

 

[stacy6552]

Call around to local child care centers. One baby could bring you $800 easily. And there are alot of parents who'd rather have a baby in home rather than in a center.

 

[okeydokey]

Could you skip the vacation this year and stay home for 4 more months instead. Sounds like you'd enjoy that more.

 

[lovebuzz]

How about waiting tables? I was a SAHM and I worked 2 nights a week Thursday and Friday nights and I made $200/wk doing this. It worked out perfectly because I would go to work when my DH came home and I liked being able to get out of the house for awhile.

 

[PatricenPete]

I agree with lovebuzz. I am a SAHM and I work 2 days a week. I am a part time manager at a little coffee shop and I make enough money to be able to stay home with my babies.

 

[crisi]

Maybe I'm reading too much into this, but the two things I'm basing this on "DH is paying for the trip" and your need to make some money, but don't need it now - its still months away. And in planning for a vacation, I'm assuming that you are financially responsible as a couple.

I think you and your husband may have different priorities - and since he makes the money, he decides how to spend it. It may be that he doesn't want to sacrifice cable TV and vacations so you can stay home with kids? If that is the issue, I think you need to talk it through because the issues will be deeper than just you getting a job. And solutions will breed resentment if you both don't understand what the other person is giving up in a compromise.

I do think some of the options here are good - waiting tables can be pretty lucrative in a few nights a week while letting you stay home during the day. Doing home daycare has allowed a lot of women to stay home with their kids - if you are cut out for doing daycare. Or it may be possible to cut the money out of your budget. Or combine budget cutting with a job since fewer dollars out mean fewer dollars need to come in.

 

[sk!mom]

I think that I remember a post of yours from a while back. If I remember correctly, it seems that you and your DH have seperate finances and seperate priorities. I base that on comments like, "he's paying for the trip." You've been given many ideas for jobs that would allow you to be at home as much as possible but it seems to me that you and your DH need to have some serious discussions.

I've worked and been a SAHM and me working is better for our family. If your DH wants you to work, I can understand that. Especially in this economy, many men are very stressed by carrying the entire financial burden. I can also inderstand not wanting to live on a bare bones budget.

Bottom-line, you need to figure this out with your DH.

 

[emh1129]

There have been lots of great suggestions here.
I hope you can find something that will enable you to stay home- I know how much it means to you and it's worth the sacrifice! Good luck!

 

[disneyagogo]

I think that I remember a post of yours from a while back. If I remember correctly, it seems that you and your DH have seperate finances and seperate priorities. I base that on comments like, "he's paying for the trip." You've been given many ideas for jobs that would allow you to be at home as much as possible but it seems to me that you and your DH need to have some serious discussions.

I've worked and been a SAHM and me working is better for our family. If your DH wants you to work, I can understand that. Especially in this economy, many men are very stressed by carrying the entire financial burden. I can also inderstand not wanting to live on a bare bones budget.

Bottom-line, you need to figure this out with your DH.

The OP rang bells for me as well. Your post is perfect and I just hope that OP will work with her DH to figure out their financial goals and needs.

Good luck!

disneyagogo

 

[Colleen27]

Have you tried brainstorming some work from home ideas that could make a little money? Home daycare, walking dogs, tutoring, crafting, freelancing at something you did before kids? It really is amazing how many things can be done to bring in extra income without being tied to full time employment. I know, because with a rather short attention span, I've done most of them! I've taught computer skills, written everything from sports coverage to junk mail as a freelancer, made custom Christmas cards, sold hand painted clothing, made candles and soaps, sold veggie seedlings, edited term papers for HS & college students, and babysat since becoming a SAHM. Sometimes I work with a particular goal in mind - I do a lot during the fall/winter craft show season to offset Christmas spending - but for the most part it is just hobby and I generally make $500-600 per month working pretty much when I feel like it.

 

[fussymonkey]

Whatever happens and whatever you decide, just know from a working mom, working is not the end of the world. Its really not that bad. I have an ideal situation- our kids daycare is in our office building, so we get to be there for sudden issues, to watch thier class preform little programs, to celebrate birthdays and give hugs after a scraped knee. In spite of how great it is, I would love to be home... but not at any cost. I have friends who have stayed home becuase they are convinced its sooooooo much better for the kids, but then they can't afford activites for the kids, vacations, date nights, etc. I don't love working, but I don't want to live hand-to-mouth either.

I don't think either working or staying home is right for every family, each family is different. There are pros and cons to each.

Just wanted to offer a word of encouragement, working offers some wonderful rewards. If you have to do it, just know it won't totally suck.

 

[nettii]

Im so sorry you are sadI hope you get some inspiration from one of us here on the Dis. I do several jobs that help out while my kids are at school One is a substitute noon aid at my DS school, I also do homestaging, virtual tours and photography for local real estate agencies. I also do party planning and holiday decorating. Not one of them is bringing in a ton of money but when you put them all together It sure helps pay the bills. Im always Abel to work around my sons schedules. Find some thing you love and go with it. If you love to scrap book try selling pre done pages on e-bay and host classes. Start up a cooking service for working moms where you prepare meals for them for the week. house cleaning, organizing what ever service someone might want. good luck I hope this helps!

 

[princessmom29]

I am with the PP who said working is not the end of the world. I went back to work when DD was 7 weeks old and neither of us suffered at all. It was an economic necessity and even if it wasn't i think it was something I woould have needed to do anyway. I worked in a lab for the first 3 years, and now I teach with summers off. I think we actually get more real quality time when I am working than when I am not because we appreciate the time we have more. When I am home with her all day every day we tend to take one another for granted more i think. We spend more time doing our own thing and less playing together, talking a walk, doing crafts ect.

 

[disney_family_1247]

I LOVE going to Disney World every year...but I would never trade it for more time at home with my children. I'm not sure what you mean about your husband "paying" for the trip; in our family the money is ours and not mine or his.

I think the suggestions from other posters about watching other kids in your home is a great one. You will have to work hard, but you can still be with your daughter.

When we were expecting our first baby, we didn't see any way for me to stop working. I earned as much as my husband, so we would be living on half of our usual income. To our shock and horror, I lost my job just before the baby was born. We thought it was the end of the world, but it turned out to be the best thing that could have happened to us. It forced us to cut back and realize that we could live on such a reduced salary. Over the years, dh has gotten raises, and we have had two more kids without ever going back to work.

Good luck.

 

[PaulaSue]

With my youngest in K this year I have been bored but also scared at the thought of going back to work. I have put in many applications but is is slow around here with many places closing. I have been trying to keep busy and learn some new skills to prepare but I'm in a new area so still learning my way around and finish all those house things.

I would love the extra money but with the girls sched and Dh crazy hours it is hard to figure out what is best for the family. I will not do childcare right now (I used to Nanny but I had a bad dealing with a crazy family) and school is not hiring. So no disney right now.

Just wanted to let you know you are not the only one....

 

[npmommie]

I think you got some fantastic suggestions from everyone.
How about a pt job opposite hubby's hours? evenings or weekends....... that is what we do.
I work per diem when hubby can be with the kids. so they get daddy alone time and it brings in some extra $$ for disney!
I think if you sit down and think about what you could do it will not seem so bad. Talk to hubby too.
btw, what type of work did you do in the past?

 

[djp0630]

I'm sorry to hear that you are so sad. I am a part-time working Mom and everytime I had to return to work after my maternity leave (6 months, each time), I was so depressed. But honestly, it isn't the end of the world. Have you thought about working part-time? I love it. I work 3 days/week, and it's the best of both worlds in my opinion. I get out, make some $, but still am home with the kids 2 extra days. Just another option to soften the blow! Good luck. Know that no matter what your daughter will love you and it will work out.