OT: Screaming!!

[jessp1021]

DD just turned 1 and she has picked up the habit of screaming all the time. She does it when she wants something, when I tell her no, when she stumbles, and just because. I am fairly sure she isn't sick bc she just had her check up last week and they said everything looked great! I just don't know how to help break the habit or what to do when she does it.. Any suggestions would be greatly appriciated..

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Don't stress. She'll outgrow it. We call that the little Teradactyl!

 

[Doc CW]

My baby sister does the screaming thing and I'm pretty sure if she will outgrow it if we ignore it when she is screaming just b/c she will outgrow it good luck

 

[EthansMom]

My DD4 has always been a screamer (literally came out of the womb screaming instead of crying like most babies... really she could be heard down the corridor). She had a few issues (cholic, terrible diaper rashes due to yeast infections and eczema, etc...) that only made her screaming worse... she learned that she got attention by screaming.

What I've done that seems to work... In the past year, as DD has gotten older, screaming, especially for minor things had gotten to be pretty bad. If DD was screaming for good cause (a big injury, etc..), then I would give her attention and encourage her to calm down. If DD was screaming for a minor reason (her brother took a toy, she wanted a tissue, etc..), then I'd tell her that she wasn't supposed to be screaming for no reason and would put her in her room until she was quieted down.

Now that DD is 4 she screams a lot less for minor reasons. But when she does, I tell her, "I can't understand you. You'll need to calm down and use your words to tell me what you want."

I think it's a little easier to reason with a child about this stuff when they're a little older. But even at 1 or 2, you can help yourself by not caving because of the screaming... if your DD screams for a toy or candy, tell her, "You aren't getting anything because you're screaming." Also, don't forget to give her positive reinforcement when she's behaving well... "You've been such a good girl today!"

If you give in too much to the tantrums, you'll only be setting yourself up for worse behavior later in life. Be firm but gentle and tell your DD when her behavior is inappropriate as well as reward good behavior.

Good Luck!

 

[momma2minnie]

my DD4 has been screeching lately also.
usually because her cousins took her toy or are running away from her (3's a crowd you know!)
I told her about the little girl that cried wolf the other day.
We'll see.....

 

[Microcell]

Enter the Behaviorist to save the day! Glad my degree is worth something!

As long as you are sure that she is not screaming because of true need, but rather as a way of trying to get your attention, you can do the following:

1) Do not pay attention to the behavior. Do pay attention to the child. Be sure she is okay at all times.

2) Anything resembling appropriate behavior, babbling, talking, grunting, take the very first opportunity to pay attention to those things.

3) Reinforce the good sounds! You probably do this already, but all the cute sounds get big smiles and hugs from you, and nothing happens when the bad ones come out.. she will learn!


Say you are sitting at the table and she wants what is on your plate, and if the first thing she does is scream, do not react to it at all. Keep your eye on her and she second she stops screaming then talk to her. Offer her something (usually you probably will know what they wanted to begin with).

Anytime you stop paying attention to something there is a phomenon that occurs, called an "Extinction Burst" where the unacceptable behavior will increase before it extinguishes, but keep listening, and grab on to the first acceptable sound or gesture she makes. Just do not react to the screaming. She is doing it to get attention and is doing the same thing I am saying to do with her, looking for any sign you hear her.

Good luck, and she will grow out of it.

 

[saratogadreamin09]

did you ever consider that she's teething

 

[disneybridetobe]

My DD (13mo) just started doing this too! It's like she's having mini-temper tantrums! Sometimes they're funny, and it's so hard to hold back a chuckle. Other times, I'm having that 'embarrassing mom moment'.

You're not alone!

But, I think we did get some good advice!

 

[DreadpiratK]

Our soon to be 4 year old has been doing this now for a while, and it's getting worse. She is #4, and none of the others did anything like it. We thought we were prepared for anything, but this makes me crazy. Either she's a lot harder to handle than the first 3, or I'm just getting too old for this.

Elie is a poster child for strong willed children though, and she wants what she wants and there's no dissuading her. The worst is that her 2 year old sister picks up on it and they both get going trying to out-scream each other when they are fighting over something. I swear my eyeballs are going to crack it's so high pitched and loud. We're doing all the things recommended here, but lately we've had to get more pro-active and punish her severely for shrieking. Time outs, loss of privileges, even the occasional light swat on the fanny. Most of all, NOT giving her what she wants when she screams, or even attention for it if we can help it. In public you pretty much have to make her stop or the crystal will start shattering, but in private we try and ignore it if we can. Sometimes it is funny because you can see her trying to ramp herself up to a good scream when she's not getting her way. My DW had to carry her out of church this morning when she started up- embarrassing.

I know she will out grow this eventually, but not soon enough for me!

If anyone else has a magic bullet for this I'd love to hear it.

 

[minkydog]

She's probably screaming because she has learned it will get attention. At her age most kids don't have a lot of words, so they use other means to get what they want--screaming, biting, tantrums. When she has more words she'll do better. In the meantime, try not to pay attention when you know its not a major thing. Just calmly tell her "you're okay." and walk away. You might just find that she will follow you around screaming, but if you remain consistent and don't give in(believe me, I know how annoying the screaming is--I have 3 kids) sooner or later she'll move on to another behavior. Hopefully, not any more annoying than the screaming

 

[DreadpiratK]

That's the thing, she did that when she was 1.5 to 2, and she went through a phase of screaming because she couldn't express herself any other way, we were pulling our hair out over it but then she outgrew it as she learned to talk. Now she's extremely verbal and expressed herself very well for a 4 year old (probably due to living in a house with 5 people who speak adult level English (parents and 3 older siblings 18, 16, 14) My poor sister in law was almost in tears because her son is so far behind Ellie verbally, but it's only because of the environment- he's a first child and spends most of his time with just his mother, who is by and large not talking in complete sentences to other adults most of the day..)

Wow, that was a major digression. Anyway, thinking about it now I think it has more to do with insecurity over our recent move, and just looking for more attention. Plus she just loves to get her older brother in trouble by screaming every time he looks at her. If we've learned anything from 5 kids, it's that each one is different, and they do grow out of it, whatever it is. Then you miss it as they get older.

 

[Poohbug]

It looks like I am in the minority here as it my 16 mo. DS who is the screamer. He has always been loud and is a little screecher. One culpit is his older brothers. He sees them running around and having loud fun and he wants to join in. He is teething so I try to make allowances there and use orajel and teething tablets when it's really bad. I think the biggest reason he screams now is because he is using it to communicate. I have been working with him to say words instead of screaming. Slow going but it is helping.
I think when your DD can start to express herself in a different way she will stop the screaming. in the meantime, really try to ingnore it and try not to get frustrated. Sometimes you need some scream free time-make sure you get it.

 

[moredisneyplease]

No flames here because this is just something i've HEARD...never done.

Fortunately my boys have never done the screaming thing but man have i heard it at the mall and the park!! YIKES!

Anyways, one mom once told me that she used to carry around a small bottle of hot sauce and toss a dash on her daughter's tongue mid scream. She said she only had to do it a handful of times but that she's been carrying it around for an extra week just as a threat.

I guess it worked for her!

 

[DreadpiratK]

Now that's an original idea! Of course, knowing my DD, she'd decide she LIKES the hot sauce, and scream just to get some! No kidding, that's what she's like. She loves hot wings too, the hotter the better.

It is creative ideas like that though that can really save a parents sanity and lead to mature well behaved kids. There are NO cookie cutter solutions that work for every kid. Even at my stage of life I'm still blown away by how different my kids are from each other, it's almost like you have to learn to parent all over again with each one.

 

[mamaLori05]

my ds is 11 months and has been doing that since he was 7 months. He is starting to get better though, not screaming as often. He does it as a means of communication. We have been ignoring his screems, and have been working with him on baby sign language. That seems to have helped. When he screams the first time we ignore him. Then the second time he screams we will ask him and sign "milk" or "more" or "all done". The three we are working on the most since he seems to scream the most while in his high chair. If he continues to scream we do the same thing. Usually by the second or third time he will stop and do the sign for what he wants. Then he gets what he wants (and has a big smile on his face....stinker!!).