OT: School Lunch Issue

[disney_fan_fam]

He's 11? I'd have it out with HIM personally....he deliberately did it, sneakily. He'd be in BIG trouble if it were my kid! And he's won since you're placing blame on the school....

 

[Rustysmom]

My DS is on the Autism spectrum, and in K and 1st grade, we sent payment in at the beginning of every month so he could eat a hot lunch. In 2nd grade, we wanted to try the GFCF diet, so of course he had to bring lunch from home.

At the beginning of the year, they send home a questionaire about school lunch and if you weren't interested, we were told to write "not interested" and send it back. Every kid got a lunch number though, no matter if they got hot lunch or not.

A few months later, I got a bill for $25. I had no idea what that was about, so I asked and was told that my DS was going up for lunch. It turns out that his best friend gets free hot lunch, so he was just following him even though we told him not to get in the lunch line and to eat his own lunch. I told them that since I wrote that we weren't interested in the hot lunch, that they shouldn't have allowed him to buy it and we weren't paying We never did have to pay for it.

Now he's back to eating hot lunch since the diet didn't work out, and we still have problems with the cafeteria from time to time. Last month I was p!ssed because they sent home a note saying I didn't pay for April, and the lunch lady told my DS that if he didn't bring in payment the next day, no more lunch, and this was even after I sent back a note saying yes, I did pay and the date I paid. It's all done in cash, so what proof did I have? My DH ended up calling the cafeteria and the head lady said that we were all paid up. They drive us nuts. LOL

 

[DisneyAprilFool]

Um, once again- I never said I wasn't mad at my son! Of course, I am! BUT this system is ripe for abuse- it's a silly system to allow a child to charge up $20 and THEN notify the parents???

Give me a break! Like I said before, most adults cannot handle the responsibility of 'charging' things- how can a KID?

Winnie- I'm sure every parent appreciates what you do. We've lived in this county the entire time our kids have been in school, but this is the first time we've ever dealt with this 'charging lunch' business. MY son is in 5th grade, about to enter middle school- so the other 4 years, the schools must not have offered it (He has forgotten his lunch before- and then he comes home and eats a good snack before dinner- such is life).

 

[Lunchlady]

I work in an elementary school cafeteria and yes every child has an account also.We DO NOT deny children food. It is the responsibilty of the parent to provide lunch money or fill out a free lunch form. We have about 92% free and reduced children. My manager sends home charge letters every Friday. Most people do pay but some will never. One child has been on reduced all year and has never paid one penny. 2.00 a week. Now he owes 60.00 plus. My daughter attends high school and they cannot charge anything. So some kids DO go hungry. Wouldn't you rather the cafeteria feed them and then you pay or your child sit and go hungry? The teachers have enough on them without worrying if YOU remembered to pack your child's lunch and call you if forgot. We don't let children charge snacks or ice cream and they can't buy them if they owe money.

 

[DisneyAprilFool]

MsLunchLady- (I quote) "The teachers have enough on them without worrying if YOU remembered to pack your child's lunch and call you if forgot."

My son HAS a lunch- IN HIS bag- so we aren't 'forgetting' to pack a lunch for him. He just conveniently has decided that whatever JUNK the cafeteria is serving (and here it is not extremely nutritious, by any means) is more appealing then whatever he has in his bag for the day.

In regard to 'what if he forgets his lunch?'. I remember being a child. I remember forgetting my lunch. I remember NOT getting to eat that meal, but you know- I learned a lesson from that as well. From then on out, I very RARELY forgot my lunch. It is not a crime for a child to miss a school lunch - sorry. Children will not starve if they forget their lunch once in a blue moon- and it actually might teach those very forgetful children a bit of responsibility.

HOWEVER, I understand that there are some kids that just don't get any lunches- from home or otherwise. That would, indeed, be sad and a problem.

It is NOT THE SITUATION with my son, who decided to take advantage of a system that was simply ripe to be taken advantage of. I will be talking to the school about this issue, simply because they are responsible to ensure parents are aware of this policy of theirs. You8 can, btw, call in to the school and shut off the charging ability completely- which we have done, but it's the end of the year anyways.

 

[olbear]

Aprilfool,

Thank you for your encouragement. I do love what I do, and I love the kids.
I am sorry for what you've been through. Sadly, no matter how hard you try to make a system work efficiently for everyone, there is always a possibility of a wrinkle. Sorry for yours. Hopefully it will all be worked out for next school year.

During my internship, I worked in a couple of high schools. It was in these schools that they did not allow students or teachers to charge at all. I think there feeling was, that they were old enough to not have to have parents keep up with their accounts. They hope of course that their child/student will have enough where withall to ask parents for lunch/account money. As far as teachers go, well, that to me is self explanatory. At the school I'm managing they do allow teachers to charge. This is something I hope to change for next school year. I feel they have no need to charge. They are adults after all. Need I say more?

Oh as for the student that owed $20! WOW! Does that school not have a limit on account balances? Most if not all of our schools do. When that limit is reached a phone call is usually made. This is not fortunately a regular occurance. As I said, our school limit is $7.50.

 

[ilovejack02]

sorry wrong post

 

[Lunchlady]

We do not let teachers charge either. Do you really want to know how many times a teacher has said they forgot their money? Well where do you think you were going? I want to say you came to the cafeteria-what do you think we have in here???? Food for purchase! The are not setting the best example for the kids by doing this. I know which teachers will say this day after day. And I can tell you which ones are just cheap. Can't stand to spend any money but want to eat. A full adult meal with tea is 2.25. Entree 2 vegs and a fruit. I wonder what they do when they go out.

 

[DawnM]

Weird. I was always embarrassed if I forgot money (usually DH had taken money out of my wallet and forgotten to tell me OR I forgot he did it and was caught off-guard), but I always borrowed the money from a fellow teacher friend and paid them back very promptly. I don't even know if they LET us charge food there, I never tried!

But I would agree with you that it is not right to let little ones go hungry or without food.

Dawn

We do not let teachers charge either. Do you really want to know how many times a teacher has said they forgot their money? Well where do you think you were going? I want to say you came to the cafeteria-what do you think we have in here???? Food for purchase! The are not setting the best example for the kids by doing this. I know which teachers will say this day after day. And I can tell you which ones are just cheap. Can't stand to spend any money but want to eat. A full adult meal with tea is 2.25. Entree 2 vegs and a fruit. I wonder what they do when they go out.

 

[Liltx]

Are you sure it's the first notice or is it the first one he's given you? I agree that $20 is too much if it is the first note.
My just turned 4yo choose to buy lunch one day when she knew she had a lunchbox. She got to eat her lunch (had an ice pack) for dinner while we ate pizza. Put an end to that real fast. She knew better.
I teach at the school and they let teacher's charge as well as students. Sometimes you just forget how much is in the account and your purse is all the way at the other end of the building locked in your closet. That cuts a lot of time into your 30 minute (really 20 by the time you drop off kiddos and then come back to pick them up) lunch.
I do not agree that any child should go hungry as a lesson.

Monica

 

[MSSANDRA]

I know a lot of parents that kids have done just what your DS did. Mistake made...Lesson learned. Upon seeing that he was in 5th grade rather than middle I do question if perhaps his teacher should have at least questioned why he had a packed lunch and was buying it. My Best freind's son did exactly what your DS did and after about a week, the teacher asked his mom about it.

In our school district ALL children have an account and a #. In k-8 the cildren can charge up to three lunches but NO extras. After 3 charges the child gets a veggie plate. No child is ever denied a meal that he request but after a certain # of unpaid lunches the school can contact DSS to determine if assistance is needed. Extras, or even charges can be blocked on the account.

I would make the lunch purchase rules crystal clear to DS, pay the $ and move on. Block the charges if you think it might be an issue at another time and you are not worried about him ever forgetting his lunch and not being able to purchase lunch at school.

Good kids make bad judgement calls, don't be too rough on him!

 

[DisneyAprilFool]

Oh, darlin- if this was his only bad judgement call this year- I'd be thrilled! We won't even go there though! LOL!

Since the end of school is practically upon us, I'll be calling the middle school to find out their policy and putting a complete block on any charges. I still don't think a child will starve from 8 AM until 3 PM if they forget their lunch- he can eat at home as soon as he gets here if he's forgotten his lunch. That's not making a child 'GO WITHOUT' either- that's making a child responsible for his actions. I'm sure, once or twice of doing this, he'll make sure his lunch is in his bag

 

[Georgia]

I'm sorry to say this but your anger is mis placed. The person you should be angry with is your son not the school. I see nothing wrong with allowing children to charge a meal, how are they to know if the child really forgot their lunch or just doesn't want to eat what they have. I as a parent would MUCH rather have them allow all kids to charge if they ask than to have a child who forgot their lunch have to go hungry. It is not their job to parent.

Agree with pp...too many parents are asking the schools to take esponsibility for managing their children, then crying foul when the school system makes rules that seem stupid. Can you imagine if someone at the school (more than likely the teacher) had to track which kids bought lunch and which didn't, then call parents if they charge.

This policy is probably in place, as pp said, for students who forgot their lunch or for students that forgot their money or even when a student's parent runs short on money.

Ultimately, your stepson probably knew your standards and, like most kids, thought he could scam the system. Kids rarely think things through.

 

[Whosemom]

My boy is in K. Our school has milk for 50c and bottled water for $1. I give him 50c because I want him to have milk. I went in as a volunteer to help with lunch, and the lunch lady says, "You know your son's charges are up to $2.00, dn't you?" The stinker decided he'd rather have the water. For the next week, he got water - from the fountain.

If my kids forgot their lunches a second time in a year, they'd wait til 3:00. We're not talking deprivation here, just a couple hours wait. It is a simple lesson and it is NOT cruel. Natural consequences are the best teachers.

 

[DisneyAprilFool]

Thanks, Whosemom- I was beginning to wonder if I was the only one who thought kids should learn from their actions- forget your lunch, wait to eat until you get home. Doesn't seem cruel to me, but I guess others think otherwise!

 

[dfarner]

My boy is in K. Our school has milk for 50c and bottled water for $1. I give him 50c because I want him to have milk. I went in as a volunteer to help with lunch, and the lunch lady says, "You know your son's charges are up to $2.00, dn't you?" The stinker decided he'd rather have the water. For the next week, he got water - from the fountain.

If my kids forgot their lunches a second time in a year, they'd wait til 3:00. We're not talking deprivation here, just a couple hours wait. It is a simple lesson and it is NOT cruel. Natural consequences are the best teachers.

Give me a break-your son is 5 or 6 at the most and he bought (gasp) water? I'd be glad that he LIKES water.

To the OP, my question is-where was your son putting the food that you packed him? If he was bringing it home, you should have been on top of it. If he was throwing or giving the food away then I would guess that he indeed has gotten other notices (as another person had mentioned) and just either chose not to or (gasp again) forgot to give them to you.

The system is in place to protect the kids, not to nickel and dime the parents. Many children don't eat unless they are at school, so the hours of 8-3 may be the only chance for that child to eat that day. Just pay the 20 bucks and make sure he doesn't do it next year.

 

[DisneyAprilFool]

Well, (Gasp, as you like to do)- he wasn't bringing the lunch home. As for other notices- he received one notice. ONE. I talked to the cafeteria today.

As far as paying the bill, I have every RIGHT to be upset about a system that they never NOTIFIED us about and it seems like most people agree. You shouldn't have a charging system for CHILDREN in place if it is not in the student handbook or in the papers sent home (gasp again!).

 

[WildGrits]

However, at this school, if you charge once, you get the hot meal. If you charge again without paying the previous charge, you get either a peanut butter sandwhich or cheese, milk and fruit. That's it. They won't "let the kid go hungry" but who wants a cheese sandwhich?

My mom's a teacher, which has saved Jordyn when she forgets to tell my mom her balance. They have student numbers that the kids start memorizing in kindergarten, it also tracks what food is sold through the cafeteria.

Our school did the same thing. You would never go hungry but you will get sick of cheese sandwiches.

They also started memorizing their number her too. It was also their library card number. so they learned it very quick.

 

[Skatermom23]

I talked to the cafeteria today.

So what is the official policy? At what point (dollar amount) do they contact the parents. Is this policy in the student handbook? I see no problem with kids being able to charge a certain amount. If it was me I wouldn't be contacting the school but dealing with my child and making sure he understood what he was doing. Believe me, you will have bigger battles to deal with in school in coming years than to get upset over a $20 lunch issue!

 

[powellrj]

our school has a charge policy that lets you charge up to 2 days and then you go on peanut butter sandwiches and milk. They send a note home with the child after the first day of the charge, but I am not sure if or when they contact the parents. We don't have a computer system, its all done on a pencil/paper type system so kids don't have accounts.

I am not sure the school would let him go without lunch. I am sure there is some sort of legal issue with it. I'm not sure, but they seem to have laws about everything, so I am going to assume this would be a law too.

If I were in your situation, I would pay the money. leave the school out of it, BUT, your DS would be paying me back the $20 in free labor around the house. I think $5.00 an hour to pull weeds in the yard would get your point across.