OT: School Lunch Issue

[grlpwrd]

Let me explain a few things...

Oh, I AM upset at my 11 year old. He knew better then to charge lunches when he had lunch in his bag. Don't even think he's not one of the people I'm irritated with!

HOWEVER, without notifying parents- how do they know kids can charge meals when we didn't even set up any sort of account for the child to charge on? Shouldn't that be a part of the welcome package to the school?

Also, he charged up about $20 in meals! We aren't talking about ONE lunch. We are talking about a repeat offender here- why doesn't the school notify the parents after ONE meal or TWO meals?

I, too, see this as a parenting issue rather than a blame-the-school issue.

Well, (Gasp, as you like to do)- he wasn't bringing the lunch home. As for other notices- he received one notice. ONE. I talked to the cafeteria today.

As far as paying the bill, I have every RIGHT to be upset about a system that they never NOTIFIED us about and it seems like most people agree. You shouldn't have a charging system for CHILDREN in place if it is not in the student handbook or in the papers sent home (gasp again!).

The system of charging lunches was not meant to be a perpetual charging situation and clearly your stepson is abusing the system. Even without an official policy, he must be held accountable for his actions, don't you think?

 

[xoprincessmomxo]

\

If I were in your situation, I would pay the money. leave the school out of it, BUT, your DS would be paying me back the $20 in free labor around the house. I think $5.00 an hour to pull weeds in the yard would get your point across.

Ooohhh, I like that idea! Much better than letting him go hungry for a few days. From 8-3 (and breakfast around here is usually more around 6:30 so add an hour or so) is 7 hours of no food! That is not healthy for any child, even one that needs to "learn a lesson". And that's just it, you send your child to school to "learn". And learning on an empty, hungry stomach just doesn't work.....We all know that the brain needs fuel to operate properly.

Pay it up. Turn off the charge policy if you want. But don't get the school involved. Yes, maybe $20 is an outrageous amount....but now that you have the charge privilege off, it won't be an issue for you.

 

[Whosemom]

Give me a break-your son is 5 or 6 at the most and he bought (gasp) water? I'd be glad that he LIKES water.

Every family is different, dfarner. In OUR family we have a pretty well established rule that even a 6 year old understands that if we are in a place where there are water fountains and the water isn't yucky, we do NOT buy water. And, probably different than some of your more perfect parenting outcomes, it is a struggle to get the dairy servings in with this kid. So a milk where milk is the "only" option is part of my school year nutrition plan. Although I'm sure, since he's only 6, I should let him fulfill those requirements with ice cream. He's too little to understand. poor fella.

My kids are very responsible, and I am extrordinarily proud of them. I do think some of that comes from experiencing the consequences. One day without lunch is not going to ruin the entire educational experience.

 

[Ellester]

Wow! This thread has sure gotten feisty! DisneyAprilFool - just wanted to say I totally agree with you. You are not letting your DSS off the hook, but I agree that the school was over the bounds by letting him charge so much without letting you know of the policy. It sounds like you read everything from the school and nothing mentioned the ability to charge lunches. It reminds me of when my dd was in kindergarten and she brought home a note that her prepaid account was overdrawn by a few dollars. All she was supposed to by was milk at lunch and there was plenty in the account for that, so I was perplexed. Well, it turned out she was going in and buying breakfast because she wanted to be with a friend who bought breakfast. She had already eaten a full breakfast at home and when I asked her what she was buying she told me "toast, but it's always burnt, so I don't eat it"! I was a tad frustrated with her, but she was only 5 I just asked her not to buy breakfast without asking me first and that pretty much took care of it. I do like the idea of "working off" the bill. I fine my dd9 for not clearing her plate from the table ($.50 a pop) and it has been pretty darned effective!

 

[dfarner]

Ooohhh, I like that idea! Much better than letting him go hungry for a few days. From 8-3 (and breakfast around here is usually more around 6:30 so add an hour or so) is 7 hours of no food! That is not healthy for any child, even one that needs to "learn a lesson". And that's just it, you send your child to school to "learn". And learning on an empty, hungry stomach just doesn't work.....We all know that the brain needs fuel to operate properly.

QUOTE]

ITA! And isn't it the parent's responsibility to get their children out the door prepared for the day? That includes lunch. At least in elementary school. They are kids-they forget.

 

[DisneyAprilFool]

Like I said- the kid is already in trouble. He was already out pulling weeds last night- doesn't take a brainiac to realize he needs to repay the bill.

HOWEVER, the school is not off the hook- what about the parents who can't afford these 'sudden' bills? What then? Oh, right- the school can do whatever they want because they are the SCHOOL.

No- they need to notify the parents of the kids attending this school that 'This is our policy- these are your options'. PARTICULARLY when it comes to financial issues.

As far as 'As a parent, it's your job...'- hmmm, I could think of some pretty words to say, but I bet as a parent- you have FAILED AT providing lunch for your kids at one point or another, Dfarner. Oopsie, aren't so perfect, are you? However, once again, we aren't discussing an elementary kid forgetting his lunch- we are discussing a kid ditching his lunch to take advantage of a system that's simply too easy to take advantage of.

Whosemom- I cannot believe you'd cause such a fuss over water Just kidding. Isn't it nice that there are PERFECT parents on this site? I mean- where the heck did they come from because I've never met any IRL?

 

[mytwotinks]

Agree with pp...too many parents are asking the schools to take esponsibility for managing their children, then crying foul when the school system makes rules that seem stupid. Can you imagine if someone at the school (more than likely the teacher) had to track which kids bought lunch and which didn't, then call parents if they charge.

This policy is probably in place, as pp said, for students who forgot their lunch or for students that forgot their money or even when a student's parent runs short on money.

Ultimately, your stepson probably knew your standards and, like most kids, thought he could scam the system. Kids rarely think things through.

Exactly! It always amazes me when parents expect the school to pay attention to every tiny detail of each and every student. When would they have time to teach our kids?????

As parents, it is our responsibility to know the school policies. The school has to let kids charge. The lunch line needs to move quickly to get all of the kids fed. I know at my dd's school you can tell them what the "rules" are for what your child is allowed to eat. I have no idea how the cafeteria workers remember each individual rule when 600 kids are going through the line in just a couple of hours?????

The fact is that lots of kids (or their parents) forget their lunch money and the only alternative to allowing charging is allowing kids to go hungry. Would that be better?

 

[DisneyAprilFool]

Oh, and I totally like how people who post pick parts of posts, but completely ignore the rest... Like the fact that my son IS in trouble and I have to keep repeating that over and over.

 

[DisneyAprilFool]

Here, let me put this in black and white...


IS IT THE SCHOOL'S RESPONSIBILITY TO NOTIFY THE PARENTS WHEN THE SCHOOL YEAR BEGINS (OR WHEN THE CHILD BEGINS IN THE SCHOOL) EITHER THROUGH THE STUDENT HANDBOOK OR THROUGH PAMPHLETS ABOUT AN AUTOMATIC CHARGING SYSTEM FOR SCHOOL LUNCHES?

THAT is the question. Answer the question instead of dancing around it.

 

[mytwotinks]

Oh, and I totally like how people who post pick parts of posts, but completely ignore the rest... Like the fact that my son IS in trouble and I have to keep repeating that over and over.

It doesn't look to me like anyone is questioning whether or not you son is in trouble. I don't think that you have made it clear though, what exactly the school did wrong. You could have know the policy if it was something that you feel strongly about. I am sure that the school would have answered any questions you had.

You asked if people thought it was o.k. for the school to let your son charge lunches. I think you just aren't liking some of the answers.

 

[DisneyAprilFool]

NO.

I asked if it was okay for a school to have a charging system without making the PARENTS AWARE that it was in place. Now, I didn't go into the details- like it wasn't in the student handbook (I looked this morning) and it wasn't in the handouts they passed out at the beginning of the year.

SO without NOTIFYING the parents about this charge system and that the ONLY way to OPT OUT is to call and OPT OUT- it automatically sets it up for kids to charge until a bill is sent home. (The cafeteria lady said they tend to send a note around $15.00).

It makes NO SENSE to me.

FIRST- Parents should be notified about this system when they enroll their kids in the school and there should be a blurb about it in the parent handbook.

SECOND- Parents should opt IN to the charging system, not automatically be enrolled into it.

 

[DisneyAprilFool]

And what does this mean, "You could have know the policy if it was something that you feel strongly about."

Does it mean, I should have KNOWN the policy ahead of time? Like I said- read the posts! It is not in print in ANY MATERIAL that has been sent home with my kids. It wasn't until we received a BILL from the cafeteria that we found out that they had a charging system.

How are you supposed to KNOW about a policy if there is nothing sent home in print and you've never heard of elementary kids charging meals?

 

[momtoBrandon&Jacob]

Okay, here is the issue...

The elementary school, without notifying the parents of the children in the school, allows children to charge their lunches up to a certain point in the cafeteria and then suddenly sends notices home stating, "So and So owes this much money."

Now, when I called to discuss the fact that my stepson brings his lunch to school and therefore shouldn't be charging meals (what he did was decide that the pizza or whatever junk looked better then his lunch so he'd just go charge a meal)- I'm told that the parents have to tell the school the kids are not allowed to charge.

NOW- the school does not NOTIFY the parents of this fact until the kid starts charging up meals. Doesn't this seem backwards to ANYONE?

Shouldn't it be that a child cannot charge a meal WITHOUT their parents' permission versus the other way around? It is such an easy system for kids to take advantage of it- I mean, come on- when I was a kid, I'd have preferred to have french fries and a hamburger to whatever my Mom packed! But the school didn't allow US to just 'charge' the meal!

I'm really irritated about this.

I did not read all the responses, but I agree with you about being pissed. It's one thing when they're in college and are old enough to understand about "charging", but not when they're in 5th grade.

 

[dbmarie]

This happens in all grades. My daughter gained alot of weight her first year of kindergartion due to the extra's the school allowed her to add. I had to actually get a note from our doctor stating she was only allowed to buy the lunch without snacks to stop this. I tried going to meetings to only allow healthy snacks and I was shot down I tried to make a list of things she would be allowed to buy and that was ignored. I completely agree with you schools need to set limits for children.

 

[Hannathy]

I don't know but to me it is common knowledge that if a kid forgets his lunch and the school gives him one they expect to get paid. Was this way 40 years ago when I was in Elementary school and is that way today. The problem still lies in that your son was lying to you, not the schools fault. Their only fault is not sending a note quicker, ours sends it after a few.

I don't want kids going hungry, period.Isn't that why we have to foot the bill for all the free lunches and breakfasts in this country because they can't learn if hungry? And what if it truly was the parents fault the kid didn't have a lunch, should they suffer for something not their fault?

IMO Instead of wasting your energy being mad at the school and all the folks on here that don't agree with you, I'd use it to figure out why your son finds it necessary to be so sneaky in dealing with you and doesn't communicate with you especially at such a young age, what won't he tell you at 16.

 

[DisneyAprilFool]

Let's see, the DoD schools I went to in Germany did not foot free lunches when I was there. Shame on them! And shame on me for going to a DoD school in Germany! If I forgot my lunch, I ate lunch when I got home from school. I was a straight A student, so I guess it never affected my grades.

I'm not even getting into my son's issues here. He's a kid. Kids sometimes lie- and anyone who says their kid never lies or never omits to inform their parent of something- well, they're lying

 

[dodukes]

I have been reding along and Im shocked that no one sees a problem with the school not saying anything about charging earlier in the year. I undesrstand if a kid forgets his lunch and youll owe them money but to me $20 is a ridicualous amount to owe and not have been told. And yes I think its an issue to take up with the school because not all parents can afford any little bill that pops up.

 

[KirstenB]

OP, I feel for you. At dd's school you can prepay for their lunches. However, IF they forget their lunch, and need to buy a lunch, they get a PBJ or cheese sandwich, side dish and milk. That's it. That day a note goes home stating that your child had to buy lunch with no $$ in the acct. You owe the school $$. Our school doesn't want to be in the "collections" business. With some parents, I can see them having a tough time getting the $ back.

I think it helps to make the lunch relatively boring. Enough for sustenance, but they're not getting the entree that everyone who paid for their lunch is. Our school is also not very big, about 300 kids in K-5, which helps.

 

[DisneyAprilFool]

Yeah, a lot of people have told me that's what their schools do- cheese sandwiches and like a piece of fruit- that makes a lot more sense to me. The kids here can get pizza, Lunchables, etc, in the food line for 'hot lunch' (I don't know how Lunchables are considered hot?).

 

[Whosemom]

dodukes, you nailed it. That is really all OP was saying. And I agree, I want to be notified as soon as my kid STARTS charging things. There is no way the lunch ladies can keep up with who is allowed to have what food. But I see no reason someone can't hit the computer with a form-letter email at the end of the day. There can't be that many charging.