OT: Private Schools...Yes or No...Help!!!

[shelly3girls]

The only thing I oppose in this thread is the thought that a child is a guinea pig in a social experiment in a public school. Some public schools simply are not good for various reasons and would not be a good match for your family. I taught in a very impoverished area in a public school and gave my heart and soul to it. There were no "experiments" going on.

I agree with this statement. I guess this may go on in some schools but I don't think you can clasify this as a public school fault. It can and does happen in both public and private. We operate very much with the attitude of use what is proven.

 

[blessedby3]

Ive actually done all 3 things. Homeschooled my oldest DD until 4th grade then put her in private Christian school. (I couldnt get everything done with a preschooler and infant too). Oldest stayed in private until 8th because that is all it went up to. Transferred to public high school after that. I was a basketcase, but all went well and she is a great honor student. Middle child (DS) started in the same private Christian school at Kindergarten as well as youngest DD (when her time came). They are now 6th and 2nd and while we LOVE our small Christian school, our finances are making it to where we need to transfer them to public in the fall. (4th baby on the way and oldest is one year away from college). Of everything we have done I definately prefer the private school. My son only has 12 kids in his class and my daughter has 17. Great individual attention and I feel like I have so much more contact with the teachers there than at my oldest DD's public school. As Christians I also love that they are getting a Bible based education and take time each day for a Bible Class. I will definately miss not having the younger 2 in that school next fall.

 

[DisneyMommyMichelle]

Both of our kids (and one on the way) will be going to private school. It is something we began saving for before we even had children. It was a decision we made together as a couple and cannot wait!! (our oldest is only 2!! but it add$ up)

 

[J&Bsmom]

Everybody has made some great points on this thread! I would also like to add that one of the reasons we are choosing private school is religion. We are sending our girls to Catholic schools so that they will have continuous religious education in addition to what we do at home. If you are Catholic, you go through a process of sacraments which can be completed with the school class this way (i.e., First Communion, Reconciliation, Confirmation). Otherwise, you would need to coordinate getting to CCD class on nights and/or weekends or wait until they are old enough to go through RCIA.

Just my two cents....but try not to stress about it all too much. I think as parents we will fret over any decision we make as soon as something goes "wrong" (and it WILL), but we will never know whether the other road would have been better. Just know that you are a good parent, and you are going to make the right decision for YOUR child and family.

 

[TAEMom]

I will add that I think (in my very limited experience) that an advanced private school is most important for the average student. Below average students need the services of public school. Above average students will often thrive no matter where they are and often public schools offer more variety and resources for these top students.

 

[FinallyBoughtDVC]

The only thing I oppose in this thread is the thought that a child is a guinea pig in a social experiment in a public school. Some public schools simply are not good for various reasons and would not be a good match for your family. I taught in a very impoverished area in a public school and gave my heart and soul to it. There were no "experiments" going on.

That's not what I meant. I was saying that I'm an advocate of public schools - they're what made our country what it is today. That being said, I wouldn't subject my child to a public school simply because I believe in the system - I would do what was best individually for my child. Perhaps "guinea pig" wasn't the appropriate term -

The best example I can think of was when Jimmy Carter sent his daughter Amy to public school to prove he supports public schools. I thought it was a dumb move then (when I was a child) and and I think that now, as a parent. Just because I believe public schools should be supported, it doesn't mean I'd risk my child's education by sending them to one just to prove a point.

I hope that explains what I meant a bit more thoroughly.

 

[Camping Griswalds]

I have two boys in private school. Oldest in 8th grade, youngest in 4th. Every year is a struggle. I could be a stay at home mom, if not for private school. Anyway we tried to put youngest in public school, a blue ribbon school at that, and were not pleased. He was not given the same attention, the classes were bigger, and he did not thrive. We had him repeat kindergarten in private, and he thrived. It just re-inforced our hard work and sacrifices to have our children in private school. Our daughter will attend in a couple of years and we will have a kindergartener, and 8th grader and a senior. It will be worth it. Every year we have a discussion about whether we can afford it or not, if it's the right thing etc. I NEVER once have questioned the years or sacrifices we have made in any past year. If tomorrow it all changes, and they can only complete the grades they are in, and have to go to public school, I know, without a doubt that they had the absolute best I can provide them.


I agree that you should find a school that fits you. Personally I have lots of friends that go on and on about our public schools, and I know that they are not giving a fair comparrison, because they have not sent their children to any other type of school. I feel at least I know for a fact.

Another thing for you to consider, our private school gives first admissions to siblings and alummni. The spots go very quickly. If your child does not get into Kindergarten or pre-k, they will only get into our school if someone leaves. This holds true through 8th grade. In high school the classes are bigger (limited to 60 per graduating class, only 15 per academic class) so it is not full. We graduate about 45 kids a year. Lower school has two classes of 18, middle school limits to 40.

Sports and social activities get important the older they get. Make sue to look at the entire school atmosphere.

I also agree with a previous poster, the extremely gifted excell lots of places, the less gifted (slower or learning disabled) get more attention in public schools, due to various programs. It's the average kids that thrive the most with the individual attention of private schools. Well that s my opinion anyway.

By the way, no one else in our families has ever been to private school, or sends their children to private school.

 

[Aristomommy]

In my area, the public school is excellent and DD goes there. She used to go to a private school in our old home town and we really enjoyed the experience. Class size was smaller, much more small group instruction and more options such as French class and early computers. What I don't miss about the private school is the constant fundraising or obligation to shell out money for every little thing asked. I also find the student population to lack in diversity (race, income level etc.) and I want to expose DD to different people on a regular basis. I do miss the small town feel of the school.

If your town has excellent public schools, then I wouldn't worry about it too much. Tour some of the private schools and see what the difference really is. If you find one that would suit your child better than public, then go with that. It really isn't a huge deal to switch schools later on if his/her needs change. HTH

 

[silmarg]

I pay a small fortune in property taxes (over 10k... for an 1800 sq ft house). So I wouldnt dream of private school.

But the public schools here are really really excellent.

 

[Aristomommy]

I will add that I think (in my very limited experience) that an advanced private school is most important for the average student. Below average students need the services of public school. Above average students will often thrive no matter where they are and often public schools offer more variety and resources for these top students. I am sure this varies in other areas but in the areas I am familiar with the very bright students who succeed basically have their choice of colleges. If my child turns out average I will want her in an advanced school with all of the "notoriety" so that she will have a better chance at getting into the better colleges.

This could be true in your area, but certainly not the parts of the country I have lived in and the many teachers I know across the country. Unfortunately the school systems around here are very much concerned about raising their test scores and the above average students are often not served. Students needing additional help in math and reading get it at public schools and average students are fine wherever they go. Sure, if an average student goes to a private school with a good name, it may help to get a University's attention. But SATs will ultimately speak of their level no matter which school they come from.

I find that parents of academically gifted students as well as those requiring extra services need to advocate for their children. Special needs are often not recognized unless the parent works together with the school. Most curriculum is designed around the average learner and hopefully teachers have ways to customize to the others not fitting this criteria. Anyway, I'm done ranting

 

[Whosemom]

Hi, we choose to send our kids to a private school. When our oldest was going into K, our public school district was really struggling with state testing standards. They were on the verge of some pretty severe consequences. My daughter was, at 4, reading the newspaper (granted, she didn't know what most of it meant, but she could read it like she did). I knew, as a prior public school teacher, that the administrative push in that school was going to be to get the borderline failing kids over the hump and there wouldn't be much time or extra resources left to worry about my kid. Passing everything, very quiet, not making a fuss...doomed. (a LOUD smart kid gets recognised and served, just to preserve the peace. )

Now, that school has improved greatly, but we're staying put. Our area, about 30 miles from the state capital, is growing by leaps and bounds. There are currently three 200+ home reasonably priced housing developments going in (this is a rural area). This area is really bad at passing school funding increases. The schools have gone to "pay to play" for all extra curriculars. gifted programs are being cut (which I don't get - aren't they IEP students?) Music, home ec and shop are all on the chopping block. You know the class sizes must be huge. If the schools were growing to keep pace with the population, it might be a consideration, but not now.

Actually, to be fair, we love our school and feel the kids get real benefit from the religious nature of the establishment. So we wouldn't really move regardless. But even if religion were not a factor, the above mentioned problems would keep us staying put.

But this stuff is circumstance specific. You really do need to research your schools (of course, I know you are. I like to get general ideas here as well).

I would second a PP opinion of uniforms. They are the greatest. But in our area, several public schools hve gone that route. Anyway, not a deal-maker.

 

[lookingforward]

Great responses! I have sent my children (three, ages 16, 14, 8) to all three types of school (except home school), public, private and parochial. We started our son in private school in Memphis, it was a small Lutheran school that we LOVED. Transfered to NC and enrolled him in public school and it was horrible, the teacher was "suspended" his classroom was split with two others, etc. Enrolled him in 2nd grade at a small Catholic school and it was much, much better. It was a small military town but the parents were involved and for the most part it was a good choice.

Moved to CT and enrolled my older two in a small Catholic school that had strong teachers and some real stinkers (Having been a grade school guidance counselor I kind of know what to look for). Supplemented my younger son's lessons in second grade since his teacher was marginal...overall a good experience.

Moved to Boca and dived in head first with expensive prep schools. All three went to very pricey private schools. Advantages: teachers have less students which equals more attention. My middle child and youngest thrived in pre-school and 4th grade since the class size was literally 12 to one. Great group of children, nice parents, family atmosphere. My oldest, however, was in junior high and the school was not strong in that area. We moved him to a larger prep school where he played sports with famous people's children and everyone was flashy and entitled. Administration played favorites with the children of the school's biggest donors and most famous parents. Large staff turnover because the simple fact of life is that private school teachers get paid MUCH LESS than public school teachers. One of the main advantages for private school teachers is getting their own kids a free or heavily discounted education. Anyhow, the school was incorporated into a for-profit corporation and I felt it took the soul out of the school.

Our youngest won the lottery for the IB elementary program that teaches spanish and french, has uniforms and has the highest test scores in the state. My middle one got in to the middle school of the performing arts with a 45 million dollar new campus and and A rating. We sold our house and moved to the best high school district and our oldest is in public school.

If anyone is still hanging in reading this very, very long post THANKS. Bottom line, take your child and his individual needs, strengths and quirks, look at what is available to you and go with your gut. Money does not always buy happiness because there is always someone else out there with MORE money...and public schools are not always the best either.

For those with little kids/babies, wait and see what your child needs and where you are in life before deciding one way or the other. I have loved all THREE ways, private, religious and public. There are infinate factors.

You will have other "things" to do with your kids if you save on tuition $. One of the best perks of going into great public schools was having the extra money for the thrills: Like sending my kids to amazing sailing camps in NC each summer, family trips, buying my teen a car for his high school graduation, more $ for college, money for tutors and SAT prep classes, my middle child's upcoming school Theater trip to New York City, his tution at film acting camp, horseback riding classes, ballet, etc. These kind of expenses you NEVER imagine when you look at your sleeping toddler and wish the best for him or her. Parenting is such a challenge and you will face a million choices. But what a JOY!

 

[TAEMom]

I find that parents of academically gifted students as well as those requiring extra services need to advocate for their children. Special needs are often not recognized unless the parent works together with the school. Most curriculum is designed around the average learner and hopefully teachers have ways to customize to the others not fitting this criteria.

This goes back to "every school is different." I have three kids in public schools, two of them classified as gifted. Our district actually has an extremely high number of gifted kids, mostly due to the demographics of the district. What I have found is that the district actually caters quite a bit to the gifted kids - I get frustrated on behalf of my "average" kid! It seems nobody is "average" here!

Of course this is not stated by the district, but it is my theory that the reason that there are so many opportunities for gifted kids is b/c those kids are the ones that pull the school's test scores up even higher. It makes sense to enrich them as much as possible, to really get them to achieve to their potential, b/c when people are looking at school quality, they are looking at test scores, Natl. Merit Scholars, # of AP classes and kids passing AP tests, etc. I feel there is a huge amount of pressure put on the gifted kids.

Now, to answer another poster who asked whether gifted kids are on IEPs - in some states, yes, in others, no. Here, gifted kids are on "WEPs" (Written Education Plans), which are the same for every child in the grade level (unless they have other needs). Every time a school levy needs to be passed (and we are fortunate that there has always been enough community support to pass them), the gifted educators mention that gifted will get cut. To be honest, I'm not buying it though. These kids "help" the district too much and the school is not going to mess with a formula that is working!

 

[reginaastralis]

I'm thinking about private school for my daughter. It is something I am seriously looking into for my daughter, though she's only two.

I don't about you, but one of the things I have looked into is the food choices. Oh wow ... have you all looked into this? One of the things that turned me away from our local public school system is the fact that they serve chicken nuggest, french fries, chocolate cake and juice for lunch. Though, I looked into one of the most talked about private schools in our area, and they order out daily. Monday Chick fil a, Tuesday Subway sort of thing. AHH! Seriously, I want to send my daughter to school, where she can get an amazing schooling, but also feeds a healthy lunch. Is that too much to ask?

The local schools around here do decent with tests and grades and such ... but with school choice, there's a good choice I won't be able to get her in anyways.

Oh the joy of being a mom.

 

[lookingforward]

I'm thinking about private school for my daughter. It is something I am seriously looking into for my daughter, though she's only two.

I don't about you, but one of the things I have looked into is the food choices. Oh wow ... have you all looked into this? One of the things that turned me away from our local public school system is the fact that they serve chicken nuggest, french fries, chocolate cake and juice for lunch. Though, I looked into one of the most talked about private schools in our area, and they order out daily. Monday Chick fil a, Tuesday Subway sort of thing. AHH! Seriously, I want to send my daughter to school, where she can get an amazing schooling, but also feeds a healthy lunch. Is that too much to ask?

The local schools around here do decent with tests and grades and such ... but with school choice, there's a good choice I won't be able to get her in anyways.

Oh the joy of being a mom.

School lunches are up to the child. My daughter gets to choose between salads, fruits, chicken nuggets, etc. She also carries her lunch most of the time, that way I control what she eats. But school lunches are getting better each year (more health oriented, no trans fats, etc). She made the decision at age 8 to be a vegetarian, believe it or not. But she then decided to incorporate fish and cheese into her diet. (none of us are vegetarians, by the way) she learned about it at school. She decided she did not want to kill any animals.

 

[JacobsMommy11002]

This is so up my alley. We are struggling with the same thing. The true kicker was that I doubt I could afford private school for both kids for 6++ years. However, I love the private school, and it was a tough decision. Until I visited our local public...its newer, its nicer, has lots of ammenities the private didn't. Plus, public school teachers need to be accredited, which means they have ongoing education. Many private schools do not require this. Its still hard for me, because I do love the private school, tbu I think public will be a better fit. It sounds cheesy, but try listing the pros and cons of each.

 

[JacobsMommy11002]

I totally agree with those who say it depends on the quality of schools in your area. My kids have gone to Catholic school since K, and we're very happy with it. One of the major factors in our decision, though, was the fact that DH and I definitely didn't want the kids attending the public middle school in our district, and I didn't want them changing schools in sixth grade from public to private. You also have to take into consideration what's important outside of the strict academics. Athletics, music, arts, technology, gifted and talented and/or special services, class size, religious instruction, etc. All schools will have their strengths and weaknesses. We do make some trade-offs with the small size of the school, there aren't many "extras" but for our family it works.

Good luck with your decision!

Lori, may I ask where in Maine you are? Curious if its near me, because that ha been a big factor for me.

 

[abcboys]

This is going to sound like a dumb question but what makes a public school "excellent". I keep hearing about how a person's public school is "excellent". My son went to K and 1st at private catholic school. It was okay, no complaints. He did struggle some so the teacher wanted to hold him back in first grade. I chose not to and moved him to public for 2nd grade since he was one of the oldest already. I think he is doing fine there. He has raised his reading level up a whole grade since the beginning of the year, so that is good, but I have no idea if this is a "top rated school"

My sister has her girls go to catholic school and her DH is totally opposed to public school because he said he was made fun of when he went there. I know teasing can happen at any school. The catholic school only goes up to 8th grade so unless they plan to homeschool after that they will have to go to public school. We live in a small town (8,000) and public school so far is not as scary as they make it out to be.

 

[jakenjess]

Lori, may I ask where in Maine you are? Curious if its near me, because that ha been a big factor for me.

We're in Portland. Catholic school has worked out great for us. It's affordable (at least until we get to high school , we'll cross that bridge in a few years!) and the kids are getting a great education.

 

[JacobsMommy11002]

We're in Portland. Catholic school has worked out great for us. It's affordable (at least until we get to high school , we'll cross that bridge in a few years!) and the kids are getting a great education.

Ahh. We are in South Portland. And since there is only one Catholic school here, you can probably guess where my kids may go Jake is actually in Pre-k there right now. The problem for my lies in that while I LOVE the school, and its totally affordable (except, like you said, high school) the building is so run down and in need of work. Plus, he goes to speech, which will be part of his day at public school, and another extra thing for us at private. I am so torn...everytime I make a decision, I change my mind!