OT-Potty training--no pull ups overnight--HELP!!!

[DeeCeeSW]

Hi all,
I know this is off topic, but I am desperate for some advice here and really would appreciate your help!!!! My DS4 (he'll be 5 in four months) is completely potty trained during the day but still does not wake up dry in the mornings. We have tried stopping liquids 2 hours prior to bedtime, having him go to the bathroom every 20 minutes after that, and even waking him up to go once we go to bed. He still wakes up completely soaked and I am basically doing laundry every morning. He's too young for one of those alarms, and honestly, he wouldn't let me hook one of those up to him anyway.

Does anyone have any advice on what else I can do or should I just assume he is not ready and put him back in a pull up overnight and try again later?

Thanks in advance!

 

[minkydog]

I don't know if this is the "right" way, but this is the way we handled it: protect the mattress with a waterproof cover, overnight pullups, and have the child do the clean up in the a.m. There is no reason not to use some kind of undergarment to catch the water--he's asleep and unaware that he 's doing it. Waking up with wet clothing is just gross.

I grew up with a sister who wet the bed until she went to college; DH wet his bed well into his teens. So I wasn't surprised that DS19 had the same issue--it's very common in families. We never made a big deal out of it. However, I did make him responsible for stripping his sheets in the a.m. and putting all his wet things in the laundry room. A 5yo can do that, if you give him a basket. At this age, it may just be a problem of immaturity. There are lots of boys who wet, although he may not think he knows any. If it continues past age 7-8, then I'd have things checked out. We never had much luck with the meds and eventually DS just grew out of it.........although their are mornings when I find a load of laundry on. We just don't mention it.

 

[liamandcaili]

My DS 6 still wets the bed frequently. He stopped for a while, but restarted again this summer. We don't make a big deal about it. I try to limit him to one cup of milk at dinner and then a small cup of water if he's thirsty later, but really, I find it hard to deny him fluids when it is really hot. I do have him take a shower in the morning if he's wet...no going to school with pee on him!...and he is responsible for putting the wet things into the laundry. I've tried waking him up at night, but it really doesn't seem to help. He's either going to make it through or not. He is at the point where he is beginning to dislike waking up wet every morning, so I hope that will trigger more dry nights. He also is trying to hide the fact that he is wet, which has led to some very smelly sheets and blankets. Beware!

I haven't put him in pull-ups for at least two years...yes, this means more laundry, but I figure eventually, he'll get the hang of it. Everyone I have talked to, including his pediatrician, has said not to worry about it, so I don't.

Good luck!

 

[DeeCeeSW]

Thanks, Minkydog and llamandcaili!

I have a mattress pad and a waterproof cover on the mattress itself, plus I place a large waterproof pad on top of the sheets. For the past week, DS was wearing regular underwear PLUS a pair of vinyl underwear on top and still managed to urinate through his undergarments, through the pad, all the way through to the mattress pad. Thank goodness for waterproof mattress covers, or his mattress would be shot.

I would never deny DS fluids if it was really hot or he was really thirsty. I guess I will put him back to bed in pull up and look for future signs of readiness (consistently dry mornings?).

Thanks again for the advice!

 

[crisi]

As a long time bedwetter (I wet the bed until I was 12), put him in a pull up. My daughter just finally was ready to be night dry at 5. My son was about 4 1/2. My peditrician says a lot of kids just aren't capable of staying night dry until 6 or so - some even later.

Save the hot water and washer cycles!

 

[BeccaGrace]

Our DD4 is also wetting during the night despite not giving water before bed; potty trip before bed, etc.--she doesn't wake from it and after repeatedly finding her in the morning wet and cold we decided that pull-ups were a more fair choice for her. And less laundry

 

[disneymac]

Our pediatrician told us that there is a hormone that is produced that tells your body to make less urine at night and in many people - esp. boys - the body does not produce it until they are older. It is very common.

 

[mareed]

I say go back to pull-ups and don't worry about it for another couple of years. My DS was 7 and was wet every night (in a Huggies Goodnites pull-up). He was old enough to discuss doing something about it, and we purchased an alarm. We helped him get into clean underwear for a couple of nights, and then he was able to do it himself. Within 1 1/2 weeks he was dry at night! Still wore the alarm for a little while, but he's only had a very rare wet night since then. Actually, my DS4 & DS7 started being dry at exactly the same time. The fact that his younger brother was able to be dry at night was probably some of the motivation for him to try the alarm. We never gave him a hard time about it at all, and with the pull-up, a wet bed was never an issue. Our Dr. also said not to worry about it until around 7.

 

[littleprissboutique]

Here is my advice. I have been a BW my whole life!!! : ( I was really bad when I was little and always got embarrased. I am 26 and I still do on occassion. Yeah, It embarrasses me to death. You talk about being really embarrassed-- try to tell your soon to be husband ( married on 9/8/01) that you wet the bed once every two months or so.... He married me anyway!!! (Today is my 4th anvrsy!)

Thank goodness my dd3 does not, but here is what I suggest. Dont fuss at him. When my mom woke me up SHE MADE ME CLEAN IT UP. Or I woke up and just sleep on the floor until morning, I felt like dirt. I got to where I hated going to bed, because I knew that I was going to get in trouble. There were no such thing as the Goodnights when I was a kid. So, I suggest you buy some of those for him... They look like big kid underwear, and will give him confidence. A lot of bed wetting has nothing to do with fluid intake. It can be several things. My mom took me to all kinds of DR's growing up, and I was told I had a small bladder..? I asked my OBGYN ( embarrassing) before I got married, and she told me it is more common than I would think. She told me her mother is a BW and asked me a few questions.

She asked the following

1. Do you wake up while you are doing it....
2. What is the last thing you remember before you do it.....

Here were my answers,,,,,,

Yes, I have always caught myself, and the last thing I remember is I was dreaming about going to the bathroom!

She sent me to a specialist for a analysis.

My problem is this.... I go into what is called a REM sleep (rapid eye movement) or a deep sleep. When you are in deep sleep you have very vivid dreams (That seem very real) I always have dreams about going to town or to see my mom. Then, in my dreams I go to the restroom. Well, in my dreams I really think I am at a potty. When I am trying to go on the potty I cant??? So, I keep trying, then I wake up and you can figure out the rest. I have gotten better as I get older. I tell myself before I go to sleep that I will wake up to go to the restroom.

I was told I will have this problem my whole life. Nothing I can do about it. Your DS may have the same problem I have, but I hope he outgrows it. It is very hard to keep these things to yourself, or have a parent get mad at you. I still to this day tell myself, If my little one ever has this problem, I will do what I can to help her without embarrassing her...

God Bless and I hope you find a way to help him

 

[ellenmiele]

As a pediatrician, here is the advice I regularly give to my patients, after having examined the child and tested his or her urine to rule out any medical conditions:

There is virtually nothing you can do to help speed up the process of staying dry at night so go back to the Good-nites or a regular diaper (not a regular training type of pull-up because those aren't really meant for overnight and the wetness can lead to rashes). By using the Good-nites, you and your child can avoid the inconvenience and embarrassment of wetting the bed while you just patiently wait and reassure him that plenty of other kids (and even some grown-ups) have this same problem which will most likely (90%) resolve by the time he is 10 years old. In fact, bed-wetting (medically termed nocturnal enuresis) is defined as such in children only over age 5 - less than 5 years old, it's completely normal. So what else to do? Do not restrict fluids. Most alarms and other gimmicks don't have long-lasting results. DO NOT make the child clean up after such an accident unless laundry like that is already part of his regular chores because then it becomes an unfair punishment for doing something that he cannot control. Be an advocate for your child and silence any family members or are critical of him because of this problem. When children are over age 7 and have not yet gained nighttime control of urination, are having issues relating to sleep-overs or camping trips, and/or if the child's self-esteem is suffering despite best attempts at reassuring and encouraging him, there is a medication available that is safe and can be very effective for many patients. Talk to your pediatrician about it.

 

[BrerMama]

Excellent advice. My daughter was day trained at just over 2, but was almost 5 before she was night trained. We just kept her in pull-ups (didn't know about the pull-ups not being meant for overnight, but it explains some rashes she had). Finally she went on a trip with her grandparents and when she came back, we had no more accidents. She is an extremely deep sleeper to this day, but hasn't had an accident since that trip.

 

[Servants of Evan]

Our DS has just hit the four year mark and during his annual check-up we asked our pediatrician the same questions you're asking. She clearly said not to worry about it, and that we shouldn't make an issue of it until he reaches his seventh birthday. Unlike the previous pediatrician, she did advise that he help change his bed in the morning, but that was along the lines of "keeping him an active participant" in the process (as if he could be uninvolved?).

Thank Goodness for pull-ups. (and I think it's the ones that let the kids "feel" that they've wet that could cause the irritation, but we haven't really looked for them in his size).

Servants of Evan...

 

[calie_j]

Excellent advice on this thread. My DS wet the bed until he was around 8 or 9. I just kept him in pull-ups until "he" was ready and didn't make a big deal about it.

 

[DeeCeeSW]

Thank you ALL SO much for sharing your experiences. DS went to sleep with his pull up on tonight and I could see he was relieved. So am I. I did not want to "rush" this at all for my DS. I guess I was too caught up in what some of the other moms I know with kids my DS's age were saying, i.e., "Oh, my son/daughter was trained to sleep in underwear when we started potty training," "My son/daughter sleeps through the night and wakes up dry," etc. I was beginning to think that I had done something wrong by not putting him to bed in underwear. Truth is, he's only had a handful of dry mornings over the last year and a half, and I think in my heart I knew he probably wasn't ready.

A special thank you to littleprissboutique for being so candid, and thank you ellenmiele for the info. on Goodnights, I have also been putting DS to bed in regular training pants.

Thanks again!

 

[MelFas]

What a great thread! Its amazing what I have learnd on the DISboards!

I was starting to wonder about how do you go about getting my DS3 out of goodnights. I guess that answers that question!

Thanks so much for everyones input!!