OT: Potty training help; I'm at the end of my rope!

[jpeka65844]

With this kid! DS is 3 1/2 and has been "pee" trained since February. Pooping still continues to be a challenge. In April/May, we made lots of progress and he stopped having accidents at daycare. He would usually poop in the potty the first thing when we got home. Occasionally, he'd have a poop accident. No big deal. It was progress.

We visited family in Colorado the first week of June, he pooped twice in 4 days (typical for him), did it in the potty just fine. Since then, NOTHING. He's totally regressed and screams, cries, throws fits, and is generally unpleasant when asked to poop in the potty. He is still peeing just fine but has continued to have accidents in his pants. He doesn't tell me he's going; I usually just have to smell it.

Now, we've tried just about everything in the book. If one more person tells me to use gummy bears as rewards, I'm going to scream. Oh yeah? They'll work when popsicles, Skittles, marshmallows, Thin Mints, Spiderman toys, Spiderman shoes, and a trip to see Grandma WON'T? When a reward is offered to him, he simply says "I don't want it" How do you get him motivated then? We even then broke the big "taboo" and punished for having an accident. If he had one, he didn't get to watch his favorite movie. That worked for awhile, then he didn't care about that either.

In addition to this trouble, he hasn't had a SOLID BM since Colorado. He "skid marks" 3-5 times and day and what little matter there is is what we call in our house "the peanut butter poops" We've sought doctor's advice but all they suggest is upping fiber. We've added Benefiber supplements, increased his fruit intake, cut out sugary juices, and tried (notice I said TRIED) to get him to eat more whole grains. Nothing. No movement. No change.

He's set to go to daycare today (the one day a week he goes) and I just know he's going to have a massive blowout that the daycare workers will have to clean up AGAIN. Just like he did last week when he went. They gave me the advice to NOT put him in pull-ups since that would really signal to him that it is ok to poop in his pants. They advise just keeping him in underwear as a signal that he has to learn this. Let's just say, I'm throwing a lot of underwear away.

I don't know what to do. This has been going on for five months and we're all stressed and at the end of our rope about this. He's SO smart and I know he knows better. I just don't know what it is inside his little head that's keeping him from doing it.

Thanks for sticking with this story if you've come this far. Any suggestions? Any at all??

 

[clc053103]

I am so sorry, PT'ing is SOOO STRESSFUL!!!!! I truly feel for you.

What you are describing with the "skid marks" etc is a clear sign that he is holding it in, which causes it to become a large mass that eventually stretches the muscles until some "leaks" out (I literally just read about this in a book last week and a friend from DS's school has this issue with her daughter as well). So, eat all the fiber you want, if he's not letting it out, the same problem will exist. Is there a different dr at your ped practice you can speak with? I have heard of prescribing myralax to help with this issue. Otherwise, I am not sure what to recommend. Does DS associate any shame with wearing a diaper? I hate to use threats, but maybe I would threaten that he will need to go back to a diaper (not a pull up, which seems less babyish). Have you tried having him pick out new underpants? How about keeping an eye out to "catch him in the act" and take him to the potty immediately - that is how I trained my DS, caught him the first time and he never went in his pants again, but I think that might have just been luck.

Good luck to you!!!!

 

[mjkacmom]

Four out of my five were pee trained before poop trained, and this is VERY common. Can you get him to ask for a pullup or diaper to poop in? Withholding can lead to a very bad condition (starts with an E), which causes permanant bowel damage, leading to having poop accidents for the rest of his life (skid marks are a symptom).

 

[Manda]

I'm surprised your doctor wasn't more concerned. When I described the same situation to my doctor, she took it very seriously. As the previous response said, the "skid marks" are a sign of withholding - and withholding can lead to serious issues.

My doctor had us start miralax (which is now OTC, I believe). It's odorless, tasteless, and very gentle. I added it to Kool-Aid - which was a very special treat he didn't usually get - and told him that it was the special poopy juice the doctor gave him to make sure it didn't hurt when he poopied on the potty. The doctor had us start with a small dosage and we were to up it until he basically couldn't NOT go. We didn't have to go that far though - he believed in the power of the poopy juice and that was really enough for him.

I also bought an assortment of small gifts (Matchbox cars, etc.) and wrapped them and put them in a basket in the bathroom. I didn't say anything about them until he asked. Then I just matter-of-factly told him that they were poopy presents and when someone pooped in the potty, they got to open a present. No pressure. No bribes. Just told him like it was an every day thing. He thought about it for a while... stared at the presents for a few hours... considered. Then the gift wrapping and mystery got the better of him and he pooped so he could unwrap one of those.

And that's pretty much how we got past that.

But, again... really surprised that your doctor didn't take this more seriously.

 

[poegirl30]

DH and I were discussing this about our three year old last night. He's almost pee trained and hasn't pooped in his pants in about two weeks (keeping fingers crossed), but he had an pee accident last night. We've decided to keep him in underwear (unless we are going on a long trip then we use a pullup), and if he has accidents then we just change him, but we still make him sit on the potty. For our little munchkin, it's about not wanting to stop playing (or whatever he's doing) to actually go potty. I have two older kids and never had this issue with them, so for me, this has been challenging.

The one thing that I've been trying to do is keep him on a potty schedule. I don't ask him if he has to go (he always says he doesn't have to go), but just tell him we are going to potty, and depending on his mood, he goes either willingly or he goes but he whines about it. I did let him pick out his new underwear, and he doesn't want to lose them to the garbage (if he has a bm accident, he knows they go in the trash like a pull up). That seems to be the biggest incentive to get him motivated to potty.

Every kid is different, and what works for one doesn't necessarily work for another. I'm sorry if I'm not much help, but I definitely feel your pain. Hope your ds is potty trained soon.

 

[fimac]

When you went to the doctor did they assess how constipated your son was ?
I would look at using laxatives to help him out.

If he has encoperesis it will be very difficult to toilet train him.

Does he drink at lot of milk or eat a lot of dairy product ? I found those to be very constipating in my kids.

There are other foods that cause constipation and as increasing his fibre is not helping you might look for the cause.

His training will be a lot easier if the process if easier for him.

 

[jodifla]

With this kid! DS is 3 1/2 and has been "pee" trained since February. Pooping still continues to be a challenge. In April/May, we made lots of progress and he stopped having accidents at daycare. He would usually poop in the potty the first thing when we got home. Occasionally, he'd have a poop accident. No big deal. It was progress.

We visited family in Colorado the first week of June, he pooped twice in 4 days (typical for him), did it in the potty just fine. Since then, NOTHING. He's totally regressed and screams, cries, throws fits, and is generally unpleasant when asked to poop in the potty. He is still peeing just fine but has continued to have accidents in his pants. He doesn't tell me he's going; I usually just have to smell it.

Now, we've tried just about everything in the book. If one more person tells me to use gummy bears as rewards, I'm going to scream. Oh yeah? They'll work when popsicles, Skittles, marshmallows, Thin Mints, Spiderman toys, Spiderman shoes, and a trip to see Grandma WON'T? When a reward is offered to him, he simply says "I don't want it" How do you get him motivated then? We even then broke the big "taboo" and punished for having an accident. If he had one, he didn't get to watch his favorite movie. That worked for awhile, then he didn't care about that either.

In addition to this trouble, he hasn't had a SOLID BM since Colorado. He "skid marks" 3-5 times and day and what little matter there is is what we call in our house "the peanut butter poops" We've sought doctor's advice but all they suggest is upping fiber. We've added Benefiber supplements, increased his fruit intake, cut out sugary juices, and tried (notice I said TRIED) to get him to eat more whole grains. Nothing. No movement. No change.

He's set to go to daycare today (the one day a week he goes) and I just know he's going to have a massive blowout that the daycare workers will have to clean up AGAIN. Just like he did last week when he went. They gave me the advice to NOT put him in pull-ups since that would really signal to him that it is ok to poop in his pants. They advise just keeping him in underwear as a signal that he has to learn this. Let's just say, I'm throwing a lot of underwear away.

I don't know what to do. This has been going on for five months and we're all stressed and at the end of our rope about this. He's SO smart and I know he knows better. I just don't know what it is inside his little head that's keeping him from doing it.

Thanks for sticking with this story if you've come this far. Any suggestions? Any at all??

Rewards didn't work for my son either. I had to dig a bit deeper and think about what was really motivating him NOT to use the potty. In our case, he didn't want to stop what he was doing and head to the bathroom.

So, I started telling him "Uh-oh! All the fun stops when we have a accident."

I made him responsible for the cleanup (under my supervision) AND I made sure it took as long as possible, including a bath to clean up. After about 3 times of that, he was so ticked he just started using the potty.

 

[puffkin]

Just a couple thoughts as my method of #2 training only causes flames and accusations on these boards but it works....

What are you having him poop in. My DS hated pooping in his little potty and he was very uncomfortable on the toilet. He felt unstable and thought he would fall in. I bought the Baby Bjorn potty ring and that thing is awesome! Great fit and very solid. Plus DS could take it on and off the toilet himself. Completely cured him of his fear of "falling in".

Who cleans him up after a mess? I have read numerous things that say the child should take full responsibility for the mess and do most of the clean up (obviously with supervision). We didn't have to do this as my DS #2 trained very quickly but I do know they use this approach at his daycare. The thought is they get tired of cleaning up and just go in the potty to save the hassle.

 

[LONES]

I definitely feel your pain! We've been through this with my dd who will be 5 the end of the summer. She still isn't trained!!! We go through many pairs of underwear a day, as she is constantly "skidmarking". We went through at least a year of it before she was finally diagnosed with Encopresis. It's been an absolute nightmare. She's been on Miralax now for 2 years, and it doesn't seem to do any good (although it seems to work for most people). In April, I finally made yet another appointment at the pediatricians office and said, "I'm not leaving here until someone figures this out." They sent us for x-rays where they did confirm 2 large masses of stool stuck high up in her colon. They also did a finger rectal exam. That night, she woke up screaming in agony, clutching her stomach. We ended up at the ER, where they they again confirmed the 2 masses of stool, and said it was too high up for a suppository or enema to reach. They sent us home and told us to keep up with the Miralax. We then went to a Pediatric GI specialist, who ordered an MRI. She was looking for physical problems that might be causing her Encopresis. The MRI report came back fine, except it noted the "ridiculous amount of stool" inside of this child. We've been told our only option other than to just keep giving her Miralax at home (she gets at least 3 full doses per day) is to put her in the hospital with a nose tube miralax drip, until she is fully cleaned out. The doctor really doesn't want to do this, and insurance will not cover it. At this point I'm really not the person to offer advice... but I would say do not allow it to get to this point. I would ask the doctor if they could do an x-ray asap to confirm whether or not you're dealing with encopresis. I would have to think the earlier this can be caught, the better. Good luck to you!

**Also... I read about encopresis on line when doing random google searches. My child wasn't diagnosed until I printed off some information, brought it to the doctors office, and said "Do you think this is what's going on?"

 

[jpeka65844]

Thanks so much everyone! The more I read about it, the more this encoperesis sounds like my son.

However, he did go to daycare today and had a massive blowout. I just threw those underwear away. He probably doesn't have to go for a bit after that...

I'm going to call the doc tomorrow and talk to her about it. I'd like to try the Miralax but DH thinks it will make the "peanut butter poops" even worse. Any opinions about that?

 

[QVCshopper]

I definitely feel your pain! We've been through this with my dd who will be 5 the end of the summer. She still isn't trained!!! We go through many pairs of underwear a day, as she is constantly "skidmarking". We went through at least a year of it before she was finally diagnosed with Encopresis. It's been an absolute nightmare. She's been on Miralax now for 2 years, and it doesn't seem to do any good (although it seems to work for most people). In April, I finally made yet another appointment at the pediatricians office and said, "I'm not leaving here until someone figures this out." They sent us for x-rays where they did confirm 2 large masses of stool stuck high up in her colon. They also did a finger rectal exam. That night, she woke up screaming in agony, clutching her stomach. We ended up at the ER, where they they again confirmed the 2 masses of stool, and said it was too high up for a suppository or enema to reach. They sent us home and told us to keep up with the Miralax. We then went to a Pediatric GI specialist, who ordered an MRI. She was looking for physical problems that might be causing her Encopresis. The MRI report came back fine, except it noted the "ridiculous amount of stool" inside of this child. We've been told our only option other than to just keep giving her Miralax at home (she gets at least 3 full doses per day) is to put her in the hospital with a nose tube miralax drip, until she is fully cleaned out. The doctor really doesn't want to do this, and insurance will not cover it. At this point I'm really not the person to offer advice... but I would say do not allow it to get to this point. I would ask the doctor if they could do an x-ray asap to confirm whether or not you're dealing with encopresis. I would have to think the earlier this can be caught, the better. Good luck to you!

**Also... I read about encopresis on line when doing random google searches. My child wasn't diagnosed until I printed off some information, brought it to the doctors office, and said "Do you think this is what's going on?"

LONES--I'm so sorry to hear about all of this with your DD. I'm sure it's been terrible for all of you! But, I also brought info from the internet to the Dr. when my DD was diagnosed with a rare fever syndrome that no one had ever heard of (PFAPA).

OP, good luck. My DS3 was BM trained well before he was pee trained. I'm not sure why, but I started when he had just turned 2. Pee training took a good 9 months for him to finally get. I had been putting him in 1 pullup/day and still taking him pee throughout the day. I never gave in, even when he clearly didn't want to use the potty for pee. One day, I was like "That's it! No more pull-ups!" (I was clearly frustrated) and I think things finally clicked for him. For months, he had been saying he'd go potty "When I turn 3." I think it was a power stuggle for him.

I really like the idea of the wrapped presents that another poster suggested. With I had thought of that...

Good luck to all!

 

[ktlm]

I can really sympathize as I am right there with you. Be very VERY careful forcing the poop issue. It becomes a power struggle and the withholding can become much worse leading to substantial problems. The skid marks and peanut butter poops are evidence that withholding is happening with your son. You are in danger mode right now. Based on my experience, I think the daycare gave you bad advice which could lead to the same type of problems we are having right now. We are going through this too. We started PTing DD shortly after she hit 2. She did fine with the peeing, but the pooping she did not want to do on the potty. As a result she began withholding and had major constipation issues. The doctor said we started her too early for her, and were in dangerous territory and needed to completely stop potty training. Once they start withholding it becomes a pattern. When they withhold, it hurts when the poop finally comes out. Then they get scared and withhold more even if you have backed off the potty training. Because our pushing the pooping in the potty too soon had started the withholding cycle, even when we backed off she still had a tendancy to withhold and we had to do occasional suppositories when she got plugged (which is horrible), and the doctor wanted us to cut out a lot of the dairy in her diet and do daily laxatives since she was continuing to try to withhold. We searched for a more natural method than the laxatives and found that a tablespoon of olive oil in a glass of orange juice every day worked great. We also cut out some of the dairy and pushed more fruit (can't get vegetables down her). We would still occassionally have problems, but nothing major and they got further apart. By the time she was 3, she had completely trained herself as far as peeing, and only wore panties even at night with no accidents. The problem is that she continues to demand a pull-up to poop, and will not go without it. At the 3 year check up the doctor told us not to push and eventually she would just do it on her own. She went over 4 months with absolutely no withholding or constipation problems. We used the olive oil, but reduced it little by little. Because she had no problems for so long and she is now 3 years and 4 months we started to get frustrated that she still shows absolutely no interest in pooping on the potty, so in addition to the rewards we have always promised if she did it (which she could care less about), we made her start pooping in the bathroom next to the potty instead of in her closet where she likes to go. That didn't seem to cause any problems and we thought the constipation was resolved, so a couple of weeks ago we started telling her when this package of diapers ran out, she would have to poop on the potty. She said okay, but then when the time got there completely got stressed out and starting begging us to look in old diaper bags etc. to find one more (which we did). This week, when she really thought it was only a day or two away, unfortunately she started withholding again. This time even 2 suppositories didn't work (they only caused nuggets to come out), because she gets on her toes or crosses her legs and clenches her butt as hard as she can screaming and crying to keep the poop in (even doing this every 15 minutes for the full day when the suppository medicine was trying to get it out). We can't convince her otherwise even by giving and promising diapers until she decides to go on the potty. Starting today, our Dr. is now having us give her Miralax in full adult doses to try to get the poop so thin she can't hold it in no matter how hard she tries. We have to do that for the next few days until it comes out (Dr. said could be anywhere from a few hours to 3 days) and then for one more day after. We then will go back to our old olive oil trick until we are sure she has quit withholding again. The Dr. and us all believe that it was because we tried to push her again. The Dr. told us we have to completely back off again. We need to assure her that she can poop in a pull up until she is ready. We will promise rewards (which does no good with her) and try to get her to continue poop in the bathroom next to the toilet, but that's it. DD is an extremely strong and stubborn personality and this is a control issue with her. This is a withholding issue, not a true constipation issue. The Dr. said the withholding can cause much more damage to her than the fact that she may not poop on the potty for a while. The Dr. said eventually she will just do it herself, that they all do, but that we are just going to have to wait especially since this last push to train has turned into a complete and total disaster. So I guess, my advice would be just to do whatever it takes to get him secure enough to quit withholding. Sorry I don't want to scare you or discourage you, but I see the danger signs with your son and don't want you to get where we are by pushing or forcing it. Our DD is extremely smart too and she knows exactly what she is supposed to do. I have no clue what is going on in her little head either. If anyone has any suggestions of how to get their little brains to see that pooping on the potty is great, I'd love to hear them.

 

[K and K's Mommy]

We had the same problem with my DS when he was potty training. The only difference was he would ask for a diaper when he needed to poop so he wasn't constipated. I'd say no to a diaper but always eventually gave in after he wouldn't go for a day or two.

Here's what my doctor said to do: Give him the diaper, but make him sit on the toilet when he goes. Continue this for a few weeks. Then cut a hole in the diaper so the BM goes into the toilet. After doing this for a few weeks try without the diaper.

For some reason we didn't have to do the cutting the hole part. For about two weeks I let him have his diaper, but he had to sit on the toilet. The day I was going to cut a hole, he said, "I don't need a diaper when I poop anymore." Not sure why he wasn't scared anymore.

 

[Erin1700]

I am not saying I agree with everything this guy says, but research John Rosemond.

 

[disneymarie]

I am so sorry, PT'ing is SOOO STRESSFUL!!!!! I truly feel for you.

What you are describing with the "skid marks" etc is a clear sign that he is holding it in, which causes it to become a large mass that eventually stretches the muscles until some "leaks" out (I literally just read about this in a book last week and a friend from DS's school has this issue with her daughter as well). So, eat all the fiber you want, if he's not letting it out, the same problem will exist. Is there a different dr at your ped practice you can speak with? I have heard of prescribing myralax to help with this issue. Otherwise, I am not sure what to recommend. Does DS associate any shame with wearing a diaper? I hate to use threats, but maybe I would threaten that he will need to go back to a diaper (not a pull up, which seems less babyish). Have you tried having him pick out new underpants? How about keeping an eye out to "catch him in the act" and take him to the potty immediately - that is how I trained my DS, caught him the first time and he never went in his pants again, but I think that might have just been luck.

Good luck to you!!!!

Yep my oldest did this too, so frustrating, did not have pull ups then, we had thick training pants.
My ds did not want to take the time to go and held it in, He would block uo and then the wetter stuff came out around, I swear at 34 he does the same thing as he still blocks up the system when he goes.

They only thing I can offer, is it happens finally. The more stressed I was the worse for me. Didn;t affect him at all. But I am divided on keeping pants on him, and going pull ups.

Now when i baby set a doctors kids the youngest was 3 and when they went away I put him in the cloth diapers, he wanted pampers, I bargined that he could wear pants if we remembered to use the toilet, used the big boy, not the potty. He was trained the week they were gone away and I stayed there,

Now, my grandson was 4 last week. He called me all happy that he knew he had to go poop, and went himself, he was so happy. But Mom put him in a pamper and he felt OK to not take the time to go pee and soaked that diaper, and the next one and the next one.

I told the kids, and the dgs, just do not buy anymore cases of diapers, It will only get more difficult the older and longer it goes on.

He does have a speech ephasia (sp) and has speech classes. He is interested in using all the public toilets now.
I bought him Thomas the Tank and he likes having them on,

I even have allowed him, we are rual to pick a tree if no time to get inside,
Mostly he goes inside, but a novalty to hit a tree occasionally.

 

[crisi]

We had a stubborn kid - and our ped had us put her in diapers. Since there wasn't a physical issue (and she wasn't holding it, she was just refusing to take a break from whatever she was doing to stop for the potty), we just made her a baby again - her choice. She had to wear diapers - not pullups (pullups were enough like underwear for her to feel like she was a big girl). She also didn't get "big girl" privledges - like skipping nap. If she used the potty, she got to wear underwear and skip rest time (which she'd outgrown anyway). If she had an accident, she needed to wear diapers and had to 'nap.'

I think for you, however, you have reached the constipation point and this might just make it worse. I would go back to diapers however - and give him permission to use them. Not potty training is preferable to encoperesis.

 

[ruthfamilyvacationer]

DD will be 3 in September and we have recently encountered the same thing. We started potty training arond 2 1/2 but DD was terrified of doing #2 on the potty so she held it. So we stopped potty training but she was still holding it (tip toes, legs crossed, face bright red from holding it). I changed 12 "skid mark" pull ups one day! So we went to the ped. and she is now on soy milk gets an Activia (we give her the liquid ones and tell her its her "milkshake" and she gets Miralax once a day. It took 3 days of suppositories to "clean her out" but she been going *fingers crossed* regularly for a month now. I dont really care at this point where she does it, I am just not pushing it anymore. Ped said to try again when we think she's ready but if she goes back to old habits stop. I would say to do the same. I know its so frustrating, I feel for you. Its just not worth it, that encropseis is serious stuff. My ped. did tell me that this is a VERY common problem. Just know there are other mommies out there struggling with the same thing

 

[teachallday]

We had a stubborn kid - and our ped had us put her in diapers. . . we just made her a baby again - her choice. She had to wear diapers - not pullups (pullups were enough like underwear for her to feel like she was a big girl). She also didn't get "big girl" privledges - like skipping nap. If she used the potty, she got to wear underwear and skip rest time (which she'd outgrown anyway). If she had an accident, she needed to wear diapers and had to 'nap.' . . . I would go back to diapers however - and give him permission to use them. Not potty training is preferable to encoperesis.

From my experience training a lot of kids, this approach is very effective with toilet training older kids. It is a logical consequence approach. Something I learned a long time ago that there are two things that you never want to get into a power struggle with a child over because they will always win. Eating and toileting. These are the two things that they can actually control. If they choose not to eat something, you can not force them to eat it. If they decide they are not going to go in the toilet, you can not force them to go. Little kids have so little control over their lives, but these two things they learn real quick that they have control. Now don't get me wrong, you can manipulate a child into eating or toileting when they don't want to (this is where the recommendation for sticker charts come from), but you can not Force them. If you set up consequence that the child does not like, they will often do what you want even if they don't want to because they dislike the consequence even more than what you are asking.

You use logical consequences for their actions. A child wets or poops their pants they obviously need diapers and are not ready for big kid underwear (I use "big kid" and "little kid" - never using the word "baby"). Underwear is for kids who get all their pee and poop in the potty; Pull-ups are for kids who use the toilet for all their pee and poop, but occasionally "accidentally" don't make it; Diapers are for kids who do NOT use the toilet for all their pee and poop. Kids know that they should be in a diaper if they can't get it in the potty, it is only us adults that have a different view.

To make the approach more effective, attach a baby item or activity that they have outgrown to the diapers. The previous poster attached naps, but you could attach any baby item it just has to be something that the child views as something for babies that they don't need anymore; bottle, highchair, bibs, naps, pacifiers, crib, etc. It needs to be something that the child can logically see as connected to diapers. If the child looks around they see all the kids using this connected thing as kids in diapers and kids not in diapers not using this item.

To toilet train a child you need to take the stress off of the issue, and after months on limited success, everyone in the house is under stress. The fastest way to take the stress off of "accidents" is to put the child back into protective undergarments (Pull-ups or Diapers). Grown-ups tend to not be as stressed or frustrated over wet or messy Pull-ups or Diapers. I can not stress enough however, that A child does not have an "accident" in a diaper, since a child wearing a diapers is expected to use it for pee and poop. So changing a wet or messy diaper is treated like it is perfectly normal. If a child in a diaper chooses to use the potty instead of the diaper, now that is note-worthy event. I also have a child have success using the potty while in a diaper before I switch them to Pull-ups. Since it is harder for a little kid to know they have to go, get an adult for help, and then get to the potty. If they can be successful using the potty while in a diaper, they can definately do it in Pull-Ups or Underwear. I have a kid in Pull-ups till they can keep them dry and clean for at least 2 weeks without accidents (or skid marks). If a child can only go 3 weeks dry and clean before having another "accident", I extend the time in Pull-ups before switching to underwear.

Take the stress off and put your child back into diapers. Stop all toilet training efforts till they are no longer with-holding. Yes you will have them back to going pee in the diapers, but half way toilet trained is not toilet trained. Next time they will know they can be successful with pee, making the efforts really only on the poop.

Good Luck

 

[friendofgusgus]

One caveat to "turning back the clock" on a child who is not toileting: it will NOT work if the child prefers being treated like a baby. If they would prefer going back to having a bottle or being treated like a "baby," do not turn back to diapers.

If you do, the little stinker has just manipulated you BIG TIME!

To the OP: Does your pediatrician's office have a developmental specialist? You really need to talk this out with someone who will look at it from a developmental standpoint rather than a medical one. This is often a behavior issue (withholding) that then becomes a physical issue (encorporesis.)

There are also books that might help - I good one is "It Hurts When I Poop:A Story for Children Who Are Scared to Use the Potty" by Howard J. Bennett.

My best armchair analysis - and it's worth exactly what you're paying for it, LOL - is that at some point your son had pain when going that he now associates with moving his bowels. Since that causes him to hold on, he is guaranteed more discomfort since the stool gets impacted and is too large to move easily. The problem comes when something finally loosens things up and then, whammo!

One other thing to check is iron-fortified milk or food in your son's diet. My sister had a similar problem with one of my nieces that we traced back to her new iron-fortified chocolate milk. It wasn't the dairy that was stopping her up but the iron, which is known to be constipating but seems to parents like such a good thing to load up on.

Keep your chin up - these things do pass, I promise.

 

[ktlm]

How's it going Denice? Did you talk to your Dr.? Sorry about my previous long winded post, but I was a stressed out Mom at that point. We did the last dose of Miralax today. It didn't completely work until today (just a little here and there) and now we can't leave the house. She has pooped 6 times today, and it has gone from mush to liquid. UGH! We'll be back to the olive oil tomorrow. Aside from these boards, we have actually run into 2 other families this week that are having the same exact problem. Ruthfamily, your DD sounds exactly like mine- I've never seen a face so red.