OT? Not sure: Conflicts with Bringing Family to DVC

[adriannabannana]

Thanks for the input everyone, this is a really touchy situation and your advice has really given me a great launch-pad to form a plan to deal with this.

My grandparents have done a tremendous amount of things for me, my husband and our baby. They're getting up there in years, (gramps is in his 80s) and are a little 'sensitive' at times. I think the approach of giving them the dates and a deadline to get back to me is a very reasonable one. I don't think I'm going to offer the family reunion to them at all, unless they're willing to rent the points themselves. I feel really good about this approach, since the response from all of you is just about 100% unanimous.

Thanks again!

 

[joepoe]

Our approach to taking family members or friends is this:

1) We set the dates.
2) We arrange their DVC accomodations, if we invited them.
3) If they want to come, great
4) If they can't make it at that time, well, we tried.
5) If they are staying offsite, then they pay and we need to plan far enough in advance for us to be able to use our points.

Saves one HECK of a lot of bullcrud!

 

[adriannabannana]

We really flubbed on that first year, they committed to the trip, but we didn't have a back-up plan, so when the cancelled, we were scrambling because we'd borrowed the extra points and were going to lose them all if they didn't come.

Actually, we goofed on the next trip too, because we got a studio for my Mother (she raised a stink over having to share a room) only to have her leave my Stepdad home to take care of their elderly dog. At least she was apologetic and greatful for the accomodation afterward.

My Mom is 100% Greek, and mediteranean families are tough. There's nothing they won't do for you; they'll jump in front of a bus for you if you need them to, but the payback is that the same is expected of you...especially when it comes to your elders. This makes the whole DVC experience a real challenge, let me tell you. Thankfully, my Uncle just bought in, so some of the pressure is off me.

 

[ditzy]

Amen tjkraz!!
I think we need a new section on how to deal with relatives and DVC...

I started by asking #1 son, his wife and 4-year old to join me for a 5 day trip in a 2BR. The next year I asked #2 son, his wife and baby. When I told #1 son, he said great--when are we going? So guess who ended up on the sofabed in the 2BR! Next trip included #1 son & family, #2 son & family and a #2 son's sister-in-law. I got a 2BR and a studio and still slept on the sofabed. Even scheduling the timing of the trip has become a family decision. We all get along really well and share expenses, but I feel that I have lost control. I bought another 100 points (320 total) but can't afford more. How do I regain control without offending anyone?

 

[adriannabannana]

Originally posted by ditzy
I started by asking #1 son, his wife and 4-year old to join me for a 5 day trip in a 2BR. The next year I asked #2 son, his wife and baby. When I told #1 son, he said great--when are we going? So guess who ended up on the sofabed in the 2BR! Next trip included #1 son & family, #2 son & family and a #2 son's sister-in-law. I got a 2BR and a studio and still slept on the sofabed. Even scheduling the timing of the trip has become a family decision. We all get along really well and share expenses, but I feel that I have lost control. I bought another 100 points (320 total) but can't afford more. How do I regain control without offending anyone?

I think I can mirror what earlier posters have said and summarize it like this; you need to schedule the vacation for yourself, then lay it on the line for the rest of your family. You tell them where they'll be sleeping (even I didn't give up the bedroom; MIL and my Mom slept on the sofa bed), and when the vacation will take place, and let them know how soon you'll need their committment before it will be too late to accomodate them. If anyone balks, just gently let them know that they can always buy-into the DVC themselves, but in order to preserve your money and sanity, this is how the invites go.

It'll be tough, but I think that even my grandparents will learn to respect us on this, since it really is a gift...not an obligation. (and that's what we have to keep in mind when we're dealing with our family members and our DVC time)

 

[ditzy]

Originally posted by adriannabannana ...you need to schedule the vacation for yourself, then lay it on the line for the rest of your family.

Good advice--thanks.
I was thinking about getting a studio for me and a 2BR for my sons and letting them deal with the logistics and extended family invitations!

 

[JessetheCowgirl]

Originally posted by Rence
When my partner and I were going through the sales presentation, our guide started talking about how we could bring my sisters and nieces with us to DVC. We told her to stop right there or she was going to lose the sale. The thought of trying to coordinate vacations with my sisters and their families would have sent me fleeing the DVC office in panic.

 

[adriannabannana]

This thread got my courage up to call the Grandparents, and I went ahead and did as everyone suggested. They seem to have taken it nicely, but we'll see how everything works out.

Now, the only thing I have to worry about is whether other family members are going to get mad about not being invited yet...

 

[BostonDisneyKid]

Reading this (and similar) threads makes me appreciate my family and friends all the more...

 

[tjkraz]

Originally posted by BostonDisneyKid
Reading this (and similar) threads makes me appreciate my family and friends all the more...

I'm starting to agree.

We have a trip planned later this year and my parents are coming along as our guests. We had one other relative who said something like "so when are we going" when told of our DVC purchase. That question was basically deflected with a chuckle and the response "well, these trips aren't free, you know."

Other than that, I can't think of any other relatives that have put us in an uncomfortable situation. There are some we will probably ask to come along over the years, but we certainly aren't going to take a trip at a time that is inconvenient to us. And we won't feel any obligation to host a friend or relative that we simply don't want joining us on vacation.

In fact, when people have expressed an interest in WDW, I've told them a little bit about renting points and offered to rent points on their behalf and have the points transferred to my account so that I can help them manage the trip. But I've always included the comment "we don't even have enough points for our own needs!" That seems to get the message across.

 

[ditzy]

It's not that I don't appreciate my family. I purchased DVC for family trips. But I thought that I, as owner, would have more influence.

 

[adriannabannana]

Originally posted by tjkraz


In fact, when people have expressed an interest in WDW, I've told them a little bit about renting points and offered to rent points on their behalf and have the points transferred to my account so that I can help them manage the trip. But I've always included the comment "we don't even have enough points for our own needs!" That seems to get the message across.

I am SO stealing that line...

 

[Kewz1]

We bought DVC so we could take my family along. We've been celebrating Christmas in January for several years with them now. We've since made it a Christmas/marathon thing. Fortunately for us, my dh's parents don't like WDW (actually I think they have NO CLUE what WDW is all about -- their last visit was in 76). Regardless, we have yet to have any family issues.

Here's something kind of funny -- my sister's boyfriend has joined us on these family trips since 98. They broke up a few months ago but guess who is still coming with on our family trip to WDW?? Yep! The now ex-boyfriend! It's addicting!!

Kristen

 

[barbnbrian]

Does anyone charge their family to come along on their DVC trips? We just bought in at SSR and I would love to have a trip with my DS, her DH and 2 kids, but we're a family of 5 ourselves. To include them would mean renting a bigger place and more points. It sure would be nice to figure out a $$$ amount and tell her if they want to come along, it will cost them XXX per night because we need to rent a bigger place. Anyone else do this to their relatives? What would be a fair price to charge? I'm not out to make money on them, but don't want to be paying for their family vacation either. Comments please?

 

[Lora]

Originally posted by barbnbrian
Does anyone charge their family to come along on their DVC trips?

For our first DVC trip, my parents paid the price of the All-Stars to stay in the studio portion of our 2BR at OKW. Since then, we've not charged them, but they have contributed by buying groceries and such. - not to mention the great help they have been with the kids! It would depend on who I'm inviting and why. I have certain relatives that I just simplly could not afford to accomodate. The time my Aunt and Uncle came along we didn't charge them because it was sort of a "thank you" trip for lots of stuff.

 

[tjkraz]

I don't think there is anything wrong with charging your relatives if that's what your relationship dictates. It shouldn't be a given that just because you want people to join you on your vacation that it has to be your treat.

There are a lot of different ways to look at it. Using a point rental fee of $10 per point for the additional space would be one alternative. You could base it on a portion of the Rack Rate. You could base it on the price of a different accommodation as Lora mentioned. It's really your call...

Unless you bought more points than you really intend on using for just your family, you might want to consider renting the additional points and just have your relatives pay the exact rental fee. Just make sure they understand that DVC does not have the same liberal cancellation policies as any other hotel. Once they commit to the trip, it's a done-deal.

 

[ditzy]

Although we don't share the cost of the accommodations, relatives don't allow me to buy food. But I think that a fair price to charge (if they insisted) would be a portion of the annual maintenance cost per point, i.e. a portion of $4.00 per point for points used.

 

[southtown]

We took a couple friends of ours that are disney fans with us on our first DVC trip.We stayed a couple nights at OKW and 3 nights at BCV with a awesome view of SSE. Before the trip my friend asked how much it would be because he knew we paid alot of money for it and wasnt expecting a free vacation.I told my friend that the difference between a 1br and a 2br was 8 pts/night and if he rented them from a member the going rate was $10/point,so it would cost them $80/night. He had absolutely no problem paying it because he knew they basically got a deluxe room for value price,plus the use of the kitchen. After a couple of days down there his wife asked how much he gave us and when he told her she thought it was a great deal.
Once we walked into OKW our friends liked the room so much they started talking about buying into DVC, and I think the stay at BCV being so close to Epcot and MGM and hanging at SAB clinched it. I cant wait intil they buy because we made a deal that we will go on our Disney trips together and not charge each other for the rooms. It will be two DVC stays for the price of one. I cant wait
I think I am luckier then some other people on this board in the sense that we went on other Disney trips with these people(before our DVC ownership) and they have a grasp on how much rooms are at Disney instead of people that dont know anything about it,or the people that think that since you already own DVC,you pay nothing for it.

 

[pmcpmc]

We bought another house at the beach at home and family and friends are free to fight it out over that,while we enjoy our immediate family vacation.

 

[ditzy]

---people that think that since you already own DVC, you pay nothing for it.

This always amazes me. It's as if you bought a car but you didn't have to fill it with gas or maintain it!