OT- Mom's walk of shame...Anyone?

[scottsod]

oh Hun i do the walk of shame on a daily basis!!!!

just yesterday me, DH, ds 9 (who has autism and CP), ds 2 1/2 (who has apraxia, ADHD and something else we are just not sure yet), ds 17 months planned a nice day to our local science museum but first we were going to breakfast. well by the time breakfast was over i was almost in tears. I had to leave with the 2 little ones and sit in the car while my oldest and DH finish eating. then i had him drive us home and go to the museum with just DS 9. I don't know what to do when they do this other then just go about what we are doing and forget anyone who looks at us like we are crazy, which we are.

but when someone does say something nasty about how my kids are acting, i reply in a true NJ/NY fashion!!!! ;'.

 

[musicmama]

DD-15 had a couple of walks as a "youngster" - one with me and one with both DH and me.

My single one was on Mother's Day while we were dining with my in-laws. My MIL, may she rest in peace, never approved of me and got ever more disapproving when I would try to correct DD. (DH is an only child and from his stories, all his parents ever did was correct him, so I never understood why she couldn't handle DD being corrected.) DD had a hissy over having to eat the meal she specifically requested - to this day, I don't recall what it was, but it had to be made specially as she didn't want anything on the kids menu and MIL and FIL were somewhat regulars there - so, after 2 specific warnings, I picked her up and took her out to the car. DH was not happy and MIL was practically having hysterics that I was ruining her Mother's Day by "mistreating my granddaughter". (gee, did she ever think that it was my mother's day also?) It really hurt having to carry her kicking and screaming and then try to open the car door. However, she was so surprised that I took her out, that she calmed down and ate her meal when we returned. She never misbehaved in a restaurant again.

The double one was at the Philly zoo on a hot summer day. I've posted this elsewhere - suffice it to say that DD and DH ended up at the local police station because DH's keys were left in my car while I went to work. The original walk of shame was through the entire zoo, because we had been at the back and the exit was at the front. The police were very very nice and the visit had nothing to do with DH getting in trouble, but because they needed to call me to come back and give DH his keys. The police were also very nice to DD, but she did get to see somebody else brought in with handcuffs on (DH was a little worried but police made sure they were in no danger) and it did make an impression on her.

However, the teen years do seem to be a new challenge. And that's all I'm prepared to say. She's a good kid generally, but there's room for improvement!

 

[Val]

DS12 made my three girls, DD20, DD16 and DD10 look like angels (and they are NOT). While I carried him kicking and screaming from many, many places, his most famous was in Epcot when he was 3 1/2.....he got mad in China over not getting a toy and began to tantrum. After the 3 count, we went home to our BWV....he screamed, kicked and twisted in the double stroller (with his "angelic" baby sister, 1 1/2 next to him waving at the people staring) from China to the International Gateway, over the bridge,through BWV lobby and all the way to our room. At that point he (and DD and I) fell asleep and he was fine the rest of the trip. He still remembers that walk of shame!

In general, at almost 13 he is better. No longer outward tantrums, now just sullen and sassy. I have to admit he is pretty funny sassing back because his voice is changing and I never know whether I will get the soprano or bass sassying....but we still leave if necessary!

 

[AuroraBeauty]

but when someone does say something nasty about how my kids are acting, i reply in a true NJ/NY fashion!!!! ;'.

DD was about 3 and we were at the local Super discount store and DD decided she wasn't going to get in the wagon and then hit me. So I tell her she's going to time out and she starts in on a major fit. I struggle to get her out of the wagon and take her to the closest wall and have her face it for her 3-minute time out. She's been back talking all morning and I finally had it and we were in a place that a time-out would be safe and likely effective.

Not a moment after I have DD standing facing the wall and DD is finally calming down I have some total stranger woman come up to me and tell me I need to cut DD some slack because she's just a baby. To which I say "Oh, and you're going to cut her some slack when she's robbing your house when she's 16, right?". This woman gave me the dirtiest look and stomped away and reported me to security. Security came over and didn't do anything -- seriously, DD was facing a wall.

I realize there isn't a correlation between a melt down at 3 to leading a life of crime but I was so angry. How dare this woman come up to me and basically tell me not to use basic discipline with a 3 year old. I don't think a public time out is outrageous.

These days you do have to be careful how you handle situations and kids learn early how to push the buttons. But we've all been there -- Mommy walk of Shame -- but we've been there because we LOVE our children.

 

[Zeebs]

I wasn't going to post this after reading Shagleys post but what the hey....

I (yes the mother who should know better) was having a melt down the other day, (I was tired, been up a lot in the night) couldn't find the kids hats, Cullen had gotten sissors I had put away and was trying to cut a hole in his t-shirt, so he was screaming on the naughty step, Seth (baby) was screaming because Cullen was screaming. I was screaming about the state of the house, that the kids were screaming at me etc etc etc....

Person delivering leaflets through the front door, heard and called police, thought I was in distress. Yah think just not in the way that needed the police a cleaner maybe..

We went out to the butcher, was going to walk but couldn't find hats, which is what started it so we drove, was only gone 10 mins max, arrived home to find house wide open, ladder up over top of garage and two policemen in house looking for me.

So embarrassed, just burst into tears, poor police said not to worry it happens, house wasn't that bad, they see some really bad ones. Then they offered Cullen a chance to sit in police car and put siren on.....

I am thinking great all those that didn't see Police car outside my house will now here it. Luckily he wasn't having any of it and just stuck to my legs.

Lady across the road bless her said to me I told them they had the wrong house. I had to admit no they didn't.

Moral of story, make sure nobody is delivering anything when YOU have a melt down.

I have one of these melt downs every 6 weeks or so, good for you if you don't ever have them but please no hard time over the fact that I could have dealt with things differently, do you not think I am beating myself up enough over it.

Kirsten

 

[mom2aredhead]

When it was time to go she never wanted to leave and I would have to carry her out of there, like a sack of potatoes under my arm

This is exactly what I had to do with my son yesterday at the pool!

The weather was cloudy yesterday, but finally cleared up around 2:30, so we went to the pool. Normally when we go, it's much earlier and we spend more time. I told him before we went, on the walk there, and while we were there that we were not going to be able to stay as long as we usually do, and when I say it's time to go, I didn't want to hear any fighting. Especially since I really didn't want to go to begin with.

So later I told him we were leaving in a few minutes and got "noooooo, we just got here". I said we would practice jumping in 5 more times, then it would be time to leave, he said no, 100 more. So when it was time to go, I had to scoop his slippery wet little bottom up and carry him, yelling "noooo" all the way to the gate, where of course I had to STOP to get my passes back so everybody could get a good look at us...and it continued about 1/2 way up the block.

 

[HerdOHuds]

One time, in the local mall, I had the kids playing on the coin operated rides. I knew it was time to round them up. I knew it would be a hassle. They were around 2 at the time and we were trying limited outings locally to get them used to leaving without a fuss. There was a meltdown, by just one little guy-thank goodness-and we left immediately. The security guard came out to the parking lot and told me that I had handled it the best way possible! (My mom was there 'helping' and making things much worse by saying, "Oh, can't we stay a little longer??!!")

Now when I start into my spiel about what will and will not happen when we go out in public the kids all announce the list of rules from the back of the van!

"Listen to Mommy!"

"Don't throw a fit!"

"No fussing!"

"No crying!"

"Do what Mommy says!!!"

Warms my heart!!!

 

[brandylouwho]

Oh I would be one of those giving you sympathetic looks (and at the same time telling my own kids that it is none of our beeswax why that kid is crying)...

Our worst experience was last December at Target, a stop we planned purposely so that DD4 could spend her gift card she had received for her birthday the week prior. It was too much (Christmas time, crowds, abundance of toys and only $25 to spend).

So I carried her screaming and kicking out of the store (without getting to spend her $) while dad and little sister finished shopping. Except, dad had the car keys and wasn't hearing his phone ringing. So, since it was winter in WI, we sat near the entrance/exit doors. I think it was a good 10 minutes before DD stopped the hissy fit. I had no where to hide, but hide is exactly what I wanted to do.

She occassionally has melt downs, but that was the only big one I recall being in public (thank goodness). Unfortunately the 1 year year old little sister recently started to have little baby tantrums.

 

[pigletto]

So I am at the mall with my DD5 and DD3 trying to get a little shopping done. The girls were acting up, but not to much. I gave them a couple of warnings about their behavior. My last warning I made the threat to leave the mall if they did not behave. I finally reached my limit when the 5yo pushed the 3yo into a kiosk.

I took their hands and announced "that's it, we are going home"

I guess you can imagine what followed...My 5yo took a major fit. Something of which I have never seen before. I can count the times she has had a meltdown on one hand. I was totally shocked I mean she really lost it.

Of course I was deep into the mall and really far from my car and I had to do the "walk of shame" through the mall with my DD screaming that she didn't want to go, let go of me, etc. She even started hitting my arm.

I kept walking, and finally made it outside. While walking to the car, the police actually followed me I don't know if this was just perfect timing or someone in the mall thought I was abducting a child Come to think of it...my children look nothing like me

Anyway, once at the car, I thought I would ask him if he wouldn't mind scaring the bajeezers out of my kids by coming over to the car and telling my DD never to push her sister and to listen to her mother BUT- I didn't!!! He just drove away.

Has anyone had to do the walk of shame recently. I couldn't help but notice the looks on the people's faces. Some had faces of sympathy, like a been there done that or a glad it is your kid and not mine. (this time) However, some people looked truly horrified!

Raise your hand if you've walked the Mommy Walk of Shame!!!!

Hand raised high in the air here
And hubby would raise his hand as well. With dd it was never really necessary. But ds is a a completely different story. He will push and push and push until you either follow through with the threat or resign yourself to being walked on for the rest of your life.
It was a hard road though. I had to learn that it was well worth the embarrassment of a screaming child in public if it meant that next time he would know I was serious.

 

[Erin13178]

My last walk of shame was out of the local park. DD (almost 4) was overly tired and it was time to go. Well she wanted to go with Mamaw and Papaw. It wasn't a night she could go with them, so she had a meltdown, that then progressed into a meltdown about not getting to kiss Papaw cause she was kicking and screaming so badly. Then on the way home she was flailing around in the backseat and kicking horrible. Kicking me, the console, screaming like a banshee, etc. I'd had enough so in a church parking lot I pulled over and smacked her butt one good time. We then continued home where the fit continued. I ignored her, she followed me around. She then went to timeout where she stayed until she calmed down a bit. About 5 minutes later all of a sudden she remembered she didn't kiss Papaw and it started all over again. This all began around 8:30, and finally at 11pm I got in the shower and she was laying in bed still screaming. I guess the 15 minutes apart did us both good cause when I got out of the shower it was almost like nothing had ever happened.

And yes, that was the worst fit to date she's ever thrown.

 

[annie34]

Me too!!

I have to laugh / sympathize with all these posts! My DS and DD are 20 months apart. Boy, have I had my times

Just a couple of weekends ago at the zoo. We seem to have this ongoing problem with whining about who is pushing who in the stroller (I want daddy to push me, I want mommy to push me, no it's mommy's turn, no it's daddy's turn). Well, we finally had enough of that!!

We picked a day we had nothing going on. Told them we were going to the zoo and let them know even before we left the house that it doesn't matter who is pushing who in the stroller. We were going to take turns and we don't want to hear any complaining. That is that! Well, knowing full well this would happen, we were there for about 1/2 hour when the complaining started. We didn't even give them a warning- we said 'that's it- we said no whining about who was pushing who- we're going back home'.

Let me tell you what. We were both doing the walk of shame pushing two crying kids out of the zoo.

We are soooo glad we did that! This past Sunday, we went back to the zoo, and guess what- no whining

 

[Micka Mouse]

This is great! We all usually feel alone when this sort of thing happens, but in reality, no one is immune to the walk of shame !

We were supposed to take our 2009 trip in 2007. However, my youngest made me change those reservations about 10 mos before we were to leave. We went overnight to Sesame Place, and she was unbearable. The thought of taking her to Disney, behaving like that, scared the daylights out of me !!!!!!!!!

Now when i see it i think "what have those kids done to that poor woman?". LOL.

Wow, after reading this thread it's totally making me realize I'm NOT ready for my 2nd child! I think I'll stick with one for now cause it seems a heck of a lot harder with 2+!

Thanks for the birth control!!

Dh and I joke that if dd3 was our first, she would have also been our last !

I chuckled reading these and I am sorry to say that, while this will pass, the teenage years seem to make you long for the days you could scoop them up and leave. Hang tough!

Seriously??? Noooooooo!

 

[policycobb]

Can't count how many times from Wal-Mart I have carried my 3 yr old out kicking and screaming, "You're hurting me!". Saturday we attended a wedding and she behaved so well at the ceremony and then came the reception. I left there dragging her out screaming, "I didn't get any cake!" Embarrassing!

 

[Stephres]

This is exactly what I had to do with my son yesterday at the pool!

The weather was cloudy yesterday, but finally cleared up around 2:30, so we went to the pool. Normally when we go, it's much earlier and we spend more time. I told him before we went, on the walk there, and while we were there that we were not going to be able to stay as long as we usually do, and when I say it's time to go, I didn't want to hear any fighting. Especially since I really didn't want to go to begin with.

So later I told him we were leaving in a few minutes and got "noooooo, we just got here". I said we would practice jumping in 5 more times, then it would be time to leave, he said no, 100 more. So when it was time to go, I had to scoop his slippery wet little bottom up and carry him, yelling "noooo" all the way to the gate, where of course I had to STOP to get my passes back so everybody could get a good look at us...and it continued about 1/2 way up the block.

Awww! At lease mine wasn't slippery! At least he knows you mean business!

Dh and I joke that if dd3 was our first, she would have also been our last !

We have that same joke; if I had my daughter first she would have been an only child!

 

[maedelken]

Been there so many times its hard to single out just one horrific experience. I have four starting at 6, 4, 2, 6months. DD4 is our spirited child when she loses it watch out! It is all down hill from there. The other three feed off of her and it is a mess. I have to travel with all four. My husband works a lot and parents work too. I see the looks people think I am crazy for having four children out with me. (or I'm crazy for having four kids) Fits well I don't notice the looks anymore whatever. If people have a problem they are more than welcome to take my four children for awhile and see if they survive. DO I ever loose it sure sometimes. This thread is great I love reading other stories I can relate.

One time at Target my DH and I split up divide and conquer. I tookDD6 and DH took DD4 and DS2. I was still prego with the fourth. Well we could hear I hate you and screaming from across the store. We both turned to each other we knew who it was. My husband dragged her from the store. It was bad the poor people in Target.

My son likes to not walk so I am forced to drag him by the arm or carry him under my arm while carrying the baby carrier. Or all four will spat and fight with each other in a store. We exit as quickly as possible. Don't feel bad watch Jon and Kate plus eight and remember someone else's house is always crazier. I started watching that show because I wanted to see a household more chaotic then mine. I can't complain for the most part they are well behaved....but when they are bad they sure are bad!

 

[DevilDuckie]

If it makes you feel better, most of those people were happy to see you doing the responsible thing and taking misbehaving children away. Kudos to you for being a good mom.

 

[Micka Mouse]

Don't feel bad watch Jon and Kate plus eight and remember someone else's house is always crazier. I started watching that show because I wanted to see a household more chaotic then mine. I can't complain for the most part they are well behaved....but when they are bad they sure are bad!

I second this!!!!!!! I DVR Super Nanny ALL the time. When I've had a really bad day, I'll watch it and it always makes me feel better ! DD3 gets so crazy sometimes, dd6 will say, "gotta call super nanny" !!!!!

 

[RetroMom]

I'm smiling reading all these. I'm single with 4 sons, with a wide range of ages as you can see from my signature. Not so much these days, but nothing like trying to shop when you have a sullen teenager (2nd son) and a screaming toddler (4th) in a store at the same time. I've threatened to put them in the car and leave them together while I shop in peace! And bless him, my normally pretty calm 3rd son figured out early that if he didn't want to be where we were, then throw a fit and mom would take him out at some point. I had to change tactics with him. We would leave but we would all just sit there in the parking lot. It took a couple of times and several back and forth, in/out of the car situations until he figured out that yes, we would leave, but no, he was not going to enjoy it and we would go back in. It would drive me nuts with the wasted time, but he had to learn that he had to be with me, errands were necessary, and might as well get it over. I have thrown all of them over my shoulder or done the football tuck at some point.The best part is, no matter how frustrated I feel or have felt, I have had many, many people tell me how polite and well mannered all four of my sons are. So hold your head high while you walk that walk!!

 

[Brer Shay]

Been there, done that, don't need any more TShirts.

Way to go for following through on your promise to leave. That gets you huge points from most of those who were watching and hopefully helps avoid future troubles.

As PP said, they can smell the fear.

 

[twooley2]

Ive done the walk of shame many times with three girls. Now I get to do the walk of pride my oldest is 18 and leaves for the military Sunday. So just think of it as the more walks of shame you do the closer to the walk of pride you get.