OT-Mature 4 year old?

[ChrisAlli]

Last week we had my ds pre-school conference. He's doing very well, smart, knows all his numbers, letters, colors shapes, stuff like that. One thing that came up was he's at little "young for his age". He talks a lot (I know this, trust me) doesn't like to color, doesn't like to write his name, doesn't hold a pencil right. Some work needed on fine motor skills. I know we need to work on those, but he really doesn't like art stuff, he just wants to play. If you ask what was his favorite in school today he always will say playtime.

The concern is, he starts school next year and will he be able to do it or should he go to pre-K first. I'm not opposed to pre-K, but would hate to see him not start school with his friends.

So any suggestions on how to improve focus and fine motor skills. And is this normal? I always say he's just 4. Plus we have a nephew who is 14 and was the same way when he was little. He's now in all honors classes and still lacks focus.

Sorry so long

 

[pigget74]

Very normal. Let him go to K with his friends. When is his birthday?

 

[princessjv]

How 4 is he, would be my question? What you will need to look at this summer is, can he focus on direction, color, write letters (with help), cut with a scissors. Kindergarten is no longer full of playing, they are really working hard! Has he had his Kindergarten screening (if your state requires)? How did he score? Will he go to full day K or part day?

Remember, that a lot is learned in 9 months. He may not be ready today, but Sept. he may!

 

[daisyduck123]

Hi!

I'm a 1st grade teacher. IMO, at this time in the school year, it is too early to decide if a child is not ready for Kindergarten next year.

BTW, I have a DS8 in 3rd grade....he hates to color, write, & draw also, but STILL got all As & Bs on this past report card (and they also marked him "above grade level" in reading). I'm betting your DS will be just fine!!

 

[DisneyfamilyinMI]

Last week we had my ds pre-school conference. He's doing very well, smart, knows all his numbers, letters, colors shapes, stuff like that. One thing that came up was he's at little "young for his age". He talks a lot (I know this, trust me) doesn't like to color, doesn't like to write his name, doesn't hold a pencil right. Some work needed on fine motor skills. I know we need to work on those, but he really doesn't like art stuff, he just wants to play. If you ask what was his favorite in school today he always will say playtime.

Hi! My son is the same way! He is 4 (born in mid-July) and in preschool at our city's K-12 school as well. He has known all the numbers/letters/shapes/etc. for ages but isn't a big fan of coloring or holding pencils the right way either. Was your son born prematurely? My son was born 7 weeks early and I always wondered if it affected him more that I thought. He has often had fine motor skill problems as well. Since he's started school, they've been doing art projects almost every day and he gets a lot more practice. Something we did was have our son color a picture and then write his name on the bottom, so he got to practice both of those. Then we hung it up in the hallway going upstairs to our bedrooms. He has made several pictures and is very proud of them.

We also had to re-teach him how to write his name---he learned it in all caps over the summer but his preschool teacher wants a capital letter first, and then lowercase letters, so I think he's been getting frustrated about that.

Anyway, I think asking him to draw you a picture of something special, maybe something holiday themed with the holidays coming up and hanging it up somewhere prominent in the house will help.

---Stephanie

 

[mtemm]

was just at a b-day party for a friend of my sons (all age 4). we moms got to talking and started laughing because all of us are getting the same talk from the preschool teachers. My son taught himself to read by the time he turned 4 (last feb), is well above age level on many skills and such, but because he doesn't like singing and could care less about coloring, his teachers thought he was "young."

Now, he may not care for coloring, but he can write letters and numbers and even some words, can trace things, can do word searches and such. He just seems to have other fish to fry and isn't very arty.

 

[ChrisAlli]

He'll be 5 in March. I have talked to another mother whose son is in the same class and her son is the same way.

He follows directions, is very articulate (sp) and is very social.

Just has all those "Boy" traits. I do believe they test them before he starts school, I just don't know what they expect. He'll be my first in the school system. We only have half day right now, so the same amount of time as preschool. I think he'll be fine, just worry, you know?

 

[MSSANDRA]

Four year old children can be so different. Asking when his b-day is gives a clue to what might be going on. Little boys tend to mature differently than girls. Many of the the things that you describe are very typical little boy but they seem to be more exagerated in late birthday boys. While I agree that it is to early to make a decision as to where he should go next year, it is not too early to start thinking about what is best for him. Most of your better preschool start registration for next year as early as January and if you may choose to hold him back you will certainly want a place in a good preschool program. You can always change your mind later and just be out the registration fee.
I am a huge fan of holding back preschool age children that show any signs that they might have a some maturity issues. It has NOTHING to go with how smart a child is. My DS was reading in preschool but he was NOT ready to go to kindergarten. He had poor small motor skills, was very small and not yet ready to be away from home all day. I have advised MANY parents of summer and fall birthday children to wait another year to send them to school and have NEVER had one parent regret the desicion. I have had MANY that did not hold the child back and so wished they had. At four they have no idea where they are suppose to go to school and waiting a year will mean nothing. However, many of these young 4's that start kindergarten do ok in kindergartn but just fall behind in 1st or 2nd grade. Repeaeting then is a major socail issue.

AS for the small motor skill acvtivities, play dough is great. Give him a pair of Children's scissors and let him cut rolled playdough. Lots of manipulative toys such as legos are great too. Finger painting is good and a lot more fun than coloring. Try leaving lots of open ended art supplies out so he can explore them at will.

The big problem is that kindergarten is not very developmentaly friendly to young boys. They are expected to spend so much time at a desk and the writting requirments are unreal. Our schools at least ,have a very intense program that is so unfriendly to the younger children.

Talk to his teacher and get her view. Watch him play with his classmates and see how he interacts and relates to them. Then try not to worry. I held my June (though very premature ) son back a year and he is a straight A honor student in 8th grade. I truly do not think he would have done so well with out that extra year.

MsSandra

 

[susykt4]

Can give no advice on whether to hold back or not, but as far as the sending him to school with his friends thing, I wouldn't dwell on it. DD6 had several great Pre-K friends (when she was 4.) She ended up at a different public school than most of them. About 6 months after she "graduated" from the old school (when in K) she was in a tumbling class with her absolute, inseparable best friend from Pre-K. Her mom and I were all excited until we realized the girls barely remembered each other! They did get friendly again, but barely remember each other if we bump into the other family. The same goes for ALL her other pre-K friends. No big deal.

 

[Dina]

My son was young for his age. He turned 5 at the very end of August (5 days before the cut off). I waited a year for kindergarten. Pre-k and Kindergarten are so different (kindergarten seems like first grade was for me). If you decide to do pre-k next year, I really wouldn't worry about it. I'd rather wait a year now, then hold back a year or two later-- then he'll notice. The only flack I received was from family members who thought I was wrong.

 

[Stephres]

I requested a conference with my daughter's preschool teachers because she was acting exactly like your son and I was concerned that she wouldn't be ready for kindergarten. They told me it's perfectly normal and that if she is still this way in January and February we could talk about it then. Since then (that was in September) she has gradually started to do more writing. So I wouldn't get really worried until then.

DS had fine motor skill problems in kindergarten and the teacher suggested play dough. She said it is excellent for developing fine motor skills and the kid thinks he playing. HTH!

 

[Luv Bunnies]

I agree that it's too early to decide about Kindergarten now. Many four year olds make huge leaps and he may look like a totally different kid in June. I would recommend that you keep working on his skills and see how he does.

Another thing I would recommend - find out when your school district does kindergarten registration. In our district, it starts in mid-February. If you don't register your child right away, there may not be space in the school you want. So, whether or not you have made your decision by the time registration starts, you many want to register him anyway. If you decide not to send him, just notify the district. If you do send him, you're more likely to get a space.

 

[belle&beast]

I agree that it is way too early to make a decision right now. My DD5 is in one last year of preschool which was the right choice for us- she has a summer birthday and made the kindergarten cutoff by a week. It is a very difficult decision, believe me I've been there. Please don't make a decision based upon his friends at the time. Children are pretty flexible and teachers are great at helping to establish new friendships in kindergarten. Lots of luck in your decision, you have to go with your instinct- try not to let other people sway you either way.

 

[mjantz]

Preschool teacher here. AFA helping with fine-motor skills I recommend:

-cutting playdough with kid scissors or safety knives (we've used plastic throw-away knives before)
-stringing beads or using a pegboard
-picking up cotton balls or other small objects with kitchen tongs
-turning pages in a book (board or not)
-stacking small cubes or blocks (not Legos but ones that don't 'click' together)

I personally wouldn't worry too much. He is just not interested in that right now. Lots of my boys would rather build with our blocks or put together our train track as opposed to coloring or painting.

And, sorry to get up on my soapbox but while your son may call it 'playtime', if done properly, it is a learning time. We pre-school teachers are sneaky about that learning thing!!

 

[kohlby]

I have a friend who used to teach pre-K. She told me of all the parents worried in May about their kids not being ready for Kindergarten in August. Most of the time it was the boys with the spring and summer birthdays. In just three months time, those kids did catch up to where they needed to be 99% of the time. So, I have to agree with the poster who said it's still very early.

On another side of things, I know a 4 year old who is lightyears ahead in most areas. He knew all his letter sounds way before 3! Yet he has trouble using scissors and doing other fine motor skills. The issue is that he's likely going to be a lefty. Has your son chosen his dominant hand yet?

 

[disneydancer1969]

relax. do what your doing now. like me most likely just one day this year it will click. trust me just have faith.

 

[MNdisneymom]

For fine motor skill work...I got my son a game at a local educational supply store (Lakeshore Learning here in MN)...It was a Feed the Dog game--it had tongs, and you had to pick up the bones with them and put them in the dog's mouth. Since my DS is the same way about writing and drawing as yours, it was nice to have a game that he thought was fun but still improved his skills. (gotta trick them into it somehow, right? )