OT...Kindergarten or not?

[1of6]

Has anyone had anything negative come from giving their child an extra year before starting Kindergarten?

DS4 will be 5 this August and has a major speech deficit. He has been in some type of therapy since 2yo. I know the best thing for him right now is to give him the extra year to develop before sending him to school full time. But I am looking for some insight as to any thing I might be in for down the road with him being the oldest in the class.

Any advice?

 

[AllyCatTapia]

this is kinda a joke- but he WILL be the first 18 year old in his senior class WATCH OUT!! hahah


No, actually, my girlfriend had the instinct to keep her youngish 5 year old out of kindergarten but was convinced otherwise. She put him in against her mommy instincts and regrets it.

 

[macmahony]

My oldest daughter turns 5 on Sept 19 (our cutoff is oct 1), so if she goes to kindy this year she will probably be the youngest. We have decided to keep her back a year, she also has an articulation problem. I have yet to talk to anyone who regrets holding the kid out of kindy an extra year, only people who have regrets about sending them to school. My concern is not kindy, I think she would do amazing in kindy, but it is the older grades I worry about. That year can make a huge difference in maturity, reasoning skills, decision making. Plus, with the articulation issue, it also gives her an extra year to catch up in that area as well. I also know the trend these days seems to be to keep kids back rather than to squeeze them in. In her playgroup we started with about 10 kids, all with birthdays in late august and September. I know of 2 moms who will be sending there kids next year from that group, everyone else has decided to hold the kids back another year.
Good luck, it was a hard decesion to make, but now that it has been made I am so happy and comfortable with that decesion!

 

[mytwotinks]

If you are having any doubts, I would probably hold off for a year. In our school district it is VERY common for parents to wait a year if their child will be really young, so if you were here it would be especially important to wait. The children who go really young here are at such a disadvantage when they get mixed in with those who's parents held them back a year. My DD has speech issues too and I know how their little spirit gets brocken when they feel like they can't get their point across to others. I think the extra year couldn't do anything but help!

 

[just.me]

The only real drawback I could forsee would be a size thing...
my kids are always the tallest in the class and I could not imagine if I had to keep one of them back a year! (thankfully my ds who has a speech delay is a November kiddo so it gave him all those extra months )

 

[powellrj]

trust me, he won't be the oldest. DS#1 made the cut-off date by 4 days, we didn't send him. I have never been sorry.

DS#2 made it by several months, but now we have a new problem. While he is not the youngest in his class, because he is taking AP and honors classes, he is the youngest in many of the classes he is taking. Its really hard when he is the only freshman in a class of mostly juniors and seniors. Some of his teachers have nicknamed him "oh innocent one".

There is no perfect answer to your question, but I don't think you will ever be sorry!

 

[momtomany]

I have a 6yo ( july birthday) 1st grader with verbal apraxia- (severe speech issue)

he attended public school since he was 3 yo in an intergrated classroom setting. accedemically he's always been at the top of the class.

I thoguht breifly about holding him back because of his speech issues, but I was too concerned about him ending up bored and misbehaving. plus my son is a big kid and would stand head and shoulders above the kids is he waited a year.


I personally would look at 2 years of kindergarten, before another year of preschool.
at least in kindergarten they are more exposed to the reading and writing skills they need to build on.
personally I think you need to look at a few things- prereading skills- does he know all his letters- upper and lower case? is he starting to recognize symbols like stop signs, and store signs like walmart? how high can he count?

how is he socially? this can be a big deal if he's way behind-

and size wise? his he little or big or average

do you think waiting will help him fit in better?


feel free to pm if you'd like to chat further

Beth

 

[1of6]

I think much of my problem is the cut-off date here in Michigan. It is Dec.1.

DS#1 is a mid Nov. birthday and I sent him to K at 4. He has always been the youngest in his class. He has also never had any trouble and gets very good grades. He is in 4th grade now.

DD#1 is a late Sept. baby and also went at 4. She is also the youngest in her 2nd. grade room this year. She had trouble in first grade but is all caught up now. The reading thing finally clicked!

In holding DS#2, he will turn 6 two weeks before K starts. I don't think it will be a big deal until high school. He will turn 18 and then start him senior year, while DS#1 will go off to college only 17 yo. Am I over analyzing the whole age thing?

 

[Longsx3]

Has anyone had anything negative come from giving their child an extra year before starting Kindergarten?

DS4 will be 5 this August and has a major speech deficit. He has been in some type of therapy since 2yo. I know the best thing for him right now is to give him the extra year to develop before sending him to school full time. But I am looking for some insight as to any thing I might be in for down the road with him being the oldest in the class.

Any advice?

I have 2 points of view, first as a Mom. DD(9) was in a Catholic preschool and I was very surprised in the spring when they suggested giving DD an extra yr. She was already reading at 4 and did fine socially, they based waiting on her Bday of August and her small stature (sp?) I took her two other local schools both of which said she was ready. Which I already knew. DD has done very well in school. I value a teachers input but in this case I knew what was best for DD. In 2nd grade they wanted to double promote her and we decided I against it.

I also happen to work as a full time substitute at the local high school and there is a fairly wide span of ages at each grade level and socially for the students it doesn't seem to be an issue. I have a couple kids that were double promoted they do fine...many more that waited a year and they do well also.

I say go with your gut, there is no harm in waiting a year and later if he is really ahead socially and academically you could always aks for a double promotion.

 

[Hannathy]

I doubt he will be the oldest. I held by DS back and am very glad I did, My nephew didn't start when he could and he did fine also was 18 the whole year.
My husband did start very young was always the youngest in his class and hated it. Did great academically but was slower to develop socially and physically compared to other boys remember this is important to kids.Not to mention driving.

One suggestion is what my friend did when she wasn't sure about her son. She sent him to private kindergarten at the suggestion of a school counselor. this way If he needed to repeat kind. she could sign him up at his home school and would just start with those kids and no one (kids) would be the wiser. Worked great and not much more than preschool.

 

[rt2dz]

Here the cut off date is must be 5 on or before Sept 1. Lots and lots of people with May-Sept 1 birthdays hold their kids back an extra year. I'm getting a lot flack because DS#3 has a Sept. 1 birthday and I'm not committing to a transition class. Keep in mind DS#3 is 5 months old right now. I figured he has plenty of time to develop and show readiness or the need for a transition class. If he is like DS#1, he's going. If he is like DS#2, he'll wait a year.

I just think that each child needs to be evaluated individually when the time comes. You have done that. You know your child would benefit waiting another year, so wait it out. Your child won't be the oldest.

As far as being the youngest, well, somebody has to be and if a child is otherwise completely ready, send 'em. When it comes to size & sports, they start evening out in high school so that isn't a big deal and being larger does not mean being better. As far as maturity goes, my brother was the youngest (actually started kindergarten at 4) and maturity wise was way ahead of the kids in his class.

 

[SunshineOR]

Two experiences with it--my younger brother was held back a year before starting and loved it! He was an athlete and was taller and more physically developed along the way and better able to excel all the way through.

We held back our dd and didn't start her in kindergarten until she was six because we knew she wasn't emotionally ready. She's in first grade now and we've been so glad because she's had a really positive experience and is doing great. She's the tallest in her class, but she's not bothered a bit by it and she's not a freakish giant or anything! I've talked to a lot of parents, and it seems like some of them who put kids in early regretted it, but those who waited felt it was a good choice or at least didn't hurt and were happy. We felt we really couldn't go wrong by delaying her a year and we'd prefer to hold her back then rather than rush her in and have to hold her back a year later when the social stigma could have really been a negative experience for her. Good luck!

 

[disney-super-mom]

Has anyone had anything negative come from giving their child an extra year before starting Kindergarten?

DS4 will be 5 this August and has a major speech deficit. He has been in some type of therapy since 2yo. I know the best thing for him right now is to give him the extra year to develop before sending him to school full time. But I am looking for some insight as to any thing I might be in for down the road with him being the oldest in the class.

Any advice?

I was in the same boat as you 2 years ago, and my son had the same problem (speech and language disorder).

I did start him in kindergarten, and he did great - BUT - I wished I had him repeat another year of kindergarten before going on to the first grade. I think being in school and talking to the other kids, and listening to how his classmates talk, has been invaluable for my son to make such awesome progress with his speech. However, I wanted him to repeat kindergarten another year, whereas the school did not, and so he was sent on to the first grade. It seems to me though, that he is a year behind his classmates in speech and even maturity, so I regret not sticking with my gut feeling and insisting that he repeat kindergarten. At the end of this year I'll have to make the decision of whether he should repeat first grade, which I really think he should.

I wouldn't worry too much about your son's age considering his birthday is so late in the year. If you decide to keep your son out of kindergarten another year, or to repeat kindergarten if you decide to enroll him this year, he'll have friends who will turn six right after him in September and October, so there really won't be much of an age difference.

Do what your gut instict tells you to do.

 

[disney-super-mom]

we'd prefer to hold her back then rather than rush her in and have to hold her back a year later when the social stigma could have really been a negative experience for her. Good luck!

I agree with this. The negative social stigma is the one and only reason that I may not hold my son back to repeat the first grade. Kids can be cruel, and I know that my son would get a lot of flack from his classmates for being held back in the first grade, so I now feel we're between a rock and a hard place.

 

[welovedis]

I'd say like most here, that you need to go with your gut. In addition to that, what are the therapists thinking about the situation? They know your son better than we do and could offer their input and advice as I'm sure it isn't the 1st time they've encountered this type of question from a parent.

I would disagree with the suggestion to repeat kindergarten based on the experiences of several children in my son's school. In our district, if you do not move on to 1st grade, you go to pre-1st and the children that have done that are usually sent to another elem school in the district-that is hard. Secondly, they spent a year with the kids in kindy, then go to pre-first, then back to the original school & see their friends from kindy going into second while they are going into 1st. I know some of their parents pretty well and they said that they wished they just kept their children in preschool.

I would say that the determination would lie in the quality of the preschool available for the 2nd year and the therapist's recommendation. Does he have an IEP or equivalent?

 

[Twingle]

We struggled with this very decision two years ago! Our school district is 5 years old by October 1, and DS b-day is September 21. My son does not have speech/development issues, but he is very quiet. Also, we totally upended his world by having twin daughters six days after he turned four!

Everyone, his teachers, our doctor, grandparents, etc., was telling us to go ahead and send him to Kindergarden because he was going to be five, and I just wasn't comfortable with it. So, I had him have an extra year of preschool. So far, it has just been the best decision. He is in advanced reading and math classes, and is doing very, very well. He is one of the oldest in the class, and absolutely towers over the other children, but this really works to his advantage. Most of the other children look up to him because he can help them with their work, and the few brats in his class that are rough with the other kids leave him alone because he is older and bigger.

I've found plenty of parents that say waiting the extra year was the best decision they've ever made, just like I've heard from plenty of parents that say they wish they had given their child the extra year.

A hard decision, I know, good luck!

 

[GillieRose]

When my son is ready for Kindergarten he will be 4 turning 5 on Sept 9 the cut off is Sept 30. Every teacher I have talked to say hold him back till he is 5 turning 6. They believe the cut off should be in July. I still have not decided what we will do. But I'm leaning towards keeping him back till he is 5 going on 6.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

While my brother and sister did not delay start--they did repeat Kindergarten....and it did make a huge difference in how they fared academically.

Everyone that I know--it has worked out well. There are rumblings that some are doing it on purpose (so their kid will have an advantage)--but most I know do it for legitimate reasons (maturity, LD, attention span (non-ADD or ADHD)).

My brother graduated when he was 19--never held back except in Kindergarten and he never once had any issues with it. (He turned 18 Junior year!)

 

[staci]

This is a very personal decision but I will share my experiences.

My brother waited to start kindergarden in the 1980s. We actually have alternative k. here which he went to. Mom did it because of a late summer birthday and becuase he was very small for his age, and was sick a lot as a young child.

He flourished being one of the bigger kids. Size wise he was about even with his new class, and academically he was way ahead. He was valedictorian (big class of 400) and now is planning which law school to attend. He is very reserved and shy, but confident in his abilities in school.

DH was a late summer birthday but they sent him. He was always much smaller than most of the other boys in his class (small class of 35) and had a hard time both with sports participation and academics. I think an extra year in a preschool or a.k. setting would have been wonderful for him. He is very reserved as well, but seems unconfident in many things even today, as success was never something that came easy for him.

I know that all students are different, but I am very grateful that my ds missed the cutoff by about 3 wks, so he will be one of the older members of his class, instead of younger.

I would have a hard time sending a 4 year old to kindergarden, it just seems so young. Around here our cutoff is mid sept.

I HTH.

 

[Pinnie]

I think much of my problem is the cut-off date here in Michigan. It is Dec.1.

DS#1 is a mid Nov. birthday and I sent him to K at 4. He has always been the youngest in his class. He has also never had any trouble and gets very good grades. He is in 4th grade now.

DD#1 is a late Sept. baby and also went at 4. She is also the youngest in her 2nd. grade room this year. She had trouble in first grade but is all caught up now. The reading thing finally clicked!

In holding DS#2, he will turn 6 two weeks before K starts. I don't think it will be a big deal until high school. He will turn 18 and then start him senior year, while DS#1 will go off to college only 17 yo. Am I over analyzing the whole age thing?

To the OP, look at it this way. If you were living in another state with a cut off of Sept. 1, you wouldn't be having this problem because he wouldn't be able to go to school anyway because of when his birthday falls.

MI is way behind the times in sending 4 yr olds to Kindergarten, especially in light of the new AYP and NCLB standards. Our district, in a suburb or Detroit, has a Young 5s program. We also have switched over to a literacy based K program. I know becaue I teach Young 5s and I have had many a K teacher's child in my class! MI is looking to move the start day down to Sept. 1 over the span of a couple of years, but I doubt it will be happening anytime soon.

Check in your area to see if any surrounding districts have a Young 5s program and see if they will accept you child with a waver from your superintendant. Our district does. We have 148 Young 5s in our program this year alone!

PM me if you need more details.

pinnie