OT - Kindergarten for my 4 yo this September

[J3nn78]

To the question about preschool- you can almost ALWAYS tell the difference in who went to preschool and who did not. But that generally levels itself out within the first year or two.

And to the above poster... What is best for my child is most important to ME. I would NEVER express that my child is better or more important than anyone else to him or to his class mates.

I do not believe that you would make educational sacrifices for your child because it might not be the best situation for everyone.

We are not creating cookie cutter kids. Kids will enter and exit school with different abilities, regardless of the age they started and the equal opportunities given.

I understand that 18 months can be a BIG difference in age. But is it really much more different than the already 12 month difference that occurs at ANY grade level because of the cutoff?

 

[brymolmom]

To the question about preschool- you can almost ALWAYS tell the difference in who went to preschool and who did not. But that generally levels itself out within the first year or two.

And to the above poster... What is best for my child is most important to ME. I would NEVER express that my child is better or more important than anyone else to him or to his class mates.

I do not believe that you would make educational sacrifices for your child because it might not be the best situation for everyone.

We are not creating cookie cutter kids. Kids will enter and exit school with different abilities, regardless of the age they started and the equal opportunities given.

I understand that 18 months can be a BIG difference in age. But is it really much more different than the already 12 month difference that occurs at ANY grade level because of the cutoff?

At ages 4 and 6.....YES, it is too big a difference in age. Yes, the 'natural' 12 months is large too at that age - but when you let it happen naturally, it only ends up being a couple of kids (statistically) that are at either end. It's when it is not natural that it ends up being too many on one end to be able to offset it easily. Too many people are doing it and causing too large a gap that would never happen otherwise. So now you have MORE than a couple kids on the older end and still those same couple of kids on the younger end - it is now something that those younger ones need to overcome, which is not fair to them or the teacher. That is the problem. NOT the couple of extra months.

And no way do I think that other parents should (necessarily) consider what is best for MY child, that's for me to do. But it is for the regulations to conform to make sure that each child in that classroom gets a fair shake and for the teachers to have a reasonable teaching expectations (ie: NOT teaching more than one grade level to one class of kids) - so THIS is who I expect to fix things - not other parents. When the regulations are changed so that 5 year olds are in K and 6 year olds are in 1st (or, 6 year olds in K , 7 year olds in 1st - I really don't care as long as it's fair and even). And, yes, I have heard of some districts doing this already where 6 year olds are put in 1st grade regardless of whether they've gone to K or not. Still other districts are handling it another way - by putting age restricions on high school sports. So certain cutoff ages (that correspond with the K cutoff ages) aren't allowed to play the sport anymore. Similar to Little Leage and the fact that older kids aren't ALLOWED to play after a certain age. Anyway- this apparently at least makes some parents think twice about when to start them. So it IS starting to happen in places...I can just stand on my soap box and attend school board meetings on the subject and HOPE that the regulations hurry up to fix the problem.

I've asked in other posts here...Could someone who believes whole-heartedly in redshirting (holding back) please answer this: Since your child will obviously know way more (perhaps even the whole K year curriculum depending) than 4 year olds in his/her class, will you be content that your child is learning OTHER things in that classroom? Is that still BEST for your child? Or do you think that your child should be offered more challenging material (OK let's think 1st grade instead of K)? Don't you think that it was by your choice that your child was not challenged in the first place and that if you truly wanted it you could have had it? So why should the other kids and teachers pay for that choice that you made?

 

[princessmom29]

To the question about preschool- you can almost ALWAYS tell the difference in who went to preschool and who did not. But that generally levels itself out within the first year or two.

And to the above poster... What is best for my child is most important to ME. I would NEVER express that my child is better or more important than anyone else to him or to his class mates.

I do not believe that you would make educational sacrifices for your child because it might not be the best situation for everyone.

We are not creating cookie cutter kids. Kids will enter and exit school with different abilities, regardless of the age they started and the equal opportunities given.

I understand that 18 months can be a BIG difference in age. But is it really much more different than the already 12 month difference that occurs at ANY grade level because of the cutoff?

Believe what you will. It doesn't change the facts. MY DD should have been in K last year if I based my decision solely on what was best for her. She was academically and socially ready for K. SHe would have been 4 for the first 2 1/2 months of K and the school expressed concern, not over her ability to function, but the potential effect on other children in the class, and settng a precedent that could be used by other parents to push in obviously not ready children, so we waited to send her. I didn't want to, but it was what was best for EVERYONE in the situation not just my kid. I think we all have a responsibility to consider how our actions effect others. Even when it makes things more difficult for us. The right thing to do is not always the easy thing. Just because you wouldn't tell anyone that your kid comes first doesn't mean that your actions don't convey that or that your quest to make sure you kid comes first is not hurting other children.

There is an age difference that already exists in K. I don't think it is fair to allow a parent to extend that age difference just because they think it will give little Jimmy an edge. Little Jimmy is not theonly child in K. It is not fair to the other children in that classroom, and as more and more people chose to do it the children whose parents did the right thing by placing them according to the rules become at grater and greater disadvantage. Age cutoffs are in place at least in part to create as level a playing field as possible. Everyone does come in with different abilities, but when you hold a child back you are purposely placing them at the top of that ability range and set the bar higher and higher for other children who should not be expected to keep up with a child 18 months older than them. You skew the playing field every time a child is held back because mommy and daddy want their precious darling to be the best, no matter what it costs other children. This is not the message I want to be sending my kid.

 

[lexmas]

I've asked in other posts here...Could someone who believes whole-heartedly in redshirting (holding back) please answer this: Since your child will obviously know way more (perhaps even the whole K year curriculum depending) than 4 year olds in his/her class, will you be content that your child is learning OTHER things in that classroom? Is that still BEST for your child? Or do you think that your child should be offered more challenging material (OK let's think 1st grade instead of K)? Don't you think that it was by your choice that your child was not challenged in the first place and that if you truly wanted it you could have had it? So why should the other kids and teachers pay for that choice that you made?

I'll answer you.

I will be "red-shirting", DS was a preemie and due 20 days after the cut off, but was born 10 days before. For me, yes, I will be very happy with DS learning other things. I actually will be very happy if he knows everything they teach in kindergarten going in so that he can spend kindergarten learning how to make friends and follow rules and play nicely, and he can adjust to being in school 5 days a week, 7 hours a day. That's what kindergarten was for me when I went to school, and that's what I feel is best for him.

Other parents may feel differently, and they can make their decisions based on that.

FWIW, I wasn't "red-shirted" (not even close. May birthday, Dec 1st cut off) and after kindergarten screening they told my mother that I wasn't going to learn anything in kindergarten, because I already knew all of it. They didn't do "advanced work" until 2nd or 3rd grade, and I loved school, before and after I started doing "gifted and talented" work. I never had a probem, even though I was definitely capable of more difficult work.

 

[jodifla]

For what I've seen 4 is simply TOO YOUNG for kindergarten today. It's too long a day, too heavily academic, for a 4 year old who should still spend most of the day PLAYING.

Kids should have to be 5 before the first day of school.

 

[girlsx4]

2 of my 4 girls were 4yrs old when they started kindergarten. Neither of them went to preschool and they are now in the 4th and 6th grade doing great! I applaud you for sending your son! It seems like so many parents "hold kids back" just because it's the thing to do! If you think he's ready, then send him!

 

[bellaphia]

to OP
my youngest started K at age 4-she made the cut off here as well-she went to Pre-k 3x a week prior and did just fine adjusting to a 5x/week schedule-she also did very well on the bus to and from school-no problems
Good Luck-

 

[princessmom29]

I'll answer you.

I will be "red-shirting", DS was a preemie and due 20 days after the cut off, but was born 10 days before. For me, yes, I will be very happy with DS learning other things. I actually will be very happy if he knows everything they teach in kindergarten going in so that he can spend kindergarten learning how to make friends and follow rules and play nicely, and he can adjust to being in school 5 days a week, 7 hours a day. That's what kindergarten was for me when I went to school, and that's what I feel is best for him.

Other parents may feel differently, and they can make their decisions based on that.

FWIW, I wasn't "red-shirted" (not even close. May birthday, Dec 1st cut off) and after kindergarten screening they told my mother that I wasn't going to learn anything in kindergarten, because I already knew all of it. They didn't do "advanced work" until 2nd or 3rd grade, and I loved school, before and after I started doing "gifted and talented" work. I never had a probem, even though I was definitely capable of more difficult work.

Your situation is an example of a situation where holding a child back should be a consideration. He is a preemie that straddles the cutoff date. I would love to hear from a parent of achild with no developmental delay who held a child with say, a november or december birthday out of K at 5, so that they were 6 turning 7 in december when they started. That is what I have issue with, not your situation where those few days made a differnce for a premature child. To me they are two completely different things.

 

[Tinkmom75]

My DS Birthday is Feb. so she started at 5. My DS#1 Birthday is in April he started at 5. My DS#2 is August. I fully plan for him to start K in the fall. We have been teaching him at home and daycare so he is ready for all the milestones. I was born in June. I graduated at 17 and turned 18 shortly after. I was in the top 10 and had high GPA and was accepted into an honors program. The driving thing didn't bother me.

Right now DD will be 16 this weekend. A lot of kids older than her do not have their licenses because of the way MI does the license thing. It also does not seem to be as big of a deal as when I was younger.

I would have put DS#1 in K at age 3 or 4 if they let me. He is really advanced. There was no early entrance for any reason. Let me tell you, kids are not as hung up on age as adults are. My kids hang out with children a couple years older or younger than themselves. They all play and get along well (except the ocassional spat every kid has). I think the whole school system should be based on ability and maturity and every kid should be tested ad 3 or 4 or 5 to see where they fit in. Parents along with school officials should get together and decide what is best. Age does not matter as much as the child. It's just a number. Often a child of advanced potential will seek out peers that are older because children his own age do not understand him. I agree with the poster that said children are not widgets.

 

[liznboys]

For what I've seen 4 is simply TOO YOUNG for kindergarten today. It's too long a day, too heavily academic, for a 4 year old who should still spend most of the day PLAYING.

Kids should have to be 5 before the first day of school.

I completely agree. In our area they changed the age cutoff to August 31st. It seems like more and more districts are doing that now. It's a good thing.

 

[Mickeypooh99]

I completely agree. In our area they changed the age cutoff to August 31st. It seems like more and more districts are doing that now. It's a good thing.

I cannot understand how this is a good thing. How is it good to hold back kids who are ready and eager to learn? You then end up with a situation in K where there are kids who don't even know their letters and kids who are already reading chapter books. How is that easy for the teacher? Some kids can't count to 20, and some are already doing addition and subtraction.

It should depend on the maturity and ability of the child. As a pp said age is just a number. I have known a lot of 4 and 5 year old children, and I can tell you the range of abilities is huge.

My son missed the cutoff by 12 days. Our cutoff was Dec. 1st. He had to start school when he was almost 6. K was a joke for him. He didn't fit in. He was so eager to learn, and he just didn't learn anything from K that he didn't already know. Which was why we eventually had him grade skipped.

 

[liznboys]

... It should depend on the maturity and ability of the child. ....

In the public school system, how do you expect them to assess each individual child? If one wants their child who is not yet 5 to begin K then one should consider private school or homeschooling. JMO!

 

[princessmom29]

In the public school system, how do you expect them to assess each individual child? If one wants their child who is not yet 5 to begin K then one should consider private school or homeschooling. JMO!

our public schools assess every child as they enter K. I thought that was standard? It is done to see where the child's strengths and weaknesses lie nad what skills they are coming in with. Every child sits down with a teacher adn goes through a series of activities either at registration on on the first day of school. It takes an hour per child or so. It is really not that hard to do.

 

[C&G'sMama]

In the public school system, how do you expect them to assess each individual child? If one wants their child who is not yet 5 to begin K then one should consider private school or homeschooling. JMO!

How can you NOT expect them to? This approach is why we have so many students that fail. I am in a large (36,000 students K-12) urban district. One size fits all doesn't work. Yes guidelines need to be set up, but that's what they are guidelines. Like many things in our nation common sense has been taken out of the equation and it is to the detriment of our children and so goes our society.

 

[Mickeypooh99]

In the public school system, how do you expect them to assess each individual child? If one wants their child who is not yet 5 to begin K then one should consider private school or homeschooling. JMO!

Yes, and this "one" did consider those options. However, I really wanted my child to experience public school. He goes to the same school I went to as a child, and it is a great school. I still "homeschooled" him in the evenings and weekends so he could advance. By the middle of first grade we knew public school wasn't working out for us. There are ways to assess children. I know because mine was assessed in order to skip a grade. Our school also does a K readiness test for parents who request it. However, it can't be used for early entry only for keeping children out an extra year. Why couldn't it be used for both.

 

[Mickeypooh99]

How can you NOT expect them to? This approach is why we have so many students that fail. I am in a large (36,000 students K-12) urban district. One size fits all doesn't work. Yes guidelines need to be set up, but that's what they are guidelines. Like many things in our nation common sense has been taken out of the equation and it is to the detriment of our children and so goes our society.

Yes! I can see we share the same views. You say it better than I do.

 

[liznboys]

Eh, I stand by what I said. Good luck ladies. (Sorry, I'm just not a debater type. LOL)

 

[hmacmahony]

I believe 100% in redshirting, 3 out of my 4 were, and the 4 will be in the next couple years.

My question to you is why you would think its okay for ANY teacher to ignore the needs of ANY child due to their birthday? I have a friend who put their daughter into kindergarten, although the school, preschool told her over and over she was not ready (birthday is 2 days before the cutoff). She didn't know the basics. She is technically legitimally in kindergarten, and has struggled on a daily basis, still past mid year she has trouble writting her name. Do you deny this child any help? Although a extra year home would of benefited her 100%? All children deserve any help they need, it may be to challenge them more, it may be to help them catch up, but you would deny a child that help because of when their birthday is?

I am 100% happy with our familys choice to redshirt out kids. We did not do it so they would have an edge, because lets face it those 10 days they have over the other kids in the class, wow, lots of life experience they have packed into those 10 days. I was not comfortable sending my 4 year old to kindergarten. Every single teacher we talked to, right up to the principal suggested redshirting.

Kindergarten is like 1 grade used to be, thats a fact. Our kindergarteners read mid year. Why would I push my child in, knowing they would struggle for the good of the class???? I did what was best for MY child, and THEIR education. I don't give a hoot what you do for you kid, I care about MY child not struggling through school, and doing the best they can. And if you say you would sacrifice your child for the good of the class, well, I think you are full of bull.

At ages 4 and 6.....YES, it is too big a difference in age. Yes, the 'natural' 12 months is large too at that age - but when you let it happen naturally, it only ends up being a couple of kids (statistically) that are at either end. It's when it is not natural that it ends up being too many on one end to be able to offset it easily. Too many people are doing it and causing too large a gap that would never happen otherwise. So now you have MORE than a couple kids on the older end and still those same couple of kids on the younger end - it is now something that those younger ones need to overcome, which is not fair to them or the teacher. That is the problem. NOT the couple of extra months.

And no way do I think that other parents should (necessarily) consider what is best for MY child, that's for me to do. But it is for the regulations to conform to make sure that each child in that classroom gets a fair shake and for the teachers to have a reasonable teaching expectations (ie: NOT teaching more than one grade level to one class of kids) - so THIS is who I expect to fix things - not other parents. When the regulations are changed so that 5 year olds are in K and 6 year olds are in 1st (or, 6 year olds in K , 7 year olds in 1st - I really don't care as long as it's fair and even). And, yes, I have heard of some districts doing this already where 6 year olds are put in 1st grade regardless of whether they've gone to K or not. Still other districts are handling it another way - by putting age restricions on high school sports. So certain cutoff ages (that correspond with the K cutoff ages) aren't allowed to play the sport anymore. Similar to Little Leage and the fact that older kids aren't ALLOWED to play after a certain age. Anyway- this apparently at least makes some parents think twice about when to start them. So it IS starting to happen in places...I can just stand on my soap box and attend school board meetings on the subject and HOPE that the regulations hurry up to fix the problem.

I've asked in other posts here...Could someone who believes whole-heartedly in redshirting (holding back) please answer this: Since your child will obviously know way more (perhaps even the whole K year curriculum depending) than 4 year olds in his/her class, will you be content that your child is learning OTHER things in that classroom? Is that still BEST for your child? Or do you think that your child should be offered more challenging material (OK let's think 1st grade instead of K)? Don't you think that it was by your choice that your child was not challenged in the first place and that if you truly wanted it you could have had it? So why should the other kids and teachers pay for that choice that you made?

 

[Tinkmom75]

Yes, and this "one" did consider those options. However, I really wanted my child to experience public school. He goes to the same school I went to as a child, and it is a great school. I still "homeschooled" him in the evenings and weekends so he could advance. By the middle of first grade we knew public school wasn't working out for us. There are ways to assess children. I know because mine was assessed in order to skip a grade. Our school also does a K readiness test for parents who request it. However, it can't be used for early entry only for keeping children out an extra year. Why couldn't it be used for both.

Our school does assessments for parents who request them who want to know if there child should do young 5's instead or reg K. It is for holding a child back and not for advancement in any way. It is very sad.

To another poster, you would be surprised how mature a young child can be and how difficult it is to fit in when your thoughts are on subjects that peers just don't understand because they cannot comprehend.

 

[C&G'sMama]

Eh, I stand by what I said. Good luck ladies. (Sorry, I'm just not a debater type. LOL)

No worries
Honestly not looking for a debate. Yours was just a great comment for me to springboard off of where my passion lies, which is a great education for ALL children.