OT- Kids tattoos....ummm WHAT????

[Disney4Drew]

I don't know whatever happened to girls wanting to look "pretty", "girly", and "classy", now they just seem to want to look "slutty" (is that considered a swear). Whenever I pick my DD13 up from school, as much as it disgusts me to see the eigth graders looking either trashy or dressed head to toe in Hollister and Abercrombie, I can't help but gag at the fact that I'm seeing more and more fifth graders look like that. My two older kids (DD13 and DS17) feel the same way, it's like you can't just try to look just "nice" anymore, with both boys and girls.

The latest thing with my DS is him not wanting to wear camo shorts. He's been shooting with my DH up at the range lately, and typically wears camo when they go up there. I bought him a pair of camo shorts last fall, and he seemed pleased when I gave them to him. He wore them to school one day, and now he won't wear them again since apparently someone made a rude comment. My DD cares less about other people (which is surprsing with her being a girl), but even if she barely pays any attention to them she can't help but hear them. She has curly hair and is always listening to people telling her that it needs to be flat-ironed so bad, and that she needs to wear "better" clothes. She likes having curly hair and her clothes, she's mostly been wearing Gap, Polo and J. Crew which we both think are way nicer (and can be pricier) clothes than the ones from these dumb "brand name" stores. One other thing that really annoyed us was kids calling her Dansko clogs "grammy shoes". They're neutral shoes that are great to go with anything for all ages (I actually hardly ever see older women in them), even my DD3.5 as a pair! It's like kids tell her "Don't look classy, look like trampy!" I think 13 is still way too young for this, though half of the kids in her class are a year or two older than her. Again, my DS gets the same thing, just in a "boy version" (though once in a while he'll actually listen to the kids).

This world is just pathetic!


By the way, sorry, I'm just venting. I know my post is little off topic from the thread.

The world is pathetic because your judgemental views of how other children dress are not the same as the judgemental views about how YOUR children dress? I don't get that at all. These are KIDS we're talking about.

 

[Liljam]

I majored in Psych in college and worked in the mental health field for 9 years before going to work at my family's business. Above and beyond psych classes, I had plenty of soc. classes too which taught me to be less judgmental, more open-minded and empathetic to each individual situation rather than put an overall stereotype on people or issues - not pointing any fingers so please everyone, don't go there - I'm just sayin'. I believe that while some children that are exposed to too much turn out to be of bad character or have mixed emotions, children that are sheltered from too much can turn out with equal issues. I do think that sometimes kids don't even know that what they are singing is sexual, that showing a tattoo on the lower back is sexual or that drinking juice from a little cup that has mickey mouse on it (otherwise known as a shot glass used for consuming alcohol to us adults) and when adults (whether it is their own parent or a teacher or another child's parent) make a big issue out of these things to them that it is wrong or unacceptable or dirty or whatever then children often become more interested or involved in it. Lol, or I could just be a huge fan of the works of Milton H. Erickson to believe that when we make an ordeal of something, it becomes the main focus. I think we all agree that putting that tattoo on a child's lower back is just wrong at the age of 5. I'm sure she has no idea that it seems sexual to do this, but her mother or father should have considered it. It can be unsafe especially if a predator is nearby because it shows that this child is vulnerable and open. All in all, I do appreciate that this thread has maintained a level of courtesy for the most part. It's nice that opinions have been stated and debate has continued without any major flames. Good too see.... Lastly, I do commend all the teachers here for having such caring personalities. Around my area, those teachers are few and far between. Most teachers here prefer to suggest that all hyper children need ADHD drugs and that's it. My DH had a best friend who taught before he died at 26 of heart problems during jujitsu practice. He was heavily tattooed, played guitar and sung in a rock band, and even had a beer or two while at a show, but he cared about his students and helped so many of them that came from bad family or emotional situations. Maybe some of his own experiences even lead him to be so good at helping them or counseling them. When he died, the school had to close down for several days because it was so hard to deal with the loss and over 2000 people including students showed up at his funeral. He was of utmost character and was outstanding at his job. I applaud anyone who can be a teacher or a counselor because after 9 years of doing similar things, I found it to be so emotionally draining on my own soul that I had to do something different! Sorry if I got a little off topic here at the end...

 

[PrincessKell]

Temp tattoo's are fine as long as it's in an appropriate place. I'm pretty young (25) and like to think I'm open minded about things (my son has a mohawk for example) but putting a tattoo on the lower back (tramp stamp) is not acceptable. Maybe the little girl's mom has one. Or maybe her mom thinks it's cute or something.

I think my son's mohawk is cute but who knows, maybe others find it unacceptable since my son only is 3. But I do know the characters at WDW loved it! I think kids need to be kids. They will have plenty of time to act as adult as they want to when they get older.

I just had to comment on how cute he looks!

Let me preface this post with this fact: I am a HEAVILY tattooed parent. Nape of neck to tailbone tattooed parent. Because of these tattoos, I have had to explain to my now four and five year old the meanings of such lovely words and terms as "dirtbag", "tramp", "sl*t", "wh*re", "white trash", etc, etc,etc. Terms we NEVER use at home, btw.

Yes, my first tattoo was a "tramp stamp", and I truly HATE that term and its connotation. I do NOT agree that every guy who sees a tramp stamp thinks what some people here are suggesting, just form an informal polling of my friends. I happened to get my first tattoo on my lower back because I have serious back problems, and had just found out that I DIDN'T need surgery to correct them, so I got the tattoo there in celebration. Perhaps not what you would do, but I don't regret my decision.

I am aware that people judge me on my tattoos, and I use that as a teaching tool for my children....just like I use everything else that happens in life. I believe we all teach our children to learn from their environments and the people in the world, both the good and the bad.

I allow my kids to have temporary tattoos anywhere that would be APPROPRIATE to show in public. This means arms, legs, shoulders, even occasionally a neck. No belly anymore for my DD, since she started lifting her shirt.

HOWEVER, I do not believe that I am soomehow robbing my children of their childhoods by letting them have temporary tattoos. They view them as dress-up and understand the difference between "play" tattoos and "real" ones. I really cannot compare temporary tattoos with age inappropriate clothing for pre-teens, everyday make up for children, etc.

I KNOW my children see temporary tattoos as a "toy". And I know they like to show them off, which is why I keep them in appropriate places. I agreew ith the OP that the PLACEMENT of the temp was inappropriate, but the temporary tattoo, in and of itself, I do not believe has anything wrong with it.

I think the most important thing we can do, as parents, is to teach our children to be tolerant and open-minded people, who do their best NOT to judge others based upon their looks, inherited or chosen. However, we must also make out children aware of how society treats and sees people, all people, who are different, whether by choice or by birth (and it does, no matter how much we may wish differently). By allowing our children to make the decision to be different or not with our blessings and no potential judgement or ostracization by us, as long as they walk into that decision with their eyes wide open to the consequences, is I believe, one of the greatest gifts we can give our children.

Ok, off of my soapbox.

I think this is really well put.

We are a tattoo'd family as well. DD actually got temp tattoos in her Easter basket. They are POTC tattoos. In which she loves, and will only put on her arms or hands. DD knows the difference between a real and fake tattoo. She wants to get a real one someday, and you know what I will take her when she is old enough, legally. She is growing up to be a very smart young girl. She is only six now, but I think as long as we guide her on the correct path she will be just fine. She has her own personality, and is very independent. Because of her Autism (very high functioning) she is very socially awkward. So we take the steps to help her in life. She is very tall and can not wear most of the clothing that would fit her because they would be too short or too tight. We make most of her clothing and she loves it. Her Easter dress is actually down to her ankles and that is how SHE wanted it.

I think its a matter of parent judgment at this age since these kids are so young and innocent still.

I also have to say that the label "tramp Stamp" is really bother some, especially when some have said most gals who get it there are "slutty" or men know what it means. That was may first tattoo, in the small of my back, how ever its a bit higher then some of the tattoos I have seen on the small over the lower back. Ten years ago it was not all the rage as it is now. I also do not share it with the world. I do not wear low jeans, nor do I wear belly shirts. Nor did I went I was younger. I think that there are plenty tattoos in that spot that are very classy and great pieces of art work on many women of all ages not just younger adults. So this being said, I think that even if a parent has a tattoo there doesn't mean that the young girl in the house is going to want one, or will she turn out to be "that" kind of girl.

Parenting is not ONE issues, its all issues. We should be raising our children based on that.

By the way, younger girls role models these days are not the greatest. Some of them anyway. They can get these ideas on where to put tattoos and drinking on our younger celebs. Even thought we as parents try to shield our children from TV and all this bad stuff that kids shouldn't see, its still out there and their friends and classmates do know about it. Its all around.

I am just glad that my child is happy and healthy. There is not enough time in the world to worry about someone else's child that has something I do not agree with on their body. If I see something that Georgia points out I do not agree with. We talk about it and give her good points on what is wrong with it or why she needs to wait (i.e. Brat dolls and Sponge Bob are not allowed in our house. and she knows why) and she respects that as much as a six year old can. haha But the key is we talk about it its not just NO because I said so. She has to understand why, or it is likely to backfire on me. So far soo good I say.

 

[_queenie_]

The world is pathetic because your judgemental views of how other children dress are not the same as the judgemental views about how YOUR children dress? I don't get that at all. These are KIDS we're talking about.

What I was trying to say was pathetic is how kids make fun of others.

I don't see any problem with Hollister/Aeropostale stuff (that's appropriate), what I see as a problem is kids being mean to those who don't wear it. Sorry to upset anyone, but the point I was trying to get across was that it's hard finding appropriate clothing for girls, kids are influenced so much by their peers, and just that kids can be so mean to classmates who don't bare it all.

 

[ty&brenmom]

I majored in Psych in college and worked in the mental health field for 9 years before going to work at my family's business. Above and beyond psych classes, I had plenty of soc. classes too which taught me to be less judgmental, more open-minded and empathetic to each individual situation rather than put an overall stereotype on people or issues - not pointing any fingers so please everyone, don't go there - I'm just sayin'. I believe that while some children that are exposed to too much turn out to be of bad character or have mixed emotions, children that are sheltered from too much can turn out with equal issues. I do think that sometimes kids don't even know that what they are singing is sexual, that showing a tattoo on the lower back is sexual or that drinking juice from a little cup that has mickey mouse on it (otherwise known as a shot glass used for consuming alcohol to us adults) and when adults (whether it is their own parent or a teacher or another child's parent) make a big issue out of these things to them that it is wrong or unacceptable or dirty or whatever then children often become more interested or involved in it. Lol, or I could just be a huge fan of the works of Milton H. Erickson to believe that when we make an ordeal of something, it becomes the main focus. I think we all agree that putting that tattoo on a child's lower back is just wrong at the age of 5. I'm sure she has no idea that it seems sexual to do this, but her mother or father should have considered it. It can be unsafe especially if a predator is nearby because it shows that this child is vulnerable and open. All in all, I do appreciate that this thread has maintained a level of courtesy for the most part. It's nice that opinions have been stated and debate has continued without any major flames. Good too see.... Lastly, I do commend all the teachers here for having such caring personalities. Around my area, those teachers are few and far between. Most teachers here prefer to suggest that all hyper children need ADHD drugs and that's it. My DH had a best friend who taught before he died at 26 of heart problems during jujitsu practice. He was heavily tattooed, played guitar and sung in a rock band, and even had a beer or two while at a show, but he cared about his students and helped so many of them that came from bad family or emotional situations. Maybe some of his own experiences even lead him to be so good at helping them or counseling them. When he died, the school had to close down for several days because it was so hard to deal with the loss and over 2000 people including students showed up at his funeral. He was of utmost character and was outstanding at his job. I applaud anyone who can be a teacher or a counselor because after 9 years of doing similar things, I found it to be so emotionally draining on my own soul that I had to do something different! Sorry if I got a little off topic here at the end...

Sorry to hear about the loss of you DH's friend, just wanted to say that this was well put and I totally agree.

 

[leighe]

Very interesting responses. As someone who hangs with teens all day - I'm a highschool teacher - I am confident in saying that some of you are missing the point. Alcohol, tatoos, piercings, are all adult activities. Letting a baby take a sip of alcohol or letting a 5 year old get a fake tattoo on her backside is not done in isolation -there is value attached to those activities, if not, why let them do it? Those activities mean something to the parents and the other adults they are putting the show on for, if it didn't, then that behaviour wouldn't be encouraged. If it were just an innocent little tattoo/sticker, then it would be on her hand, which is where my daughter gets hers - the backside is another whole ball of wax altogether.

I can assure you that most of my teens got the very same mixed messages that many of you are sending to your kids - a baby girl of 5 showing a tattoo on her backside is a mixed message for her, but it is a very clear message to the rest of us. It is sexualizing a young girl and that is wrong. Parents can trick themselves into thinking it's not, but it is what it is.

I would love for the parents on here who do shots with their kids (doesn't matter if it's juice or alcohol as the messages from that activity are the same) or tattoos (real or fake) to hear what my students learned from those activities at early ages. It's not just innocent fun, but it actually sends messages to kids that those activities are ok at young ages - that little girl obviously has seen her mother, aunt, babysitter, etc., engage in pulling down her backside to show off a tattoo, so she has done the same. If the mom knew this, she wouldn't have put the tattoo there, or, let her daughter see her showing her tattoo off to someone. The whole pulling down the pants thing and placing tattoos there in the first place is very common with my teens, Britney Spears, etc. - it's placed on the backside for a reason, and that reason is not something a baby girl of 5 should know anything about.

It's sad that so many parents don't realize that these 'innocent' activities are usually anything but until it's much too late. Any kind of adult activity such as drinking, tattoos, pretend smoking, etc. should not be dumbed down or made childlike at all, as it's a dangerous area to be in. How in the world are you going gto explain to your 13 year old who then wants to switch the jello or juice in the shot glass for alcohol, that it's wrong when you've been encouraging this fun behaviour for years? It's hypocritical and confused message parenting, and this is the worst of kind of parenting in terms of damage control.

Tiger

Bravo!!!! I'm a high school teacher and I completely agree! And I'm not even that strict of a parent!

 

[Wendy5055]

I would never allow my daughter age 6 to have a tattoo there!!! I have enough difficulty with the cartoon character ones they put on their arms!!! Besides, where I come from those are called "Tramp Stamps"...not good.

 

[Benducci]

I do not think this is appropriate - on the arm, the cheek, fine- they are 4,5 years old- not 19, 20.

 

[mari360]

I think that is inapproriate my DD2 has had temp tattoos but on her forearm or hand nothing like the little girl had. Parent's sometimes...

 

[hppy2bhome]

To me this goes along the same lines as the parents who make "virgin" jello shots for their kids to have when they prepare the real ones for parties.....sorry but it is totally inappropriate. What is going on in the world that this is what some people are reduced to......is it that they want their kids to "be first" with this or that.

I better stop now before I tick alot of people off.

i serve sparkling juice on holidays when we have wine.

I know bad mommie..

 

[DevilDuckie]

Alcohol, tatoos, piercings, are all adult activities.
Tiger

I'm curious about your inclusion of piercings in this list. Ear piercing (to my mind) is just not the same as the other things you mentioned and I wonder if you're including that or if you were thinking more of navels and more extreme areas?

 

[vellamint]

i serve sparkling juice on holidays when we have wine.

I know bad mommie..

Sorry but I dont think serving sparkling juice is anywhere near serving virgin jello shots.....

 

[Tiger926]

I'm curious about your inclusion of piercings in this list. Ear piercing (to my mind) is just not the same as the other things you mentioned and I wonder if you're including that or if you were thinking more of navels and more extreme areas?

Sorry about the confusion - although I don't believe in piercing young babies/childrens ears as they should have the right to make that decision when they are older, I was most specifically speaking of body piercings. My students have them placed all over their bodies, and not only are they highly distractable in class, they have them placed in very inappropriate and in some cases dangerous areas of the body which have caused some serious infections. Also, some of them have attached sexual meanings to them in regards to placement of the piercings, so we've had some major issues with that as well.

In response to the above posting - If the sparking juice is served in wine glasses, it's the same as serving virgin jello shots, as you are promoting an alcohol atmosphere, IMHO.

Hope this clears it up, Tiger

 

[PrincessKsMom]

Sorry about the confusion - although I don't believe in piercing young babies/childrens ears as they should have the right to make that decision when they are older,

I got a real laugh out of this particular part of your quote. When I asked my pediatrician to pierce my daughter's ears when she was a baby he told me "they" (being some governing pediatric organization) recommend you wait until the children are at least 7 or 8. "They" feel it should be the child's right to make that decision. I then asked him of "they" also feel that if I had a son, I should wait until he's 7 or 8 to ask his point of view on circumcision, since I think that's a much bigger decision (and longer lasting too!)! My pediatrician went ahead and pierced my daughter's ears!

 

[leighe]

Sorry but I dont think serving sparkling juice is anywhere near serving virgin jello shots.....

I agree. I don't know why that seems to be so hard for some people to grasp.

 

[_queenie_]

I got a real laugh out of this particular part of your quote. When I asked my pediatrician to pierce my daughter's ears when she was a baby he told me "they" (being some governing pediatric organization) recommend you wait until the children are at least 7 or 8. "They" feel it should be the child's right to make that decision. I then asked him of "they" also feel that if I had a son, I should wait until he's 7 or 8 to ask his point of view on circumcision, since I think that's a much bigger decision (and longer lasting too!)! My pediatrician went ahead and pierced my daughter's ears!

Too funny, I find that there's usually some way to persuade doctors to do something (on that level). How old is your DD by the way? I made an appointment at the dermatology office we go to for my DD3.5 last month and they didn't hesitate, I think they just wanted out money!

 

[karajeboo]

Are there any "conservative" (not politcal, but rather dress and behavior) parents left?

I'm here, I'm here! I still buy patent leather mary janes for DD who turns 7 this month, and she actually looks like a little girl! I don't mind the HSM and Hannah Montana t's that she favors, but she doe NOT show her belly, she will NOT wear low rise jeans, and she will NOT dress like she's in high school until she gets there!

As for the OP, I was shocked (but then again NOT shocked) to hear of this temp tattoo - DH and I don't like them at all, but we do agree that they are just dress up. She did come home from a friends house this weekend with one on her belly and we talked about that and the inappropriateness (at least in our view). We are not overly conservative, but we are overly protective, and I want my child to stay a child for as long as possible. It's so sad the things she's learning at school in 1st grade that are of a sexual nature already. Who knew I would have to address these issues at this age? Life is too scary later on, why can't they just be innocent a little longer?

 

[The Moonk's Mom]

I too want my only girl to stay a little girl for as long as she can. And she really feels the same way...I know she mainly gets it from us. I have been shocked at times taking her to friends homes to see they have posters of teenage stars or musicians on their walls. They get all google eyed over boys in movies. Then I have to question the influence the parents have on this behavior.
My DD has taken dance for 5 1/2 yrs and I have on more than one occasion had to address the costume that was picked out for my VERY young child to wear. I even went as far as telling the teacher that we would have to not be apart of the recital if the costume was not changed. It was black and showed her stomach and strap over one sholder...for a 4 year old...a little over kill!!!

I do believe that letting them play like adults too much now will only lead to more adult problems much younger...and I can wait on that!!!!

 

[PrincessKsMom]

Too funny, I find that there's usually some way to persuade doctors to do something (on that level). How old is your DD by the way? I made an appointment at the dermatology office we go to for my DD3.5 last month and they didn't hesitate, I think they just wanted out money!

Actually my DD is 12 now, but was, I believe 3 (or 6?) months old when we had her ears pierced. I thought that was a young age, but had the doctor given me a legitimate medical reason not to, I would have listened. I just found his reasoning ridiculous. I asked if there was a medical reason for it and the only thing he could come up with was that she might swallow the earnings. On the other hand, I was also told by many, many mothers, to have her ears pierced when she was very young, because she wouldn't bother with them very much, I would be in charge of keeping them clean, etc, instead of leaving that to a young girl and babies have much shorter memory spans. Actually, the pedi's secretary told me she waited until her daughter was a year old, and her daughter was terrified of the pedi because of it. She always equated the pain with him being a bad man. BTW, I was 12 years old when I had mine pierced and I went to the store 3 or 4 times before I got up the nerve to go in. Then I whined about the pain for weeks, etc. I just thought it would be easier when she was younger, and it was. For a long time she didn't wear earrings when was was older (5, 6, 7 years old), but when she was about 10, she started to like wearing them again. My whole point was, it's there if she wants it, and she doesn't have to if she chooses not to. That circumcision thing is another whole bowl of wax though! No options there! I do have to admit, I really thought I'd made a terrible mistake when I saw how he pierced them -- when mine were done they used an air gun to shoot the earring in to create the hole -- when DD had hers done, the earring was actually placed on a syringe-like thing and the pressure of the doctor pushing is what pierced the ear. (Absolutely barberic ). Once he did the first one, I didn't really think I had an option not have the second one done.

 

[MyZoeJane]

I'm curious how many people are going to think I deserve the Worst Mom of the Year Award for buying my daughter a hair streaking kit? (Okay, so it was from the Easter Bunny. )

Do temporary streaks in her hair at preschool qualify her for being in the "high risk" group?


Seriously, though... I've got several big tattoos... I regret most of them and oddly enough, I grew to be quite a conservative looking/dressing/acting person. People find out I have a tattoo and they are shocked. I mean SHOCKED... but when I was in high school (1990-1994) I had shocking blue streaks in my hair and I thought it was pretty funny when my daughter started begging for blue and pink streaks (courtesy of a Barbie movie in which one of the characters had them) so I bought her the kit so she could have them, too.

I am genuinely curious if you guys would put temporary colored streaks on par with fake tramp stamps and virgin jello shots? I'm trying to decide if I will allow her to wear them to school tomorrow.