OT Help me be strong...

[Magic Mom]

DD was playing at her friends house. They were supposed to stay outside, because her friend's Mom is dealing with some serious health issues right now, and she was resting. I had offered to have them stay here and play but they wanted to play in the friends yard (cuz the friend has every cool yard toy imaginable). I told DD that she was ABSOLUTELY not allowed inside the house...not even if friend's Mom said it was OK.
Well, where did she end up....in the house. So when she came home I grounded her this evening and tomorrow since she has the day off school.
Now she is sobbing and crying.

I feel bad for her....I shouldn't but I do.
I have to be strong though, because she has disobeyed be a few times in the last several weeks. I can't let this go. She has to do as I say, period...
Man it's hard being a mean Mom.

 

[Stephres]

Aw, being mean is no fun, but it's necessary. I don't know how old your daughter is but even my 8 year old has trouble remembering things when he has having fun with his friends. Good luck!

 

[Reagan&Co.]

You did the right thing!!!

 

[DisneyCrazyX5]

You did the right thing!!!

It is tough to be tough.

 

[stacy6552]

Its a dictatorship, mom, not a democracy. Hang tight. You'll appreciate it later.

We've just had a big hullabaloo, here because of some vandalism. Two of my neighbors have kids my son's age (14, I still can't believe it). One was involved and one wasn't but is friends with the other. Both kids were like, "whats the big deal?" And my one friend was really upset by her son's attitude. When I talked to my son about it, telling him to walk away blah blah blah, my son said, "its totally wrong, he'd have no part of it......." I told my mom later that I don't know if I've raised him right or raised him scared, but at this point, I dont know or care what the difference is.

Hang tough. Mom. I'll send you my meanest mom in the world t-shirt. Wear it with pride.

 

[GreatDaneMom]

You aren't being "mean", you're being consistent and providing your child with the stability that so many never get these days. Keep up the good work Mom, the benefits are huge and the rewards are priceless.

 

[diz8297]

You did the right thing. It's not easy being the Mom or Dad.

 

[Magic Mom]

Thanks for the support everyone. She cried herself to sleep.
The funny thing is I have a 16YO son and I have always been tough as nails with him, and its paid off. He is an amazing kid (probably more to his credit then mine). But DD (8YO) is my baby.....
LOL I'd better get over that and quick!

 

[Aliceacc]

I have taught WAY too many kids who have never heard the word "NO!" applied to them, and I teach high school. When they finally hit a place (my school) where there's consistency, it's really hard for some of them.

You are doing your daughter a huge favor. You're right, parenting can be tough. Think back to those early days when you couldn't look as she got her vaccinations; it killed you, didn't it?? But you did it, because you knew it would help her be healthier and stronger. This is the exact same thing.

 

[Magic Mom]

Think back to those early days when you couldn't look as she got her vaccinations; it killed you, didn't it?? But you did it, because you knew it would help her be healthier and stronger. This is the exact same thing.

Very good point!!

 

[bigbabyblues]

You're right, you have to be strong and stick to the punishmen.. I don't think it's harsh, either.

My DS 7 & 4 were out playing in the yard yesterday while DH was mowing, and decided it would be fun to go next door to slide on the neighbor's big slide. Said neighbor is elderly and has said it's ok for them to slide there, it used to be for his grandkids but they're grown. My boys aren't allowed out of the yard, and they know it. I saw them go over there and followed them. They're both grounded to the house for a week. Not sure the 4-yo gets it, but I won't punish just the older one and they have to learn. They can't go wherever they want, it doesn't work that way. 4-yo asked to go outside today and cried when I told him no, but he knew why he wasn't allowed to.

 

[kyhardy]

I have 2 children DS16 & DD9. Looking back I can see that the times the punishments have been hard for me as well as kids were probably the most necessary. Stick to your guns. Believe me you'll need the experience when they're teenagers, moping, sighing and throwing themselves on the couch with dramatic flair because they were caught on the computer during restricted times and you had the audacity to punish them and ruin the rest of their life.

 

[AndyLL]

You have to follow through on the punishment.

However I was curious about this statement:

I told DD that she was ABSOLUTELY not allowed inside the house...not even if friend's Mom said it was OK.

Isn't that possibly causing a conflict?

When DS5 is at a friends house he is told to obey the parent at the house.

Andy

 

[Magic Mom]

You have to follow through on the punishment.

However I was curious about this statement:



Isn't that possibly causing a conflict?

When DS5 is at a friends house he is told to obey the parent at the house.

Andy

I can see how it looks like a conflict but it isn't. If the Mom would have told her she had to come in, DD knows she is to call and check with me, or come home and ask. It would be the same for the friend...if I told her to come in, and she said she was supposed to stay outside, I would have her call her house to check with them and give them the reason I asked them to come in.
But that's all moot, because friend's Mom didn't tell them to come in....they asked her.

 

[nrod]

When my little guys tell me I'm being mean, I say "Then I'm doing my job! Mom's are supposed to mean sometimes." They don't say it's the hardest job in the world for nothing!

It's hard, but you definitely did the right thing. She'll be the better for it and hopefully remember next time to call you. Hang in there!

 

[badblackpug]

You were easier on her than I would have been. At 8, she would have been in the house for a week! Stick to your guns!

 

[DevilDuckie]

And what if you'd needed to know where she was and couldn't find her because she'd disobeyed? You're not being mean, you're being loving. Love often means being a parent, not a buddy.

 

[mamaLori05]

Good for YOU!!!! I too have seen and taught too many kids that run the house. Those are the kids that end up in trouble later on in life. Kids need structure and guidelines, and it sounds like you are doing that for your kids. Your kids will be sucessful in life because you are "being mean". Keep up the good work!! I know it's hard, but well worth it!!

 

[Aliceacc]

Isn't that possibly causing a conflict?

When DS5 is at a friends house he is told to obey the parent at the house.

Andy

I see your point, and for the most part I agree. But kids have to know that their own parents are the ulimate authority;when in conflict, what mom or dad says goes. Otherwise there's always the possiblity that they'll obey an adult who doesn't have their best interests at heart.

 

[tam626]

You did the right thing! I have a 21 year old, a 17 yr. old & an almost 3 year old. I gave my older son too many freedoms too early & it led to some very bad choices on his part. With my dd, I was stricter & she is an amazing girl now. With the little one, I gotta keep a tight rein on him already.