OT-Does your 2.5 year old stay overnight at Grandparents?

[musclecar_72]

Our DD started staying with my parents overnight at about one year old. They only live 7 miles away and they ask us to bring her over every couple of months so we can sneak away for the night. She see them 4-5 times a week also.

She is now 3 1/2 and if we hang around too long when we drop her off for overnights she reminds us with hands on hips of course, "he guys, its time for you to leave its pawpaw and grammy time now".

 

[Becky2005]

Mine do but usually out of plans for necessity. LOL! My kids spent the night at their Grandparents when I was going to be giving birth (or at least I thought so) several times. My 2 year old just spent the night over there last weekend because my DD & I were going to Great America and it was easier for my mom to just keep the baby until the next day. She has a thing in the summer where she keeps each grand kid 1 night (including my niece & nephew). So that was basically DS-2's turn. We don't do it all the time and have never done it with all 4 kids at once (THAT would drive my parents insane I'm sure). So, we have never done it to go have a parent time. It's usually one of us is doing something with the older one and the other one is at work.

 

[PaulaSue]

Never at their house. My parents did stay here both times that dh and I went away on weekend trips and they were (5,3,1) and again at (6,4,2)

 

[brandylouwho]

My DD is 2.5 and she has stayed "away" from me twice in her life. Once she was 1 year old and stayed in Grandma's room at the same hotel I was at (it was my work Christmas party). She did pretty well with grandma (my mom) but sadly, my mom passed away a few months later.

The second time we left her was when she was 2.25 yrs old. For our anniversary DH and I got a nice hotel room in the same town we live in...DD stayed with great grandma and grandpa at our house. That went fine, but I think being in her own home really helped.

My daughter will often wake up in the middle of the night and is not the best at "self soothing." More times than not she will crawl into our bed or at least come into our room and sleep on her 2nd bed (she has 1 bed in her room, another of her own in our room, because I can't lock her in her room and let her cry it out...that just isn't in me) so, I think that makes it tough for great grandma & grandpa, unless they are willing to share their bed with her too.

Truth be told, I worry about her when I am not with her. I was pretty attached to my mom as a kid and afraid of the dark too...so staying at new place was always rough at first, but sometimes it is a necessity of life.

In my opinion I think you should keep letting her try to stay at grandmas (if she wants to) and eventually she'll get used to it. And if there is some reason she has to stay at grandmas...she will just have to deal with it...she'll survive!

 

[J.C.&ALI'SMOM]

Wow! I didn't know we were so strange!! My oldest spent her first night at Mam and Poppy's house at a little over a month old! It just wasn't a big deal to us for her to stay over with them. I trust them almost more than myself, especially as a first time mother. My girls usually spend one nite a weekend with my parents, so it is very common in our house.

I guess we are a little wierd. They do go on pretty much every vacation with us and we are together all the time to eat/shop/etc. They are our best friends.

 

[matthew&haleysmom]

Here it is Friday night. My 6 year old dd is staying with Grammy. My 2 year old ds stayed the night with Grammy for 1 hour. Then, he was ready to come home.

 

[Sandi12404]

I almost feel like a bad mom. My kids have been staying at my mom and dad's for years. First I should say I was a single mom with my DD8 and I lived at home until she was 2. My parents were devestated when I moved in with my now husband and took Haleigh away. She started going over there every Wednesday to have dinner with them and they gave her a bath and we picked her up and brought her home for bed and she spent every Saturday night there. 6 years later Chloe was born and when she was a month old she was right in there with the same routine. They're 8 and 2 now and they love their trips to nana and papa's house. They are spoiled rotten there. They get ice cream sundaes after their bath every Saturday while they watch a movie and nana makes them cinnamon rolls Sunday morning. Some people may think I'm crazy but my parents aren't going to be around forever and my kids are getting fantastic memories that they will have for their entire lives. My favorite memories of my nana and grandpa are the sleepovers at their house. My mom and dad love it, too. They just light up when they see my kids.

 

[glass slipper girl]

My oldest son spent his first night at my parents at 3 months old. I was having a hard time with post partum depression and my mother decided it would be good for me to have a night out with DH. It did help for that night but it felt weird to go to sleep without him there and wake up without him being my "alarm clock." I don't think he stayed there again untill around 9 months but and has done it from time to time ever since. He's now almost 6. He did go through a period where he would want to come home around 10:00. He was about 3 when that would happen. At that time we lived 40 minutes from my parents so the routine my Mom used was to let him call and talk to us and if he still wanted to come home, she'd have me wait 10-15 minutes before I left to get him while she settled down with him and they'd watch a "boy show" on TV or something. Most of the time he'd be asleep within that 10-15 minutes and she'd call and say he was fine. If I didn't hear from her in 10 minutes, I'd start over there to get him. It was nice that he was so used to staying with them so when I was in the hospital having DS #2 when he was 21 months old, it wasn't a problem. The hospital was 10 minutes from my parents so he came to see me for a long time each day but he was fine there at night. One less thing for me to worry about!

My youngest was older when he started staying the night. He was breastfed (DS #1 had some medical issues at birth that prevented nursing) and would pretty much accept one bottle but not more than one from Mom. So we could go to dinner or a movie and leave him there but not overnight. By the time he was done nursing, he was quite attached to Mommy and wouldn't stay there. He did his first overnight at around 3 or so. It took more than one try with having to go get him (we'd drop them off and then go to dinner and movie near my parents and then call to see if things were OK for us to head home or if he was getting upset). Now at 4 he runs right in pulling his little suitcase and yelling "BYE MOMMY!" over his shoulder without even looking back.

My parents are moving this weekend to a condo 5 minutes from us and the boys are SO excited about them being so close and tell me regularly they can go spend the night there ALL THE TIME now.

 

[Merriwind]

Not selfish at all. Your dd may just not be ready. 2s and 3s have lots of fears. It's great that she gets to spend lots of time with your parents. I know it's frustrating, but she won't be little forever.

I would say encourage, but don't push. I think that the times she goes for a sleepover and comes home probably set you back more than not going at all and just waiting a little longer. Continue being patient; she'll get there. They all do!

 

[Karrie Davis]

I wonder if they let her sleep in there room if it would help. My son who is now 28 months old has been sleeping over at a few family members homes since he was a little over a year old and loves it. He is a great sleeper though and can hit the hay when it is time. He gets a bit nervouse and trys to not let me leave at first but once I am gone he is fine.

The first time he slept in his Grandpas room in his P&P and loved it. THen he has sleep overs every so many months at one of my sisters homes. He has his own room at one of their homes and is use to it now.

I say have them push through a time or 2 with her. It will be hard for everyone but it will help her know she is safe sleeping there and she WILL see you the next day.

 

[gypsydoodlebug]

We send our 2.5 year old over to Nonnie and Papa's quite often for sleepovers and she LOVES it! We started doing this regularly when she was about 2 - around the same time that her baby brother arrived. And to be accurate, I shouldn't say we "send" her over, rather she asks to go over and they ask to have her over. In fact, I think she'd rather be over there than at home at times! It's a treat for her - some special alone time where she gets all of their attention and they get to spoil her (breakfast in bed is their treat to her ). She's a pretty independent kid though, so I think that's why she has been OK about it from such a young age.

Same here. I travel monthly and DH sometimes tags along (we're in Boston this week) so DD-Almost3 has to stay with my folks. She LOVES it. If my parents come over, she goes to her closet and drags out her princess suitcase. My mom and I went shopping and took DD along to get her some Crocs -- she told my mom she wanted to go to Wee and Po-Po's house, but I hadn't brought any clothes. So went went to Gymboree and bought her an outfit and some jammies and she just went home with my mom, who has a carseat in her backseat.

OP, I think the encouragement-but-don't-push is a good idea...my folks keep a snapshot of DH & I in a frame on DD's nightstand in her room at their house and I usually tuck in a little present for mom to give DD when she starts getting whiney. Takes her mind of whatever's freaking her out. My mom sometimes sleeps with DD in her room, too. Actually, sleeping with DD is easier than sleeping with my dad...

Good luck. I think all parents need a night out to rekindle the romance...

 

[cruiserkaren]

I know - my daughter was the same way. She loved adults when I was around but even kids she had a hard time adjusting to - even with me there. This was when she was 2 and early 3. Even with the grandparent stay-overs she was still tough at the playground etc... I would have to encourage her to seek out a friend and try and sit back to watch. It would take her all of 3min to realize I was not right near her and not want to play with the other kids anymore. She is 4 now and is so much better. I did start her in Preschool only 2 days a week this past fall and it has done wonders for her. I wouldn't worry too much at this point - some kids are very shy and held back at your childs age. It may just take time but it may also take some encouragement too. GL

Thanks for sharing that. It makes me feel better to know that she's not the only one.

Thanks everyone for their kind words and experiences. I'll guess we'll wait it out while continuing to encourage it.

I would say encourage, but don't push. I think that the times she goes for a sleepover and comes home probably set you back more than not going at all and just waiting a little longer. Continue being patient; she'll get there. They all do!

I think you're right about that. I was thinking maybe if I "didn't" allow her too, when she asks (b/c she does ask) then the time I "allow" it it may seem more like something special.

 

[mrsltg]

My older dd has been staying with my parents overnight since she was 10 weeks old! When I travel for business and Dh can't rearrange his schedule my girls go to Momma and Poppa's. My parents live in NY (5 hours from me) so we don't get to visit as often as we'd like. Instead, I'll drive the girls up on a Saturday and my parents bring them back the following Saturday. This way my parents get to spend time with the girls, and dh and I have a nice break. It works great for our family!

 

[Cinderella2006]

This is a popular thread! Just thought I would give you my views as well. My son is 25 months and he is adorable, a good boy and I love him to bits. Now I am very close to my son and cant bear to be without him but as he is getting older I don’t want him to be, how can I put it 'a mommies boy'.

Bit of a different situation for me as to cut a long story short, I was told I could never have children so obviously when I became pregnant I was over the moon, nearly lost him twice during pregnancy so I guess I am a bit protective.

I will try not to babble on but what I am trying to say is that it works both ways, it is important for your child to form close relationships with your parents just as it is for you and your partner to spend 'quality' time with one another.

I am sure your child would love to stay with his grandparents just as much as they would love to have him. I am sure he will get spoilt with lots of affection, which unfortunately we can’t show 24/7!

My son stays at my mums once a month, this gives my partner and myself a well earned lie in and gives us time to remind each other how much we care for one other. Sometimes we go out for dinner or stay away in a hotel or just being at home relaxing and having some 'me' time is wonderful. If I am honest I still get upset when I get into bed and feel guilty about leaving him, after all he is my responsibility, right? I miss him, its crazy it’s only a few hours!

Leaving your child for a night does not make you a bad mother, if anything, it makes you appreciate your child more. I am sure you will do what is best for you.
Good luck

 

[mamalle]

My daughter has been going to gramma's house on saturday night for as long as I can remember, even as a baby after 6 months old. its a given every weekend in our house. Now my son is loving going too. she waited though till he was around 3 to start having him over more regularly. so it wasnt too much for her. I grew up spending weekends with my grandparents and have such fond memories of them. I hope our kids will too.

 

[leighe]

Wow! I didn't know we were so strange!! My oldest spent her first night at Mam and Poppy's house at a little over a month old! It just wasn't a big deal to us for her to stay over with them. I trust them almost more than myself, especially as a first time mother. My girls usually spend one nite a weekend with my parents, so it is very common in our house.

Nope - you're not weird. My 5 month old DD is at Nana and Daddy Jim's (my parents) right now. I had some very intensive professional development meetings this week - I had to give a lengthy presentation today - and my DH was going to be out of town on business so it seemed like the perfect time for her to go visit my parents. They live a couple of hours away so they don't see her as often as MIL and FIL (in fact, MIL keeps her when I'm working during the school year and she's probably averaged spending a night over there every two weeks or so.) It works for us. She is a super happy and good-natured child. I know seperation anxiety doesn't set in at her age quite yet but I'm hoping that she will be so used to being cared for by a variety of people who love her that it will never be a huge ordeal. We'll see, I guess.

 

[AllyCatTapia]

You know you all want to say it:

How can those who DON'T let kids go EVER have a normal marriage/adult life?

You don't let kids control and direct your life, you absorb the CHILD INTO THE FAMILY (not vice versa). It's just weird to me.

And then the poor Kindergarten teacher is stuck with the wacky kid when being away from mom is FORCED on them.

UGH

 

[mom2alix]

We're not lucky enough to live close to the grandparents, so my kids don't see them that often.

MIL has come up and stayed with DD a couple of times. (Once as a trial and then when I had DS.) Like other have said, staying at our house went really smoothly, even though DD can be a bit timid.

DD hasn't spent the night at my moms as we're usually just visiting there ourselves so we're all together, however, my sister lives in the same town and DNephew spends the night at G-mas all the time (he just turned 3 and has been spending the night since he was a baby.)

Edited to add: As a kid I spent at least one night almost every weekend at my grandparents and loved it!

 

[LuluLovesDisney]

Comment:

My parents are watching 5 of their grandkids this weekend (one brother has 2 kids, the other has two, and the third has one so far- all 5 are boys- ages 3, 10, 12, 12 and 13. ) Some will be here for 2 weeks, the others just for 3 1/2 days. Both I (Auntie Lulu) and my parents have watched my nephews (incl. sleepovers) since they were little. I can remember being about 15 and sleeping over my brother and SIL's to watch my infant nephew for 3 days while they went away for the weekend. I wish my grandparents had lived long enough for me to enjoy that time with them.

 

[2sweetangels]

Katelyn sleeps over at my mom's housr alot and she does just fine, my DD loves my mom and my sister who is 13. Now my 9 month old, NO she is the one going through the seperation anxiety, Katelyn never went through it.