OT - DD not sleeping through the night anymore! **UPDATE PAGE 6**

[crysplefty]

I can't remember if it was at my son's 9 month or 12 month checkup, but his pediatrician asked if he was waking up in the middle of the night. He told us that it wasn't uncommon for kids that age to start waking up again during the night. Luckily, he wasn't one of those kids.

 

[mjkacmom]

Well, I'll put on my flame suit - all of my kids went through phases of waking at night (3 slept through the night on their own by 3 months, 2 needed to be Ferberized at 6 months). Benadryl, 2 night in a row, always broke the waking cycle. I believe that good, solid sleep, is even more important than good nutrition, something children really need. BTW, I don't give tylenol unless the fever is at least 101, and the child is fussy, and do not have any cold/cough medication in the house, since it has been shown that it's not effective for children.

My kids went to bed at 8 (5 and 7 year olds still do), and up until the age of 3/4, had a nap from 1 - 3, and under 18 months old, 9 - 11, 2 - 4. I am now blessed with kids who sleep great!

 

[Jenvenza]

I'm sorry it really does rip your heart out. But keep in mind separation anxiety is a completely normal part of development. I'm a work at home mom just in the next room and my DD (1) flips out when I leave... Jeez she actually flips out when DH or I go to the bathroom for goodness sake. So it will pass..

Do you have any type of transitional item like a lovey? favorite stuffed animal, satin edged blanket? This might help her..not only at night..but maybe during the day as well?

My DD also flips out of I come home for lunch and have to run to the bathroom for a second.

She has her baby Minnie Mouse that she loves, but she is a sucker for any stuffed animal. But it seems like if she is having seperatin anxiety nothing helps her at the time. It has gotten very hard on all of us.

 

[Jenvenza]

DD loves her satin edged blanky. It's been her lovey since she was about a year old. She will rub the satin edge and it soothes her to sleep.

This is what I was trying to say in my first post. Find a lovey that your DD will form an attachment with. She can use that to soothe herself to sleep. So when she wakes up in the night she won't cry and wake you up, she'll just reach for her lovey and fall back asleep. In the beginning, you will still enter her room, hand her the lovey, rub her back, sing to her, or whatever. But it won't be playtime and it won't be meal time. She'll learn that it's still sleep time and eventually the night wakings will phase out again.

I think we actually have a stain edged blanky, so I will get that out and let her drag it around with her. Maybe it will help some.

 

[Jenvenza]

Trust me I understand....I think we all do. Our kids are our lives, and we want to be the best mommies we can be for them. Which I think makes us want to help when someone cries out for it. I think most of us earlier were just trying to say hey, this worked for us, you may want to try it. No one thinks you are a bad mommy, and no one is judging your parenting style. I'm guessing your baby's seperation anxiety has you feeling like the worst mom in the world, because I know that is how it made me feel, and that may have put you on the defense. But really though, I think you are a great mom and your baby is lucky to have such a caring mom. Many kids aren't so lucky!!! Please, don't think everyone is attacking you, we really are just trying to help. I know it's hard to hear the sincere tone through typing, but I would bet most of the posts are meant to be that way.

Thank you and I am sorry for being defensive to anyone. I feel horrible leaving her everyday. I go home for luch to see her, and I think it just makes it worse. Normally she is asleep when I leave in the morning, but today she woke up and I help her and talked to her and when I had to leave, she cried so hard. And I dont have a choice! I just have to walk out the door. Man, it is rough. That little girl is everything to me, and I have never had to do anything as hard as leaving her at home while I go to work. Luckily, my husband and I work different schedules, so one of us us always with her. But I wish I was there more.

 

[Jenvenza]

If you think she is teething you might want to try teething tablets. You can find them at walmart and grocery stores. My kids also have a hard time sleeping if they have a stuffy nose. A little elevation under the mattress works or some baby vicks.
It can be so frustrating when they sleep through the night then all of a sudden they don't. It's so hard to go back to those nights of being awake. She will sleep again-all night-you just have to make it through this tough time.

We bought teething tablets last night! I swore I felt a bump on her gums, and she was pretty fussy yesterday, so I tried them. They might have helped a little, but I couldnt really tell for sure.

 

[Jenvenza]

Well, I'll put on my flame suit - all of my kids went through phases of waking at night (3 slept through the night on their own by 3 months, 2 needed to be Ferberized at 6 months). Benadryl, 2 night in a row, always broke the waking cycle. I believe that good, solid sleep, is even more important than good nutrition, something children really need. BTW, I don't give tylenol unless the fever is at least 101, and the child is fussy, and do not have any cold/cough medication in the house, since it has been shown that it's not effective for children.

My kids went to bed at 8 (5 and 7 year olds still do), and up until the age of 3/4, had a nap from 1 - 3, and under 18 months old, 9 - 11, 2 - 4. I am now blessed with kids who sleep great!

I am not going to flame you because I dont agree with you. I know about the Ferber method, and that just would never work for us. But I know it does for a lot of people. What I didnt know, was that the Ferber Method says to give you kids Benadryl to get them to sleep! That is definitely not something I would be comfotable with. Sleep for me or good nutrition for my daughter? I would pick no sleep for me.

 

[mjkacmom]

I am not going to flame you because I dont agree with you. I know about the Ferber method, and that just would never work for us. But I know it does for a lot of people. What I didnt know, was that the Ferber Method says to give you kids Benadryl to get them to sleep! That is definitely not something I would be comfotable with. Sleep for me or good nutrition for my daughter? I would pick no sleep for me.

It wasn't about sleep for me, it was about sleep for my kids. If they are waking up during the night, they are not getting a good nights sleep, either.
Sleep patterns are interupted, and giving a bottle, for example, in the middle of the night, just makes the sleep disruptions continue. From my (vast) experience, it's better to get rid of the problem before it becomes an ongoing issue.

 

[Jenvenza]

It wasn't about sleep for me, it was about sleep for my kids. If they are waking up during the night, they are not getting a good nights sleep, either.
Sleep patterns are interupted, and giving a bottle, for example, in the middle of the night, just makes the sleep disruptions continue. From my (vast) experience, it's better to get rid of the problem before it becomes an ongoing issue.

Hey, if it works for you, go for it! I just could not give my baby Benadryl to make her go to sleep. Unless she had a reason to take the Benadryl. But, to each their own.

 

[perkinsrose]

I am not going to flame you because I dont agree with you. I know about the Ferber method, and that just would never work for us. But I know it does for a lot of people. What I didnt know, was that the Ferber Method says to give you kids Benadryl to get them to sleep! That is definitely not something I would be comfotable with. Sleep for me or good nutrition for my daughter? I would pick no sleep for me.

The "Ferber Method" is about your child being aware of being alone to fall asleep and self-soothe into sleep--it is not about drugging.

I'm not flaming anyone for using Benadryl in extreme or special cases with doctor suggestion. But didn't want people to think the Ferber method always goes hand in hand with Benadryl.

By the way, there is research that Benadryl actually causes hyperactivity in many children and could infact keep them awake-counterproductive.

My group of pediatricians is well-respected. They are cautious not to overdrug and over-prescribe antibiotics. However, my DS had severe bouts of croup years ago and needed trip to ER and steroids to quell one attack. His pediatrician (much to the shock of his nurse when i asked about dosage) suggested using Benadryl right before bed that might theoretically relax his throat enough to prevent an attack (croup cough usually flares at night). We did this once and no problems that night though maybe croup was on its way out by then? Many drugs can be used for reasons other than intended but i'd always want a medical opinion too.

 

[mjkacmom]

The "Ferber Method" is about your child being aware of being alone to fall asleep and self-soothe into sleep--it is not about drugging.

I'm not flaming anyone for using Benadryl in extreme or special cases with doctor suggestion. But didn't want people to think the Ferber method always goes hand in hand with Benadryl.

By the way, there is research that Benadryl actually causes hyperactivity in many children and could infact keep them awake-counterproductive.

My group of pediatricians is well-respected. They are cautious not to overdrug and over-prescribe antibiotics. However, my DS had severe bouts of croup years ago and needed trip to ER and steroids to quell one attack. His pediatrician (much to the shock of his nurse when i asked about dosage) suggested using Benadryl right before bed that might theoretically relax his throat enough to prevent an attack (croup cough usually flares at night). We did this once and no problems that night though maybe croup was on its way out by then? Many drugs can be used for reasons other than intended but i'd always want a medical opinion too.

The benadryl has nothing to do with the Ferber method - I just mentioned that, because I am not into attachment parenting. The point I was making was that about once or twice a year, my children, for whatever reason, began waking during the night, and when they continued, I felt it was better to get them back into a healthy sleep pattern. I have also heard about benadryl causing hyperactivity, but that was not the case with my children.

My twins suffer from RAD, and before we were prescribed steroids to keep at home, we've made that unpleasant ER trip when the nebulizer failed to work.

 

[perkinsrose]

Ferber Method overview

http://www.babycenter.com/0_the-ferber-method-demystified_7755.bc


This is a good book...

http://www.amazon.com/Solve-Your-Ch...bs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1216998807&sr=8-1

 

[Jenvenza]

The "Ferber Method" is about your child being aware of being alone to fall asleep and self-soothe into sleep--it is not about drugging.

I'm not flaming anyone for using Benadryl in extreme or special cases with doctor suggestion. But didn't want people to think the Ferber method always goes hand in hand with Benadryl.

By the way, there is research that Benadryl actually causes hyperactivity in many children and could infact keep them awake-counterproductive.

My group of pediatricians is well-respected. They are cautious not to overdrug and over-prescribe antibiotics. However, my DS had severe bouts of croup years ago and needed trip to ER and steroids to quell one attack. His pediatrician (much to the shock of his nurse when i asked about dosage) suggested using Benadryl right before bed that might theoretically relax his throat enough to prevent an attack (croup cough usually flares at night). We did this once and no problems that night though maybe croup was on its way out by then? Many drugs can be used for reasons other than intended but i'd always want a medical opinion too.

I understand now. I dont know enough about the ferber Method, so I thought maybe it was saying to drug your kids if they need to go to sleep!

I never thought about using Benadryl to relax the throat to help your son not cough. But that does make sense. But I imagine you never would have known if the doctor hadnt said something.

 

[Jenvenza]

The benadryl has nothing to do with the Ferber method - I just mentioned that, because I am not into attachment parenting. The point I was making was that about once or twice a year, my children, for whatever reason, began waking during the night, and when they continued, I felt it was better to get them back into a healthy sleep pattern. I have also heard about benadryl causing hyperactivity, but that was not the case with my children.

My twins suffer from RAD, and before we were prescribed steroids to keep at home, we've made that unpleasant ER trip when the nebulizer failed to work.

Attachment parenting has nothing to do with not giving Benadryl to your kids. While we try not to give any unnecessary medicine to our children, we do give them meds if the doctor tells us to. A couple months ago our doctor told us to give out daughter some allergy medicine that I would have NEVER thought I could do at such a young age, but it worked for her cold. Did you give you children Benadryl because the doctor told you to?

 

[Jenvenza]

Ferber Method overview

http://www.babycenter.com/0_the-ferber-method-demystified_7755.bc


This is a good book...

http://www.amazon.com/Solve-Your-Ch...bs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1216998807&sr=8-1

Ferber does the CIO, which isnt for us. But does the other book you posted? I couldnt tell.

 

[mjkacmom]

Attachment parenting has nothing to do with not giving Benadryl to your kids. While we try not to give any unnecessary medicine to our children, we do give them meds if the doctor tells us to. A couple months ago our doctor told us to give out daughter some allergy medicine that I would have NEVER thought I could do at such a young age, but it worked for her cold. Did you give you children Benadryl because the doctor told you to?

My doctor said to use benadryl for flying, another off label use. She's very laid back - I can't imagine I never mentioned it to her in conversation. I'm not the type of parent who calls up the pediatrican for everything - I have weathered every single childhood illness multiple times, so except for checkups, I rarely have contact with the office (I only take the kids in if I suspect strep or an ear infection, and with the ear infection I wait a few days, since 80% are viral, and clear up without needing antibiotics).

 

[perkinsrose]

Ferber does the CIO, which isnt for us. But does the other book you posted? I couldnt tell.

Ferber does NOT promote "cry it out" --read the 3 pages in the link above and this clarifies it somewhat. He does not believe in shutting bedroom door and letting child cry indefinately and does not recommend for newborns. The Ferber method is a gentle, gradual approach to teach child self-soothing. I think teaching a child to fall asleep on their own is a gift--one of the few things they don't have to be dependent on parent for. Teaching older babies & toddlers to get a full nights sleep and healthy sleep habits sets stage for rest of life's sleep habits.

The book describes classic Ferber method which is laying down child when drowsy after nighttime routine (like bath, books, bottle, bed) but not yet sleeping. If child cries out, wait 1 minute and go in and reassure by patting back, etc. and then leave, next time wait 2 minutes, next time wait 3 minutes, etc. until child falls asleep. Book also mentions another method of staying in room next to crib one night while child falls asleep, then next night moving 2feet away from crib, next night 2 more feet closer to door until eventually child is used to falling asleep with you out of room. Ofcourse all these methods work only with commitment & consistency.

I think i read in that book too that bedtime environment should match that of middle of the night. For example, if you're in the room with lamp on and music, child will become used to falling asleep that way and have a hard time if they wake in middle of night with noone there, darkness and silence. All people/kids do wake up for short periods during night--must learn to quickly fall back asleep to get a healthy rest. Though obvious deviations with sickness and change of routine like on vacation.

For the most part, my kids slept through night since 4 months old -- I read Ferber but never really needed to Ferberize. I started laying my babies down drowsy with full bellies, after warm bath and books very early on and they both learned sleep habits early. One self-soothed with thumbsucking and the other had a pacifie for a year or so which i'm sure helped during teething. One had a blanket "lovie" and the other a tiny winnie the pooh bear.

I do know sleep deprevation though--breastfeeding during those first 3 months was rough--i was the human pacifier every 2 hours. DS's ear infections (before ear tubes at 15 months) made him sleep only 1/2 hour increments during bad ones. I'm so relieved those rough years are gone. I loved being a mom to babies but soooo enjoying the opportunity for full nights sleep with school age kids!

 

[perkinsrose]

My doctor said to use benadryl for flying, another off label use. She's very laid back - I can't imagine I never mentioned it to her in conversation. I'm not the type of parent who calls up the pediatrican for everything - I have weathered every single childhood illness multiple times, so except for checkups, I rarely have contact with the office (I only take the kids in if I suspect strep or an ear infection, and with the ear infection I wait a few days, since 80% are viral, and clear up without needing antibiotics).

I don't like to use antibiotics. I wish could wait a few days--i read they're usually viral too. But DS pulled out half his hair from ear infection pain as a toddler despite using Ibuprofin & Tylenol often (before ear tubes in place) and now has so much scar tissue from recurrent infections--i just go right in for the antibiotics to be sure nip it right away. I hope i'm not contributing to the problem of antibiotic resisitance.

I wish I could weather alot of things better! Last week i went into the dr. for what i knew was probably an mosquito bite though i couldn't find a "bite"--but my DD's eye was swollen shut. I needed that reassurance from the Dr. that it was just a bug bite--she said use Benadryl and should go down in a day or so. Fortunately, i have "good" insurance and a dr. visit costs me only a $10 copay. I'm much more confident than those baby days though! I think the hardest part of parenting is wondering if you're doing the right thing.

 

[Maggie'sMom]

Thank you and I am sorry for being defensive to anyone. I feel horrible leaving her everyday. I go home for luch to see her, and I think it just makes it worse. Normally she is asleep when I leave in the morning, but today she woke up and I help her and talked to her and when I had to leave, she cried so hard. And I dont have a choice! I just have to walk out the door. Man, it is rough. That little girl is everything to me, and I have never had to do anything as hard as leaving her at home while I go to work. Luckily, my husband and I work different schedules, so one of us us always with her. But I wish I was there more.

It happens to all of us at some point or another. We feel guilty for leaving them and then we get defensive, short-tempered, moody, and all that other stuff. This age is really hard. When DD was an infant, I worked just a couple buildings down from where the daycare was. I went almost everyday to nurse her and cuddle at lunchtime. Then when she was around 11 months, she stopped wanting to nurse at lunch when she was at daycare. It made me so sad. She'd nurse in the morning and evenings fine. She'd nurse in the middle of the day during weekends, but just not when she was at daycare. I think she was just way too interested in all the fun the other kids were having to stop and spend that cuddle time with mommy.

For a while I still went and ate lunch with her. It wasn't quite the same because she was now drinking from a cup exclusively, no more bottles, and was eating tablefood. But I still enjoyed it. Then came the separation anxiety. Oh dear! It became torture for me to leave because she'd scream and cling onto me. She was always fine when I left her in the morning. Boy, in the morning, it was as if I didn't exist when I dropped her off because she was just way too excited to play with her friends, but not when I tried to leave after lunch. It got to the point where I just had to stop going for lunch because I'd go back to work feeling worse than before. It improved eventually, but she still gets a little sad when I have to leave after going for lunch. I can't do it very often now because my office has moved and I can't walk there anymore. Plus, she's moving to a new school in a couple weeks and then I won't be able to go at all. My little baby is starting a pre-K program at a full-fledged elementary school. It seems like it was just yesterday when I held her for the first time.

 

[Jenvenza]

Well, guess what??

We have a tooth!!! Last night we went to go see a friend and her baby and I was telling her I thought she was teething, but hadnt seen anything yet, and she said she wanted to look and see. So, she did and what did she see??? One bottom tooth poking through!! I cannot believe she has finally gotten a tooth! And 3 weeks before her 1st birthday! My big girl!