OT DD and SIL FINALLY signed the separation papers.

[Tiggerlovinggrandma]

Well its official as of yesterday, My daughter and SIL are leagally separated. They finally agreed on among other things a visatation arrangement for their DS that works for them. Here are the basics:

They will share "Joint Physical Custody". DGS will be with DD 4 days and SIL 3 days one week, the following week DGS will be with DD 3 days and SIL 4. They will alternate week to week.

Holidays will be spent jointly. They have done this since DS was born up til now and it works. For ex: DGS spends Christmas morning and breakfast with SIL's family and mid afternoon and dinner with DD and her family.

Birthdays will be spent together with both families participating.

Vacations and Special Events will be worked out as needed.

DGS will attend school when the time comes in the city DD is living in and the visitation agreement will be amended at that time giving more days/hrs every week to DD so as not to interrupt child's daily school scheduled.

All DGS's expenses from medical, insurance, dental, school, clubs, sports, prom, graduation, etc thorugh tiland including college will be divided egually amiong DD and SIL. .

DD is taking with her everything that was hers before the marriage as well as everything that any member of her family gave to their son (furn, baby gear, clothing, toys, books, DVD's, baby albums, bibles, etc). They will split equally marital property such as kitchen ware, funiture, etc. SIl will keep his house and the car as well as his share of the debt. DD will keep her 3 credit cards and any debt she owes on them.

SIL also had added to the agreement that they are both free to date or engage in a new relationship, etc effective immediately and there will be no repercussions steming from it

I guess for the most part they are trying to be as fair as possible. Its whatever works out best for them. DH and I have learned that this is her and SIL's decision not ours. They need to make the rules. DD will file for divorce sometime next year when she is legally able too.

SIL has as of yesterday told everyone he knows family & friends that he is no longer married. He has changed his status on Facebook and My Space as well to single and no longer married. I guess he just couldn't wait.

DD on the other hand has not told any of our family and has chosen up til now to tell only a few very close friends what has been happening. However she knows she needs to let others know asap and waiting further won't make it any easier. She is wondering just how she should to go about informing them, the family especially.

Should she call or write each one?

Or

Should she send out a basic statement either by email or snail mail to everyone all at once?

She will be seeing al lot of her family and friends in Sept when we go on vacation.

As for me, I vote for the email stating something basic and to the poiint, telling everyone that she and her husband have separated and when and if she wishes to further discuss the details, she will. In the meantime asking for their continued support and prayers for her and her son. To me this way relieves her of having to go through huge conversations with each member or friend, having to answer a lot of questions she may not wish to at this time.

I would like to get other opinions on this if I can. What would you do?

 

[badblackpug]

Let it go "word of mouth." Really no need to make and announcement. If you tel a few family member, then they will tell a few, and so on. When people ask for a reason, it is simply..."it just didn't work out."

 

[tadamom]

I agree with badblackpug, word of mouth is probably the best idea.

 

[cheshireqt]

Divorce is rough on everyone. I am sure you are sad, mad, worried etc as well. Your DD is showing a lot of class in not making as big show of being single like SIL is.
My opinion: I think I would let her handle her divorce and announcement of it as she sees fit, which seems to be just telling the few friends that she needs for support. By September the word will most likely have made it around to others...although please understand that I do not want to make you feel bad in anyway, it is obvious you are just trying to be supportive and proactive in supporting your DD and minimizing her discomfort in Sept.