OT: dd almost 10 and s*x education in grade 5

[toesmom]

I don't remember doing health education about s*x until grade 9, but then I was in private catholic school for grades 6-8. When do most kids start classes about this subject (ie grade 5, 6 or 7?) and how much detail was discussed?

I would have opted out, didn't know it was an option, but dd9 mentioned how that word was used many times in her first health class on friday. Grades 5 and 6 girls, some like my dd are probably 2 years younger than the grade 6 girls.

Is it too young? I mean I don't want her (she still thinks tooth fairy and santa are real) having vivid images of things that she really shouldn't be thinking about at this age.

There's probably alot of opinions, but she still plays with bratz dolls and build a bear dolls. The most she's ever seen on tv is a kiss on one of the family channel shows.

I don't think I'm a prude, but when she mentioned "Miss .... said sometimes it hurts...." well my jaw just about dropped off.

I think I need to talk to the teacher, but regardless I don't think I want her learning about this stuff quite yet. I think 12-13 is a more appropriate age.

She will turn 10 next month, and she is still a child. And she goes to a private christian school.

Your thoughts?

 

[koolaidmoms]

I don't think I'm a prude, but when she mentioned "Miss .... said sometimes it hurts...." well my jaw just about dropped off.

I think I need to talk to the teacher, but regardless I don't think I want her learning about this stuff quite yet. I think 12-13 is a more appropriate age.

She will turn 10 next month, and she is still a child. And she goes to a private christian school.

Your thoughts?

I agree you need to talk to the teacher and get a copy of the syllabus. What they are going to be discussing and in what terms - protection, abstinence, etc... At least it is a christian school so hopefully they will be sensitive.

I am a prude. My DD is 8. We are waiting until she is 11 or until she starts asking some serious questions. I plan on when the time comes if she has a S. ed. Class that I will sit her down first and tell her the facts and our view of what is appropriate, inappropriate, when and why. I want her to hear it first from me. If she asks questions we answer her honestly but not giving anymore information than what she is asking for.

Good Luck!

 

[singlefan]

I teach 6th grade, and kids in my school start the "talk" in fifth grade. The boys and girls are seperated for this class, so they feel a little more comfortable asking questions.

One thing you need to consider is that even though you think of her as a "child", her body is already preparing to be a woman. I'd say that about a third of my girls have started their cycles when I first see them in the fall, but by June it's more like 3/4ths of them.

 

[two-foxes]

When I was in Catholic grade school in the early 80's, we had that "class" in sixth grade. I am not surprised it is moved down to the 5th grade now, considering what children are exposed to these days, even compared to 20 some odd years ago. My oldest is a whole 17 months, so I am a bit frightened to think when he will be having that taught to him in school...

 

[Ephany]

We had sex ed in 6th grade and that was in the 80's. I personally don't think 5th grade is too early to be broaching the topic these days unfortunately. My 13 year old neighbor mentioned the other day that there are multiple pregnant girls in her middle school (6th, 7th, and 8th grades).

 

[genius118899]

My Catholic school taught an abstinence only approach in 5th and 6th grade. Some parts of the class were taught jointly, and for some parts the boys and girls were separated.

 

[rie'smom]

My son had this class in the 5th grade in a Catholic school in 1987. Both of my younger children also had sex ed in the 5th grade. By this time, they've heard the playground version, so if they haven't asked questions, it isn't because they don't have any. I think that it's a good subject because, especially in this case, knowledge is power.

 

[princessmom29]

I teach high school and i think you are asking for trouble by leaving it untill then. By then she will have gotten bad/wrong info from her friends no matter how careful you are and what kind of friends you think she has. Someone will tell her something.By the time kinds get to high school they tend to think they know it all and don't listen. I really feel like it is better to get them the correct info before they even start considering it. Probably 70% of our pregnant teens are ninth and tenth graders. Once they get older they think more about actions and consequences, and many fewer get pregnant. As much as we don't want our kids to grow up it is necessary that they get the correct information about STD's, protecting themselves, and abstinence. I have so many pregnant teens who got pregnant because the had wrong information. So and so told me I wouldn't get pregant if I did __________. I have heard it all and that sad truth is that a 13-15 year old just doesn't have the capacity to consider the long term consequences of that one action. They get pressured by an older boyfriend, or think they can keep a boyfriend by doing it. By arming them with information and fostering self worth we vkeep them from making bad decisions. I think not addressing it at all until they reach high school is catching the problem way too late.

 

[momx2]

I gave my DD "The Care and Keeping of You" from American Girl when she was 8. We read through it together and she studied it alone and asked me many questions, which I answered.

Then when she was around 9 1/2 she asked me about sex. I explained it to her. I will say that her having read the book was great because I could talk about certain parts of the body and she had a reference and knew what I was basically talking about.

Now, this is a girl who at the age of almost 11 won't even say the word passionate (this came from a book. she read where someone was passionately kissing, showed me and made dad leave the room to discuss) in front of her father. She is not into boys as boyfriends, she'd rather wrestle or play ball with them. She is curious though and kids do start talking on the playground and at school in 4th or 5th grade.

I would rather my DD hear it from me, not the playground or sex ed. I will let her attend sex ed, not offered in her 5th grade. I'm glad we talked because she now comes to me with her questions instead of someone else.

 

[Principessa1284]

I distinctly remember taking it in 5th grade (1994? 95?), about halfway through the year. It was a mixed, public school class, and they just taught us the basics. Insert A into B, and then 9 months later you have baby C. I don't remember learning about protection, though they may have just mentioned it.. it was more of an anatomy lesson than anything else. It was 8th grade health where we really got into the nitty gritty about everything.

 

[Darsa]

I have been informed by DD13 that she knows everything already I also gave her the American Girl book "The Care and Keeping of You" when she was 9, and I think that it taught both her and her cousin (who's older by 2 months) a lot about what to expect. Certainly made the upcoming changes a lot easier!

I fully agree that keeping an open line of communication with your child is vitally important, and in this day and age of younger and younger kids (and famous role-models!!) dressing like they're for sale and getting pregnant, that 8 and 9 years old is by no means too young to start talking about it and answering questions.

I also understand schools passing this information on, because there are a surprising amount of parents out there who aren't informing their kids, and they'll learn it the playground way, or the hard way.

 

[Schmeck]

Gosh, my kids were asking questions (where do babies come from?) and getting honest answers from me before they were even 5 years old. Sex ed in middle school just reinforced everything I had already told them. Take the mystery out of all of it, and young kids don't see it as all that interesting once everything is explained.

I hope they tell the girls that if a boy pressures you to have sex to prove that you love him, it means he doesn't love you at all.

 

[PattnFmly]

We don't have formal classes at school for this at the present time, but I've come up on DS 9 and his two male friends, both 10, and the things I've overheard made me blush! He will ask me things privately and I answer honestly, but if this is the playground advice stuff - bring on the classes! Classes may cover things I don't think of and I can reinforce the good values parts. I didn't really think I'd hear quite so much from 9&10 yo's but gee, they are talking!

 

[Starr W.]

Geez, I remember 'health' class in 5th grade back in the 1970's. My son had it last yr in 5th grade. I remember my mother going for the parent meeting, we had one also.

The really talked a lot about puberty and what to expect(single sex classes). I think he'll get more this year in 6th grade.

 

[disneybound2010]

I remember being in 6th grade(1990) when we had our 1st sex ed. class. My DM and DF(yes,both parents together) had already sat me down and explained quite a bit to me before this class so I did have a pretty good grasp on it all. Everything discussed was pretty basic and not overly explicit.

I also remember there being two girls in my 7th grade class that were pregnant. They didn't think it could happen to them because they had "heard" that they couldn't get pregnant the first time and since they weren't even in high school(cuz thats when everyone has sex) they were only practicing so it wasn't REAL sex Yeah, these are the thigns young children believe.

I understand that you do not want your baby growing up. I have a little one and I don't want to think about anything like that with him, BUT we also live in a world that isn't so innocent and I want him to know the truth and facts so that he doesn't end up in a position that he isn't ready for or didn't understand could happen.

 

[DisneyGirl4188]

I don't think 9 is too young at all. I have an 11 yr old brother (he is 16 years younger than me) and he has known about sex for a while now. He would ask me questions, because he felt more comfortable than asking our mom. A lot of kids are like that. I knew about sex from an early age, but a lot of what I knew did not come from my mom (she was a bit of a prude, but has started to loosen up).

Just because he asked questions, doesn't mean he is any less of a kid. He would ask me a question then go back to playing with his action figures.

It's a sad fact, but many kids are having sex at 12 (or younger). If you wait until then to teach her, it may be too late.

My child is only 8 months old, but we plan on educating him early. Now, I won't be breaking out the porn at age 5 , but I do think he needs to have a basic understanding that we expand on as he grows.

 

[mjkacmom]

Our school is 5th for basic, 8th for EVERYTHING (kids dread it). They separate the boys and girls, and talk about body changes, menstruation for the girls, nighttime emmisions for the boys, hormones, grooming... That's what I got from my kids, since they don't tell the parents anything. In dd12's class, she heard one boy actually cried -guesss his parents dropped the ball! By 5th grade, I've educated my kids about pretty much everything having to do with sex ed, so it's nothing for them.

 

[mjkacmom]

Gosh, my kids were asking questions (where do babies come from?) and getting honest answers from me before they were even 5 years old. Sex ed in middle school just reinforced everything I had already told them. Take the mystery out of all of it, and young kids don't see it as all that interesting once everything is explained.

I hope they tell the girls that if a boy pressures you to have sex to prove that you love him, it means he doesn't love you at all.

LOL - I've been telling dd12, since she was 10, that boys will say anything to you to get you to have sex, they say they love you and they don't, and no matter what they tell you, they will tell their friends everything (and I have DH back me up on this). Thank goodness I was smart enough to open these lines of communication early - even though she's 12, and never even kissed a boy, we still have open, comfortable conversations about sex. However, I see the walls closing around her - if this window hadn't already been open, there's no way I'd be able to start now!

 

[The Disney Bunch]

I am in my 40's & we had modified sex education class in 5th grade - the boys went to their side & the girls to their side. I think it is a good time to start talking about those things.

 

[Starr W.]

It's a sad fact, but many kids are having sex at 12 (or younger). If you wait until then to teach her, it may be too late.

My neighbor is a middle school principal in the next district over. Yep, kids having sex on the bus coming back from a football game.