OT-Daughter assaulted on the school bus

[Steph9072]

I would make a report with the police. Not to get the other kids in legal trouble. BUT because the bus driver knew about it and did nothing. At the minimum the driver should have told your husband. But I would have thought the driver would have had to report it to a supervisor who should have called you. I would be in the principal office first thing Monday. I would take your daughter as well as the kid who was next to her I would make sure that the kids are dealt with appropriately. I don’t know what state you are in. But most states have an anti bulling law and the school has to protect you daughter and punish those who are doing it. I would also go to the transportation dept. and talk to the superintendent of transportation. I would demand that discipline action be taken against the bus driver. For not telling your husband and not stopping it. Had the driver stepped in when the girl slapped her then the boy would never have been able to hit her. I would also get in touch the parents of the kids who hid you daughter requesting you be reimburse for your medical bills. I would do it by phone. If no response then by certified mail. If that doesn’t work small claims.

I am so sorry this has happened to you daughter. I hope that the higher ups at school and the transportation dept. takes charge so this is not an on going thing.

Take care of you!

 

[ajk912]

OP here:

Thanks for all of your replies, I've been reading them all. We are going to the school first thing tomorrow morning and demanding to talk to the principal. My daughter is doing better, but I don't know how she is going to react to going to school tomorrow and being in the same class as this boy. My daughter did tell me that the boy's big sister was also on the bus and told him "Stop punching that little girl, or you are going to get grounded", plus there was a safety patrol girl on the bus who witnessed it and said she was going to have to write him up next time. (next time.....which is besides the point) So there were more witnesses.

ajk912: I understand your position. Yes, there was another child involved in the hitting, but the other child did not cause the concussion. It was a direct result of the punches to the top of her head. And, yes, I agree that usually something must have provoked the attack when this kind of thing happens, but we have asked over and over, and not once has my DD or her friend given any other story than these kids were teasing her and she said "stop" and they decided to punch her. My DD has *never* had problems in school. She is not the type to go around picking a fight.

I am totally against ever bringing lawsuits against people, but the plain and simple fact is I would not have been in the ER Friday night if it wasn't for this boy. Therefore, his parents or the school is responsible for whatever costs I may have incurred. If my DD in any way had any responsibility for this, I would think twice. But she didn't.

Also, after talking to my little sister who still goes to the high school out here, there *are* cameras in the bus. So I will have proof that this happened thank goodness.

I also spoke with my next door neighbor (who volunteers alot at the school) about this, and she is horrified. She doesn't let her kids ride the bus any more because of problems she has had on the bus. She also stated that she knows who the kid is who did this to my DD, and said "good luck getting them to pay for it". Apparently the kid's parents just got divorced a year or so ago, and they live with their mom who is single. This boy has had multiple incidents with acting out and rage ending him up in the principals office. And his big sister who told him to stop hitting my DD came to lunch several times last year without money in her account, so she couldn't eat lunch (but my DD's school always offers a PB&J to the kids who don't have $ for lunch). She said to my neighbor "my mom can't afford to pack a lunch for me". I really feel for this mom's situation, but that doesn't excuse his behavior. I am even more inclined to press charges since this is a pattern. Apparently, my dd is just one of the many kids he has decided to pick on. This boy needs some major counselling. And maybe this will be a wakeup call to his mom.

Thanks again for listening. I will keep you all posted.

Please keep us updated. That little boy needs serious help, considering this is not an isolated occasion. He sounds like he needs more help than just the school can provide. They have schools like that around here..for kids with anger management/emotional issues. Hopefully you guys have the same, so this boy can get some help before he ends up even worse off. This is not a good pattern!!! Hopefully when you go to the principal that's enough of a straw breaking the camel's back that the kid gets transferred elsewhere...

Hugs, and good luck. I am sooo sorry this happened.

 

[disykat]

I have to comment again on "the bus driver knew about it." I'm still not sure he/she did. OP said her dd said she told the bus driver. However, that could mean anything from her having an actual conversation about it with the driver to her trying to tell the bus driver at the same time 4 other kids were and getting a "tomorrow we're going to assign seats" as a generic answer.

I'm guessing there's a possibility the bus driver has no idea what occured.

 

[eeyore3847]

OP here:
I also spoke with my next door neighbor (who volunteers alot at the school) about this, and she is horrified. She doesn't let her kids ride the bus any more because of problems she has had on the bus. She also stated that she knows who the kid is who did this to my DD, and said "good luck getting them to pay for it". Apparently the kid's parents just got divorced a year or so ago, and they live with their mom who is single. This boy has had multiple incidents with acting out and rage ending him up in the principals office. And his big sister who told him to stop hitting my DD came to lunch several times last year without money in her account, so she couldn't eat lunch (but my DD's school always offers a PB&J to the kids who don't have $ for lunch). She said to my neighbor "my mom can't afford to pack a lunch for me". I really feel for this mom's situation, but that doesn't excuse his behavior. I am even more inclined to press charges since this is a pattern. Apparently, my dd is just one of the many kids he has decided to pick on. This boy needs some major counselling. And maybe this will be a wakeup call to his mom.

Thanks again for listening. I will keep you all posted.

I just wanted to say I feel for your situation. The bus was a nightmare for me all through growing up. I had glasses and that was all kids needed to pick on me for. It is terrible.
I think you should not feel sorry for the moms situation at all. I think once there is charges and a guilty plea by law there is restitution. which will ahve to be paid, and if not, they can garnish wages. It stinks to take it to that level but honestly her sons behavior is her responsibility till he is 18! Maybe this will help the family to get him some much needed help.
I am so sorry and please keep us updated!

 

[kismet1003]

Hi. I work for a student accident insurance company and just want you to know that through your school's compulsory school time coverage, travel to & from school is covered under the plan. It depends on your specific school district, what type of coverage they have purchased, but they do have it. Most schools have a full excess plan, which means the bills would have to go through your primary insurance coverage first than we would consider the balance on charges. In this case, your deductible would be considered by the school insurance.
Again, it all depends on coverage purchased by your school for the specific benefits, but please be sure you ask them about it and you can PM me with any questions. We may even carry your school district at my company!!

 

[DisneyKT]

I know where we live our school has zero tolerance. I believe the boy could get suspended or expelled. The girl suspended also. I would also request that the boy be removed from your child's class. The bus driver should be fired also. I hope everything goes well for you and your DD.

 

[michael's mom]

How horrible for your poor daughter. As a first grade teacher I can tell you that first, you should definitely be at the principals office on Monday. You have the police report, bring that with you. Also, just because this occured on the bus does not mean that the school should not be involved. The school is responsible for the children until they get off of the bus. What you should find out is whether or not the school department actually oversees the bus drivers. In our district, the schools contract out the transportation to a company. That way, they don't pay fuel or repair costs, or the benefits for the drivers.

I am not surprised that the bus driver wasn't fired for the incident in 1st grade, but I would hope that she was reprimanded.

If you do not get anywhere with the principal, then you should contact the superintendent, but give the principal the opportunity to work with you first.

I would also address the family of the boy seperately regarding the medical bills. Have the school handle disciplinary actions (which he will most likely be suspended/expelled from bus privileges). The school shouldn't be handling the legal aspect between you and the other family.

I am so sorry that this happened to your daughter. She is probably terrified to return to school. Hopefully, she won't have to see this boy in school.

 

[luvmy2sams]

I hope that the principal responds accordingly when you speak with him/her tomorrow morning. I have a 9-year-old daughter that sounds very similar to yours, and I was heartsick as I read your original post. I can't even imagine what you all have been through in the past several days.

I wouldn't let the mom's current lot in life deter me one bit. It sounds like this boy's behavior needs to be nipped in the bud before it escalates even further. Regardless of what anyone else on this thread has said, I believe that parents are responsible for their children's actions in cases like this. Parents who don't step up to the plate and do their jobs are part of the problem in this world today.

It's possible that the bus driver didn't have a clue what was going on during the bus ride. Depending on the size of the bus and the noise level I can see how the driver could really be in the dark about what was going on as they were concentrating (hopefully) on the road.

I hope your daughter has a good day at school tomorrow and is eventually able to put this behind her, and I hope that the principle rises to the occasion!

 

[CoffeeCup]

I've been involved in education for nearly 40 years...38 as a full-time classroom teacher and 2 as a part-time teacher in a special program. The first thing you need to do is to contact your principal today. Do not contact the superintendent yet, because he won't talk to you about the matter. There is a proper chain of command starting with the principal and then leading to the superintendent if the principal does not deal with the matter appropriately. Don't be upset if the principal can't see you today, but call or go by the school, explain the situation to an assistant principal or the receptionist if the principal isn't available, and ask for an appointmet as soon as possible.

For all of you parents who want the bus driver fired...maybe she should be fired, but also consider how difficult it is in most areas to find bus drivers. The job pays little, the bus driver rarely has any authority over students except to turn the bus around and take all of the students back to school for an administrator to deal with the problem. That results in students being taken home late, parents worried about why their child isn't at home, etc. As for putting a bus monitor on the bus, stop and think about that idea, too. A parent volunteer would not have any authority over children on the bus and simply could tell them to stop. If the child doesn't stop the misbehavior, we're back to turning the bus around and taking everyone back to school. If a parent monitor or bus driver touched someone else's child, he could be sued for assault. Teachers have responsibilities at school when students leave...remediation, meetings, etc. If you are in a state where teachers have a union, it probably is not in their contract that they ride buses every day before and after school, and the principal could not require them to do so. School buses have always been a problem and probably always will be.

 

[KAMLEM]

She certainly can. As a parent, you are responsible for your child's actions, even if you are not present. I would guess that the insurance company could come after the family for the full amount.

If your child vandalized property, you would certainly be responsible for the repair/replacement - why not more so with a physical injury?

That's not true, it depends on what state you live in. In some states, parents are entirely responsible, but in many they are not. It also depends on what the incident is. If the parents are not held liable, you can file a claim against the child, and it can be renewed until they are an adult. Sometimes the parents end up paying because they don't want a judgment hanging over their child.

 

[pigget74]

Please let us know how it went this morning.

 

[surfergirl602]

OMG! First, I hope that your daughter is feeling better. And second, I would be on the phone with the supt's office!!!!

 

[tonilea]

That's not true, it depends on what state you live in. In some states, parents are entirely responsible, but in many they are not. It also depends on what the incident is. If the parents are not held liable, you can file a claim against the child, and it can be renewed until they are an adult. Sometimes the parents end up paying because they don't want a judgment hanging over their child.

Even if you aren't always legally liable for your child's actions, IMO you certainly are morally.

 

[mjlewis23]

We spoke to the principal this morning. She was very sympathetic, as I figured she would be. I really do like her. Our school does not yet have a zero tolerance policy, so her hands are tied at that. However, based on the code of conduct, his behavior will call for a suspension and the girl who slapped my daughter will also face removal of all privledges such as recess, lunch in the cafeteria, etc. The principal is interviewing the children who were witnesses to this incident to get all of the facts straight, and will call me today when she is done with that.

The boy did not come to school today. The principal thinks that the sheriff's dept may have paid his house a visit. I went to the police dept right after the school to see if I could get a copy of the report that was sent there, and they didn't have it. My police dept is *very* small, only 10 officers on the force, so after hours, all calls go to the county sheriff's dept. Anyways, I have a call in to the sheriff's dept to get the report.

BUT....when I was there talking to the police secretary, she told me that this boy had another report against him for fighting with another boy on 10/23. How bad does the fight have to be for police to be called?!? So now that I know there is a police history already, I will be pressing charges for sure. It's my responsibility as a parent to make sure this or something worse doesn't happen to some other little girl or boy.

Also, the principal said that the school's insurance won't cover the medical costs for an assault, and that we should pursue that with the parents. So, looks like we are definitely heading to court if the parents do not cooperate.

The principal asked my dd how she felt about going back to school and she said "I feel kinda nervous". When the principal asked what she was nervous about, she said "I'm nervous that *boy's name* will hit me again". I really teared up then. We asked her again this morning "Are you *sure* nothing else happened than what you are telling us b/c we are going to get the videotape from the bus and we can see what happened. So if you said anything mean, you have to tell us" And she said "No mommy, I be nice to everyone, I don't know why they are so mean to me" My poor baby.

So, that's the update for now. Hopefully I'll know more later.

 

[mom2faith]

We spoke to the principal this morning. She was very sympathetic, as I figured she would be. I really do like her. Our school does not yet have a zero tolerance policy, so her hands are tied at that. However, based on the code of conduct, his behavior will call for a suspension and the girl who slapped my daughter will also face removal of all privledges such as recess, lunch in the cafeteria, etc. The principal is interviewing the children who were witnesses to this incident to get all of the facts straight, and will call me today when she is done with that.

The boy did not come to school today. The principal thinks that the sheriff's dept may have paid his house a visit. I went to the police dept right after the school to see if I could get a copy of the report that was sent there, and they didn't have it. My police dept is *very* small, only 10 officers on the force, so after hours, all calls go to the county sheriff's dept. Anyways, I have a call in to the sheriff's dept to get the report.

BUT....when I was there talking to the police secretary, she told me that this boy had another report against him for fighting with another boy on 10/23. How bad does the fight have to be for police to be called?!? So now that I know there is a police history already, I will be pressing charges for sure. It's my responsibility as a parent to make sure this or something worse doesn't happen to some other little girl or boy.

Also, the principal said that the school's insurance won't cover the medical costs for an assault, and that we should pursue that with the parents. So, looks like we are definitely heading to court if the parents do not cooperate.

The principal asked my dd how she felt about going back to school and she said "I feel kinda nervous". When the principal asked what she was nervous about, she said "I'm nervous that *boy's name* will hit me again". I really teared up then. We asked her again this morning "Are you *sure* nothing else happened than what you are telling us b/c we are going to get the videotape from the bus and we can see what happened. So if you said anything mean, you have to tell us" And she said "No mommy, I be nice to everyone, I don't know why they are so mean to me" My poor baby.

So, that's the update for now. Hopefully I'll know more later.

My heart is breaking for you. Keep us posted.

Gosh, I do not want my little girl to grow up!!!

Amy

 

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

I am so sorry for you and your DD! What an awful experience!

A boy threw a rock at my cousin's DD and hit her in the face. She had to have stitches and some dental work because of it, and the boy's parents DID have to pay for it. My cousin is an attorney so obviously that worked in their favor because she knew exactly what the laws were and what was required by the insurance and so forth.

I hope you are able to get things resolved and that your DD is OK.

 

[surfergirl602]

my heart is just breaking for your DD. No child should have to live in fear when going to school, etc. I hope that you get an update soon. Good luck with the bus tape. It will be hard to watch it, I'm sure. Just remember that you are an awesome parent and doing right by your DD. You are motivated and strong. Hugs to you and your family.

 

[pigget74]

I am so sorry that this is happening. Maybe this will force your school to get a zero tollerance policy started and enforced. Please keep us up to date.

 

[KAMLEM]

Even if you aren't always legally liable for your child's actions, IMO you certainly are morally.

I agree 100%.

 

[glesgalass]

OP I'm so pleased for your daughter that all the adults in her life are acting this way on her behalf. Good for you, and I'm glad the principal responded in a positive manner to this, too. I am a bit concerned though that someone in the police office felt it was Ok to discuss this boy's history with you? I know in this country they'd be in big trouble for that so it might be the same there. Might be best to keep that one under your hat!

I was thinking about you today, and your wee girl, I hope this all gets straightened out soon, and the other children get the help and guidance they need.