OT-Daughter assaulted on the school bus

[Luv Bunnies]

My son rides the bus to and from his special ed school. The bus rides are the part of his day that I worry about the most. If you think about it, bus rides are essentially unstructured and unsupervised. There's one driver and many kids. The driver should be concentrating on the road and these kinds of incidents are just waiting to happen. Lastly, bus drivers aren't always trained in the proper supervision of kids so chaos can happen. Still, none of these things provide an excuse for what happened to your DD. Even if the driver couldn't stop it while it was happening, he/she was obligated to file a report with the school district and inform your husband ASAP when he met the bus. There was clearly negligence in the way the situation was handled.

Something I keep recommending to my son's school is a bus monitor. A teacher or aide riding the bus could concentrate on safety and discipline while the driver concentrates on the road. It hasn't happened yet but I'm going to keep pushing for it.

 

[ajk912]

OP, I am extremely sorry this happened to you and your daughter. I would be devastated and beyond angry if that happened to me.

That being said, can the OP really sue the parents for her $1000 deductible? That scares the crap out of me when you think about it...just thinking about general life here.

Anyway, talk to the parents, and see if you can get more witnesses than just that little girl. Right now, it sounds like 2 against 2 (your daughter and her friend, and the two kids beating on her). There has to be more people..try to get them. Good luck!

 

[bumbershoot]

Is it out of line to expect his family to pay that? I looked up the cost of CT scans online, and the scan is $200-$400 alone, let alone my ER visit. Its not that I can't afford it, but their child assuaulted mine for no reason, I think they should have to pay.

Well, after the claim goes through your insurance, you will very likely get a letter from a company associated with your insurance company. That letter will ask if there is any other person that was the cause of the problem. Your answer to that letter will be YES, and you will put that information on there.

I don't know how your deductible will be taken care of, but the amount your insurance will pay after the deductible was taken care of will absolutely be taken to the family of this other kid; they will have the insurance company after them, b/c it's that family's responsibility.

 

[december]

I realize every school is different, but here you would contact the principal of your school 1st. The students would be in trouble with the school, probably suspended for up to a week, and also suspended from the bus. The school would be responsible for the medical costs, and they in turn could sue the families. That responsibility would not be on the victim's family.

I would raise all kinds of hell if this was my child OP!

 

[jboysen]

my husband who is in school right now studying to be a principle says that buses are just like being at school. so he said it is the school districts responsibilty. we are in mn, so it may be different in your state, but he says the school district should be responsible for your medical bills. he finished his law class last spring, if you need any advice you could pm me if you want. good luck with everything i hope your dd will be alright.

 

[tonilea]

That being said, can the OP really sue the parents for her $1000 deductible? That scares the crap out of me when you think about it...just thinking about general life here.

She certainly can. As a parent, you are responsible for your child's actions, even if you are not present. I would guess that the insurance company could come after the family for the full amount.

If your child vandalized property, you would certainly be responsible for the repair/replacement - why not more so with a physical injury?

 

[melancholywings]

The OP is awsome. You were so proactive, and I don't what I would have done.
I'd also push the school to get your DD counseling, for a 9 year old girl that can be a tramatic thing to go through.

 

[ajk912]

She certainly can. As a parent, you are responsible for your child's actions, even if you are not present. I would guess that the insurance company could come after the family for the full amount.

If your child vandalized property, you would certainly be responsible for the repair/replacement - why not more so with a physical injury?

Talking in generalities here..NOT trying to make the OP rethink her decision! Just had to put that disclaimer out there!

If someone vandalizes property they are 100% to blame. But if someone else hits another kid and causes injury? You don't have 100% blame any more..so I would think it's hard to hold someone 100% responsible. Just thinking out loud..there was another child involved in the hitting, all the kids were on the school bus which school busses are notorious for not having supervision, none of the kids involved (even the witnesses) went to the bus driver and said.."Hey, this boy is beating up this girl..", and if they DID, why didn't the busdriver pull over the bus immediately and split up the kids?!?!, SOMETHING must have provoked the attack (kids usually don't go out beating on each other for no reason..). I don't know, if I was the other parent..I would say, see ya in small claims court. I will give you some money towards your deductible, but this concussion/injury (the fact it got this far!) is certainly not ALL my fault. So no way am I paying 100% of the bill. Of course it goes without saying both kids bullying should be suspended from the bus, if not more.

Again..disclaimer again..I know this is America, and people sue about everything! I am NOOOT trying to make the OP feel bad. And I would go after the parent to recoup some costs as well. I don't know about the whole $1000 though, that's a bit much.

 

[glesgalass]

SOMETHING must have provoked the attack (kids usually don't go out beating on each other for no reason..). Of course it goes without saying both kids bullying should be suspended from the bus, if not more.

Again..disclaimer again..I know this is America, and people sue about everything! I am NOOOT trying to make the OP feel bad. And I would go after the parent to recoup some costs as well. I don't know about the whole $1000 though, that's a bit much.

I think you're way off the mark here, as you pointed out both kids were "bullying" OP's daughter, how can you say that she did "SOMETHING" to provoke the attack? Isn't a victim of crime, just that? Why would you insinuate that this child was in anyway to blame for what happened to her? Does that mean I or you have the right to beat someone up, just because they said, or did, or were something we don't like? Does that mean that a victim of rape "deserved" it by wearing a particular outfir etc.? do you see how unreasonable your comment is.

To everyone else, sorry to vent like this. but comments like this, in this day and age, really upset me. I would not excuse any person, child or adult from being violent to someone just because..., and if my child were being picked on, I have encouraged him (both of them actually) to stand up for themselves without violence, and if the other person were to turn violent, my child has my permission to defend themselves, but I would never condone striking the first blow, no matter what.

 

[toystorymom]

I just wanted to add that I'm sorry this happened and I am glad your daughter is ok.

The school bus (at least around here) is considered an extension of the school day and therefore, the same rules that apply at school also apply on the bus rides. The principal should be informed and she/he should decide enforce the appropriate discipline.

I guess I disagree about getting the bus driver fired unless you know for a fact that she saw the incident and did nothing to stop and/or report it. I can't even imagine trying to drive a large bus and monitor the behavior of 40 or so kids. I agree there should be aides or monitors on the busses if behavior is an issue. Remember how far away some of the kids on the bus are from the driver, and she is supposed to be looking ahead, not at what is going on behind her. My son was injured on the bus once (accident, not fight) and we had to go to the ER and he got stitches, this was his head too, had to watch for a concussion etc. The bus driver didn't see what happened. At first I was upset "how could she not have seen it?", but the more I thought about the reality of her job, I didn't blame her. The important thing was he was okay, and I'm glad your daughter is too.

 

[bellebud]

i just wanted to say how sorry i am this happened to your dd. I hope she's ok mentally as well as physically!

I'd pursue this to the ends of the earth if it were me!!! From the kids being punished as fully as possible (suspension, whatever!) to the families of the kids paying fully for all your costs (and let your insurance company go after them). And don't let the school brush this under the rug... I know our local public school was very much like that - didn't want the newspaper or anyone ever finding out about 'bad' stuff that happened - wanted to keep their *good* reputation, even at the expense of the students.

Please keep us updated as to what happens.

 

[MiniGirl]

Talking in generalities here..NOT trying to make the OP rethink her decision! Just had to put that disclaimer out there!

If someone vandalizes property they are 100% to blame. But if someone else hits another kid and causes injury? You don't have 100% blame any more..so I would think it's hard to hold someone 100% responsible. Just thinking out loud..there was another child involved in the hitting, all the kids were on the school bus which school busses are notorious for not having supervision, none of the kids involved (even the witnesses) went to the bus driver and said.."Hey, this boy is beating up this girl..", and if they DID, why didn't the busdriver pull over the bus immediately and split up the kids?!?!, SOMETHING must have provoked the attack (kids usually don't go out beating on each other for no reason..). I don't know, if I was the other parent..I would say, see ya in small claims court. I will give you some money towards your deductible, but this concussion/injury (the fact it got this far!) is certainly not ALL my fault. So no way am I paying 100% of the bill. Of course it goes without saying both kids bullying should be suspended from the bus, if not more.

Again..disclaimer again..I know this is America, and people sue about everything! I am NOOOT trying to make the OP feel bad. And I would go after the parent to recoup some costs as well. I don't know about the whole $1000 though, that's a bit much.

I understand that you're playing devil's advocate here, but your post is what I see as wrong in this country right now. Truth is, no matter how you spin it, the only people responsible for this girl's injuries (both physical and perhaps emotional) are the 2 children that inflicted them. The other children on the bus aren't, nor is the bus drver. Now, it could be argued these people are responsible for letting it continue as it did, but they are not responsible for the attack. Also, the OP's dd is certainly not. You say these things don't happen without provication, and perhaps you are right; but regardles, it does not give these children the right to bully this girl. Also, the provocation could be that this girl is smarter than the others and always scores higher on tests or maybe she is seen as a "goody two shoes" or "teacher's pet" because she does her work well and on time. Maybe it is something more, but apparently at that point in time there was no known provication.

Bottom line though.... we do know who is responsible for the injuries and they should face the consequences of their actions.

Again, I know you are playing devil's advocate and don't necessarily personally think this way. Unfortunately, there are those that do, and I disagree with them.

 

[december]

We all want to believe all kids are good and none would attack a child without some provocation. Sadly, I teach in the real world. Some kids are just plain mean. They get a victim in their sights, and they go full force against that child.

There is no reason for the op to be out one dime for this. Again I will say that the school has the responsibility to pay these bills, then the school can pursue legal action against the bullies. The school has insurance to cover this-the op and her family doesn't need the added stress of worrying about bills or a lawsuit. Contact the school, make your expectations clear, and let them handle it. If they won't, then pursue legal action. This would mean publicity, so they will probably handle it up front.

 

[momx2]

I haven't read the rest of the posts, but if the child was 9 or older I would press charges. This is very bad and it won't be the last time he does something like this. He also needs to be removed from that bus and possibly the school, at least for a short suspension. His acts were criminal. I wouldn't wait to talk to the parents.

 

[ajk912]

I think you're way off the mark here, as you pointed out both kids were "bullying" OP's daughter, how can you say that she did "SOMETHING" to provoke the attack? Isn't a victim of crime, just that? Why would you insinuate that this child was in anyway to blame for what happened to her? Does that mean I or you have the right to beat someone up, just because they said, or did, or were something we don't like? Does that mean that a victim of rape "deserved" it by wearing a particular outfir etc.? do you see how unreasonable your comment is.

To everyone else, sorry to vent like this. but comments like this, in this day and age, really upset me. I would not excuse any person, child or adult from being violent to someone just because..., and if my child were being picked on, I have encouraged him (both of them actually) to stand up for themselves without violence, and if the other person were to turn violent, my child has my permission to defend themselves, but I would never condone striking the first blow, no matter what.

Like I said..I was just talking in generalities and there were about 8 reasons why I would not pay the entire $1000 deductible if I was the other parent. Maybe that reason doesn't apply, I don't know, I wasn't there (of course!) I didn't say the kids should get off scot-free, they should definitely be punished. I was just saying why if I was the parent I wouldn't pay the entire deductible, but I would pay a part of it. I do agree there is no reason to hit others ..ever. I do teach my all my kids that, and when their friends are over, too, I am always breaking up fights..ugh, that's what 7-9 year olds do. But of course this was more than an average fight of course! It's scary though..I have a 9 year old and I don't think he could give someone a concussion if he TRIED.

 

[momx2]

Like I said..I was just talking in generalities and there were about 8 reasons why I would not pay the entire $1000 deductible if I was the other parent. Maybe that reason doesn't apply, I don't know, I wasn't there (of course!) I didn't say the kids should get off scot-free, they should definitely be punished. I was just saying why if I was the parent I wouldn't pay the entire deductible, but I would pay a part of it. I do agree there is no reason to hit others ..ever. I do teach my all my kids that, and when their friends are over, too, I am always breaking up fights..ugh, that's what 7-9 year olds do. But of course this was more than an average fight of course! It's scary though..I have a 9 year old and I don't think he could give someone a concussion if he TRIED.

Really, what reason could you have for not paying the deductible? The child caused the injury to her DD. The child (or his parents) must pay. Trust me, the courts will make them pay it.

 

[ajk912]

Really, what reason could you have for not paying the deductible? The child caused the injury to her DD. The child (or his parents) must pay. Trust me, the courts will make them pay it.

Because I think the bus driver is at least 50% responsible for what happened. One hit, yeah, that couldn't be prevented. But I am under the impression that this happened over and over. WTH? Why didn't the bus driver pull over the bus and separate these kids? These kids are minors..still learning right from wrong. Kids are notorious for losing their tempers over stupid stuff. And teasing each other non-stop. The bus driver should have pulled over the bus and remedied the situation. He was in charge, he should not be exempt from responsibility when someone gets pummeled on his bus! We aren't talking about teenagers here, I am assuming this was a K-5 bus so these kids are all in elementary school. I don't know if the courts will make them pay it, I don't really know how that works. I am just thinking about how auto insurance goes in VA..unless there is 100% blame on one party, everyone goes through their own insurance. But this wasn't a car wreck, of course!

I do want to stress I would be extremely devastated and angry if I was the OP. I am terrified of that happening to us, which is why I rarely let the kids ride the bus. My middle dd is a dwarf, she gets picked on enough at school.

 

[Stephres]

Like I said..I was just talking in generalities and there were about 8 reasons why I would not pay the entire $1000 deductible if I was the other parent. Maybe that reason doesn't apply, I don't know, I wasn't there (of course!) I didn't say the kids should get off scot-free, they should definitely be punished. I was just saying why if I was the parent I wouldn't pay the entire deductible, but I would pay a part of it. I do agree there is no reason to hit others ..ever. I do teach my all my kids that, and when their friends are over, too, I am always breaking up fights..ugh, that's what 7-9 year olds do. But of course this was more than an average fight of course! It's scary though..I have a 9 year old and I don't think he could give someone a concussion if he TRIED.

Two boys were throwing rocks at my nine year old and he threw one back and broke our neighbor's van window. We paid the entire cost of the window. Yes, it would have been nice if they other boys' parents had offered to split the cost since they had started it and were in middle school and older, but my son broke the window so my son paid for it. He worked it off by doing chores around the house.

If my child is responsible for damage, accidentally or on purpose, we will pay for it. I don't think it is a unreasonable expectation.

Good luck OP; my son was bullied on a bus by two girls older than him. They hit and pushed him daily but he wanted to handle it himself. On one hand I was happy he wanted to take on the problem himself but I wanted to march down to the school and get those girls in trouble! It's so hard being a parent.

 

[Princess_Michelle]

..

 

[mjlewis23]

OP here:

Thanks for all of your replies, I've been reading them all. We are going to the school first thing tomorrow morning and demanding to talk to the principal. My daughter is doing better, but I don't know how she is going to react to going to school tomorrow and being in the same class as this boy. My daughter did tell me that the boy's big sister was also on the bus and told him "Stop punching that little girl, or you are going to get grounded", plus there was a safety patrol girl on the bus who witnessed it and said she was going to have to write him up next time. (next time.....which is besides the point) So there were more witnesses.

ajk912: I understand your position. Yes, there was another child involved in the hitting, but the other child did not cause the concussion. It was a direct result of the punches to the top of her head. And, yes, I agree that usually something must have provoked the attack when this kind of thing happens, but we have asked over and over, and not once has my DD or her friend given any other story than these kids were teasing her and she said "stop" and they decided to punch her. My DD has *never* had problems in school. She is not the type to go around picking a fight.

I am totally against ever bringing lawsuits against people, but the plain and simple fact is I would not have been in the ER Friday night if it wasn't for this boy. Therefore, his parents or the school is responsible for whatever costs I may have incurred. If my DD in any way had any responsibility for this, I would think twice. But she didn't.

Also, after talking to my little sister who still goes to the high school out here, there *are* cameras in the bus. So I will have proof that this happened thank goodness.

I also spoke with my next door neighbor (who volunteers alot at the school) about this, and she is horrified. She doesn't let her kids ride the bus any more because of problems she has had on the bus. She also stated that she knows who the kid is who did this to my DD, and said "good luck getting them to pay for it". Apparently the kid's parents just got divorced a year or so ago, and they live with their mom who is single. This boy has had multiple incidents with acting out and rage ending him up in the principals office. And his big sister who told him to stop hitting my DD came to lunch several times last year without money in her account, so she couldn't eat lunch (but my DD's school always offers a PB&J to the kids who don't have $ for lunch). She said to my neighbor "my mom can't afford to pack a lunch for me". I really feel for this mom's situation, but that doesn't excuse his behavior. I am even more inclined to press charges since this is a pattern. Apparently, my dd is just one of the many kids he has decided to pick on. This boy needs some major counselling. And maybe this will be a wakeup call to his mom.

Thanks again for listening. I will keep you all posted.