OT: Can you share your best kid appropriate joke?

[krismom]

GROSS, BUT FUNNY:

how do you make a tissue dance?

put a little boogie in it!!!!

 

[mjantz]

My personal favorite:

Knock knock
Who's there?
Impatient Cow
Impatient Co....
(interrupts) MOO!!


Why did the bubble gum cross the road?

It was stuck to the chickens foot!

 

[pooksma]

Knock,Knock
Whos there?
Dwayne
Dwayne who?
Dwayne the twub Im drowning

Knock,Knock
WHo's there?
Isabel
Isabel who?
Isabel necessary on a bicycle?

Old family favs.

 

[Kellyscrapbooks]

Ok, some of the favs around here:

Why did the bear need socks?
Why?
Because he had a BARE foot... get it? BEAR foot? (This is EXACTLY how they tell it EVERY time! Somehow it makes it funnier!)

Knock Knock
who's there?
Olive
Olive who?
Olive the other reindeer! (nice and seasonally appropriate!)

Knock knock
who's there?
Boo
Boo who?
Don't cry! It's just a joke!

Knock knock
who's there?
Olive
Olive who?
Olive you very much!

What do pirates like on their pizza?
Pep ARRRRR oni

 

[belle's mom]

Two that my kids loved when the were younger. . .

What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho Cheese


How much did the pirate pay to get his ears pierced?

A buck an ear (Buccaneer)

 

[scouthawkk]

DH just had to tell this one to DS...now DS can't stop telling it...

why did the chicken cross the road?
to get to the other side.
why did the cat cross the road?
because he was a copy cat.

 

[belle&beast]

I just read this to my DS7, he thinks it's the funnies tthing he ever heard!

I've found that until kids are old enough for jokes of a decidely... ahem, "adult" nature, nothing is funnier than bathroom humor.

I'm glad you liked it! The funny thing is, my DD doesn't really get the humor because she reverses it and has Pooh looking for Tigger!

 

[Tosie]

My dd's favorite:

What do cows like to read?

The Moos-paper!

 

[Aristomommy]

DD8 has a few favorites:

What did Teddy bear say after dinner?

I'm stuffed

------------------------------

knock knock

who's there?

shelby

shelby who?

she'll be coming 'round the mountain when she comes (singin the tune...)


---------------------------

knock knock

who's there?

hat

hat who? (said like a sneeze)

bless you

--------------------------

 

[MomofKatie]

Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Aach.
Aach who?
Geshunteit!

What did the tomato say to the hat?
You go on ahead, I'll catch up!

Why didn't the skeleton ride the roller coaster?
He didn't have the guts!

 

[mouseketeer_mom]

You guys are awesome! My kids have thought Mom's the Da-bom! with my bits of hilarity today and I haven't heard about the orange that ran out of juice all day! Thanks

 

[VolleyballQt07]

Two of my sis7 favorites.


Why was the math book sad??? It had too many problems.

What's the difference between boogers and broccoli?? Kids don't eat broccoli..

 

[ilovejack02]

Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7, "8",9

Get it??? HUH MAMA, get it???

7 ate 9

My 4 yr thinks its the funniest joke ever, he cracks himself up and keeps asking me if i "get it???"

 

[kitsch4]

Where does the King keep his armies?

In his sleevies.

 

[cathyce2]

What time should you go to the dentist?
2:30 (tooth-hurty)!


What kind of keys won't open any doors?
Donkeys and monkeys (although we've had several discussions as to whether or not monkeys can open doors).

 

[cinderella_mom]

What's an astronauts favorite meal?
-Launch

 

[pennypooh]

Egg White!!!!!


What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? Spare ribs!
Bless you--I was going nuts too. I printed all of these....

 

[Information Hen]

What's brown and sticky?
A stick!

What did the fish say when he ran into the concrete wall?
Dam!

This is one of my favorite old Bert and Ernie routines, and my 4-year-old thinks it's the funniest thing ever:
Say, "We're going to play a game. I'll say 1-Q, then you say 2-Q." Go on in that manner, alternating until the child says 10-Q, at which point you say:

"You're Welcome!"


This one for older kids who've been through music class or piano lessons:

Why couldn't Mozart find his teacher?
Because he was Haydn!

 

[pennypooh]

Fish--they go around in schools.


Why wasn't the elephant allowed on the airplane?
His trunk wouldn't fit under the seat.

What fish is famous? Starfish

Spell mousetrap with three letters. C-A-T


These are off the riddle cups that Dixie makes.

 

[onelugnut]

It Had Mittens!