OT, but sligthly relevant- How old were you??

[disneydreamgirl05]

Ceopamom3- Thanks for the advice. That’s what I’m struggling with right now. We’ve know each other for over 8 years, and we’ve been together for 4 of those. I’m not expecting it to be easy at all. It’s not now. He lives 2 hours away from me and we only get to see each other maybe two times a month. I know it will be a struggle, but I’m also optimistic that it will be worth it in the end.


Caryndisneydiva- Congrats on getting married!! Unfortunately, we can’t live with each other before marriage. Neither of us wants to do to the fact that our parents are against it. And since my dad is paying for all my schooling, I don’t want to make him mad!!! Also, this is why I’m determined to finish college before I even start planning!!! And it won’t be for another 2 ½ years until we get married so by then I’ll be about 23.

B2B-2008- Thanks for writing!!!

Namsupak- We haven’t even started planning due to the same fact of it’s so hard is school!! My father pays for a lot of my stuff right now due to the fact that I am in school. DH has a very good job and he pays for everything of his right now. My father said the same thing!!! As long as I was out of college, he would help, but not before. I’ll be 23 about the time I get married so we’ll be about the same age!!

Yearbook50- I wish my employer would pay for grad school!! I found a grad school though, if you graduate from it and make a contract with a hospital, every 6 months you are there they’ll pay back $1500 on your school loans! I’m excited!! Congrats on your wedding!! You’ll be getting married very near my birthday!!

 

[Ashes711]

We just got married in July, after 6 years of dating. We are both 22.

We got engaged over 2 years before we actually got married; I waited until I was finished with my undergrad(graduated in May). I'm currently working full time and going to grad school 2 nights a week.

We still get the "you're so young to be married." We don't let it bother us. We are very happy, and loving our new life together. The way I look at it, everyone matures at a different age, I have friends who are 27 and up who still aren't mature enough to get married. If you and DF feel like you are ready, go for it!

I would suggest taking pre-marital counseling classes beforehand. Our church required it, and it actually turned out to be a really great experience! Even after 6 years together, there were still some things we had not talked about or even considered.

 

[vetrik]

I think it totally depends on the people.

I was 23 when we got married and DH turned 25 a week and a half after the wedding. I had been out of college 2 years already, and we had been together for 4 years. No one told us we were too young, but we were the first of our friends to get married (we had also been together longer than any of them).

It's been 3 1/2 years, and it's fantastic. I'm 27, he's 28 - we've bought a house, grown in our careers, etc. It's been great to do it all together. Of course we have put off having kids, that still scares me to death!

 

[The Charmed One]

I was 31 and dh was 33 when we got married last year, we'd been together 13 years at the time of getting married.

 

[shasess]

I will be 28 and DH will be 26 when we get married.

 

[dislovr]

Right now I am 22 and my HTB is 25. We are recently engaged (one week auctually) and can not wait to start our life together. We've been talking about marriage for at least 2 years. BTW we've been together 4 years. However by the time we get married we will be together 6 years. I want to wait till I finish my associated and sit for the NCLEX for my RN liscense. I will still continue with school after marriage for my bachelors and a diploma program to specialize. I look at it this way. Once you are sure that you can support yourselves, even if your not at the point in life where you want to be why can't you work to get there together? Like I know people who want to save hundreds of thousands of dollars before they get married. If your already supporting yourself and you know you want to be married they why don't you get married and work at saving together? I think thats the only way HTB and I will save money. Because now that both of us are still living with our parents we spend most of our money because we know we won't be able to buy the "fun" stuff once we get a house.

 

[figmentfan814]

My DF and I will both be 26 when we get married in March. We met when we were 18, so we will have been together 8 years by the time of our wedding. We met at college and then both went on to graduate school. We ended up going to the same graduate school which was great, but we did not live together. Speaking from experience (I've now finished two master's degrees) graduate school is a huge adjustment especially if you are going full time. We decided that we wanted to wait to get married because we knew too many people who never finished school because once you're married life just has a way of taking you to unexpected places (finances, kids, etc.)

We had a great time in grad school and spent a lot of time together. Although, I have to admit as a couple of other posters mentioned your mid 20s are major adjusting points in your life. We had a rough patch when we first started grad school and broke up for a couple of months. Now that we're both getting settled in our professional lives I'm glad that we'll be able to start the new phase in our life (marriage) without the added stress of school.

On top of that if one of you is working and the other in school that is really difficult too because depending on your grad program you will probably have a lot of night classes so your schedules would be opposite of each other. That's just my two cents, I'm going to be the oldest person to get married in my family (most people are in their early 20s) and I'm glad I waited. If it's meant to be you will still be together in a few years.

 

[BaBeeCee14]

My DF and I have been together a little over 6 and half years and living together for about 3 years. When we get married, I will be 27 and he will be 26.
I always imagined that I would be married younger, like 23 or 24. I'm happy that we waited because we have a home now and are financially stable. If we had gotten married back then, I don't know how we would've been able to afford it.
Everyone is different and you have to do what is right for you.

 

[Lizby]

DF is 26 and I am 24 and we have been together for over five years (boy does time fly!) We have been talking about getting married for about four years but he wanted to wait until we were done with school before proposing. It actually has worked out well this way because our relationship has grown and changed in so many ways during our time together and I think it has made us stronger as a couple.

It is entirely up to you when you feel you are ready to get married...there will probably always be some naysayer to tell you you're too young/old/whatever, but who cares? You're the one getting married, not them!

 

[PrincessBrideKatie]

DF and I will be 23 when we get married. But we want to be together and it is the only way it will happen... I can't move to the USA permanently unless I get a visa, and there are very few options. We have been doing the longdistance thing since Sept 2006, but we did meet in person in WDW while we both work there. We are both going to graduate this spring and get married 1month after I am done, and 2 weeks after he is done. Both my family and DF's are very supportive, even of my spur of the moment "I'm coming for a visit" trips where I book it and am there 3 days later.

We just hate the longdistance, and try to see eachother at least once a month... but its hard. So getting married will definitely solve that problem.

 

[lurkyloo]

DF and I are both 30. But I totally would have gotten married younger if I'd known anyone worth marrying!

 

[HolyCowImADisneyBrde]

I will be 24 and DF will be 25 when we get married in December of next year. We will have been together for exactly 5 years. We bought a house when I was 20, we've lived together since I was 19, and we grew up together so we've known each other forever. We'd both already been in prior long term relationships and after those ended, it allowed us to both know what we wanted and needed out of a relationship. And after knowing each other all those years, turns out we found it in each other. I knew we'd get married the day we finally got together. When you know what's right, you know. I don't know any other way to describe it but when it's right and when you find that person, you just KNOW. And you know yourself and your situation better than anyone else, and only you guys know when you're ready. Don't let anyone else make that decision for you!

 

[Tinkerbelle14]

DH and I were married in May 2006. People thought we were too young because I was 22, he was 24 and we had just finished university the month before. We had been together for 6 years when we got married and we never let people's comments get to us. In my opinion, if you were commenting that we were a little young to be married then you obviously didn't know us! My father has always been protective of me and when DH asked my parents' permission to propose, they didn't even hesitate to give their blessing! All we cared about was whether or not we were ready and what our family thought. The people who saw me wearing an engagement ring and would say, "You're engaged? Aren't you a little young?" never even made me think twice about getting married in my early 20s!

 

[Eeyore's Tailfinder]

I am 21 (22 in 2 months) and DBF is 24, but we are neither engaged or married. We've been together 3.5 years. We did come very close to getting engaged on my 20th birthday, but now I'm glad we didn't as it would have been a VERY long engagement! Nevertheless, we do talk about it a lot as in 'when' we get married - we both know it's going to happen.

I'm a Postgraduate now, just started my PhD which will take 3 years for me to do. I want to wait a year or two after my PhD finishes, to give us some time to get our finances together and save for a house and a wedding. He already has a full time job. By that time we'll have been together 7/8 years, I'll be 25/26 and DBF will be 28/29. I still think that's pretty young, but we'll have been together a long time by then.

The other main reason, other than wanting to be financially stable is, that I think your priorities change when you get married. At the moment, me and my DBF love to travel, and we just wouldn't be able to do certain things if we had greater responsibility of a house, bills, maybe trying for kids... For example, we're saving up like mad for 3 weeks in WDW with a DCL, and we also want to visit Australia in the next couple of years.

Saying this though, we are going to rent a house next year so we're very excited about that, and we're getting all the bits and bobs together now! We both know we're going to be together so there's no rush - we just enjoy being boyfriend and girlfriend for the time being, as much as I hanker after a WDW Wedding (which we're both looking forward to!)........ but for what it's worth, if he asked me to marry him (especially in WDW if he's reading ) then I wouldn't say no! Well, that's just rude

But it's totally up to the individual - if you feel ready, go for it!!!

 

[TamTab]

Both DF and myself will be 28 when we get married.

 

[disneydreamgirl05]

Ashes711- We talked about doing premarital counseling and his parents are kinda pushing it, but neither one of us want to. I know that sounds bad, but we just don’t want to do it. You’re lucky you only have to go to grad school two nights a week. I have to go every single day!!

Vetrik- Kids scare me too!! We are actually not even the first of our friends to get married. Two couples already have and one’s planning one for May. One of the couples is having problems, but they only married to get out of the house and I don’t think that can be the best idea!

The Charmed One- Wow, 13 years is a long time!!! Congrats!

Shases- Congrats on your wedding!! 6 more months!

Dislovr- we are the same way!! We are trying to enjoy a little bit of life before the pressure starts in. Both of us are financially independent, only thing I require from my parents is tuition money!! I’m going to be in school forever, so I understand that!!

Figmentfan814-He is not going to grad school so I would be the only one in school. I understand it’s a big issue, but we’d already be living together anyways, it makes sense just to go ahead and get married. Luckily, most of my classes are during the day due to the fact that they are clinical, so my nights would be free. Thank you!! You’re more than welcome to put in your two cents!

BaBeeCee14- Thank you!!

Lizby- Thank you!! Congrats on your wedding!! 7 more months!!

PrincessBrideKate- We’re going through the same problem! Long distance relationships are not the easiest things!! I get to see him about once a month too! Best of luck for getting your visa! And congrats on your wedding!

Lurkyloo- Congrats on your wedding!! And your engagement pictures are absolutely beautiful!

HowCowImADisneyBride- Thank you so much for your words!!

Tinkerbelle14- I get the look at ring, then questions all the time. I actually took off my ring for a few months because I was tired of all the questions and stares! But then I realized that it doesn’t matter. My dad is the exact same way. But he gave his permission!!

Eeyore’s Tailfinder- thanks! Congrats on getting the house! I would love to go to Australia one day! But it’ll be a little in the future before I can do that!

TamTab-Congrats on your wedding!!

 

[DisneyB2B]

I was 27 and DH was 25 (yep I got myself a toyboy )

 

[maraki527]

my dh and i have been together 7 yrs, married for 1
we were both 24 yrs old when we got married
we both graduated school and made sure we had secure jobs before we got married.

 

[WDWfantasy]

I don't think that there is a "right" age to get married. I've known 18 year-olds that were mature enough to get married and 40 year-olds that were not mature enough to get married. I had just turned 19 right before our wedding and DH had just turned 20. That was 20 years ago. Looking back over the 20 years I would not change one thing. Most of our motivation to get married young stemmed from religious convictions. We "waited" until after we were married. I imagine that would have become more and more difficult for us had we put the wedding off until we were older. But there are many people who don't feel the way that we do about pre-marital.....ya....... That is why I say it all depends on the individuals and their circumstances. Best wishes to all of the brides from 18 to 118

 

[JandJ]

I agree with those who have said there is no right or wrong age. It depends on the person. If you think you can handle it emotionally, financially, and have the strength to go through the tough times together, don't wait. If you have any doubts, wait and see where life brings you. If it's meant to be it will be, whether it's in 6 months, 9 months, or a couple of years. Not to go all "Dr. Phil" on here, but I recommend the book "1,001 Questions to Ask Before You Get Married" it opens up a lot of discussion. If you're honest with yourselves it gets to how you both really feel about the important stuff like finances, family, religion, hopes and dreams for the future.