OT: Bummed and just need to vent

[WDWorBUST]

So our family consists of DH, myself and DD (5). We started trying to add to our family last September. I got pregnant in February but had a missed miscarriage in April and as a result a D&C. As you can imagine I was heartbroken. As it had turned out my due date had been my DD's birthday so since we lost the baby I decided that we were going to take DD to Disney for her birthday to celebrate her. Then DH got a new job and won't have vacation then so we cancelled and rescheduled for after Thanksgiving. Well we were still TTC and secretly I was hoping that when we were asked what we were celebrating we would be able to answer a new addition to our family. But it just hasn't worked out. And not only that but it has now been a year TTC AGAIN!! (It took over a year with DD too) We actually have stopped trying at this point because DD is most likely going to be 48" and I want to be able to go on the rides she'll now be big enough for and because I would be nervous going in the first trimester after my miscarriage. So we're still celebrating her birthday and I'm so so grateful to have my wonderful, amazing little girl.....but I'm bummed too. So we'll start TTC after our trip and we will either be successful in the next year or I'll have to accept that our family is complete. The emotional rollercoaster has got to have a stopping point for me. I'm just so sad because I know our trip is going to be great....but I just wanted so badly for it to be different. Sorry to ramble....but I knew you guys would understand the "what will you celebrate" angle.

 

[cogero]

oh {{{HUGS}}}} I have been on that journey. Just keep trying and relax I know it is hard. Just a quick story. We had decided once I turned 35 if were werent pg we would stop trying. So I turned 35 we decided we were done DD was 5 we were enjoying life with our little 3 person family.

Fast forward 6 months until Easter when I figured out finally I was pregnant 8 weeks to boot. I wound up with a healthy baby boy in November of 2007. Things happen the way they are supposed to but boy do those Miscarriages hurt.

Good luck and I will be thinking of you.

 

[Beckypooh1972]

Celebrate some "girl time" with your daughter. You are so fortunate to have a little princess - they appreciate WDW in a different way than boys. I'm sorry for your recent loss and I understand - we went through fertility treatments to get our 2 little princes. Disney is all about sharing magic with your child. Sometimes I think one of the reasons we wanted kids was just to share our love of Disney

 

[Colleen27]

I've been there too. We tried for a year for a third child, until I finally told DH I just couldn't take any more trying and miscarrying. I got pregnant easily, first try every time, but then miscarried almost immediately after getting the positive test. Like you said, that roller coaster had to have a stopping point, and I threw on the brakes. It took a very tough year of trying to accept that our family was complete to make peace with the situation, with thoughts of how things should have been different, all those 'baby's first's that we should have been celebrating never very far from my mind at first.

And life being what it is, I had just started to really accept the idea that we were always going to be a family of 4 and planned a huge blow-out Disney vacation to celebrate the wonderful family we had rather than continuing to dwell on the one that never would be. Wouldn't you know it, I found out I was quite unexpectedly pregnant about a month before we were scheduled to leave. I was so sure I'd be a basket case for that trip! My doc ordered an early ultrasound and other testing to rule out any identifiable problems and we decided to wait on making any decisions about the trip until after than point; I didn't want to cancel only to miscarry and end up sitting home, not pregnant, wallowing in my grief. But none of the pregnancies I'd lost ever had a visible heartbeat; we went straight from "It is probably too soon to see it" to miscarriage, so I figured we'd know from the u/s. Once we saw my Katie's heartbeat I just knew she was going to be fine.

Now she is a charming 13mo and we're all very much looking forward to taking her on her first Disney trip, our first trip as a family of five, almost 2 years to the day after the trip that was meant to help us move forward in life as a family of four.

I hope your story has as happy an ending, and that you have plenty to celebrate in the years to come!

 

[wewantmore]

I too know the heartache of TTC. Please enjoy your trip.

Michelle

 

[peemagg]

I think that sometimes the when people are trying to hard to concieve it doesn't work. It is when you take the pressure off yourselves that an unexpected surprise happens.

I'm sorry you have had such a rough time and the loss, but enjoy what you have, and maybe, if the good Lord deems it, you can come home with a little Disney souvenier.

 

[dfchelbay]

So our family consists of DH, myself and DD (5). We started trying to add to our family last September. I got pregnant in February but had a missed miscarriage in April and as a result a D&C. As you can imagine I was heartbroken. As it had turned out my due date had been my DD's birthday so since we lost the baby I decided that we were going to take DD to Disney for her birthday to celebrate her. Then DH got a new job and won't have vacation then so we cancelled and rescheduled for after Thanksgiving. Well we were still TTC and secretly I was hoping that when we were asked what we were celebrating we would be able to answer a new addition to our family. But it just hasn't worked out. And not only that but it has now been a year TTC AGAIN!! (It took over a year with DD too) We actually have stopped trying at this point because DD is most likely going to be 48" and I want to be able to go on the rides she'll now be big enough for and because I would be nervous going in the first trimester after my miscarriage. So we're still celebrating her birthday and I'm so so grateful to have my wonderful, amazing little girl.....but I'm bummed too. So we'll start TTC after our trip and we will either be successful in the next year or I'll have to accept that our family is complete. The emotional rollercoaster has got to have a stopping point for me. I'm just so sad because I know our trip is going to be great....but I just wanted so badly for it to be different. Sorry to ramble....but I knew you guys would understand the "what will you celebrate" angle.

Any way of TTC while at WDW? How awesome to know that all the things you love in the worldl were present at your favorite place in the world. Love of DH, DD, WDW, Dfamily, and love of future Dbaby.

 

[Karenj2]

I completely know what you mean... We had been TTC off and on for 11 years, and for the last 4 years (which had been mostly off) we've been going to WDW with my sister & her family. We always had a great time, but there was always a bit of sadness, seeing all of those families (even the ones with crying kids) and knowing we weren't a part of that.

Last year, we were debating on doing IVF one more time, or looking into adoption, but decided to try IVF, and as you can see from my ticker below, it FINALLY worked!! (so far!)

Enjoy this trip with your DD, and I'll be crossing my fingers that the next time you go, you'll have another kid to take with you!

 

[jesseiann]

I'm in almost the exact same situation. DH and I started trying for #2 last Oct. DS was 3 at the time, but is now 4. We got pregnant almost right away and when I went in for my appt. in Feb, there was no heartbeat. I opted to try the pills to induce the miscarriage and it took months for my hcg to get back down to zero. We decided that we would take the vacation close to the baby's due date so that I would have something else to think about during that time (due date was Sept. 23). We started trying again a few months ago with the same goal of celebrating in Disney and so far have had no luck. We skipped this month because we are leaving for Disney on Oct. 1 and I wanted to be able to do the rides and stuff. I am really hoping to make a Disney baby. The timing should be perfect. I kind of feel that there is something wrong though. It only took me 3 tries with DS and 2 with the miscarriage, but I guess we will see. By the way your DD must be really tall. DS is 41". I was hoping for 44" so he could do EE and SE. He loves astronauts.

 

[WDWorBUST]

Thanks everyone! DD is tall....but she'll also be 6 November 1st. Right now she's over 47" so here's hoping she makes it. We do have so much to celebrate....I know there was a point in time I wondered if we would ever have a child and we have an amazing child. When we do start TTC again I will be taking clomid and I got pregnant with DD my first cycle on clomid so I'm hoping it does the trick. My cycles have varied from ovulating cd 18 - cd 23 so I really don't know where I'll be when we're on vacation but who knows.

 

[WDWorBUST]

I'm in almost the exact same situation. DH and I started trying for #2 last Oct. DS was 3 at the time, but is now 4. We got pregnant almost right away and when I went in for my appt. in Feb, there was no heartbeat. I opted to try the pills to induce the miscarriage and it took months for my hcg to get back down to zero. We decided that we would take the vacation close to the baby's due date so that I would have something else to think about during that time (due date was Sept. 23). We started trying again a few months ago with the same goal of celebrating in Disney and so far have had no luck. We skipped this month because we are leaving for Disney on Oct. 1 and I wanted to be able to do the rides and stuff. I am really hoping to make a Disney baby. The timing should be perfect. I kind of feel that there is something wrong though. It only took me 3 tries with DS and 2 with the miscarriage, but I guess we will see. By the way your DD must be really tall. DS is 41". I was hoping for 44" so he could do EE and SE. He loves astronauts.

I totally understand how hard it is...best of luck to you.

 

[WDWorBUST]

I completely know what you mean... We had been TTC off and on for 11 years, and for the last 4 years (which had been mostly off) we've been going to WDW with my sister & her family. We always had a great time, but there was always a bit of sadness, seeing all of those families (even the ones with crying kids) and knowing we weren't a part of that.

Last year, we were debating on doing IVF one more time, or looking into adoption, but decided to try IVF, and as you can see from my ticker below, it FINALLY worked!! (so far!)

Enjoy this trip with your DD, and I'll be crossing my fingers that the next time you go, you'll have another kid to take with you!

Congratulations!

 

[WDWorBUST]

I've been there too. We tried for a year for a third child, until I finally told DH I just couldn't take any more trying and miscarrying. I got pregnant easily, first try every time, but then miscarried almost immediately after getting the positive test. Like you said, that roller coaster had to have a stopping point, and I threw on the brakes. It took a very tough year of trying to accept that our family was complete to make peace with the situation, with thoughts of how things should have been different, all those 'baby's first's that we should have been celebrating never very far from my mind at first.

And life being what it is, I had just started to really accept the idea that we were always going to be a family of 4 and planned a huge blow-out Disney vacation to celebrate the wonderful family we had rather than continuing to dwell on the one that never would be. Wouldn't you know it, I found out I was quite unexpectedly pregnant about a month before we were scheduled to leave. I was so sure I'd be a basket case for that trip! My doc ordered an early ultrasound and other testing to rule out any identifiable problems and we decided to wait on making any decisions about the trip until after than point; I didn't want to cancel only to miscarry and end up sitting home, not pregnant, wallowing in my grief. But none of the pregnancies I'd lost ever had a visible heartbeat; we went straight from "It is probably too soon to see it" to miscarriage, so I figured we'd know from the u/s. Once we saw my Katie's heartbeat I just knew she was going to be fine.

Now she is a charming 13mo and we're all very much looking forward to taking her on her first Disney trip, our first trip as a family of five, almost 2 years to the day after the trip that was meant to help us move forward in life as a family of four.

I hope your story has as happy an ending, and that you have plenty to celebrate in the years to come!

I'm very hopeful we have our own happy ending. It makes it so much worse because DD has been asking for a sibling for so long - which alone isn't reason to have one but when we've been trying it tears my heart out when she asks. She doesn't know about the miscarriage thankfully.

 

[CLR4321]

I know it is so frustrating to TTC. Just enjoy your trip with your DD and I do agree with a PP...perhaps some WDW pixie dust will help you?

 

[Steph9072]

(((HUGS))) I know how you feel. I had 3 m/c prior to having dd. We started trying for a 2nd baby when dd was 2. I m/c 4 months into ttc. At 11 months my OB/GYN put me on Clomid and told us it took most couples with our history 3-6 months. Exactly 3 weeks later I was in his office for a PG test, it was positive. We were blessed with our son just shy of dd’s 4th Birthday. I would give you this piece of advice. Stop actively trying until after your trip. Who knows it may happen when the pressure is off and your are not trying. After that I would talk to your OB/GYN maybe he/she can give you something like Clomid to help. Most importantly take care of you right now.


TTC is the hardest journey I have ever faced. I thank Lord everyday that I had the support of an amazing husband. I found people just didn’t understand. I heard so many times be glad you have dd. I knew how blessed I was to have beautiful health daughter. But that didn’t take away the feeling I had to have another. TTC is a journey that not everyone will understand. If you need somebody to vent to feel free to send me private messages.

 

[Mrs. Charming]

I'm on the same journey. I don't have much encouragement because I can't even encourage myself, but I can offer many

Baby dust to you!!

 

[WDWorBUST]

I'm so sorry so many of us have experienced this struggle. But it really does help to know that there are people out there who understand. Here in my real world as nice and supportive as people are I don't know anyone who has experienced the struggle firsthand.