OT attention problem in school

[momz]

I am looking for some ideas. My DD (6) is a first grader. At her first teacher conference this year, the teacher told me that DD daydreams a lot. She said that DD seems to understand the things taught to her....when she pays attention. but that many times she is not getting her work done, or doesn't hear the instructions because she is daydreaming. After the conference, i have continued to frequently reinforce the importance of listening to the teacher and paying attention in class. Also, I have paid more attention to homework assignments and papers from school to see if she is understanding things. She seems to do just fine when at home doing her homework, she is able to complete the assignments in a reasonable amount of time and seems to understand the instructions. I would not be at all concerned about the daydreaming except that after following up with the teacher today, I hear, "it's continuing to be a problem". I was assured again that DD understands the lessons...when she pays attention. but my concern is that if the teacher considers it a "problem" then I do too. How can I help my daughter with this?

 

[SummersMom]

My first thought is that she may be a very smart little girl. A common sign of Gifted kids is daydreaming and boredom, because they learned it the first time the teacher said it and don't want to hear it 4 or 5 more times. Perhaps she needs to be on an ALP (Advanced Learning Plan), at least that's what they have here.

Have you talked with your daughter? Does she think it's hard to pay attention? Why? Maybe she sits by a window or is otherwise distracted and moving her seat would help.

Good luck!

 

[pha1226]

I had exactly the same problem with my dd last year in 1st grade. She is very smart and was bored with the repetitive nature of the some of the assignments. If she thought something was easy, she tuned out the teacher and did her own thing until the very last second, then rushed through the assignment. She wanted to talk to her friends or do something more fun (look out the window) because she knew she didn't need the whole time to complete the assigment.

Last year, I spoke to her teacher who gave her some extra work so that dd had to focus on the task to get it all done. It was still a struggle to get her to pay attention. Now that she's in second grade, she understands more that some kids need more time and seems to cope better.

Good luck!

 

[ryetrga]

I am a special ed teacher and often see this as a problem. It could be that your daughter is very smart and bored with the classroom assignments, or it could be that she simply lacks the motivation the teacher is looking for. In either case, the teacher's actions are important. Ask the teacher what she is doing to help the problem. What interventions does she have in place to help increase your daughter's time on task? What reward systems does she use? What does she allow students to do when they are done with their work? If she feels your daughter is in fact struggling with some of the work, ask her to show you the data to support her assumptions- diagnostic tests, work samples, etc- anything that can show you in concrete terms how your daughter may be struggling and in what SPECIFIC areas, and how does she perform in comparison with the rest of her class. It could be that this is a problem for more than one student. Good luck with this!

 

[momz]

thank you all, your suggestions are very helpful. I'm not certain how she compares with the rest of the class. prior to her first conference they were all evaluated and compared to the "bench mark". She did not do well on those evaluations. But the teacher said that she felt like DD was not listening when the instructions were given, and that she actually knows more than the evaluations indicate. In addition, the papers she brings home every Friday are all above 90% and most are 97% and above, unfortunately, these scores are not taken into consideration when she is being measured for the "bench mark". However, I'm not convinced that she is "advanced" either. But, I'm not sure how to know this. A part of me thinks that just saying, "she must be bored" is perhaps the "easy explanation". anyway, bored or not, i feel she has to learn when it is important to pay attention and when it is ok to daydream. I will talk with the teacher about trying some positive reinforement. Even if it's just asking for a note home when DD has a good day, so i can let her know that i am proud of her for that. thanks for listening.

 

[MickeyWanaBe]

When my son was in 3rd grade the teacher tried to tell me that my son was hyperactive and need counciling! I think she thought Ridilin was the answer for controling kids.

This is the son that could entertain himself for hours quietly just about anywhere. He loves to sit a read or watch TV, play card games, whatever. He was a very easy going kid. We go to church on Sundays and he has always sat with us in church and not gone to the nusery to play. He might not have listened to everything going on, but he occupied himself quietly. I had him at 17 when I was still living at home with my parents. He has grown up around mostly adults (except at preschool and daycare) and we never had any problems with disipline. He is very social and likes to talk, but that is really the only thing we had heard from any of his teachers up until then. He would on occassion have to come to work with me or my mom if the babysitter had to close (her DH had a bad heart and had to go through lots of test and check ups), but we never had a problem with him. He would sit at a spare desk and play games, read or work on the computer (he has had his own computer since he was 5 - DH is a computer guy and didn't want him d/l stuff on his so he gave him an old one of his own). I now think he would get bored and find other ways to occupy his time.

We are in a very good school district, but I am not sure his elementary school had a gifted program and I didn't even give it a thought then (I wish I would have been a diser and seen a thread like this back then...). We just figured the teacher (fresh out of college) didn't know how to handle/dicipline him. We did as much as we could from home. We would get daily reports from the teacher and if he got in trouble at school he would be in trouble at home and loose prevliges there. We tried talking with him to figure out what was wrong and why he couldn't be good and all we ever got was an "I don't know". Since then we always get the reports that he is very smart he just needs to use his time wisely.

He has started to out grow it or deal with it better over the years. We tell him to read if he is bored (but then again that has gotten him into trouble in the past...). He is in 7th grade which is Middle School this year and I think the work has started to challenge him more. He still has all A's and B's and we can even see a difference in him. He does his own laundry, he has become more active in activities at school and we didn't get the same old report at parent teacher conferences.

Sorry to ramble on... but my point is maybe it isn't such a "problem". It could be the teacher and way she is handling it. I wish I would have known back then what I know now. Talk to the teacher hopefully you can work through the "problem" and figure it out.

I also think that since we were young parents that a couple of teachers at that school thought we couldn't be good parents...It couldn't possibly be something they were doing wrong!

Okay, I off my soapbox, again... Sorry.

 

[MickeyWanaBe]

thank you all, your suggestions are very helpful. I'm not certain how she compares with the rest of the class. prior to her first conference they were all evaluated and compared to the "bench mark". She did not do well on those evaluations. But the teacher said that she felt like DD was not listening when the instructions were given, and that she actually knows more than the evaluations indicate. In addition, the papers she brings home every Friday are all above 90% and most are 97% and above, unfortunately, these scores are not taken into consideration when she is being measured for the "bench mark". However, I'm not convinced that she is "advanced" either. But, I'm not sure how to know this. A part of me thinks that just saying, "she must be bored" is perhaps the "easy explanation". anyway, bored or not, i feel she has to learn when it is important to pay attention and when it is ok to daydream. I will talk with the teacher about trying some positive reinforement. Even if it's just asking for a note home when DD has a good day, so i can let her know that i am proud of her for that. thanks for listening.

We did find that positive reinforcement did work much better than the negitive. When we were getting the daily notes and he would have a good week we would let him know how proud of him we were. If he had a bad week we would discuss it and let him know we were disappointed and hopfully he would do better. If it didn't get better we would begin to take things away (TV, computer, games, eating out, go to bed early).

In our case DS's test scores ("bench mark") were always above average and in some cases they were pertty high, but his grade didn't always show it. He never got anythign below a C, but I not like Cs. And one of his C was on the low end. We always knew he could do better.

 

[MickeyWanaBe]

My first thought is that she may be a very smart little girl. A common sign of Gifted kids is daydreaming and boredom, because they learned it the first time the teacher said it and don't want to hear it 4 or 5 more times. Perhaps she needs to be on an ALP (Advanced Learning Plan), at least that's what they have here.

Have you talked with your daughter? Does she think it's hard to pay attention? Why? Maybe she sits by a window or is otherwise distracted and moving her seat would help.

Good luck!

I wish someone would have told me this 5 years ago... A lot of the time he would give us the "I get bored" reason and we would tell him he should be paying attention and participating in class so he doesn't get bored. Or we would tell him to find something to do (besides talk to friends) to keep himself occupied. He would get in trouble for talking and using his time wisely.

 

[GoinToDisney]

Gosh, being a first grade teacher (before becoming a SAHM), I hate to say it, but it sounds like there isn't a whole lot you can do from home. The problem may be the teacher. Hopefully the teacher is willing to give you daily feedback if she feels it is a problem. Then you can at least praise he rfor a good job. If she doesn't have trouble at home, then I am not sure what else you can do. She should have some type of reward system in place. What about a timer for assignments? Maybe if she were trying to beat the clock to finish, it would help. I know flylady.net has one that has a vibrate setting. I'm sorry I can't think of more. I was one of those bored daydreamers, but there are plenty of ways to make assignments work on different levels for different kids. Teaching with games and hands-on activities. In my last year, assessments were done with hands-on activities on a one-on-one basis so I knew if the child mastered the concept, understood the directions, etc.. I just feel like the teacher should be doing more, but I don't know how much you can really do about it. Sorry I can't help more than that!

 

[budbeerlady]

That is my DD. I just heard the same thing from the 2nd grade teacher and I will probley hear it when she is a senior in high school.

Anyway, DD is by far the youngest in her classes, probley grade. Most of the kids are 8 or almost 8 and she just turned 7. We found out after she was in K that most kids are held back by their parents untill almost or at 6 to start K. DD was ready, knew it all and then some so we sent her. There is a huge maturity gap when your dealing with her classmates and her. So her teachers are not too concerned about it but to keep her on task, not talking, dreaming, etc. We charted her. The other kids didnt know but she got a little paper in her bag with a smiley face or a quick note explaining what happened that day. I know it was work for the teacher but it did help DD to know we were following up at home. A bad day was no dessert at our house. Another thing she did was to lose recess time, that one got her attention quick. The kids in the class got the no talking hint after that day!

DD is listening, she knows it all if you ask her. But she doesnt look at all like she is listening to the teacher. We are working on it but I know she is a talker and a dreamer. Good luck!

 

[2tinkerbells]

I am so glad to hear I am not alone. My dd5 is in kindergarten and is having problems with attention and completing tasks. We get feedback daily from her teacher in the form of a smiley face on her daily sheet or a note about her behavior. It seems to go in spurts but lately she is getting introuble for not following directions, and today it was not completing her tasks. We do punish her by taking away dessert, toys, tv, etc. and we do reward for good days with praise and getting back priveleges. I asked her today why she didn't finish her assignment and she said "it is so boring doing the same thing over and over."
I have been concerned that I started her in school to early (she turned 5 in August) but her preschool teacher said she was ready. When we had a conference with her kindergarten teacher at the beginning of school, she said dd knew what she was doing when asked to complete assignments, but getting her to pay attention to the teacher was a problem. She plays well by herself and has always occupied herself so I do not believe she can't pay attention, I just am concerned about her lack of attention at school.
I just wanted to say thank you for letting me know my child is not a problem maker and there are others like her.

 

[eventamy]

There's been lots of good advice so far from the pps. I just want to point out too, there is NOTHING wrong with having an attention evaluation done by a pediatrician. I am a school counselor and I appreciate it when parents are willing to have their pediatrician involved in the process. it does not meant that the next step for your child is drugs. For some children that is the appropriate next step, I've had a few children really notice a big difference and find themselves so much more able to stay on task at school. But for others it simply means that we would have more information about the child, how they learn and if there truly is a difference between home and school. It can lead to more appropriate strategies for the child and/or teacher to use for that particular child as well. For the most part an attention eval involves checklists that the parents and school/teacher fill out, the pediatrician goes over all of the information received and with the input of the parent will then decide what is the best thing for the child and their situation. From my experience physicians are very leery of giving an attention diagnosis unless is really is appropriate.
Good luck.

 

[Stephres]

I agree with those who say the problem might be that she is very smart. I was in the gifted program and spent the majority of my regular class time reading and daydreaming. I went to a program once a week and the rest of the time school felt like it dragged on and on.

My daughter never looks like she is paying attention. Her preschool teacher told me she was actually surprised that she knew as much as she did. I think all kids learn differently. I would ask the teacher if the problem is academic (it doesn't seem like it if she is understanding) or just behavioral. If it is just behavioral she could be bored or that might just be the way she is. Good luck!

 

[mom2001scrapper]

This sounds exactly like my DS (6). We were told the exact thing at both conferences that we had with the school this year. He's a smart kiddo and I'm not being a boasting parent. He's only missed 3 spelling words all year and we have 8 words each week. He also has gotten 100% on all of his vocabulary tests (6 words each week) this year. The vocabulary tests are hard in my opinion - words like wheelchair and streaking - they need to read them and use them in a sentence.
He is above grade level in math and loves to problem solve with numbers.
I'm not as worried since he is doing great work. I just feel he is bored and I've started a daily communication paper with the teacher. I just need to get her to send it home daily which has been a problem and she is the one who suggested it.
Julie

 

[Mouse House Mama]

My first thought is that she may be a very smart little girl. A common sign of Gifted kids is daydreaming and boredom, because they learned it the first time the teacher said it and don't want to hear it 4 or 5 more times. Perhaps she needs to be on an ALP (Advanced Learning Plan), at least that's what they have here.

Have you talked with your daughter? Does she think it's hard to pay attention? Why? Maybe she sits by a window or is otherwise distracted and moving her seat would help.

Good luck!

That is exactly what I thought. You are not going to cure her daydreaming. She is bored.

ETA- both my Mom and I are "gifted" (I hate that word) anyway- when my Mom was tested they told my Grandparents that while my Mom has an insane IQ she may never be able to learn how to fully use it. My Mom used to stand at the front of the room and read a whole report to the class. When she would turn in the paper to the teacher it would be blank. She was a daydreamer and even had a teacher hold her back a year because they simply did not know how to challenge her. I also wanted to add that she is a terrible speller but very smart about so many things. Good luck!

 

[StephMK]

I got a very similar report at DD's 2nd grade conference last Oct. -not paying attention, dreaming, etc.

I wasn't really sure what to do with that info or how to help. I just went to her spring conf. today & the teacher said it's gotten much better. She moved her towards the front of the class and she is sitting near kids that need some extra help. She said DD seems to enjoy being closer & enjoys helping the ones that need extra assistance. Since DD picks up concepts quickly, I think this helps give her another purpose, kwim?

Good luck!

 

[d1gitman]

our first grader had a problem with day dreaming and silliness. what we worked out with the teacher was a positive reinforcement to give our son extra incentive to focus his mind and energy on the task at hand. the teacher sends him home with a small piece of paper every day. on that paper she puts either a smiley face or a frowny face, some times an in between face. the teacher will draw one for the morning and the afternoon. once my son has accumulated 10 smiley's, he gets a special reward. sometimes its a toy sometimes its a special day with dad (me). ever since doing this, he has improved greatly. the teacher has called us a few times to say how she is amazed at how much he has responded to this. i had told her that our son understands work ethic. he knows that daddy goes to work to make money to live and also for things we want. he will often times ask for chores to do to either help daddy get done sooner for more play time with daddy or if he can earn a quarter or dollar here and there. the smiley faces are his currency for his job, school. it has been a minnie miracle for us and our son as we didn't want to 'punish' him for not focusing, rather give him motivation that he understands.

ps - we have since expanded the system to earning extra smileys for when the teacher writes extra notes on his smiley card. for instance he has gotten notes for 'extra helpful today', 'super kind', 'worked extra hard at reading', etc...so now he knows if he works even harder at something, he gets even more reward. last weekend i took him to the aquarium in Boston, it was great. another time i took him to chuck e cheeses. another time he bought a small lego set....

 

[MissouriPrincess]

I was a "daydreamer" in first grade. I was an only child (at the time), so being surrounded by other kids was interesting. I did go to pre-school and kindergartern, but I don't remember having any problems there. I do remember getting notes home all the time describing how I was daydreaming in class in the first grade. If I didn't have my work finished (which was often), I stayed in from recess until I finished it. It didn't take me long once the other kids were gone. What can I say? I was (and still am) a people-watcher!

By the time second grade rolled around, I didn't seem to have this "problem" anymore. I am now a teacher myself, and I still find myself daydreaming at times. Especially during long meetings. . .

 

[PiratesRock]

Does your child get a good nights sleep? Enough hours sleep AND good quality sleep? Both my children's attention spans improved when I addressed changed our bedtime routines. Moved bedtime back 30 minutes and put a baby moniter in their room so I knew if they were talking. I didn't tell them I was doing that or they would have been using it as their personal whine box! They just thought I had unbelievable hearing! Anyway, if your child snores at night, she will be tired and unable to focus or live up to her potential. Also will be more emotional.
My youngest is also very bright which makes class very boring for her, but this is improving as she gets older and her teacher is pushing her harder. My oldest is simply easily distracted and has asked the teacher to let her sit by herself behind the teachers desk sometimes to do her work, this helped a lot for her.
Good Luck with figuring out your little puzzler!

 

[LuvOrlando]

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