OT: Am I overreacting?

[dismom2]

You aren't overreacting. Nobody tells my child that they have to keep secrets from anyone, let alone sign a contract. What in the world.

aak

Exactly, and you need to explain to your daughter that she is NOT to sign any contracts without you being there from now on, and how this is not normal or okay. I would insist on seeing that contract, and I would keep my entire family away from these people. Keeping secrets is what bad things are made of. Big bell going off here. I also would not want my DH hanging around with, or defending, people like this---something is not okay with that, either.

 

[TheWog]

Good luck Anne.

 

[Kit'smommy]

What a disturbing thread.

No, you are not overreacting. I am glad your DD confided in you. I still think you need to sit down and talk to her to make sure nothing happened.

I would be very concerned with DH's reaction, however. I think if we were in this situation, my DH would have had words with the neighbor, so I would be very concerned over your DH taking this so lightly.

I feel really sorry for the neighbor's DD. Poor thing, there is no telling what she has been exposed to.

 

[PrincessTiffany]

OP, I hope that you go ahead and make a formal complaint with your local police about your neighbor. They may not be able to do anything to him at this point, but at least their will be a complaint on record if something happens in the future.

 

[GiGiJoeysMom]

You are in no way overreacting. Why the contract? What worries me is what she may be seeing and they don't want you to know about it.

OMG! Distance yourself is all I can say!

To each their own - if they're swingers, nudists, alcoholics, whatever.....but by making your daughter sign that contract - that is just plain bizarre if you ask me. You are not over reacting, I would be totally freaked out (and a little skeeved too!)

Tara OMG, when I read skeeved, I then I saw you were from PA. I swear when I say that people look at me like I am crazy.

 

[dreamin_disney]

weird! I dont blame you for being upset. I think the example the father gave is even weirder. you dd is underage to sign a contract right, legally?

This just make me think of the warnings signs of perverts getting kids to hide secrets. tell your dd she did the right thing by confiding in you, let her know your not upset with her but the girls family. I think her friend is not to blame and maybe its better for the friend to visit your house instead of sending dd over there. Poor girl might need to get away from her weird parents.

 

[dreamin_disney]

As far as over-reacting, No Way!!

I, like others, think you may be under-reacting. I do not want to scare you, but please make sure you talk to your daughter again and make sure no abuse has taken place. Victims are usually so ashamed and afraid that they will not admit to the abuse right away.

Your husband's reaction is alarming as well. He was furious until he found out who it was? To me, this is very suspicious. I admit I am not a trusting person and I apologize, but I would wonder if they have information on your husband that he doesn't want to get out, so he will not confront them on their behavior.

But your daughter is the important thing here. Please let her know that you will not be upset or angry (no matter what she has to say) if she has anything else to tell you and ask again if there is anything you should know.

great point! Curiious to know did you husband have to sign a contract since he hangs out there??? Have you met this man? If so what was your impression of him?

 

[dreamin_disney]

I really appreciate everyone's support. I took DD to EPCOT for the weekend for some time together. I also asked a friend's DH who is an officer what to do and he said that no laws were broken, but to get the contract back and he would look at it. I asked the wife for the contracts and she said she didn't know where they were (her hubby was out of town) and she would ask him when he came home (her DD told my child they were in the safe). I talked to the other mom involved today and she told me he told them he burned the contracts, but when she asked to see a copy, he brought it over. I will be going over there later to see it. I won't bother contacting CPS, because I've dealt with them before because of a cousin who's a drug addict and it's a joke. This man is in a really nasty feud with another neighbor and I don't want to bring this on myself or my kids when I know nothing will be done. I've called all 3 of my children's schools to make sure that they aren't to pick my kids up ever, and I am bringing a notarized paper in Monday to my daughter's school to that affect, because I know they let the mom pick her up before when she not on the approved list.

As for my DH, I really wish that I were in a position to leave him, but I'm about a year away from being able to make that move if things don't improve. I don't think he's cheated on me, because the husband is not the type to let his wife have her "fun" without him having an even exchange so to speak. The neighbors have never been naked (that I know of) when guests are over or I wouldn't have tolerated it. He's also always had at least one of my kids with him over there, although that has now stopped. I can't stop him if he decides to do that, I can only prepare myself to be able to leave and support my kids when the time comes. My DH had problems with alcohol before and I filed for a divorce and he turned his life around. Right now I really think that he's going through a midlife crisisand I'm really praying that he realizes whats important before he ruins all of our lives. Thanks again for the support. Anne

stay strong and continue to be a good mother. I hope things workout for you and your children.

 

[*pixie*dust*]

OP-- did you get to see the contract?

 

[tytydane]

DD (13) came to me and while we were talking, she says (out of the blue) I can't tell any of ###'s secrets or they can sue me. I immediately asked what she was talking about and she said her friends parents had her sign a contract that she wouldn't tell any of theirs or their daughters secrets. When she saw how upset I was, she said but it works both ways, they won't tell any of my secrets. The she tells me the example the girls father gave her was that if she became a prostitute (CAN I REMIND YOU SHE'S 13) he wouldn't tell anyone. These are good drinking buddies of my DH, they supply him with free drinks, way too many lately, but that's another issue, and he sticks up for them always. When I told him about the "contract", I conveniently left out who it was and he flipped out ranting and raving, but the minute I told him who, he calmed down and said, "Well that's weird". I know these people are nudists (and I think swingers), and I have told DD before not to mention it at school, because it's not the girls fault. I think if they were worried about my daughter saying something at school, they should have talked to me or DH. I told my daughter that she could play with the girl (who lives across the street) but couldn't go in their house anymore. I also asked my DD's best friends parents if they were aware of their DD signing this contract, and they were upset also. Today my DD came home and said the girl isn't allowed at our house anymore and when I asked my DH, he said they were mad my DD couldn't come over and that I had informed the other girls parent. When I called the other girls mom, she told me that they told her they thought the parents knew (then why would they get mad I mentioned it?) and that it only involved their daughter (then why was it 2 seperate contracts, one for the kid and one for the parents)

I am so furious about them putting my DD in this situation and they really (especially the controlling husband) disgust me. I don't want anything to do with them and I don't want my kids around them either. I am also angry at DH for putting his drinking above our DD's safety and well-being. Thanks if you got through all this for letting me vent. Am I overreacting?

you cant have a legally binding contract with a minor, just so you know.

 

[Cool-Beans]

The folks who said the contract isn't real are half right. You know what they say about a little knowledge being a dangerous thing.

Contracts with minors are not "void", but they are enforceable solely at the option of the minor. That means that the kid can legally hold the adult responsible for living up to their end. But the adult can't hold the kid to it. Really cool if you're the kid but not so hot for the dumb adults who don't know anything about the law and start signing papers.

I think the whole thing is totally weird and wouldn't have my kid going to that house ever, ever, ever.

 

[star sweeper]

The creep-o-meter is going off big time! Don't let your daughter near these people again.

 

[nikkers]

Very creepy! You definately are not overreacting!

 

[dzorn]

The creep-o-meter is going off big time! Don't let your daughter near these people again.

Stay away from that neighbor.