OT: Am I overreacting?

[wdwmom0f3]

I am so glad that you are close to your daughter, and that she is comfortable talking to you about anything. This whole thing is so weird. I have always told my children if someone tells you to keep a secret from your parents, it's something dangerous or harmful to you that they don't want us to know about. I have told them to tell me ASAP. I would never let my daughter go there, ever again. I would also put my foot down with DH. They may be a bad influence on him as well.

 

[LisaMommy]

Uh - time for your DH to ditch his so-called buddy. Free booze or not, no man should be discussing prostitution with an underage girl. I agree with the other poster that said he sounds very pedo. You need to ask your daughter if anything has happened that she's been forced to keep secret.

Definitely. That makes me think that there could be something she might be forced to be hiding.

 

[AuroraBeauty]

First, as another poster stated, your daughter can not legally enter into a contract. A contract signed by a minor voidable unless the parent(s) consent and sign as well. That being said, you have a right to at least a copy of that agreement that the neighbor put out to your daughter to sign, and which she states she signed.

The fact that it would be unenforceable in a court of law does not mean that the crazy person wouldn't attempt to sue on it. That would mean money out of your pocket to defend against even though it would be voided if you did not consent to it. I don't know if the guy would go that far as to waste his money but if he's a few entrees short of buffet you never know.

You could send a letter to the guy, since you probably don't want to see him. But if you want to ask in person that's OK too. However, it might be better to send him a letter asking him for a copy of the 'agreement'. Send it certified return receipt so you have proof that he got your letter and if he doesn't pick up your letter then you have further proof should he try and involve the courts.

If you don't want to send him a letter, you may want to talk to an attorney and have him/her send a letter asking for a copy. It might cost you $150 or so and I don't presume to know your situation but it's a suggestion.

In addition, because the neighbor did this you may want to call the police. Don't call the 911 line but get the local non-emergency number and ask to speak to an officer or have one sent out to explain the situation. It is quite possible that other girls have been put in this same situation and if you think anything funny might be going on it's better to be safe.

And before I go, I have to say that your daughter sounds like a great gal. You should be proud of her and of yourself. Proud of her for knowing she can trust you and for being able to know that something just wasn't right. And proud of yourself because you just had your proof that you did your job well!

Best Wishes!

 

[disykat]

Reading this I also wondered about calling the police non-emergency number and asking for advice about this situation. This is just too creepy to live with.

Although I guess this could all be about nudism, my first thoughts about what secrets they could be keeping in their home are much worse. Especially since they seem worried that their "secrets" are exposed to underage children in their home - their own and others. I might feel obligated to report to CPS on behalf of their kids. (Seriously - making their kid's friends sign privacy statements not to divulge secrets! What on earth do their own kids know that they're afraid they'll tell?)

I think it's likely things are going to get uglier. Unless dh wants his name dragged into whatever they've got going on he needs to step away!

 

[Schmeck]

I second (or third) the notion to report this to the police. The guy could have cameras in his house, taking photos of your daughter in the bathroom, etc, and he could be using the 'contract' to say he has legal rights to do so. Of course he doesn't have the right, but he sounds twisted enough to believe he does.

Your grumpy husband needs a good kick in the pants - the whole drinking buddy scenario should be done with by the age 22, IMO. I'd also get him into treatment for alcoholism if not drinking for 3 days has made him miserable.

 

[bellebud]

I second (or third) the notion to report this to the police. The guy could have cameras in his house, taking photos of your daughter in the bathroom, etc, and he could be using the 'contract' to say he has legal rights to do so. Of course he doesn't have the right, but he sounds twisted enough to believe he does.

Your grumpy husband needs a good kick in the pants - the whole drinking buddy scenario should be done with by the age 22, IMO. I'd also get him into treatment for alcoholism if not drinking for 3 days has made him miserable.

i already responded, but I wanted to wholeheartedly agree w/ this post. I'd speak to the police for sure (as other posters have also said). For all you know, they're already watching this guy. Even if not, it's best to let them know, and CPS too (or maybe the police will have to report it to them anyway?). Yes, it could just be a nudist thing, but honestly, I really doubt it. I don't personally know any nudists (that i'm aware of, but i'd think their lifestyle wouldn't include being out of line and creepy to children too.

I also wanted to respond about your dh. I didn't want to say too much in my first post, but since this poster said this, I'd like to agree. Of course I don't know you or your family at all, but you seem to have a lot on your plate, and you seem to be the only one concerned about this (the only adult in the household sort of). I really want to wish you well with all this.

 

[kellyg403]

Heck no I don't think you are over reacting! That is the craziest thing I have ever hear. Dh or no DH I would be making sure that this loon understands that whatever secrets he thinks he may have that requires CHILDREN to sign contracts must be pretty skanky and shouldn't even be around children.

I wouldn't be nice to this person. I would make sure that the next time he even thought about having this conversation with another child my face would appear and cause him to think twice.

Kelly

 

[MommaSnowwhite]

I have known and still do know nudist. The parents of one of my good friends from high school were nudists. I would never had known if they were if he hadn't told me. This guy is really creepy - he reminds me a a neighbor we had when I was young. He ended up being a child molester. Be careful and call the police.

 

[The Disney Bunch]

no - you are not over reacting - that is just weird and it sounds dangerous. I would steer clear of them & the dd. Kids cannot legally sign a contract anyway so just tell your dd that. I would be upset with the topics that this adult is discussing with kids also.

 

[Alesia]

Almost always, when there is a thread asking, "Am I overreacting?" my answer is a resounding "Yes!"

Not today. If anything, I think you are under reacting. This man has child molester written all over him. It isn't enough to try to keep your kids away from him, because you can't be with them all of the time.

For the love of God, call the police. Today.

Seriously.

 

[DawnM]

I wouldn't even have been calling, I would have been distancing my DD asap from such odd people. People who have serious secrets are the only ones I would ever suspect would *need* this kind of thing.

This is beyond weird.

,

Dawn

 

[AUDramaQueen]

Almost always, when there is a thread asking, "Am I overreacting?" my answer is a resounding "Yes!"

I was thinking the same thing!

The more I think about this, the more I agree you should contact the police just to see what they say. Who knows? Maybe someone has called before about this if he's making all the girl's friends sign, but the police didn't think it was enough to act on. Of course, then the ACLU might get involved and sue everyone for acting this way just because he's a nudist.

 

[sherreis]

I don't think you're over reacting. A grown man talking about prostitution with a 13 year old girl, and asking her to sign a contract with them smells awfully pedo to me and a set up for a possible abuse situation. It doesn't matter what their life style is. If he can get her to do that, and try to hid it from you what's next?

My thoughts exactly!

I would be very leary of these people and you need to keep your DD away from them. And, make sure that DD knows that you are not punishing her for telling you the truth - lots of praise for this for her to feel secure enough to come tell you.

 

[mjkacmom]

OMG - if an adult made my child sign a contract stating that she wouldn't tell about what happens in that house, I might think to contact the police, especially knowing that they might be involved in some risky sexual practices.

 

[#1 Pocahontas]

I don't think you're over reacting. A grown man talking about prostitution with a 13 year old girl, and asking her to sign a contract with them smells awfully pedo to me and a set up for a possible abuse situation. It doesn't matter what their life style is. If he can get her to do that, and try to hid it from you what's next?

Yup!! It screamed child molester to me as well. I would never let my daughter around those people again. I would also report it. That just isn't normal.

I obviously don't know what goes on in your home but if you dh is really acting the way you say he is then that is a big problem! Putting free beer above the safety and well being of his child is insane. Sorry, but it is. He needs to realize that. If this was my dh he would also never been allowed to be with these people again.

Perhaps this guy is purposely drinking it up with your husband just so that he won't see the situation clearly.

 

[disneybound2010]

In NO WAY does this sound like you are overreacting! This family sounds very disturbed. Any responsible adult whould not be asking young girls to sign "secrecy contracts." To me, this sounds very much like grooming.

How long has this family lived in the neighborhood? While your DH is the man's drinking buddy, how well do you actually KNOW the family? The reason I ask this is because a "friend" that my DH had a few years back turned out to not be who DH thought he was at all. I didn't care for this man from the first time I met him...BS detector went off at full speed when I first met him. He seriously gave me the creeps, but he was friends with DH and had known him long before I was in the picture. I would usually go over and just entertain myself(the man's wife and daughter were odd too) or send DH alone. When this man's DW got pregnant with their seconmd child, the guy started really weirding me out. He would make some strange remarks to me and later they became quite suggestive. He would ask me not to say anythign to DH. Now, I was a GROWN woman and he was doing this. Needless to say, it didn't go over well. DH cut off all contact with him and the family. DH even started realizing that there were waaaaay too many strange things going on there in that household.

We keep up to date with the child predators in this area on the state police site and while doing a search one day, guess who showed up? Yup, DH's former friend. He had been convicted of sexual assault on a young girl...

I would immediately contact the police and get answers on how to go about handling this. I would also be doing a search on this man and his wife to make sure that they are not on a predator list and I would DEFINITELY be talking with other parents whose children may spend time at this house. While your DD may be safe, who knows what could have or may happen to the others who dont speak up to their parents.

 

[mommy-on-the-move]

I don't think you're over reacting. A grown man talking about prostitution with a 13 year old girl, and asking her to sign a contract with them smells awfully pedo to me and a set up for a possible abuse situation. It doesn't matter what their life style is. If he can get her to do that, and try to hid it from you what's next?

That is EXACTLY what I thought before I even read the above comment and reading the whole thread it sent similar bells ringing in alot of other parents heads too. It smacks of grooming to me and I'd report it or at the very, very least call around your daughters social group (or mention to the school so they can approach other parents?) to check other children haven't been lured into this weird "what's in the house, stays in the house" type contract- many kids wouldn't be as smart as your daughter and may not have mentioned it and are vulnerable enough to think they're legally tied to it. Predators prey on children using fear tactics of "telling" and that's what this wreaks of!

 

[Subrbnmommy]

I don't think you're over reacting. A grown man talking about prostitution with a 13 year old girl, and asking her to sign a contract with them smells awfully pedo to me and a set up for a possible abuse situation. It doesn't matter what their life style is. If he can get her to do that, and try to hid it from you what's next?

I Didn't read everything but, that is exactly what I was thinking. Opens the door to potential scary situtation.

 

[MickeyMomOfThree]

I am stunned to read this, and I hope I do not offend you, but it's only partly by the creepy neighbor.

Yes, he is disgusting, just sick. I don't care what you do in your personal life, but to let impressional teenagers know about it is just wrong. There is no reason for kids to know about adults sexual pratices. I totally believe you should be open with kids about the birds and the bees, but they don't need those kinds of details. But I don't live in a cave, you hear stories about creeps every day, sad but true.

My biggest concern is your husband. Gosh, I think if this was my family, I'd be worried about my husband's reaction to this and not because he'd take it lightly. My DH is a mild tempered man until you mess with his family, then you'd better watch out. I can't get over your DH's reaction, that is what is really bothering me.

You totally need to contact the police. So often you hear of bad things happening and there were signs that went overlooked. This to me is a giant, glowing neon sign. Don't look back on this moment with regret. Keep your DD far away, and keep a good eye on her, I know it's hard to do when they get older, but you have to. I personally would rather assume he has bad intentions and be wrong, then assume it was nothing and be wrong.

I too feel bad for their daughter, by notifying the police hopefully they will insure her safety, right now you have to take care of your daughter.

Overreacting, not even close....

 

[TheWog]

You are not overreacting. The part I find weird is that your husband didn't go over and punch this clown in the face. Talk to my child like that and then expect them to sign some stupid contract. If he was a good enough friend he would understand why he just got laid out. You need to have a serious conversation with hubby.

Sounds like you have raised a pretty good, responsible child there. Keep up the good work.