OT: Allowances for Kids

[jeancbpugh]

11 year old gets $5 a week

6 year old gets $2 a week

They don't have to do chores for it. They don't pay for any of their own expenses. We don't have fines.

Their allowance is a set amount that they can count on. They usually save it for big things. The 6 year old saved for over a year for his gameboy.

I also pay for grades.

 

[cruisnfamily]

OK, here's our system which was put in place because money burns a hole in DD13's pocket. If she gets a quarter she has to run right out and spend it! She's terrible!

We noticed this past summer that she was spending our money like water. Here's a typical week: mall twice(which we had to give lunch money for, but not necessarily spending money), movies once, roller skating once, and probably 2 more "something else" type of things in addition to sleeping out and having friends over. We didn't really mind financing her social life but we realized we weren't teaching her anything other than the fact that money comes out of mom and dads pockets whenever you want to do something. It was absurd!

So, we decided when she turned 13 in October to give her an allowance of $13 per week. She is required to save 1/4 of it so she actually gets $9.75 in her hand to spend every week. With this money she is responsible for financing her own social life. Any mall trips(incl lunch money at the mall), roller skating, movies, etc are on her unless we go somewhere as a family, then of course we still pay. She goes skating every single Friday which takes up $7 of it leaving her $2.75 per week to spend on other things. The idea is to teach her to prioritize. Like if you go skating, then you can't go to the movies or the mall, etc. And also, no borrowing ahead. If you owe money for something, that comes out of the allowance before it hits your hand. She pays me $3 per month for her text message pkg on her phone so I took that out of her allowance last week which only left her $6.75 which was not enough for skating.

We do still pay for needs, just not wants. We pay for school lunch, clothes that are needs(she pays for wants, presents for birthday parties she attends, etc.

That $3.25 per week is adding up quick and she's up to over $65 in her bank account. We told her she may withdraw from her bank account for major purchases(with our approval) but she may only withdraw an amount equal to what she has in cash. For example, she wants to buy $100 roller skates, she needs to save $50 in cash and then she can take $50 out of the bank account. This would require skipping other activities for a few weeks to save the cash amount. We're trying to teach her to save, sacrifice, make good choices, etc. I'm not sure she has learned how to manage her money yet but we're working on it. Slowly but surely.

We also do not tie allowance to chores. You do chores because you are part of the family, period! There are opportunities for extra cash though like weeding the flower beds and mowing the lawn, both of which pay pretty well.

DS10 wants an allowance too but we told him when he's a teenager we'll start his allowance and we've tried to tell him he actually gets the better deal with us funding all his expenses.

So, sorry so long, it didn't realize how long winded I was but we feel like we've got a good system in place and we're proud of it. It should eventually acheive it's goal of teaching money management.

 

[lbgraves]

I am also starting this with this kids this week. Their chores are part of being a member of the family, like someone has already said, so that wont be tied in. I want them to learn to manage money. Half of the weekly amount will go into their bank account that we will open this Friday after school. 1/4 will go in a bank for vacation savings & the rest will go in another bank for spending when they have something they want to buy like GBA games or a special Barbie.

 

[Julia M]

Thanks for all of the ideas. Just FYI, here's what i went with.....

I have been letting the kids get hot lunch once a week, which is $3. So, I gave them each $12, and said there is your hot lunch money......if you eat out less, you have more cash....if you want more hot lunch, you pay for it. It will also stop the little manipulation of "Oh I forgot my lunch so I HAD to get hot lunch". I told the kids, you get hot lunch, you pay, whether you planned it or not.

Oldest ds (13) got $25 for the month, dd (11) got $20 and ds (8) got $15. I have to do it once a month......I cannot keep up with once a week. And since the money is designed to teach money management, getting money once a month can help with that.

I also chose 9 basic chores that I really wanted done, that need to be done daily, and are about equal in energy and effort. I asked each child privately which chores they preferred, and it actually worked out. I also choose my three "pet peeves" (hanging up a towel after a shower/bath, clothes on the floor, and having school and after school items ready the night before) that I wanted each child to follow through with.

So, I told the kids that the money was there for them to use, but I would fine them if the chores weren't done. Essentially, I am SO tired of hearing kids argue over who's turn it is to feed one of the two dogs, or change the cat box, etc. So maybe fining kids isn't the best thing for teaching money management (I actually tend to believe more in the idea that chores are what are needed when you are part of a family, and that allowances are for teaching money management), but I REALLY NEED IT FOR MY MENTAL HEALTH!!!!!!!

Hopefully this will help out.

I figured I'd deal with the whole clothing and school supply thing for ds in May or June, after he graduates. He doesn't need it now, so if I can just get a basic allowance system in place, I'll be happy.

Julia

 

[CindyBeth]

OK, here's our system which was put in place because money burns a hole in DD13's pocket. If she gets a quarter she has to run right out and spend it! She's terrible!

So, we decided when she turned 13 in October to give her an allowance of $13 per week. She is required to save 1/4 of it so she actually gets $9.75 in her hand to spend every week. With this money she is responsible for financing her own social life. QUOTE]

I really like this idea! I have been stuggling with how to teach my dd14 financial responisibility and I think this will be a good way to start. Right now she gets $8 a week(her grade) and spends it as fast as she gets it!

Keep the ideas coming!

 

[Julia M]

OK, here's our system which was put in place because money burns a hole in DD13's pocket. If she gets a quarter she has to run right out and spend it! She's terrible!

So, we decided when she turned 13 in October to give her an allowance of $13 per week. She is required to save 1/4 of it so she actually gets $9.75 in her hand to spend every week. With this money she is responsible for financing her own social life. QUOTE]

I really like this idea! I have been stuggling with how to teach my dd14 financial responisibility and I think this will be a good way to start. Right now she gets $8 a week(her grade) and spends it as fast as she gets it!

Keep the ideas coming!

My only issue with "requring" kids to save part of their allowance....they're not really learning to do it by themselves, and isn't that part of the whole money management thing?

I am actually hoping that my kids DO screwup a bit now and then, because I'd like them to do different things (like spend all their money at the beginning of the month and miss something at the end) and have these experiences NOW, and not when their older and the consequences more significant.

I'm not trying to criticize anyone, or how they do things......just wondering what people think about this concept, too.

Julia

 

[NeverlandClub23]

When I was younger my parents gave my brother and I an allowance depending on our age. So when I was 11, I got $11 per week. Which was great because we got a raise each year! We stopped getting allowances when we got a job around 15-16. My parents usually bought us clothes two times a year but they were by no means "designer" anything (I survived ). One time my mom decided to pay us at the beginning of the month in one lump sum. The money lasted a week and then I was begging for more. I was a pretty good begger. Good luck and I know when I was a kid, too much was never enough so do what you think is sufficient.

 

[geetey]

The statement I made regarding you get paid for what you do (like a real job), that is what I am trying to teach my daughter. I know that some kids don't do that and I see it every day as well. I'm just trying to teach my daughter what is right and what is wrong...You don't show up for work and do your job, you don't get paid...

She also has jobs that she must do as well and doesn't get paid for them. Making her bed is actually one of them. When she was 4, we paid her so she'd get use to doing it. When we re-adjusted her chores, it got replaced with something else and it was a regular chore espected to be done. When she helps me unload the dishwasher and empty small trash cans, she gets paid for that as I normally do those types of jobs.

I can also see about tying allowances into chores, but then again, I'm not just going to hand over money like I'm a bank. It has to be earned...I won't always be around and I want her to be able to learn about handling money, how to earn it the right way (doing a job, not borrowing, etc..), and how to use it responsibly someday. I see many relatives asking for money from their mom like she is the "Savings and Loans". They are now adults and need to stand on their own two feet. Their mom has bills too and she won't always be around. I just hope to teach my child something good...

etwinchester, we follow a plan similiar to yours. Our two children have basic chores that they are required to do because they are part of the family, but we also have paid jobs for the kids as well. Each has the ability to earn up to their age. We have had looooong talks about giving to charity, saving for Big purchases, saving for smaller purchases. DD is currently saving $$ for a car (she is 12), so she puts more than half of her commission into her savings. Both children give 10% to church. Both save a minimum of 50%. We don't shop much but they know if they want to play games somewhere, buy packs of bubble gum or trading cards, they need to bring their spend money along. It's funny how if it is THEIR money, they don't want things, but if it is my money they do!

I don't see anything wrong with paying for a job, especially a well done one. I believe it is because of this concept we use that my son will come and ask if he can open a lemonade stand or go shovel someone's driveway. He's got the idea... work = $$.

As the kids get older, the process continuously evolves. In fact, my son just 'quit' one of his jobs and got 'hired' for another. All pretty good life lessons, if you ask me.

Good luck to the OP. I hope you find a plan that works for you.

 

[disneygals]

I most often pay my girls with sticky notes that say, IOU! Does anyone else do this? Then they drop the bomb on me when they bring me 14- IOU's and catch me off guard (and the bank account) and break the bank!!!

I keep track in my calendar...my middle child never spends hers...just realized I owe her $66 in allowance!

I give my kids half their age and it's not tied to chores. I will (and thankfully haven't in a long time) take money out of their allowance for misdeeds, usually those directed at a sister!

 

[kayebee]

Interesting topic---I have a question though: at what age did everyone start giving allowance? We recently started with my 4 1/2 year old because she would ask me to buy her everything and anything whenever we went shopping, so the allowance thing really put a stop to that! It was amazing how the words "You have to use your allowance for that" made her rethink the worthwhileness of many purchases.

Anyway, we're still working with the instant gratification thing. There are lots of things she wants to get that cost more than her allowance ($5, with $2 of this going into savings) but she doesn't realize if she forgoes shopping this week that she will have twice as much to spend next week.

She has finally figured out that a five dollar bill is worth just as much as five one dollar bills, so we're making progress!

 

[txgirl]

My only issue with "requring" kids to save part of their allowance....they're not really learning to do it by themselves, and isn't that part of the whole money management thing?
Julia

I initially thought this way also but I decided that some disciplines must be taught as they aren't very good at seeing what's around the bend. I don't think I will *always* make them save but initially when they aren't able to see the fruits I will do this and when they can see the benefits they will better be able to make the decision themselves.

I equate it with something like brushing their teeth. They can't know the cost of a cavity or the pain so we *make* them brush. Eventually they have to brush on their own without being told but they have years of the discipine set in place along with visits to the dentist.

I hope I can instill a better sense of the savings concept than what I ever had! By reading through this entire thread I have decided to give my girls a raise! They are thrilled and it also helped take the sting out of the savings idea when they are now getting more money. It seems to always be a good time to put more back when DH gets a raise then we don't miss it as much!

I love all the ideas and I think these boards are an invaluable source of info.

 

[teril]

I've been reading this thread and gleaming several ideas....my daughter has had an allowance (she is 9 and recieves $2 guess I need to up my $$$ ) and a list of chores to complete. I've tried the taking away allowance for chores not being done and it doesn't seems to work well. I to believe they are part of daily family responsibility but have to admit I'm quite frustrated with them not being completed or having to remind. I like the idea of having 2 sets of chores - 1 that is expected and 1 that can be pay / penalty. Just a question what kind of chores would list in either area for a 9 year old?

 

[txgirl]

I've been reading this thread and gleaming several ideas....my daughter has had an allowance (she is 9 and recieves $2 guess I need to up my $$$ ) and a list of chores to complete. I've tried the taking away allowance for chores not being done and it doesn't seems to work well. I to believe they are part of daily family responsibility but have to admit I'm quite frustrated with them not being completed or having to remind. I like the idea of having 2 sets of chores - 1 that is expected and 1 that can be pay / penalty. Just a question what kind of chores would list in either area for a 9 year old?

I have always tied food to my kids chores! Seriously, no breakfast until the beds are made and the bathroom is wiped and cleaned. I make sure there is plenty of time to get it done, but it happens. Those girls are hungry and there are some biscuits downstairs calling their names!!!! Oh yea and breakfast is served at 7:30 -no later. Basically they know they have to get it done and get it done on time or they hop on that bus with an empty tummy! I know it might sound harsh but it only happens once (if that! ) If we wake up late then all bets are off. We had like a training period for two weeks before I really enforced the 7:30 time limit but then we were off and running.

Same thing after school. No snack until everything gets put away. No nagging (their bellies do that for them)

No playing unless the room is clean. Again, no nagging. They can sit and watch paint dry, but until their stuff is done they can't do anything else.

The chore charts were necessary for a while because they really can't remember that well. We used page protectors and dry-erase markers. Now they know them by heart so no big deal.

Parenting with Love and Logic by Cline & Fay really changed this Natzi/controlling mom into one that put the decision in the hands of my kids. Now they know- they choose the behavior then they choose the consequence that goes with that behavior. Much better than: GET IN HERE AND CLEAN THIS JUNK UP BEFORE I LOAD IT UP AND GIVE IT AWAY RIGHT NOOOOOOOOW!!!!!!!

 

[mrsbornkuntry]

Just a question what kind of chores would list in either area for a 9 year old?

The things that I expect my 9yo to do are basically things that involve picking up after herself and all of my kids are expected to do these, even my 4 yo: putting dishes in the dishwasher after meals, putting dirty clothes in the hamper, cleaning up their toys, hanging up their coats/shoes in the closet. My rule is: If you got it out, put it away. If you messed it up, clean it up. The only thing I don't enforce is making their beds, my kids just don't have time in the morning and I don't want to wake them up any earlier.

Extra chores for my 9yo include: sweeping/mopping the floors (except her room, that's expected), unloading the dishwasher, cleaning up after the baby, putting laundry in the washer/dryer, cleaning trash and toys out of the van.

If I ask my kids to do something it does not mean they will get paid for it. For example, if I say: "Haley, will you please finish clearing the dinner table?" She's expected to do it regardless of whether or not I'm going to pay her for it. She can ask if I'll pay her, but she still has to do it if I say no.

 

[mrsbornkuntry]

Parenting with Love and Logic by Cline & Fay really changed this Natzi/controlling mom into one that put the decision in the hands of my kids. Now they know- they choose the behavior then they choose the consequence that goes with that behavior. Much better than: GET IN HERE AND CLEAN THIS JUNK UP BEFORE I LOAD IT UP AND GIVE IT AWAY RIGHT NOOOOOOOOW!!!!!!!

That sounds too much like me I'm going to check my library for that book.

 

[txgirl]

That sounds too much like me I'm going to check my library for that book.

I must add there are times when their book is a bit too passive for our DH & I are raising our kids. Sometimes we tweak it a bit to make sure the consequence being applied really hits home, if ya know what I mean.

 

[minnieandme]

I have decided to do the allowance thing this year. I have 2 boys ages 7 & 12 and they will get $7 and $12 respectively. They do have a list of chores that must be done for the week. If they do not do something, they get an X. 3 X's for the week and no allowance. I gave them 3 envelopes marked Spend, Give, Save. They must give a percentage to church, a percentage goes in their bank accounts and the rest they can spend which ever way they want. I just feel they earlier start they have at budgeting the better off they will be later on in life. It's funny how they want everything they see in the store with my money, but when they have their own money, they think long and hard before making decisions and if it's worth having.

 

[geetey]

I've been reading this thread and gleaming several ideas....my daughter has had an allowance (she is 9 and recieves $2 guess I need to up my $$$ ) and a list of chores to complete. I've tried the taking away allowance for chores not being done and it doesn't seems to work well. I to believe they are part of daily family responsibility but have to admit I'm quite frustrated with them not being completed or having to remind. I like the idea of having 2 sets of chores - 1 that is expected and 1 that can be pay / penalty. Just a question what kind of chores would list in either area for a 9 year old?

teril,
We actually sit down with our kids and brainstorm about ideas for jobs for them. Basic things like putting away your clothes, hanging up your clothes, cleaning up after yourself in the bathroom, etc.. are not paid for here. We also don't pay for anything to do with the normal care of our dog. Hey - they wanted the dog. I am not going to pay them to take care of it now that we have it!

Some things that my kids have on their list.... vacuum the stairs, dusting, emptying the dishwasher (flat fee for an entire week - might run it once, might run it 3 times), watering plants, folding laundry (towels are a good place to start), taking care of their clothes (bringing all dirty laundry downstairs, bringing clean clothes back upstairs and putting it ALL away).

We also use the paid list as a way to teach a habit - similiar to the 'brushing teeth' example. When my kids were younger, they would never had their backpack ready for school in the morning, so we added that to the paid list. Now it is habit and we no longer pay for it, and no early morning drama either.

txgirl,
I love what you said about putting the decision in the hands of the child. That's how we feel! I feel like we have created a safe environment for the kids to make mistakes and see what those consequences are. One time my ds decided to do a quickie dusting job. Well, it was obvious he hadn't gotten to everything. He had a choice - go back and do it right, or don't get paid for the job. He thought about it for 20 minutes, decided to do it over again because he really wanted the GBA game he was saving for.

I am really enjoying this thread!

 

[deltachi8]

Reading this had me sit own with my 9 year old last night. He hasnt really been on an allowance as of yet, he doesnt spend much, and tends to save verything given to him to spend on something he wants (Lego Store at DTD).

So, I said, how do you feel about $9/week in allowance if you complete a list of chores we agree to AND half goes into a savings account?

He said he will let me know his answer tonight. Funny.

 

[mommy22gurlz]

Actually, we just had a "family meeting" last night about allowances. We decided that starting Friday my dd13 will get $20/week and dd6 will get $5/week. This was decided after last week dd13 scammed us for 2 movie trips~$10 each, racecar place $20, and $10 for a church lock in for New years!!! We ended up giving her $50 in 4 days for her "social life"!!!! Every weekend she makes plans with friends and it always includes her needing money, so we figured this to be a way for her to manage her spending and little more conciously than just having us hand her money whenever she asks.

We told her she has to use this money for any entertainment (unless with us of course), presents for friends birthdays, and pedicures (which she just decided she can't live without) and whatever else comes up. We will still buy her necessary school supplies (not the $10 binder thats hot pink that she saw at Walmart thats just cuter than hers ), her clothes and haircuts but anything else she will just need to learn to manage to get on her own. I just can't afford her anymore!!! I keep teasing her and telling her I'm gonna trade her in for a younger kid....

My dd6 will get her $5 every week, she can use for toys, icecream man (that she hears when he's like 8 miles away) or whatever else she wants.

I'm still kinda torn about making them save a portion of it, a part of me wants to make dd13 save 5 of her 20 and dd6 save 2 of her 5 but another part of me says let them just do what they want with it, they will have to learn money responsibility when they grow up anyways!! I haven't decided on that part yet.

Tammy