OT: Allowances for Kids

[Julia M]

I've tried off and on to give my kids an allowance, and that's my New Years Goal.....to really implement it.

I want to have them learn to manage money, and I'm not sure how much to give each one. Oldest ds is 13 1/2, and will be in high school in the fall. I'd like to have him buy his own clothes. Should I give him a flat amount for the year, or budget it for each month? I am figuring he might need more this first year, because he's growing so much (he's grown 5 inches in the past 7 months). I also want him to buy his school supplies (not books, but paper, binders, etc) for high school.

Dd is 11 and ds is 8.

While I absolutely believe that allowances are about learning to manage money, I am also instituting a couple of fines, to be assessed by me (and me only). These are for the couple of things that are driving me crazy, and get me so irritated........hanging up one's towel (rather than leaving it on a lump on the floor) and putting clothes in the hamper.

I was thinking of $15-$20 per week for oldest ds, with him paying for any social things also.

The maybe $5-$10 per week for the younger kids?

I want enough that they can feel they can do something with it, but not so much that they are "rich".

Any suggestions would be helpful.

Julia

 

[traycie2201]

I hope i can help with this one from both points of view, when i was 13 ish i convinced my dad to give me a years in one go with the agreement of course that i'd buy clothes etc from it, yeah right it lasted about a month and then of course it was all gone and dad still had to buy everything for me, great in theory for me but not in practice.
Now i have my own 14 year old and i've gone with a standing order from my bank to his on the first of each month for the equivalent of about $50 with this he needs to pay for his own trips to cinema etc with friends, mcdonalds and the like but we still pay for his clothes, school stuff etc. If he wants a pair of riduiculous priced designer sneakers we would expect him to save for this , likewise games for the pc and ps outside of xmas and birthdays we would tell him to save for. We don't expect a lot from him in return in my eyes, just to keep his room tidy and smelling okay ! and to do some basic housework on a weekend, empty dishwasher , vacuum etc not that this always gets done We have told him that if he is ever really out of order, attitude etc we will cancel the amount instead of fining for things not done, we tried to do this by paying it in proportion, i.e vacumming = $$ but it was too much trouble, Hope my thoughts help. Good luck. Traycie

 

[barkley]

i think monthly is a good way to go because that is generaly the way an individual will budget when they reach adulthood.

i would suggest looking at ALL of the expenses associated with the child-lunches, school supplies, clothing, any sports/activities/lessons that have fees, and then what YOU believe is reasonable for leisure-figure out what the amount is. while you don't physicaly give them the entire amount, each month sit down and say "o.k-here is the money allocated to your expenses this month, let's start budgeting it out", then start going through each of the fixed expenses and deduct, figure out if the clothing/school supply expenses need to be used this month or would be better served in a "holding account" to cover upcoming expenses (say like the tux rental for the jr. prom?). the remaining amount is then budgeted by week/day-you can budget 20.00 for lunches at school, but if you spend $10 in 2 days running to the snack shack it's gonna be pb&j the last 3 of the week.

there will be bumps along the way, but i think it will instill a better understanding for the child of how much is realy going out on them per month
and how it has to be spread around.

oh-and in the case of "loans" against the next month-i would advise strongly against it, it just gets them geered up for the concept of credit cards and "buy now, pay later".

 

[terryfromhawaii]

I pay my kids' allowances by the week. I have a 13 (almost 14) year old DD, 10 (almost 11) year old twin DD's, and a 3 (almost 4) year old DD (she doesn't get an allowance yet). I pay my kids $1/year of their age. Example: 13 yr. old=$13/week, 11 year old=$11/week. However, since they all chip in and help with the babysitting of the 3 year old (DH and I have our own business so when we go out to work, they babysit), they each get a little extra for that so the 13 year old gets $20/week, and the 10 year old twins each get $15. They have to contribute monthly to our church and the rest is theirs to spend how they want. They also have to use their allowance for their Disney spending money so they usually have to start saving way before the trip (annual trip to either WDW or DL). My 13 yo DD uses her money for buying expensive clothes (I'll pay a portion of her clothes but she has to dish out some for the expensiveness). My twins spend it all on toys or game boy games. It's so much easier to have them manage their own money, I don't have to hear their whining that they want me to buy them something.

 

[beattyfamily]

We pay weekly. The amount we pay them is their age and then we automatically put half in their savings account and they get the other half on Fridays.

 

[etwinchester]

I use the Dave Ramsey Financial Peace Jr. set and DD (age 5) loves it. Right now, I only give her half her age. Once she gets older I'll give her more but right now I feel that $20 a month is way to much for a 5 year old (the most she can make a month is $10). I already pay for her lunches, school/college fund, clothes (things that I am responsible for as a parent), etc... If she wants anything extra, she'd have to pay for that.

On her birthday, we re-adjust the chores (given more as older) and amounts plus revise the fines. She'll be 6 in a couple of weeks so starting on her birthday week, the most she can make per week is $3. Dave calls it a commission, not an allowance since it is something you EARN, just like a job.

She only gets paid for the chores/jobs she does (makes bed, cleans up toys, feeds dogs, empty small trash cans, help sort her laundry, etc...). Each day she does her chores, I pay her so much per chore and mark it on the chart. If she doesn't do a certain chore/job, she doesn't get paid for it (again, just like a real job).

There are also fines she can get for being mean to other kids, not listening, etc... We did have thumb sucking on there till I found a real bitter nail polish. We didn't need that fine after that!

On each Sunday, we add and subtract everything and she gets paid. A percentage goes into the savings, to charity and the remaining is hers to spend (a guideline and envelopes come with the kit). For right now, I don't want her spending money to be too much. She already has Toys R Us in her playroom so we either go to the dollar tree or she saves her money it for something bigger.

The Financial Peace Jr. Kit is so great. Comes with a chart (erasable - use dry erase markers), saving to buy chart (she can cut something out she'd like and use it for a goal), three envelopes (saving, giving, spending), kids calculator, kids money pouch, reward certificates (you can use if they do something above and beyond), instructions and story booklet to explain saving & spending (which is a great story for kids). I highly recommend anyone to check out the set.

DD would never listen to me before but now she loves earning money and does what she's told. Heck, she even asks for more stuff to do around the house... Best purchase I ever made!!!

 

[ohiominnie]

I Each day she does her chores, I pay her so much per chore and mark it on the chart. If she doesn't do a certain chore/job, she doesn't get paid for it (again, just like a real job).

I must humbly disagree with this statement. I know LOTS of people who continue to get paid but do not do their job well. I experience them all the time, mostly in "customer service" type rolls. Or I see them at the local theme park---the janitor who walks right by litter. Or I see them at the drive through window---getting my order wrong...AGAIN!

Many many people do a substandard job and continue to get paid. Yes, this eventually may catch up with them and they'll get fired, but in the meantime they do get paid.

I also wonder sometimes about tying allowance to chores. Right now that's how it is in our house, but then I wonder ....shouldn't they be doing some of these chores because they are part of the family and they need to contribute to that? Questions to think about.

 

[happytraveller]

I must humbly disagree with this statement. I know LOTS of people who continue to get paid but do not do their job well. I experience them all the time, mostly in "customer service" type rolls. Or I see them at the local theme park---the janitor who walks right by litter. Or I see them at the drive through window---getting my order wrong...AGAIN!

Many many people do a substandard job and continue to get paid. Yes, this eventually may catch up with them and they'll get fired, but in the meantime they do get paid.

I also wonder sometimes about tying allowance to chores. Right now that's how it is in our house, but then I wonder ....shouldn't they be doing some of these chores because they are part of the family and they need to contribute to that? Questions to think about.

Hi, it's funny you should say this, as i often think the same thing.On the one hand,i think when i was younger, i HAD to babysit-i was the eldest.Very rarely was there any kind of reward.The same for chores around the house.However,also when i was young, very few children had /expected realistically ,to get the latest gadgets, clothes ,snickers ect.This is seen as the norm these days.So, do we want kids to think they can just ask and get-or make them feel they have earned the right to have those items?I think in many cases we would rather make them think they have earned those items than think they only have to ask for them,so therefore we pay them, for their contributions.I suppose many parents just see it as a sign of the times really.

 

[pansmermaidzlagoon]

We don't tie money to chores. Allowance is something DD8 gets to learn how to handle money and about delayed gratification, etc. Chores are something she does because she is a member of a family and we all have responsibilities and things we do to contribute to the family and help each other. I was raised to get allowance for chores and really didn't know any different until our pediatricain explained it this way and it made perfect sense.

I guess we have been stingy with the money - DD is 8 and has been getting $2 a week and half of that goes to her college savings bank. She doesn't know any better and is happy with it - it mainly goes for Littlest Pets and beanies - her two favorite things - and luckily pretty affordable! When we know a WDW trip is coming up she will save it for that.


I can see when she gets older offering to do extras that are not expected in return for being able to earn larger items or items she really wants that we are not willing to spring for.

 

[missypie]

OP, that is my resolution, too. DS is two weeks away from 15, DD is 13 and DD is 10. For a few years I've given them $5 a week - $3 to spend, $1 to save and $1 for gifts for others. It really hasn't worked well. The older two don't go out a whole lot, but I'd like their entertainment money to come out of "their" funds instead of mine..same way with snacks at school. The youngest one spends very little. I kind of like the dollar per year of their age...I have to compute and see if that would give them too much or too little money.

 

[mrsbornkuntry]

I also wonder sometimes about tying allowance to chores. Right now that's how it is in our house, but then I wonder ....shouldn't they be doing some of these chores because they are part of the family and they need to contribute to that? Questions to think about.

My kids don't get a set allowance, but if they want to earn their own money, like my DD is saving for a guinea pig, they can do extra chores around the house. I have the chores split into what is expected of them because they are part of the family (which they will not get paid for) such as putting their dishes in the dishwasher, clothes in the hamper, etc. and chores that are extra that they can earn money for such as cleaning up the baby's toys, putting away the baby's clothes, things that my DH or I would normally do.

 

[Brooknwdw]

Hi ~

My kids are 7 & 9, & they get $2/$3 dollars a week respectively.


It isn't much but they are young & I buy everything for them. I'm just trying to show them that things cost money. This gives them the realistic idea that you have to save for expensive or extra things that aren't in the normal budget. My 9YO has $35 saved..he saves for bigger toys/a new GBgame, etc. It adds up fast.

We also involve them in saving for Disney..they can earn extra money while we are saving, too. I want them to know that going to Disney is something special & we can't just snap ours fingers & magically appear there.


The only way their allowance is tied to chores is that if they get three warnings per week "free" (if they haven't made their bed without being told, or taken out the trash, etc thats a warning) after the third warning in a weeks time, warnings after that cost them a dollar.

Hopefully this is teaching them responsibilty...plus they quickly are learning to do things without me having to hound them over & over.
They have only lost a dollar each since we started this plan a few months ago, so it seems to be working.

I NEVER got an allowance growing up & I did ALOT of chores. PLus my parents never discussed money with me, so really I didn't learn how to handle money until I made some mistakes along the way as an adult.

Hopefully I am doing the right thing for their ages. As they get older I will add to the amount, but not nessessarily a dollar for their age.

 

[gottaluvdis]

My kids don't get a set allowance, but if they want to earn their own money, like my DD is saving for a guinea pig, they can do extra chores around the house. I have the chores split into what is expected of them because they are part of the family (which they will not get paid for) such as putting their dishes in the dishwasher, clothes in the hamper, etc. and chores that are extra that they can earn money for such as cleaning up the baby's toys, putting away the baby's clothes, things that my DH or I would normally do.

This is exactly how we do it with our DD9. There are certain "chores" she is expected to do without being paid. Above and beyond that, she knows if she wants to earn extra $$ to ask me for additional "jobs" she can do. The most recent extra job was to turn all the Christmas lights on every night (each individual window candle, the tree, etc. on both floors - it was pretty extensive). She had to do this each night without being reminded, for a month. Once it was all over (this past weekend), she earned $12 ($3 per week). She has quite a bit of $$ saved, so we will be taking a look and making a trip to the bank soon so she can deposit a good portion into her own bank account.

 

[etwinchester]

I know LOTS of people who continue to get paid but do not do their job well. I experience them all the time, mostly in "customer service" type rolls. Or I see them at the local theme park---the janitor who walks right by litter. Or I see them at the drive through window---getting my order wrong...AGAIN!

Many many people do a substandard job and continue to get paid. Yes, this eventually may catch up with them and they'll get fired, but in the meantime they do get paid.

I also wonder sometimes about tying allowance to chores. Right now that's how it is in our house, but then I wonder ....shouldn't they be doing some of these chores because they are part of the family and they need to contribute to that? Questions to think about.

The statement I made regarding you get paid for what you do (like a real job), that is what I am trying to teach my daughter. I know that some kids don't do that and I see it every day as well. I'm just trying to teach my daughter what is right and what is wrong...You don't show up for work and do your job, you don't get paid...

She also has jobs that she must do as well and doesn't get paid for them. Making her bed is actually one of them. When she was 4, we paid her so she'd get use to doing it. When we re-adjusted her chores, it got replaced with something else and it was a regular chore espected to be done. When she helps me unload the dishwasher and empty small trash cans, she gets paid for that as I normally do those types of jobs.

I can also see about tying allowances into chores, but then again, I'm not just going to hand over money like I'm a bank. It has to be earned...I won't always be around and I want her to be able to learn about handling money, how to earn it the right way (doing a job, not borrowing, etc..), and how to use it responsibly someday. I see many relatives asking for money from their mom like she is the "Savings and Loans". They are now adults and need to stand on their own two feet. Their mom has bills too and she won't always be around. I just hope to teach my child something good...

 

[mickeyminnie]

I am paying equal to their grade in school each week, 3rd grader gets 3 dollars, ker gets 50cents, because I buy most of what they need, I expect them to save up this money for wants, extra toys that kind of thing and really that much money adds up appropriately for each. A couple weeks and my ker can get a hot wheel and his world is great, and my 3rd grader doesn't need to be buying high ticket items, she saved and bought a tomagotchi that she really wanted.

I will re-eval as we go along about what is paid and what I expect them to buy with that money

 

[txgirl]

I am paying equal to their grade in school each week, 3rd grader gets 3 dollars, ker gets 50cents, because I buy most of what they need, I expect them to save up this money for wants, extra toys that kind of thing and really that much money adds up appropriately for each. A couple weeks and my ker can get a hot wheel and his world is great, and my 3rd grader doesn't need to be buying high ticket items, she saved and bought a tomagotchi that she really wanted.

I will re-eval as we go along about what is paid and what I expect them to buy with that money

This is more in line with how much my girls get. My 8 year old gets $1.50 and the 10 year old gets $2.00. They get a .50 raise on their birthday! (whoppee! ) I should probably increase this by some, but they aren't responsible for anything that they buy except wants and I will often meet them in the middle on something they are saving for if grades are good and attitude is in check.

Now as far as chores. You must do chores whether you get paid or not, but if you don't do chores you must pay me for my time and effort to remind you to do chores. Make sense? Oh well, it works for my kiddos. I will pay mine extra for extra chores especially if they want to earn more money. That doesn't mean if I ask them to do something extra that I'm obligated to pay them for that. It only means if they offer to do something in order to raise money I will work with them.

They started chores at 4 & 6 and they make their beds, wipe down their bathrooms and take down trash every morning before school. When they get home from school they clean out their backpacks, empty their lunchboxes and put away jackets and shoes (before snack...that's my leverage! )
They also vaccum their rooms once a week and keep them tidy. They are getting really good at helping with laundry both folding and putting away.

I most often pay my girls with sticky notes that say, IOU! Does anyone else do this? Then they drop the bomb on me when they bring me 14- IOU's and catch me off guard (and the bank account) and break the bank!!!

 

[can'twait]

We've been thinking about the allowance issue too.

The IOU thing sounds like a good idea, because I try not to carry cash for fear I'll spend it, and then I can't pay the kids their allowance, and then I forget, and owe them, etc. At least they can keep track of the notes and figure out what I owe them!

The kids are 5 and 8 and they don't buy anything for themselves, so when I said you won't get paid if you don't do chores, they couldn't care less, so that didn't work. So, they have chores which are tied to TV and video game time, which lights a fire under their butts more than $. Hopefully the chores will become habits instead of tied to a reward. I intended to give them $2 each per week but lately since I've been forgetting, I just give them $20 each every once in a while. I had them keep it in their treasure chests until I noticed DD was pilfering it for snacks at school! So now when I give it to them I note the amount and date on a ledger (on a post-it) in the treasure chest. This way I can check to make sure nothing went "missing" since my last entry.

I opened up bank accounts for each of them with $10 a few months ago, and plan to deposit a portion of the allowance once it reaches a certain amount that I don't want them stashing in their rooms. I showed them the statements with the interest - a big .03, yippee! It sounds silly but DD8 was impressed. I also told her that you have to pay interest when you borrow, and that's like letting the bank take $ from you. I'm trying to instill avoidance of credit cards in her! I also bought her a money management book for kids for Christmas. Hopefully it will spark some conversations.

Right now our goals are to teach money management skills. The kids buy each other Christmas and Birthday presents from their stash, but they don't spend it on anything else. If people give them $ for Birthday and Christmas gifts, or even if my uncle gives them $10 each when he visits I confiscate it and put it in bank accounts we opened for each child when they were born - this is their college savings. We have added some $ ourselves over the years, but not much. Each account has over $4,000 in it! Of course this has nothing to do with allowance, but it's one financial move I'm proud of.

 

[DisneyGScout]

My DD's are 10, 8 and 6. They each have chores and each get allowance, not exactly tied to specific chores but overall they have to help out with stuff on a daily basis and then they get paid at the end of the week. My older girls get $5 per week and the younger one gets $4 dollars per week (and sometimes an extra $1 for helping out above and beyond the call of duty without complaining). Of that $2-3 dollars per week goes into their individual savings accouts (envelopes which go to the bank when the $$ reaches $25 or more). When they get money for gifts, they get to choose how much to put into savings as long as its at least 20%, and they usually put more into the savings account then I ask them to.
They have to help with all chores, dishes, laundry folding and putting away, and general housework (sweeping, vaccuming, and bathrooms), feeding dogs and cleaning up back yard. Each weekend I make slips of paper with chores on them, fold up the papers, and put into a hat. Then the kids AND THE PARENTS each draw out 3 chores each in a random way and they have to help do those chores. They like to choose their own chores this way and I let them swap amongst themselves if they want to. This avoids me "assigning" chores to each one and complaints about the oldest ones getting the harder chores. On a daily basis, I rotate who I ask to carry out the trash, put away laundry, help with dishes, etc. The daily chores are not tied to allowance but are a part of living as a busy family.

They use their money for any and all extra things such as Starbucks, arcade games at the local Pizza place, etc. Since we live close to Disneyland, we go about once a month to either Disneyland or to Legoland or the Zoo (annual passes are a must in our budget! ). I limit them to $3 apeice on snacks when we go, and they use their allowance money for anything extra above the $3 I chip in. This stops complaints about "she got more". They also stopped begging me to buy them stuff once we started this system a year ago. I will reevaluate the allowance amounts as they get older but for now they don't ask for more so we "let sleeping dogs lie!"

This year, they each spent their own money buying Christmas presents for each other, without me having to chip in! I was really proud of them.
The only problem now is getting them to keep thier money put away and not carried around in pockets! I have a new rule, any money found in the washer or dryer belongs to the person who did the laundry! One time I found $15 that they each claimed was theirs! The new rule works as an incentive to be the "laundry helper" (to be the one who finds the money!) as well as a disincentive to leave your money in your pocket!


Happy New Year!
Sara

 

[Danemom]

I think we've tried every one of these methods at some point or other. Here's what we've found that works for us.
Each child, DD12 and DS10, get $10 every two weeks. $5 goes into saving, $5 into their pocket. They can spend the $5 however they want. We discuss anything they want to use savings for. They used some for Christmas presents and will use some for spending money at WDW.
For the most part, we still pay for all their expenses but we do limit some things. For example, they both love to order books from their school's Scholastic book order forms. Since we go to the library every week, they must pay for books they want to buy.
The allowance is not tied to chores but they both have chores they must do as members of the family.

This system is not perfect but it works for us because...
1. We actually do it!
2. It gives them some control over spending. If they blow the $5 on the first day and are broke for two weeks, they learn to consider purchases more carefully.
3. They learn to utilize resources like the library.
4. They learn that families work together to maintain a household. Nobody pays me to do laundry or clean bathrooms!

For us, this is just enough money to teach them some lessons but not so much responsibility of paying for all expenses.

 

[Mom-to-2-Princesses]

We tie the girl's allowance not to chores around the house (setting table, clearing out dishwasher, putting clothes away) - those are expected as being a part of the family, but rather to their bedrooms.

This past summer I made a chart, each morning I would check their rooms, if it was clean and bed made they would get a check, if not a circle. And on Saturday they got paid prorated. I never argued with them or reminded them. The first week they got 50% of their allowance, the next week 100%.

This helps me since their rooms are 100% their mess and therefore, their responsibility.

It works for us!

Lee Ann