OT:4+ year difference between siblings

[GoinToDisney]

Oh, momtoaredhead, I can see what you mean with the older sibling HAVING to help with the baby. However, I was the older sibling and I loved helping with my brother. Maybe it was because I always knew I could say no. My cousins who were forced into too much responsibility for their younger sibs do resent it, though. I think it is a matter of balance and making sure your child knows he or she has a choice. The same aunt who made my cousin watch her younger kids used to expect me to take the kids at family functions. My mom would always tell me that I didn't have to watch the kids, and I would always say, "Oh, please, I really want to."

To the person who said it's just like the other silly things parents worry about like when to start solids, etc., you are so right. I think I was just looking for confirmation that everything will work out and that this phase of trying and waiting will eventually become a distant memory.

 

[lgncd]

i am 6 years older than my sister and we are closer and have a better relationship than me and my other sis and we are only a year apart. also my sis that is 6 years younger lives across the country, my sis that is a year younger lives 15 minutes away

 

[PA Princess]

I am so sorry about your loss. I had a miscarriage and now the pain. I know for me I had a picture in my head of how I thought we would have children, and the reality of it has been so different from my plans. But I have to say that I know for us the reality has been better than my plans

We adopted a baby (short version - I had a 14 year old student who became pregnant and she asked my dh and I to adopt her baby...after much thought and prayer, we did). When our oldest was 4 months, I found myself pregnant (we were not trying to conceive, but tired new parents and I guess we slipped some where).

We had 2 ds's ages 2 and 1 and we decided to have one more baby...thought we would conceive easily since first time was easy. We actually did conceive that first month, but we had a miscarriage at 12 weeks. Broke my heart but even harder were the months and months of trying that followed year of trying. With medical help we finally had dd when the boys were 4 and 5. We were so happy

Well, imagine our suprise when 3 years later (and literally a week before dh was schedule for his little procedure) we found ourselves pregnant - shocked beyond words!

So we now have ds 13, ds 12, dd 7, and dd 2. Having the boys close in age has been fine for us (with one adopted they are more different and complimentary to each other in temperments and talents rather than competitive with similar strengths and talents), but having the 4 1/2 year age gap with the others has been just fine for our family...gives everyone some space to enjoy their place in the family, I think.

 

[powellrj]

my kids are 24, 16 and 11. I tell people I have 3 only children! On the plus side, you never have 2 in diapers at the sametime, you don't have 2 in high school at the same time and once they get older you always have a sitter available and they keep you young!

On the down side, you have kids at home FOREVER! DH will be retirement age before DD leaves home, you get more worn out as an older parent than you did when you were younger, you are so tired of many activities that the younger child will sometimes miss out on things because you can't face one more trip to Chuckie Cheese and its no fun to potty train one child when you are teaching another one to drive!!

 

[mickeymousemom]

I have three girls ages 18(oct. 2nd), 13, and 4. My two oldest fight quite a bit, but I know its because they are so different and both female. They also will not put up with anyone else hurting the other one. We waited quite awhile for the youngest. We'd try for awhile and when nothing would happen, we'd give up. Finally, several years after the second one was born, we relaxed(thinking it wasn't meant to be) and, lo and behold, along came our little Stinkerbelle. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers. If and when it's meant to be, it will happen.

 

[cl1067]

I have three DDs and they are all five years apart...ages 11, 6 and 1...birthdays all in Dec, Jan, and Feb...and I honestly love it! I really got to enjoy the time each of them was/is little. I watch my friends that have had two kids in two or three years and it seems they are so busy with the "work" of taking care of two small children they never just get to enjoy.

The older two really are really good friends...and it works pefect when playing house or school because the younger one never objects to being the student or kid My youngest absolutely adores my middle one and follows her around more than she does me!

Our youngest was a surprise and having her 10 years younger than the first is probably the hardest part. Our oldest is getting into more extracurricular activities so the baby is drug around more than the first two were but she doesn't seem to mind too much

Here are the advantages to think about:

1. Only 1 in Diapers at a time

2. Basically only 1 in FT daycare at a time (if that is an issue)

3. An older child gives you an extra set of hands...even if its just to grab that thing off the floor

4. When the first sibling is older you do have less jealousy

5. The older sibling(s) really get to enjoy the younger one(s).

And to me the biggest thing is...a baby is a joy no matter how far between siblings you have...hang in there, your day is coming.

 

[tlbwriter]

My younger sister and I are 15 months apart. Sometimes we're best friends and sometimes we fight like cats and dogs. My older sister's children are 10 years apart. Sometimes they're best friends and sometimes they fight like cats and dogs. It will be fine. I hope you have better luck soon.

 

[grlpwrd]

We have 5 kids, aged 2, 4, 9, 12, and 16. Also, I have an identical twin sister and I have a brother who is 3 years older than me and a younger brother who is 4 years younger than me. From my experience, I wouldn't worry too much about age difference. Kids born close in age or a few years apart doesn't matter - they will manage to fight and be close, too, regardless. lol

Just love and teach them and foster healthy relationships.

Take care....

 

[Desnik]

My older sister and I are 4 years 10 months apart. My younger sister and I are 17 years apart!!! We are all very close.

My kids are 4 years 10 months apart. I didn't want another baby until DD was about 3. We tried and got pregnant and had a miscarriage at 8 weeks. DS was born and he was a very sick baby. I really am greatful for the space between them. It made it better to have DD in school when he was born. She helped out a lot. It was great not having 2 of them in diapers at the same time too!!LOL Once my DS was about 3 I started to want another baby. Well I got pregnant and then miscarried at 14 weeks. That was horrible. I found out he was a boy and there was nothing genetically wrong with him and that has been so hard to deal with. That was last Oct. I can't even imagine going through that again. I know exactly how you feel. I am so sorry you had to suffer 2 miscarriages. I wish you luck trying again. Don't worry about the age difference. My kids are very close and they are a boy and girl and they still play together and love eachother very much.

 

[disneyandme]

Mine are 4 1/2 yrs apart and get along fine. My DD3 has severe food allergies and it was a blessing to have her sister a bit older when DD3 was born so that she was much more independent.

 

[all4fun]

I don't have personal experience with this as a parent since my ds is an only and will likely remain so, however I have two brothers who have 9 years between them that are very close - they even still live in the same house (both confirmed bachelors - but that's another story!).

Also my nephews are about 5yrs apart and get along very well. They are 14 and 9 now.

I wish you the best w/subsequent pregnancies.

hth

 

[disney_fan_fam]

(((HUGS))) sweetie......


My kids are 4 years apart each, by choice. I couldn't handle them any closer honestly.

 

[DisMom-2-SSS]

My oldest daughter is 15, son is 8 and youngest daughter is 4...almost 5!
So, mine are PLENTY spaced apart and I LOVE it!
We also had a miscarriage between son and daughter #2 and almost had a little "snip-snip" surgery because I did not want to go through that again! But thank God we didn't! Keep your head up gal!

 

[Juliet25]

I'm so sorry for your losses.

I have one DD4 and another on the way. My due date is 3 days after DD's birthday, so my kids will be 5 years apart. It's not ideal, but I think there are benefits as well. DD had all my attention for these five years, and the new baby will get lots of individual attention when DD starts kindergarten.

 

[jaxpooh]

My oldest is 18, my youngest will be 5 next month...they get along great most of the time.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

My sister and I are 7 years apart. We are very close. Don't stress yourself out worrying about the age difference.

 

[#1 Pocahontas]

I'm sorry for your losses

Mine are 3 1/2 years apart and I love it. I actually chose it this way because I just wanted to spend that time with my first dd by herself. Now I have alone time to spend with DD#2 while my oldest is in school. We want a third and are waiting at least 3-4 years again.

My girls enjoy playing with each other despite the age difference. My oldest tends to mother her sister at times but I think they both enjoy that a little. I know she enjoys teacher her things. They have a wonderful bond already (they are 5 and 1).

 

[kileybeth]

so sorry for your lose. do not be discouraged, when your next little one comes along it will be perfect timing, no matter how far between them. We love the wide age spans of our kiddos.

My boys are 25, 20, 15 and almost 5years. oh and then our girls are the impatient type and are 12 and 2 . I always say they "should be" 10 and just coming now!

to be honest it has been way easier for me having them more spread out then these last two who are only 27 months apart. of course I am way older now . . .

so yeah,
25 (5yrs 6 months later)
20 (5 yrs 2 months later)
15 (2yrs 9 months later)
12 (7yrs 6 months later)
4 (2yrs, 3 months later)
2!! (no more later!!)

Disney lovers All!

 

[reginaastralis]

Keep trying!

My mom had my brother and I with little to now problems. We're two and a half years apart ... and honestly during most of our childhood we would play together, but I wouldn't call us friends.

My mom desperately wanted a third child. She tried and tried after my brother ... and nothing. When my brother and I were 13 and 11, along came a baby sister. Whew. She wasn't planned for, but very much loved and wanted. My sister is nine, and while a PITA, she's a wonderful kid. I'm 23, with a two year old of my own ... and I tell Jordyn that her neice is "payback".

I'm not planning on having a child for awhile ... Hopefully until marriage comes along ... but I've always wanted my children to be 5-6 years apart. At first, I wanted them wham bam close together, but my daughter is high needs/clingy and I don't think I could have handled another one. I am content knowing that when she's 6, I think I'll have forgotten enough of what I went through with her to have another child.

 

[dougsmom98]

There are four years difference between our twins and our youngest DD. If I had known how good it was going to be, I would have spread out the ages of my other children too. All of my boys just adore their baby sister. It is so much easier on me having this big of an age difference. My DD loves hanging out with the big kids all the time too. It's been great.
Best wishes.