OT:4+ year difference between siblings

[disneymarie]

I have a 3 yo dd and have been trying for #2. It's 14 months and 2 miscarriages later, and there is no baby in sight. I am now at the point where my kids will be 4 years apart, and I was wondering how many Dis parents have kids 4+ years apart. I need some encouragement. Just feeling a bit down today.

I had the first two, then the third 5 years later. Twelve years later, when my oldest was turning 21, we had a surprise, she is 12 now and an Aunt when she was 9.

It is funny because when she went to Disney one year with my older daughter and I it was as if there were no age difference. They fought like they were the same age. "Don;t poke me" I am first, that is mine, you pushed" LOL

Siblings just figure it out.
Blessings to you and your family.
dianne

 

[brodyjen]

My girls are 4.5 years apart, and while I would never have planned for that kind of age gap, once I had it I was tremendously glad. My older DD is very independent, and being old enough to realize how much bigger/older she was than the baby did wonders for her maturity levels. It's really only been the past few months where we've started to have some normal sibling rivalry but it's not bad at *all*. They will only be in the same school at the same time for one year (5th and 1st grades), so I think that will help them to each have their own teachers, friends, activities, etc... yet we still do a lot together, so they get sister time as well. It's a nice balance. My friends and family who have had kids within a year or so - wow, I cannot even imagine how I would have handled that. Obviously, I would have coped, and we were happy and open for *any* healthy pregnancy we got! But I do enjoy the timing we ended up with.

 

[MidgeD79]

This year my kids will be 28, 26, 22, 21, 13, 9. My grandkids are 11, 8, 5, 4, 3. We are a wild and crazy family and birth orders keep changing because of....well that's another story. We all love each other as well as can't stand each other. we are family.

 

[LilGMom]

I'm very sorry to hear about your loss.

I am 3.5 yrs. younger than my sister, DH is 3 yrs. older than his sister and his middle sister is also 3 yrs. older than the youngest. My boys are 4 yrs. and 2 days apart. I love that my oldest is independant enough that he has always been able to understand when his younger brother has needed my time and he's always been able to entertain himself when needed. They don't play together a lot right now but they play more than I would ever imagined they would. I like that they will be far enough apart so that one won't ever have to really worry about being in the other one's shadow.

Good luck!

 

[Vannah]

I'm the oldest in my family.
There's about an eight year age difference between me and my youngest sister, about a four year age difference between me and my middle sister, and about a four year age difference between my youngest sister and my middle sister.
So, we're all about four years apart.

 

[Stan's MaggieMouse]

My sons are 10 & 1/2 years apart.

Maggie

 

[Freyja]

There is a 5 1/2 year age difference between our second and third child (both girls). The time just wasn´t right in our lives before then to have another child. They usually get along fine and love each other very much

 

[dreamn_Disney]

My dd was 13.5 and I was one day shy of 36 when I gave birth to my second child. I had resigned to the fact that dd would be an only child and then I found out I was having ds. I don't know who was more excited me or dd.

 

[Jack&Ryan'smom]

I know it's hard not to feel down...but everything happens for a reason! My boys are 4 years and 6 weeks apart. They are more apart then we had wanted them to be...taking a wile to get pregnant and a miscarriage inbetween. My boys just adore each other!!! Of course my DS2 thinks he's 6 too. I do love having time alone with my younger one now that DS6 is in school all day.
Just think...you won't have 2 in college at the same time!!! Good Luck and prayers to you!!!

 

[SqueakyMouse]

There are 8 years between my 2 older children, both boys. I had given up hope of having another child when younger ds was conceived (naturally, btw, which we were told would NEVER happen) and carried to term with absolutely no problems. While the boys fight like all siblings do, older ds has taken a greater interest in ds than I've seen most children do. Younger ds, in turn, idolizes his older brother. As others have stated, don't worry about the age difference.

 

[SeeDisney]

Look at my siggie and you'll see my kids' ages. They all play and have fun together and it's heartwarming.

I know dozens and dozens of families that are exactly like mine.

Don't worry about and keep trying!

 

[sk8jdgca]

My kids are 3 years 9 months apart. He will be 5 next week and DD will be 9 at christmas. They get alot fairly well. The only major problem was that DD started JK 2 weeks before my son was born-It is tough to be 3 in school full time but to go through the new baby thing at the same time was a lot to handle for her.
She is an amazing kid-she is very mature and nuturing-can't wait until she can babysit.
DS is probably one of the few 3 year olds last year who could sing every High school musical song. He is into everything his sister is-musicals, Hannah Montana HSM and American Girl dolls (has a boy twin).
I like this age difference 1 will not have 2 kids in post secondary at the same time, nor in high school at the same time

 

[darlak]

My 4 are 28, 23, 20 and 13. I found the 5 year age difference to be perfect. There are pros and cons to both having them close in age and to having a bigger age span. At five, my DD was ready to give up being the baby and she was so excited about having a baby brother. My middle two are 2 years and 5 months apart and that was a blessing in many ways and a pain in others. The one age span I would recommend to everyone though is the 15 year span. As a 35 year old mother of 4, one of them a newborn, I had to wonder how I had ever managed the others when they were infants, without a 15 year old to help!

 

[Michigan]

My two (both girls) are 8 years apart one will be 10 in January and the other will be 18 10days after that.

 

[ThreeAngels]

Our boys are 4 years apart (well, technically 3 years and 361 days!) and our DD came along 4 1/2 years after our younger son.

Tried to have DS #2 sooner, but it took a while. Then, with DD, we had put off TTC because we moved to Georgia and wanted to get settled here. Once we got a house here, we thought we'd better get started esp. if #3 took as long to conceive as #2 did. With her, though, we got pregnant the first month of trying.

Given the choice now, I honestly couldn't space them any better than they are. It was so nice being able to "baby" one baby at a time. I always had an eager little helper (or 2). My kids are all very close. Sure, they can fight with the best of them, but they really look out for each other and enjoy each other's company.

I truly believe it is not age difference that determines if siblings are close and get along, but rather their individual personalities. My own sister and I are 14 years apart and we aren't close at all. But it's because of our personalities, not our spacing. I wish we were closer, but I've tried and tried again, so I've about given up by now and it does make me sad. (I'm the younger sister BTW)

Best of luck to you! Your children will end up being spaced just as they should be and I'm sure you'll love it!

 

[Andy B]

My children are DS16 and DD10 they generally are very good together.

My nearest sibling is 7 years older than me and my oldest 14 years older.

 

[waltdisneyworlddreamer]

Everything will happen in God's time. Many times we want it our way and our time schedule, but God knows what is best for us.

My boys are 5 years apart and we wanted it that way. I was able to fully enjoy the toddler time with the older without making him share his "baby" time. He was independent enough to do things for himself when I had my younger and he was in kindergarten so I got the alone time with the baby to bond with him. Hang in there!

 

[abolanwoski]

I have a 3 yo dd and have been trying for #2. It's 14 months and 2 miscarriages later, and there is no baby in sight. I am now at the point where my kids will be 4 years apart, and I was wondering how many Dis parents have kids 4+ years apart. I need some encouragement. Just feeling a bit down today.

Don't despair! DD is 3 also and after 2 years and 4 miscarriages, I am now pregnant and holding on at 11 weeks. Hopefully this one will stick. But DD keeps telling me how much she wants a sister (hope I can oblige!) even though she has never known about any of the pregnancies. I think until she changes her tune, or I become menopausal, we'll just keep this up.

BTW, my oldest sister is 14yrs older. I just spent a few days with her and I'm always reminded how much I loved and adored her when we were younger. She didn't always feel the same about me - but I blame my Mom for that (forced babysitting, etc) And now, we get along great even though we live hundreds of miles apart. My next sister is 18 mos older than me and we never got along and I still often want to strangle her!

 

[Jill in Chicago]

Our boys are 5 years and 3 miscarriages apart. If you haven't yet, it is time to see a specialist. We waited until I had 3 miscarriages. I wish we would have gone after 2 miscarriages as they were able to figure out our problem.

I LOVE the age gap. It gives you time with each of them when they are young and so needy. The older one can truly understand what is going on around them when the baby is so demanding. They can also understand, "On Saturday you and I will have a day alone and Dad will be with the baby." A little 2 year old cannot fathom that.

Our boys do not fight. Our youngest has always adored his big brother, but we never forced big brother to share his friends, play with him.... When big brother had friends over that was my time alone with the little guy. If big brother didn't feel like playing with his little brother he didn't have to.

Our boys are now 19 and almost 14. They still play together when the oldest is home from college.

 

[blana]

I don't have kids 4+ years apart (yet), but my brothers were 5y11m and 4y8m older than me. The oldest & I got along great. The youngest & I fought like cats & dogs. And the two of them fought like cats & dogs. But, I always loved them. And now the youngest & I get on great. (The oldest & I have our moments. ) It's definately doable.