opposite sex children and sleeping arrangements.

[luna99]

Hey guys... I had this converstation with my husband the other day and really just wanted to see what the majority think about this topic. I'm not trying to cause any kind of heated debate so I really hope it doesn't go there. Here we go.

I have seen people on the boards mention that they have a son and daughter who are teenagers and so when they go to Disney the mom will sleep with the daughter and the father will sleep in bed with the son. While that's fine and all I guess I just don't see what the big deal would be if the parents wanted to sleep in the same bed together and the kids sleep together in the same bed. Maybe it's because I grew up just me and my sister and didn't have a brother, but I just don't think it would be an issue. My husband on the other hand does. He says there is a certain age when kids of the opposite sex shouldn't be sleeping in the same bed together.

I guess I sort of understand this concept but to me, on vacation, for just one week.. what's the big deal?

Anyway.. I was just curious about view points on this topic. Am I crazy and wrong? We have one son right now (a baby) and are thinking of having a second child soon.. so if we have a daughter do I need to realize that on future vacations I'll be sleeping with my daughter all the time? Like I said, maybe I'm just naive because I never grew up with a brother.

Thanks!

 

[Diegosmom]

I feel teenagers of opposite sex should NOT be sleeping in the same bed...wether brother and sister or cousin or friends. Just not right...not really sure at what age...

I am going to go with about 12...although I think if the girl was 12 and the boy was much younger that would be ok...starting around 12 boys can have some interesting dreams and not sure it is right to be in bed with his sister.

 

[smitch425]

Hey guys... I had this converstation with my husband the other day and really just wanted to see what the majority think about this topic. I'm not trying to cause any kind of heated debate so I really hope it doesn't go there. Here we go.

I have seen people on the boards mention that they have a son and daughter who are teenagers and so when they go to Disney the mom will sleep with the daughter and the father will sleep in bed with the son. While that's fine and all I guess I just don't see what the big deal would be if the parents wanted to sleep in the same bed together and the kids sleep together in the same bed. Maybe it's because I grew up just me and my sister and didn't have a brother, but I just don't think it would be an issue. My husband on the other hand does. He says there is a certain age when kids of the opposite sex shouldn't be sleeping in the same bed together.

I guess I sort of understand this concept but to me, on vacation, for just one week.. what's the big deal?

Anyway.. I was just curious about view points on this topic. Am I crazy and wrong? We have one son right now (a baby) and are thinking of having a second child soon.. so if we have a daughter do I need to realize that on future vacations I'll be sleeping with my daughter all the time? Like I said, maybe I'm just naive because I never grew up with a brother.

Thanks!

When we travel, I sleep with DS and DH sleeps with DD. DS occasionally snores and I can sleep through it where as DH would not. We bring a small fan with us to put next to DH's head so he can't hear each and every little sound, and that helps, too. DH has been asking to let the kids sleep together sometime, but I am adamant that it will not happen. Not because there is anything wrong with it, just because I think they would (literally) kick each other out of the bed-- either before they fall asleep or after. For the safety of my children, we divvy them up. It works for us. Well...MOST of us.


ETA: I do agree with this...

I feel teenagers of opposite sex should NOT be sleeping in the same bed...wether brother and sister or cousin or friends. Just not right...not really sure at what age...

I am going to go with about 12...although I think if the girl was 12 and the boy was much younger that would be ok...starting around 12 boys can have some interesting dreams and not sure it is right to be in bed with his sister.

I still have several years before it will be an issue with my kids. Thank goodness!

 

[maxiesmom]

I do think that after a certain age children of the opposite sex shouldn't share a bed. Once one of them hits puberty would be my cut off.

If you end up with a son and daughter you can always bring along an air mattress and have them take turns sleeping on it, so that you can share a bed with your husband. Or book at resorts that have pull out beds.

 

[clanmcculloch]

I only have girls so I know I won't need to face this issue.

That being said, I grew up with a brother and when we travelled it was girls in one bed and boys in the other. While I know my parents weren't worried necessarily about appropriateness, I do know that my brother and I would have been very uncomfortable with a different arrangement. I honestly don't recall how old we were when we started doing the arrangements this way as I don't recall it being any other way. That being said, I also suspect it was as much about size of the beds and size of the people than anything else. My parents are both plus sized so we fit in those full sized hotel beds better by having one parent and one child per bed.

I would think that once any kind of changes are happening in either child's body or they're learning about the birds and the bees (either from mom & dad or from kids at school) then they'll just feel uncomfortable sleeping in the same bed as an opposite gender sibling.

 

[ccgirl]

Which is why I don't do hotel rooms anymore. It is my and my DH's vacation too and we want to sleep together. Both my children are very restless. My DS is only 3 and once in a great while they will sleep together (if we are driving a long way and get a hotel room for the night). If they were teenagers..nope. I'm thinking they wouldn't want to sleep together anyway.

 

[scrapquitler]

Hey guys... I had this converstation with my husband the other day and really just wanted to see what the majority think about this topic. I'm not trying to cause any kind of heated debate so I really hope it doesn't go there. Here we go.

I have seen people on the boards mention that they have a son and daughter who are teenagers and so when they go to Disney the mom will sleep with the daughter and the father will sleep in bed with the son. While that's fine and all I guess I just don't see what the big deal would be if the parents wanted to sleep in the same bed together and the kids sleep together in the same bed. Maybe it's because I grew up just me and my sister and didn't have a brother, but I just don't think it would be an issue. My husband on the other hand does. He says there is a certain age when kids of the opposite sex shouldn't be sleeping in the same bed together.

I guess I sort of understand this concept but to me, on vacation, for just one week.. what's the big deal?

Anyway.. I was just curious about view points on this topic. Am I crazy and wrong? We have one son right now (a baby) and are thinking of having a second child soon.. so if we have a daughter do I need to realize that on future vacations I'll be sleeping with my daughter all the time? Like I said, maybe I'm just naive because I never grew up with a brother.

Thanks!

When we go on vacation with our kids (DD15, DS8) most of the time DS will sleep with DH and I will sleep with DD, mostly because DS and DD do not want to sleep in the bed together. It has nothing to do with my feelings about it, but theirs. When they were littler they didn't care, but at some point they both started to think it was 'weird' (their words, not mine) to sleep in the bed together...it happened around the time my DD started developing.

Honestly, though, a lot of the time DH and I still get to sleep in the bed together, because we often stay in a room that has a pull out sofa and one of the kids sleeps there. And sometimes DS prefers to sleep on the floor (I always bring some blankets from home and he likes to sleep on the floor at home anyway, so whatever).

 

[bumbershoot]

I'm the oldest of 5, one of the two girls.

At a certain point, being in close contact with your opposite sex sibling is just icky. You don't WANT to be that close to them. It's not that there is worry about weird things happening, or anything like that...it's just gross.


Of course, most of my friends who had only sisters wouldn't have wanted to share sleeping space with them, either! Found like cats and dogs...way worse than me and my brothers ever fought. (my sister is WAY too young for these things to have ever been an issue with us though)

 

[JustineMarie]

Growing up, me and my brother slept in the same bed all the time for vacation. He is 5 yrs older than me and it was no big deal. My parents didn't care and neither did we.

I say do what works for you. If you are ok with it and your kids are ok with it than that's all that matters.

Edited to add: I have 2 dd's so this isn't an issue often but my dd10 and my nephew who is also 10 sleep together on our pullout couch when he sleeps over too. I never really thought it was wrong.

 

[luvmy3]

I don't see an issue with it, but I can tell you that my 13 year old dd would not want to share a bed with either of her brothers. Luckily we have 2 boys so they share, and she gets a cot

 

[crisi]

Mine are 12 and 13 and one will sleep on the floor rather than touch the other.

I don't care if they share a bed, they do.

We are DVCers, so we get a two bedroom - they share a room but each get their own bed. When we travel we try and go for an Embassy Suites - they don't pull out the sofa bed and camp on the floor.

 

[kate_wdw]

Hmm...given that teenage boys experience certain physiological events that are beyond their control, I think that could be an uncomfortable experience for either party. So, I vote for separate beds.

 

[englishteacha]

I think them sleeping ON the same bed would probably be OK, if they were in sleeping bags, for instance. But under the covers, I think both would be uncomfortable.

 

[Colleen27]

I don't think there's anything wrong with opposite sex siblings sharing a bed but I wouldn't force it either. DS14 would rather sleep on the floor than share a bed with his sister so we make sure to take his preference into account when it comes to sleeping arrangements, by booking a suite to have 3 separate sleeping surfaces or requesting a rollaway or bringing along our air mattress.

 

[bumbershoot]

Edited to add: I have 2 dd's so this isn't an issue often but my dd10 and my nephew who is also 10 sleep together on our pullout couch when he sleeps over too. I never really thought it was wrong.

Just a thought...my maddest, earliest, hugest crush was on a first cousin (who was nearly 10 years older than me). I mean...dreams of kissing, marrying, the whole thing. Doubt that would have lasted to adulthood (no way to know, as he was killed in Israel when I was only around 13), but, yeah...first cousin feelings CAN happen even though many countries don't allow them to marry etc etc.

 

[Mama Who]

In general I would shy away from opposite sex siblings sharing a bed but we're talking about a hotel room with adults a couple feet away. I'm less concerned about inappropriate behavior coming up under those circumstances than sibling sharing a bed in a room with a door on a daily basis.

I think I'd go with what the kids were comfortable with.

 

[princessmom29]

I personally would not have an issue with it if the kids were fine with it. If if they didn't want to sleep in the same bed, I wouldn't force them, regardless of gender,

 

[MSSANDRA]

I think most kids would object by 9 or 10 and that is the time to stop. Not really concerned at all about inappropriate behavior, just uncomfortable situation for them, Heck, boys don't even want to share a bed with other boys, related or not. Most guys over about 12 would sleep on the floor rather than share a bed!

 

[RMulieri]

I grew up in a family of 5 (2 brothers and me) and we never slept separately on trips..heck we were forced to share a bedroom till I was 15,since we lived in a 4 room apartment.My parents scrimped ,saved and would go without alot of things( yes we were what you would consider "poor") to make our trips happen,even then they were not week long extravaganzas.We did Disney trips that were 3 days only..So to complain about such things would have been a slap in the face to them.Nothing ever happened, nor was it even a remote possibility.It never bothered us nor did we feel icky about it.Most of the time I slept on the floor in a sleeping bag since as we got older there was simply not enough room.

 

[deuceswild10]

I don't think a brother and sister sharing a bed for vacation is a big deal.