Opinions on turning our wedding into a Fairytale Elopement....

[FutureAshleyDukes]

This week has been crazy as far as the in-laws to be are concerned.

I have really had it to the point where I have just been frazzled everynight due to how they treat me and my family. I really don't want to have my wedding day ruined by being ignored by his family, and them doing the same to my side of the family.

DH2B said it would be alright if we just had our ceremony with the two of us, and snuck my mom in (we wouldn't let his family know).

Would this be selfish? They didn't even acknowledge me during Christmas (not a single card or a phone call), and when I traveled to Nashville after having been gone for a few months none of them even made an effort to say hello.

 

[sajetto]

I don't think and elopement would hurt at all. It sounds like they probably wouldn't want to go anyway. Just go with your mom and have fun!

 

[FutureAshleyDukes]

I don't think and elopement would hurt at all. It sounds like they probably wouldn't want to go anyway. Just go with your mom and have fun!

That's kind of a problem, they want to go. But I don't think they have the best of intentions in going.

 

[Tinkerbelle14]

Hey Ash, I'm so sorry that you two are still going through all of this with your in-laws (to-be). I have a feeling that if they were at the wedding, you would just be distracted by them instead of being focused on each other. If it is fine with your fiance, I think you two should just go by yourselves (as far as they know) and get married with your mom there. Just make sure that you won't regret it down the road and that it is what you really want. And you already know that you can PM me anytime!

 

[sajetto]

Here's the question you need to ask yourself "Do I want to invite someone to what is supposed to be the happiest day of my life, that I can only do one time, if I think they are coming with the intention of ruining that day?" If it were me, I would politely tell the family that we have rethought our wedding plans and have decided to elope, however we are not sure where the nuptials will take place.

 

[FutureAshleyDukes]

Here's the question you need to ask yourself "Do I want to invite someone to what is supposed to be the happiest day of my life, that I can only do one time, if I think they are coming with the intention of ruining that day?" If it were me, I would politely tell the family that we have rethought our wedding plans and have decided to elope, however we are not sure where the nuptials will take place.

That's not a bad idea, we'll probably just nicely let them know our plans and go from there.

 

[allisonswonderland]

That stinks- I do not know about all of your in law issues but I have been having them as well and wish that we would have just eloped....tell them your mom found the itenerary and just showed up! Be sneaky

 

[sajetto]

I think for the sake of your sanity it would be the best idea. What sort of a happy day would you have if you are constantly looking over your shoulder or wondering what they are going to do or say next? With that kind of monkey on your back I don't see how you could relax and soak up the joy of the day.

 

[FutureAshleyDukes]

That stinks- I do not know about all of your in law issues but I have been having them as well and wish that we would have just eloped....tell them your mom found the itenerary and just showed up! Be sneaky

I love that idea!

Thank goodness his family doesn't have internet.

When they do, my posts will be edited.

 

[groomtb]

I wish my MIL didn't come

if you're not getting along with the mil now, chances are it won't get any better even if you followed "their" wedding plans.

I say elope with your DH2B and your mom (and anyone that really really cares about YOUR wedding). Then join the millions of happily married couple with a disfunctional MIL Just don't let it get between you and your DH2B in the future.

 

[allisonswonderland]

I am glad that my evilness can be used for something good....then again this is disney .... my dad's wife is annoying and my aunt and I were laughing because she had a dream that this woman got drunk at the wedding and tried to sing us a song in front of everyone. My aunt said if that happens she would take care of it by taking the microphone away from her , but she had a question," then what would I do, sing? I told her to smile and say<" well we are at Disney World a fairy tale is just not right with out the wicked step mother and then turn and say,"Guards sieze her." Ok yes I am insane, but this wedding planning has driven me to it....

 

[princessblueeyzes]

I know how you feel exactly- and I wouldn't think it would hurt for it to be just DF, you and your mom there if you know that's what it'll take to keep your sanity. If his family can't be nice and do nice things and all they want to do is ruin your day then don't let it happen. Maybe have a talk with them about it before you decide on whether or not to include them. This is what I am going to do to my DF's family. Go over and lay down some ground rules so we are all in agreeance and if they can't agree on the rules then they need not to come.

really, who wants a person to spoil their wedding? I don't know of anyone and i am sure they didn't have those problems when they got married- everyone knows what the proper etiquette is, and maybe they need a little reminder from your DF.

 

[DIsNeYSweEtHrTs]

I don't know about everyone else, but I feel very strongly about the fact that your wedding day is about the two of you...everyone else has their own chance for their own day. You have to do what will make you two happy. As long as you both agree, then it's the best choice. This wedding is all about you and your fiance. Your family should be happy for you, no matter where, when, and how you get married. But, then again, that's just my opinion.

 

[princessblueeyzes]

I don't know about everyone else, but I feel very strongly about the fact that your wedding day is about the two of you...everyone else has their own chance for their own day. You have to do what will make you two happy. As long as you both agree, then it's the best choice. This wedding is all about you and your fiance. Your family should be happy for you, no matter where, when, and how you get married. But, then again, that's just my opinion.

You couldn't have said it better Disneysweethrts. I would have to agree with you!

 

[Rustyflwr3]

Ashley,
I'm so sorry to hear about everything! But I have to agree, an elopement would be perfect and oh so romantic! You shouldn't have to put up with people who most of the time don't give you the light of day! Good Luck deciding what to do, but im with everyone else, it sounds like a great idea!

Jessica

 

[FutureAshleyDukes]

Thank you so much for your support ladies!

DH2B is set to have a talk with his family tonight, and we'll make our decision soon after. I'll let you know our plans.

 

[sajetto]

Definitely keep us posted. Good luck hun

 

[LouisianaDisneyFan]

I agree that your wedding day should be about you and your fiance, and you should make wedding plans that are best for the two of you. However, I strongly feel that you should not lie to his parents or family about it. Saying nothing before nuptials is much better than beginning the most important step of your life with a lie, such as "Oh, we don't know how my mom found out." or "Oh, we don't have any idea where our wedding will take place." Do you really want to begin with a lie? Do you want to later model for your children that lying to parents is okay, if you think the reason is good enough? You are adults and should do what's best for you, but telling the truth the entire time along the way goes much further to proving you are adults who are ready and willing to take this step without his family's approval, support or attendance. Good luck! ~Ev

 

[Ms.Mouse]

It's just sooo sad when people think they are so much better than others. People like that create problems in marriages and when children come along it increases. I had that problem with my husband's family treating mine badly. It caused bad times for years and they almost caused a divorce in my household. My advice to you is to go on ahead and elope... bring your mom and anyone else you want to bring who are an encouragement to you and your DH2B. I believe that for awhile, it is going to cause bad feelings between his family and you and yours BUT your DH2B is the one who has to stand up and let them know that their treatment won't be tolerated by him AND believe me..... HE HAS TO STICK BY IT....OR ELSE

I send my best wishes to you and your H2B and to the mom-of-the-bride And wishing you're on FOREVER & EVER.....

 

[NJOYURLIFE]

It stinks that you have to deal with this kind of crap for your wedding. As long as your hubby to be agrees about excluding his family then I think you are doing the right thing. I also agree with the poster about not lying to his family. Whethor you lie or tell the truth they are still going to be ticked, so why give them the additional satisfaction of calling you guys liars. Hubby to be has to stick to his guns on this one.

Good Luck!