Operation Big Thunder: the Dole Whip Conspiracy COMPLETE

[glennbo123]

partially hydrogenated vegetable oil...polysorbate 60...yellow dye No. 5. Everything a growing boy needs.

Die Hard

 

[afwdwfan]

Getting ready to post the next chapter, so I'm sorry to say that no one found the lie in chapter 2. Which is a bit disconcerting--apparently you all think I'm evil enough to make poor Julie get up at 5:00 a.m., endure a 12+ hour car ride, and then cook a full roast beef dinner for us )with beef that's been sitting in a cooler?). Or maybe you think Julie is Wonder Woman?

First of all, yes, I think you could be that evil. Secondly, if she is the creator of the Key Lime Pie of Awesomeness then my assumption would be that she is indeed Wonder Woman when it comes to creating delicious things.

 

[GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes]

apparently you all think I'm evil enough to make poor Julie get up at 5:00 a.m., endure a 12+ hour car ride, and then cook a full roast beef dinner for us )with beef that's been sitting in a cooler?).

I wondered about that one, but y’all are famous form bringing food along to save on the expenses. I figured that is was already cooked and then tossed in the microwave. That’s what I get for thinking.

Or maybe you think Julie is Wonder Woman?

I’ve read a good bit of your writings thus far.
You seem to think that she’s Wonder Woman…
Why wouldn’t we believe you?

 

[marvali]

The lie is that Julie cooked a meal when you got to Pawley's Island.

That darn DIS with its rogue time stamp posting issues!!!

First of all, yes, I think you could be that evil. Secondly, if she is the creator of the Key Lime Pie of Awesomeness then my assumption would be that she is indeed Wonder Woman when it comes to creating delicious things.

Excellent point!!!

 

[glennbo123]

That darn DIS with its rogue time stamp posting issues!!!

Exactly! I know I posted that a good 5 or 10 minutes earlier than the timestamp shows.

 

[marvali]

Exactly! I know I posted that a good 5 or 10 minutes earlier than the timestamp shows.

I HATE when that happens!!! Sometimes it can even be HOURS!!!

 

[Captain_Oblivious]

I’m not going to do a strict chronological accounting of the week at Pawley’s Island, mostly because I don’t think I can make endless repetitions of “we went to the beach, swam, bodysurfed, played catch, read books, built sand castles, and wandered the shoreline” sound very interesting. So, given that Sunday, July 15 was our first full day at the beach, I’ll use this space as my chapter relating how we went to the beach, swam, bodysurfed, played catch, read books, built sand castles, and wandered the shoreline. Just assume that anytime we went to the beach, we did that stuff.

The home we rented was a place called Myrtle Lodge, and it was a beautiful spot. It wasn’t quite oceanfront, but there was an empty lot in front of it which allowed for ocean views.

The place had 5 bedrooms, a deck, and a screened-in porch with ample rocking chairs, perfect for morning coffee or evening beverages as we looked out to sea.

The view (zoomed):

It even had its own private walkway to the beach. And of course, the jacuzzi and HD flat-screen TV didn't hurt matters either.

I have to admit, when my friend first invited me to go to the Myrtle Beach area in the middle of July, I was a bit apprehensive. That’s when EVERYBODY goes to the beach. He is a SC native and goes down there every year for his vacation, and kept talking about how much he wanted to show off the area. We thought a week with friends would be a lot of fun, so of course we agreed, but inwardly I was cringing a bit thinking about the crowds we’d have to deal with.

Shows you what I know. Pawley’s Island consists mostly of second- and rental homes, many with private beach access. There is a public access portion, at the north end, but even this part didn’t seem overly crowded. The motto of the town is “Arrogantly Shabby”*. There are no high-rises, no glitzy neighborhoods or condos, no amusement parks or boardwalk…just simple beach homes and the ocean. If you want the other trappings, you can drive north to Myrtle Beach. Otherwise, you can sit and relax on a low-key island. And it’s only an island if you look at it from the water.

*as mottos go, that’s a winner. I might adopt that one to describe my general appearance.

So, now I understood why my friend wanted to show the place off. The weather was hot but the ocean breeze kept it from being oppressive, the water temperature was perfect, we had the beach almost completely to ourselves, and there was plenty of seaweed.

Wait, what?

Seaweed. It hadn’t been there the night before, but when we walked out in the morning, the beach was covered. It had all washed ashore from somewhere overnight (you can see it gathered along the water line in the picture above). We could see lots of clumps floating in the waves. My friends said they’d never seen anything like it before. It wasn’t that big of a deal, except when we were in the water and would feel something brush past our legs, giving us a half-second of pause before we realized it wasn’t something that was alive. Is it true that most people get attacked by sharks in three feet of water about ten feet from the beach?

We braved the ocean anyway. I was really proud of the kids. For years, I’d been begging them to come out into the ocean with me and could never get them to come out further than knee-deep. Finally, they got over their fears and discovered the joys of surfing the waves and boogie-boarding. 100% pure adrenaline! Sarah, Dave and I spent hours riding the waves over the course of the week.

Scotty stayed a little further back. He’s not as strong of a swimmer yet.

Later, he decided he wanted to get in on the boogie-boarding action, but he needed my help. So we developed a foolproof system together.

Scotty would climb on my back, and I would attempt to keep us from drowning.

We took a hike down to the north end of the island, where there is an inlet leading from the ocean to the marshes that separates Pawley’s Island from Litchfield Beach. As you can see, the beach was much more crowded in this area.

Some of you have heard me complain before about my job and the impossible things engineers get asked to do. It’s like they expect us to walk on water sometimes.

I’m an engineer, not a miracle worker!

Anyway, you can see by now that the beach was just perfect. Great place for a getaway, even in the middle of July. If sitting back, relaxing and doing nothing for a week is your ideal vacation, this is the place to be.

There was only one problem.

There wasn’t much shade. Also, despite my occupation as a state worker, I’m not good at sitting around and doing nothing, so I tend to spend a lot more time in the water than sitting on a chair under an umbrella. I re-applied sunscreen throughout the day, as did the kids. But towards the end of the day, as I rode my board in on a wave, I got up and my friend called out to me: “Dude, you look like a lobster!”

Uh oh. Sure enough, my skin matched my Phillies hat in color. We spared you the pictures of me without a shirt. You're welcome.

The kids didn’t do much better. Sarah’s back was bright red (except for 2 think white lines matching her shoulder straps). And Julie swore she’d never let the boys do the sunscreen on their own faces ever again.

I dunno. Scotty’s “raccoon” look is kinda cute, don’t you think?

Coming Up Next: the beach is great, but we’re already burned to a crisp. So what's plan B?

 

[glennbo123]

Is it true that most people get attacked by sharks in three feet of water about ten feet from the beach?

Jaws

 

[GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes]

100% pure adrenaline

Point Break

 

[glennbo123]

100% pure adrenaline!



I’m an engineer, not a miracle worker!

First, Point Break.

Second, Star Trek reference.

 

[glennbo123]

Also, despite my occupation as a state worker, I’m not good at sitting around and doing nothing, so I tend to spend a lot more time in the water than sitting on a chair under an umbrella.

Lie!

 

[Captain_Oblivious]

The lie is that Julie cooked a meal when you got to Pawley's Island.

Well, now we have a firm grasp of the obvious.

Die Hard

+1 And Glenn is on the board!

First of all, yes, I think you could be that evil.

Your confidence is overwhelming.

Secondly, if she is the creator of the Key Lime Pie of Awesomeness then my assumption would be that she is indeed Wonder Woman when it comes to creating delicious things.

Absolutely. It's more about when the desire to create delicious things comes into play.

I wondered about that one, but y’all are famous form bringing food along to save on the expenses. I figured that is was already cooked and then tossed in the microwave. That’s what I get for thinking.

Thinking just gets me into trouble.

I’ve read a good bit of your writings thus far.
You seem to think that she’s Wonder Woman…
Why wouldn’t we believe you?

She's Wonder Woman in every way except for one clear difference: no one can convince her to wear that outfit.

That darn DIS with its rogue time stamp posting issues!!!

Exactly! I know I posted that a good 5 or 10 minutes earlier than the timestamp shows.

I HATE when that happens!!! Sometimes it can even be HOURS!!!

I think I spotted the lies! Wait a minute...

 

[marvali]

Lie!

That's COLD!!!

And probably accurate..........

 

[glennbo123]

And it’s only an island if you look at it from the water.

Jaws

 

[Captain_Oblivious]

Lie!

That's COLD!!!

And probably accurate..........

Don't make me start subtracting points...

 

[glennbo123]

As for the lie, I'll guess that your accomodations didn't really have a jacuzzi?

 

[marvali]

Don't make me start subtracting points...

I HAVE no points!

Thought I would try for the WORST score in the contest. At least I would be best at being worst!!!

 

[FreezinRafiki]

I’m not going to do a strict chronological accounting of the week at Pawley’s Island, mostly because I don’t think I can make endless repetitions of “we went to the beach, swam, bodysurfed, played catch, read books, built sand castles, and wandered the shoreline” sound very interesting. So, given that Sunday, July 15 was our first full day at the beach, I’ll use this space as my chapter relating how we went to the beach, swam, bodysurfed, played catch, read books, built sand castles, and wandered the shoreline. Just assume that anytime we went to the beach, we did that stuff.

Well, no matter how much you do or don't describe it, it sounds awesome!

The home we rented was a place called Myrtle Lodge, and it was a beautiful spot. It wasn’t quite oceanfront, but there was an empty lot in front of it which allowed for ocean views.

Which means that I will get excited, book a week there for next summer, only to arrive and find a highrise was build on that lot this winter, vacated and foreclosed this spring and becomes a crack house by the time I get there. Thanks for the tip, Mark.

That’s when EVERYBODY goes to the beach.

Lie. Oh, wait, no that's true.

The motto of the town is “Arrogantly Shabby”*.

I was about to call BS, but I Googled it. They actually say that. Wow.

It wasn’t that big of a deal, except when we were in the water and would feel something brush past our legs, giving us a half-second of pause before we realized it wasn’t something that was alive.

There's the lie. There was no half-second pause. You felt the seaweed and screamed like a little girl. Sarah, being a little girl, would then look at you and roll her eyes.

Is it true that most people get attacked by sharks in three feet of water about ten feet from the beach?

No, most people get attacked by sharks knocking on their apartment doors pretending to be a candy-gram.

For years, I’d been begging them to come out into the ocean with me and could never get them to come out further than knee-deep. Finally, they got over their fears and discovered the joys of surfing the waves and boogie-boarding.

Hmmm...not sure about this one. Scotty maybe, but I don't think Dave or Sarah had a fear of the ocean before this vacation.

Scotty would climb on my back, and I would attempt to keep us from drowning.

Great pictures of the surfing!

It’s like they expect us to walk on water sometimes.

I’m an engineer, not a miracle worker!

Julie - great picture. We all know this was you on the shutter button.

Also, despite my occupation as a state worker, I’m not good at sitting around and doing nothing,

Should have brought a shovel to lean on.

Uh oh. Sure enough, my skin matched my Phillies hat in color.

1980's Mike Schmidt Maroon Phillies hat or current scarlet red?

I dunno. Scotty’s “raccoon” look is kinda cute, don’t you think?

As long as all I have to do is look at it and not have to actually deal with a sun burnt child, then yes, yes it is.

 

[glennbo123]

That looked like an awesome place to spend a week!

Such a cool picture.

I dunno. Scotty’s “raccoon” look is kinda cute, don’t you think?

Yes!

 

[Captain_Oblivious]

I HAVE no points!

Should I post this quote on any of the other TR's? It's a good one to cherry-pick.