Operation Big Thunder: the Dole Whip Conspiracy COMPLETE

[GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes]

And there is much rejoicing.

Monty Python and the Holy Grail

 

[marvali]

Princess Leia's head..........reference to the Star Wars bi-trilogy (now 4, 5 and 6)

Incredibles defeat Syndrome...........reference to the movie The Incredibles.

 

[MEK]

I know I saw that picture on facebook, but honestly, this update captures their excitement so perfectly. This was one update I didn't have to read before work, but I couldn't help it. I was getting butterflies in my stomach just reading it.

All I can say is, thank goodness for the myriad of distractions that kids have these days. You could have never pulled that fast one on me as a child. I loved maps and license plates and all the stuff. The abundance of Florida license plates alone would have given it away for me. Back in the day there was nothing to do but stare out the window.

So glad the mission was a success. That was the best update EVER!

 

[middlepat]

Mark, this was a well written piece of literature as you had me on the edge of my seat wondering if you were going to make it all the way to the gates.

Loved the suspense in the telling.

 

[CopperWife]

We are planning a surprise road trip for September 2013, so this TR was right up my alley. I am such a dweeb, so I can admit I was humming with anticipation as I read your last update. Can you hum with anticipation? Maybe it's vibrate? Who knows? Whatever. I was excited to see if you could pull off the surprise. Glad to hear you did

 

[declansdad]

Excellent reveal!

 

[scott2997]

Great job capturing their reaction! Amazing you were able to keep it a secret with all of the billboards on I-4!

 

[vassar36]

simply awesome!!!!!

 

[TarzansKat]

Mission from God - Blues Brothers

Loved this update. Talk about sweating it out, yikes! And the picture of the kids reaction is priceless. AWESOME.

 

[afwdwfan]

That was a well written, excellent update.

I really enjoyed seeing how the different clues slowly revealed themselves to the kids to a complete lack of response.

At least until poor Dave's DS battery died. It's a good thing Julie was quick enough with her responses to keep him from putting it all together.

 

[KatMark]

B E S T update ever. I was on the edge of my seating, keeping my fingers crossed that the big reveal went off (even though I did see the updates on FB ). Great story writing this time, my friend. You did awesome.

 

[jedijill]

Wow! that was a great surprise!

Jill in CO

 

[GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes]

One thing you should know about me: I am terrible at keeping secrets.

Something that you can no longer clam…
One less crutch in the defense arsenal there.

This is not helped by the fact that Julie is a world-class mind reader.

A trait shared by nearly all women, but almost no men
(and that irks the ladie's soles to no end).

By 7:00 a.m., everyone’s ready to go, the last bags are packed, goodbyes have been said, and the gas tank is full. We wave to our friends one last time and roll down the driveway.

We drive a total of 1 mile.

Good start there!
You really movin’ now

The Pawleys Island Bakery is emitting its siren call once again. If you’re going to be stuck in the van for 8 hours plus, you might as well start the trip with a gooey cinnamon roll as big as Princess Leia’s head.

That may be one of the laws of travel.
Do we need to start a list?

Originally, we had planned to pretend that vacation was over and we were heading home, but we goofed.

We?

Ok, fine. I goofed.

That’s better.

Sarah had asked how long our vacation would be, and we told her the truth: 2 weeks. Being ahead of her class in math skills, she quickly deduced that only one week had passed at the beach.

We tell them, “We’re going to make a couple of stops on the way back home.” This time, they notice we’re heading south.

+1 for noticing

Anyway, the new (to us) van came with a DVD player, but not the remote control for the unit. The sound is played on an FM radio frequency and can be changed to any of 5 stations--if you have the remote control. Since we don’t, we’re stuck with only one station that can play the movie audio, and when you get near large cities, we usually lose the sound in static.

We reach the Georgia border somewhere around 10:30 a.m. We make the announcement to the kids that they’ve completed the East Coast. And there is much rejoicing.

Dave says, “I knew it!” I tell them that it seemed silly to be so close to Georgia and not pick up a new state for them. Dave now thinks we’re headed for Atlanta. We say nothing.

The young’ns picked up a +1 for noticing that the traveling direction was south…
but now get -1 for not knowing that you had to travel west in order to get to Atlanta from SC.

You however get the +1 back just for keeping your trap shut.

Nice work.

Georgia is wonderful for driving--it widens out to 3 lanes in each direction as soon as you hit the state line. This allows drivers to really open it up for clear sailing--or so I’ve heard. Occasionally, other sights catch our eye as well. Or maybe we're just bored.

Just mind your Ps n Qs when you get around St. Marys

The Incredibles defeat Syndrome (spoiler warning)…

Well now ya’ plum went and spoilt the drama for me…

We continue on our way. It’s getting close to lunchtime. We decide to stop at a Chick-Fil-A in Kingsland, GA.

Well now you’ve actually “set foot” in Georgia.
Were y’all perchance going to stop some where more “cultural” then a purveyor of fast food on the way back home?

When we’d left for Pawleys a week earlier, I’d worn a Myrtle Beach t-shirt as a clue to our destination to see if the kids would pick up on it. They didn’t, and I had fun pointing it out later.

On this day, I’m wearing my Expedition Everest t-shirt. Julie is wearing Mickey earrings.

The kids don’t notice.

Bellies full and cows happy, we hit the road again.

“EAT MOR CHIKIN”

But I still worry about how to explain the “Welcome To Florida” sign we’re about to pass. But the kids extend a lifeline:

“Can we watch another movie?”

Sure! With lightning speed, Julie has them load up Phineas & Ferb and the 2nd Dimension. They enter a brand new reality. We enter Florida.

DVD = Kiddy Crack

“I see a stadium!” Uh oh. “Is that where the Falcons play?”

“No,” I answer.

“Is it the University of Georgia?” Dave asks.

“No,” I answer, cringing for the next guess. But it never comes. The kids drop the interrogation and go back to the movie.

I’m surprised he gave up.
The fates were smiling on ya’ there.
Or… was it pixies?

The kids have pulled out their Nintendo DS’s and are entranced by various Lego games as we pass through Daytona. We hit the exit for I-4 (big signs for Orlando). As we make the turn, we pass 3 GINORMOUS BILLBOARDS PROCLAIMING Star Tours at Disney’s Hollywood Studios, Soarin’ at Epcot, and the Wizarding World of Harry Potter at Universal’s Islands of Adventure. Julie and I exchange another look, and hold our breath. I may or may not have given the van some extra gas.

The kids don’t notice.

20 miles to go, and disaster strikes: Dave’s battery on his DS runs out. He shuts it off and watches the other 2 play their games. But every so often, he looks up and gets his bearings.

Note to self…
Ensure that all batteries for all KDDs (kiddy distraction devises) are fully charged when attempting to drive them some where that you don’t want them to know about.

And then, a sentence we didn’t want to hear:

“Hey Sarah, look! Harry Potter World!” Dave has spotted a billboard.


Sarah: “Stop bothering me, I’m trying to play this game.”

Saved by normal sibling interaction.
It’s like judo, you're using their own “strengths” against them.

The only sounds from the back seat are the Lego games, only slightly less repetitive than It’s A Small World.

Only slightly…

We keep driving. Now, we’re getting regular updates as Dave sees more and more billboards. “Hey, look! Epcot!” “Hey, look! Donald Duck!” “Hey, look! Mission: Space!”

Finally, the question comes: “Why are there so many Disney billboards?”

I speak up first. “It’s a really major highway. So they want to do a lot of advertising here.” But it’s Julie that comes up with the brilliant clincher:

“It’s a lot like South of the Border. Remember all those billboards they had for miles? They’re just trying to attract people to go.” That seems to satisfy him.

Absolutely brilliant!
You married well sir.

Scotty and Sarah keep playing their games. I bite my tongue and Julie swallows. We’re under 10 miles to go. Almost to the gates. Wouldn’t it be great if we could just...

I see brake lights activating on all of the cars in front of me.

Aaaaaaarrrrrrrrrggggggg!!!!!!!!!!

Now there’s a new complication. Someone up ahead tried to change lanes (because changing lanes always helps in a traffic jam, right?) and stalled in the middle of both lanes.

Don’t’ get me started…

After a 20-minute delay, we’re moving again.

The Pixies are most certainly looking out after y’all this day.

Dave, fully alert now, reads the first one: “Epcot. Downtown Disney.”

That’s all he says. We fly past, and we hear an audible sigh from the back seat.

“Awww...We’re not going to Epcot.”

REALLY! That close and still no cognition…
WOW…

God bless him. He’s got all of the pieces to the puzzle bouncing around in his brain, but hasn’t quite matched up the jigs and the saws.

The proper South’rn for that would be: “Bless his heart….”

“Kids, turn the games off. I have something to tell you,” I say. They listen to their father, obey, and turn their--

Wait a minute, let me soak this one in for a second.

They LISTEN TO THEIR FATHER, OBEY, AND TURN THEIR GAMES OFF. I’m not sure this has ever happened so quickly before. In fact, it happened too quickly. It’s a bit farther to the Disney gates than I realized, and they’re not in sight yet. So I have to stall.

Now they chose to pay you mind

Darth announces that I have to keep right. I use that to stall a bit. “Hang on, Darth Vader keeps talking to me,” I say.

The Force is strong with this one.

Finally, we are on the homestretch. Sarah wants to know what was so important that she couldn’t play her DS.

I tell them we’ve actually been in Florida for about 3 hours. And we’re really close to our final destination.

“Are we going to Disney World?” Sarah asks. I pause. Still can’t see the gates. How long is this @#$% entrance road, anyway?

“I don't think I can take that kind of pressure!”

They suddenly yell that they see a sign for Disney World. It’s not the official gate, so I play dumb. I ask if they can confirm that. Finally, we see the glorious site of the welcome gate.

“It says...Disney World,” Dave says.

“What was that?” Julie asks.

“IT SAYS DISNEY WORLD!” Sarah shouts.

Ya’ Done Good.



Real good.

 

[FreezinRafiki]

Once I told her simply to keep a date open, and she proceeded to guess the exact restaurant and show we’d be going to. I don’t know how she does it.

Yes, but to be fair, "Waffle House" and "Star Wars: The Musical" were pretty easy guesses.

We drive a total of 1 mile.

You could have ran this time.

If you’re going to be stuck in the van for 8 hours plus, you might as well start the trip with a gooey cinnamon roll as big as Princess Leia’s head.

Or a dozen deviled eggs and crock of baked beans. Especially if you're in the driver's seat and can press that little "window lock" button.

We tell them, “We’re going to make a couple of stops on the way back home.” This time, they notice we’re heading south.

At least they have their geography down!

Darth Vader says this is the fastest way, and we have learned to trust our ol’ buddy Darth.

I bet with your new van and Darth's directions, you can make the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs.

We’re on a mission from God. Ok, maybe that’s over-the-top.

More importantly, you're on a mission from the Mouse.

The Incredibles defeat Syndrome (spoiler warning)

Umm...I think you're supposed to put the spoiler warning before the spoiler. Bruce Willis taught me that in the Sixth Sense when he was dead all along. (Spoiler Warning)

DisneyFed does not answer his phone. I guess it’s possible he has already taken steps to block my number. I leave a message for him.

Did you call the right number? You need to call the red phone on his desk.

On this day, I’m wearing my Expedition Everest t-shirt. Julie is wearing Mickey earrings.

The kids don’t notice.

At what point does your mood change from "whoo-hoo! We're really keeping this secret good!" to "holy crap, these kids don't notice anything, do they?"

Sure! With lightning speed, Julie has them load up Phineas & Ferb and the 2nd Dimension. They enter a brand new reality.

Dude, it's Phineas and Ferb: Across the 2nd Dimension. Don't make me take away your honorary O.W.C.A. membership card.

We keep driving. Now we’re passing the St. Augustine area. David and I have been here before--we went to the Players Championship golf tournament in 2011 near Jacksonville and stayed in St. Augustine. As we drive, we pass a huge billboard showing the iconic island-green 17th hole at that golf course. Dave, watching the movie, doesn’t see it.

Note to self: If you ever kidnap Mark's kids, save money by not buying a gunny sack to throw over their heads. Just put a movie on.

Julie and I are practically bouncing off the walls now.

Please keep your seatbelt fastened throughout out journey. Keep heads, arms and legs inside the vehicle. And please do not bounce off the walls. It interferes with the guidance system.

I may or may not have given the van some extra gas.

NOS?

Sarah: “Stop bothering me, I’m trying to play this game.”

Saved by the "pesky little brother defense" Nice move.

“It’s a lot like South of the Border. Remember all those billboards they had for miles? They’re just trying to attract people to go.”

I was about to commend Julie for stepping in to save the day, but comparing Disney to South of the Boarder? Heresy!

Dave, fully alert now, reads the first one: “Epcot. Downtown Disney.”

That’s all he says. We fly past, and we hear an audible sigh from the back seat.

“Awww...We’re not going to Epcot.”

God bless him. He’s got all of the pieces to the puzzle bouncing around in his brain, but hasn’t quite matched up the jigs and the saws.

Maybe there's a highway sign in Delaware that reads "Epcot. Downtown Disney" and he's just so used to seeing it and not taking it. I got nuthin.

Wait a minute, let me soak this one in for a second.

They LISTEN TO THEIR FATHER, OBEY, AND TURN THEIR GAMES OFF. I’m not sure this has ever happened so quickly before.

Coming Up Next: Hey, where are we staying, anyway?

Yes, please tell us! I can't stand the suspense!

If you'd like to watch the video of the kids' reaction (be warned, there is a little dead space in there), I've posted it here: http://youtu.be/_siXC720bSw

My favorite part is where Sarah discovers that she's been duped, puts her had on her hip and contemplates jumping into the front seat to pummel you with a tire iron.


Excellent work on this entry, Mark. I was riveted - and I knew the outcome!

 

[eandesmom]

GREAT reveal!!! I love it.

Clueless kids lulled into oblivion by electronics. Sometimes those babysitters are actually helpful!

Wonderful picture.

Really great "south of the border" response Julie!!!

 

[vamassey1]

Wow! I loved the reveal! Very well written and played out. I don't think you'll get away with it again. I'm sure they will question you're every move now.

 

[FauntleroyFAN07]

great chapter really enjoyed it, thanks for sharing it with us.

i bet it felt great to finally be able to tell them all about it.

 

[Chellymouse]

some reveal! Amazing the kids didn't figure it out sooner! Can't wait for the next installment!

 

[Mrs. Knowitall]

At what point does your mood change from "whoo-hoo! We're really keeping this secret good!" to "holy crap, these kids don't notice anything, do they?"

We were totally thinking the same thing! Alternating between (we pulled it off!) and (really?!)

Note to self: If you ever kidnap Mark's kids, save money by not buying a gunny sack to throw over their heads. Just put a movie on.

Truth.

I was riveted - and I knew the outcome!

I was riveted - AND I WAS THERE!!!!

 

[Poolrat]

It’s time.

Lion King- Or FOLK It really is IT. IS. TIME. but hey


Loved, Loved, Loved the reveal. All the way to the arch and then you HAD to have them pay attention. How much fun is that?