Open mouth, insert foot

[OceanAnnie]

Well, I think that stunt rates some additional Christmas surprises.

That was not nice and I'd be miffed big time at both of them. I'd let it go after awhile. But geesh!

 

[sunnyday123]

After reading what they did, I vote for the throttling in the sleep. My EX-HUSBAND ( notice anything?) had a penchant for doing things like this, because he was so blindingly perfect and no one could come close to his perfection. He told me I had too much makeup on, not enough, my clothes were innappropriate, etc. The only thing that stopped him was a taste of his own medicine.

We had leased a suv, and had to turn it back in. My DD was 4 so it was messy with kid stuff. I refused to clean it out because he had used the $$ we were going to buy it with on something stupid, so he had to clean it. He came stomping into the house and said, "I'm outside in the cold cleaning your car while you sit on your fat blank!" I replied-very calmly I might add-"My blank may be fat, but I can lose weight, you can't grow more hair!"

The look on his face was priceless and to this day I wish I'd had a camera.

 

[Ponygirl]

No reason to suffer alone. Wake him up with a big juicy kiss and pass along those nasty germs. He'll be sick in time for Christmas and will, in turn, pass it on to mommy dearest.

Cold germs.....the gift that keeps on giving!

 

[simonsmom]

Hey, why not be subtle about it and just tweak out any visible hairs he has whilst he's asleep? You know, back hair, neck hair, even the stuff on his head. Tweak, and he wakens. Wait until he's fast asleep again, tweak again. Means you have to stay awake for a while but think of the fun!!!

 

[MIGrandma]

Oh, I've said things I wished I could take back. I think we all have been in that position.

The one time I remember someone saying something like that to me, was when I was waitressing I waited on an elderly woman from the church I used to attend. Her first words to me were "wow, you've gained weight!" I had no comment for that. It hurt my feelings but there was nothing I could do so of course I just let it slide.

I actually received a note from her in the mail a couple days later, apologizing for what she said to me. I thought that was very sweet of her.

 

[Jennasis]

Morning...still sick...hubby still happily oblivious. The miffed-ness ebbing now. I tweezed the bejeezes out of my face last night for good measure. No worries. His uppance will come.

On to the FIMD (foot-in-mouth-disease)...

A few years ago, ex-MIL (from my first marriage) saw my sister eating something at a family gathering. She said to her very loudly "If you ever want to be a dancer, you can't gain any more weight.." Two things, A) my sister was an accomplished dancer and had aspirations to professional dancing and B) she was battling anorexia and bulemia at the time. She had just ben discharged from the hospital after a summer long forced admission toi their eating disorder clinic.

 

[Briarmom]

Sounds like your dh is going to book you some VERY EXPENSIVE laser hair removal for a Christmas present and wrap the gift card and put it under the tree. Maybe he'll even put some diamond jewelry in the box so it makes a weird noise when you shake it.

 

[agnes!]

Not nearly on the same level Jennasis, but over Thanksgiving a relative (and not even anyone related directly to me but rather an in-law's mother) made some comments about how strong I had made the coffee after-dinner one night. It's not really a big thing, but it did bother me. it didn't help that she did kind of go on and on about it too...

Make your own bleepin' coffee next time sweetheart.

agnes!

 

[kristilew]

I'm always putting my foot in my mouth. Last week I was talking to best friend's dear son, who was telling me how excited he was about an upcomg basketball game. "Wait," I say, "isn't that at the same time you'll be on your ski trip?" This being the huge ski trip that she is surprising the kids with as their only Christmas present. I can't believe she forgave me. I think she managed to convince her son I'm an idiot as well, so maybe saved the surprise. But boy, do I owe her!

On the hubby note: whenever DH does the clueless male thing and says something that he has no idea is wrong, I tell him: " the appropriate response here is _________" For example, in your case, as soon as your DH started in about the hair: "The appropriate response here is She always looks beautiful to me!" I've done this enough over the years that you can actually see DH pause and search the mental rolodex for the "appropriate response" if he thinks he's on the least bit shaky ground.

 

[robinb]

They were two separate incidents, right? The "fatties" comment at one dinner and the "personal grooming" at another. I know you're sick and a bit cranky (at least I am when I'm sick!) but the "fatties" comment wouldn't have bothered me all that much and I am overweight. I would have told my DH to move his fat butt next to his mom because there was plenty of room and left on her side of the table it at that. The personal grooming at the table? Well, that was over the top. You need to talk to him about how that made you feel or he will remain Captain Oblivious and you will stew in your annoyance.

 

[Mickeypooh99]

That is really bad!

Once when I was 3 months pg for my first baby we were announcing it to the family at a large family gathering. My MIL came over and hugged me and said very loudly "I thought it looked like you had gained weight!" I was so upset. I had actually lost a few pounds due to morning sickness, but I guess I looked fat! DH didn't say anything, but SIL said something to my defense.

I can't even count the number of times my FIL has something offensive to me. He is a nice person really. He just doesn't have a clue!

 

[Jennasis]

They were two separate incidents, right? The "fatties" comment at one dinner and the "personal grooming" at another. I know you're sick and a bit cranky (at least I am when I'm sick!) but the "fatties" comment wouldn't have bothered me all that much and I am overweight. I would have told my DH to move his fat butt next to his mom because there was plenty of room and left on her side of the table it at that. The personal grooming at the table? Well, that was over the top. You need to talk to him about how that made you feel or he will remain Captain Oblivious and you will stew in your annoyance.

Mmmmmmm...stew...

 

[my3sonsagn]

I vote for waiting until he's asleep tonight then tweezing a nose hair - those things must be directly connected to the brain due to the pain/twitching/eye watering plucking them causes. lol

I have to admit that my poor hubby would definitely sympathize with you; I have a "thing" about stray hairs - they drive me batty. He'll be sitting there blissfully unaware that a random eyebrow, arm hair, back hair, nose hair, etc is about to get him attacked with a pair of tweezers, and I carry them in my pocket, so I'm always "armed."

 

[MiniGirl]

I think many people just don't think. I know I've said things I wish I could take back, and I know others have said things they later felt bad about.

The most common example is people talking about how frustrating their children are or how uncomfortably pregnant they are in front of a woman struggling with infertility. As the one who struggled w/infertility, it was awful. I knew they meant no harm though, but it really didn't make it easier to take. One woman I was flying with complained about her son so much I finally told her that I'd love to have him. How long did she think it would take her to pack his things and transfer custody to me so I could have him.

 

[robinb]

Mmmmmmm...stew...

I was trying to come up with a better way to say it !

 

[ginna74]

So I am awake at midnight for a variety of reasons. Chief among them is a bonehead my MIL and DH made to me at lunch today. I'm sure they thought they were being funny, but all I got was embarrassed and hurt. So, have you ever said something and immediately wished you could take it back. Those face-palm moments where your mouth moves faster than your brain? Conversely, have you ever been on the receiving end of such an "open-mouth-insert-foot" comment?

Do share. It'll distract me from throttling the man in his sleep.

been on the giving end too... many times my son watched something on blues clues and it has stuck with me) "stop, take a deep breath, and THINK" is what he would say all day long. I do still flub up and OPEN MY MOUTH, but all is good and usually it is some kind of learning experience.

 

[BadRomance]

At work the other day my coworker was facebook stalking and we were just looking up common people we both know. Well we get to this one girl who is our mutual friend and she says something like this "She is super nice but she needs to get her life together... She is way too old to still be working on her bachelors degree."

Unfortunately, said girl and I graduated high school together and I am still working on my bachelors degree as well. Immediately when she said that she started back tracking which made it more awkward.

 

[love2disney]

Is throttling ur MIL an option?

 

[oldbay]

I got one:
Years ago we were at the mall watching my oldest toddle around and his grandpa was sitting next to someone on one of the mall benches. Grandpa had a big smile watching my son go and turned to the lady and said, "isn't it great to be able to walk?" Here's the kicker - the lady was in a wheelchair. We still tease grandpa, he meant no harm and the lady took it well. We still could not help but shake our heads.

 

[Jennasis]

Is throttling ur MIL an option?

ALWAYS.

A few Christmases ago she was shopping in TJ Maxx with Dh and I. Well a little old lady was pushing her cart through the store with her grown daughter and for whatever reason, MIL struck up a conversation with the lady...probably over some do-dad she was admiring. That's the beauty of the south...you can talk to a perfect stranger without looking like a crazy person.

Anyhoo...MIL looks at the little old lady who is fumbling with a coat and then starts to admonish her for trying to steal the coat! I couldn't figure out WTH MIL was going on about until I realized that there was a cord coming out of the bottom of the jacket. MIL started kept going on about how she needed to get a sales associate to undo the coat so she could try it on....well, here's where MIL's logic falls apart:
1. It was the lady's OWN coat...not one from the rack, but most importantly:
2. There was no security cord fastening it to a rack...that was the hose for the lady's mobile oxygen unit!

DH practically shoved his mom out of the store apologizing profusely to the shocked daughter and her confused mom. To this day we still give MIL grief over her berating the lady with emphysema.