Before I start, this is no rant. It's just open statements that talk about how to prevent scamming, have fun in the game in a safe manner, and how to better the future community of VMK. It's just that sometimes I may seem a little over my head.

That's probably why this post is super long, LOL.
First off - having that is a bit over the top. You honestly don't know both sides of that story well enough since virtual presence of his VMK avatar being somewhere or doing something is no proof of anything at all (You really never know who is behind a VMK character at any time). I am not on anyone's side, but I for sure am not going to conclusions of anything yet.
----
Thoughts about Chat:
I agree with you mostly in that letter except for the chat thing.
The VMK moderation system will not ban you for not participating in a conversation.
WRONG! However, if the conversation involved you making even 1 comment in it that related to the topic, there is a chance of a warning. Aside from that a message is sent out to the whole room so it makes the player that said whatever feel bad. (It's a bad way to embarrass people, but it works.)
I think that you are going a little bit over the top on the talking topic with your daughter. (not your kid, not your decision) Once your daughter finds the right friends to hang out with, talking will be no problem to worry about much.
It's only in the public rooms that things go wrong because of complete strangers doing strange things, so I'd suggest that talking in a guest room (obviously an appropiate room) is completely safe. (wrong again - read some of the experiences from others) But, yes, I do understand that you want to keep her as safe as possible in the game. I suggest letting her talk to other players, but watching her while she does it is the smartest move.
My thoughts about your ' limiting talking ' point of view:
There's about 4 things that limit talking in VMK (possibly more, but I cant think of them right now since I'm a little tired right now

):
(have you ever heard of guit by association?) 
1) Personal Info
2) Inappropiate Behavior
3) Reference to non-childlike things
4) Disney/VMK Account information
Aside from that, there's so many safe open things to talk about in VMK. It's not that dangerous if you know how to get around the bad players - which is one of the easiest things to do. Just make sure your friends list doesn't have any bad players in it.
--------
Thoughts about scamming:
Yes, scammers are horrible people, but face it: You can't get rid of them. There's scammers in every game that involves trading or gifting and there's never a way to stop it completely. However, you can limit them to almost nobody if you prevent the scammers from scamming. What exactly do I mean by that? Don't do anything stupid that calls for a scam.
Here's an example chat log of someone falling for a scam (fake, of course):
You would have to be an idiot to fall for that as an adult and this is why my child is not allowed to trade unless I am there.
Scammer: Hi, I'd like to trade your offer for my sparrow.
Innocent Person: Really?
Scammer: Yeah. But wait, please lock the room so nobody can come in.
Innocent Person: Why?
Scammer: Because I don't want anyone to see us trade
Innocent Person: Okay, I'll lock it
Scammer: So anyways, give me all the stuff now, and my friend will come in just a moment with my sparrow costume. He's borrowing it right now
Innocent Person: Why can't we just trade both the items at once like a regular trade?
Scammer: Because I don't want to make him give me back the costume now. I told him he could use it for a little, and I just gave it to him.
Innocent Person: okay
(trade done - scammer runs off)
Right now it probably seems amazing that someone would do that. But sadly there are people like that. Anyways - way to know it was a scam:
1) He said to lock the room, then said his friend would come in later.
2) He didn't have the sparrow costume with him.
3) He claimed he didn't want anyone to see them trade.
Honestly, I don't blame the scammers. I dislike scammers for what they do (and sometimes wish I could just teach them a lesson the hard way), but most of the time the scam could have been predicted and stopped. I've been scammed myself, and since then I've learned to watch trades and proof them. In fact, it's healthy to be scammed at least once. It gives you a sense of how to watch your items carefully.
----
Wrapping up (yeah, I know you also want to be done reading this

) :
VMK is still going to remain a safe enviornment if everyone learns to watch out for scams. If all the players become aware of scams and are able to stop it, the scammers wouldn't scam because they know they'd be caught. So next time a person is going to trade, I suggest to do the following:
1) Make sure the item being traded for is shown in the trade ALONE if you're trading for a single item. If the person adds something cheap to it, it's usually a trick.
2) If you're trading for a 4 piece costume (or 2 or 3 for a matter of fact), divide the trade into 2 if needed. Trade a fraction of the offer for 1 part, and another fraction for another part.
3) If you are trading with 6 items up, check the confirmation window for at least 30 seconds. If you're trading for more than 6 items, check all the confirmation for about a minute.
4) No unreasonable detours in trade
-------------
Just my thoughts about scamming... Please feel free to disagree with anything I wrote.
I think this is also the longest post I've ever done
~Ren