Online dating sites? yay or nay

[Am_I_There_Yet]

Wow. I too met my husband on match.com. I'm not into the bar scene and being self-employed didn't give me much of a chance to meet anyone.

I was only on there for two weeks before I met him, and we're celebrating our fifth anniversary in October. It was the best $25 I ever spent!

 

[Pugsley]

Me too! Met my husband on match.com just a couple of days after I joined. We’ve been married almost three years now. There are jerks on there just like anywhere else. But there are lot of great people too. Go for it!

 

[Am_I_There_Yet]

The way I look at it is, you get to meet someone on your terms. And you can take it as slow as you want.

I emailed back and forth with my husband for about a week (I still have the emails too. How many people can say that they have their first conversations down on paper?), and then we met at a Carrabbas for dinner.

As we were walking out to the car, on a whim I asked him if he'd be interested in going to a John Mayer concert the next night. He was, we did - and I swear, we fell in love that night. Something really strange happened.

Neither one of us said anything to the other, and then about two weeks later, I spit it out first and said I'd felt it since our second date. He told me that he'd been scared to say anything to me, but that he'd felt it too. That was on my birthday, and he almost drove off the road when I told him.

When you're new on there, you're going to get bombarded with emails. And like OP mentioned, there are going to be some creeps on there, just like IRL. You just have to use your common sense, like you would any other time.

 

[KiKi Mouse]

I met DH on Lavalife. I went on some dates and met some losers and met some decent people. Then DH came along and it was love at first sight.
I think dating sites are a great way to meet people.

 

[minkydog]

We have friends who met through e-harmony. They were both in their 40s; he was widowed with young children and she was divorced with slightly older teens. Neither of them had time to go out and find a new spouse. They found each other within a month and the funniest thing was, they lived about 2 miles apart. They've been married about 12 years now.

My brother met my SIL in a chat room. She is from Venezuela. Eventually, they met and began flying back and forth. After 6 years of dating, and many long periods of visitation they married.

 

[MickeySP]

I tried EHarmony and hated it. Like someone said too many hoops to jump through.

I had success with plenty of fish, it is free, as did 2 other friends. I am happily dating a man I met 2 years ago there. We actually talked for about 2 weeks before we met, he was so not my type but I figured why not meet. Well, who knew, after a quick meet turned into a 6 hour date we kinda knew. We have been together for 2 years. If I had listened to EHarmony we never would have been matched.


Another GF just got married to someone she met there. A third GF has been happily dating a man she met on POF for over a year.

My rules when meeting someone was a very public place, take your own car, and I always took a picture of there license plate and txt'd to a friend.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

My brother is with someone he met online, but he is close to 40.

My DH's cousin married someone he met from Match.com, about 5yrs ago. They are also in their 40's now and have an almost 2yo.

At 23, I would think that it would be harder because you are young and that age group may not be ready to settle down as a whole. But if you want to try it out, I say go with Match.com.

 

[Elmo9607]

So far I have had some good things and some bad things come out of them...you just have to be VERY VERY picky and choosy...and it helps to kind of be able to "read between the lines" sometimes.

Ever heard of "Why Women Hate Men"? It is a blog that is absolutley HYSTERICAL that is full of "personal ads gone wrong". It's NSFW at all though, so save it for home!

 

[Melmac]

I'm only 23 but I wanted to try and give one of them a try. My friends are sort of in the same boat & pretty much wanted to try them as well. We just haven't really met anyone we clicked with. I'm not in college anymore & I don't like the bar scene for meeting guys anymore, all I seem to meet are perverts (sorry to be blunt lol). I was checking some out online sites though, but I feel kind of awkward. I'm not even sure which one to opt for. A friend wanted to try e-harmony but they're so expensive! Has anyone had any postive experiences w/ online sites, or w/ any particular one? Thanks

Two of my friends met their husbands on dating sites (sorry, I don't remember which site but I believe it was the same one). So, they had really good experiences with it. Good luck!

 

[starrzone]

I say nay. Been there, done that, don't like them. But that doesn't mean you won't have sucess; go with your gut. Try one or two sites out; if you have a bad experience, take a break and try again. You really have nothing to lose! I just know I won't be going back to that route for various reasons, but at least I know I gave online dating a chance

 

[apirateslifeforme]

I signed up with eHarmony on July 28, 2008. I did NOT think it would work. But on August 12, I was matched up to someone who also had signed up around the same time. We had our first coffee date just before Thanksgiving, 2008...that Sunday morning date "just for coffee" lasted 4 1/2 hours.

To make a long story short...2 weeks ago today, he proposed. We're getting married next fall! Maybe we just got lucky, but he is my PERFECT match. My mother says we're two peas in a pod, my friends say we were made for each other, etc. He is the love of my life

 

[RayaniFoxmur]

Lots of zombie threads lately!

Here's the thing with dating sites. You have to be prepared to kiss a lot of toads. Not frogs, toads. There are quite a few people who are looking for just that one night hookup and you have to learn how to weed through it.

That being said, I did meet my husband on a dating site, though it was a more specialized one. I did not have any success on match.com or yahoo personals and the one guy who I met off of eHarmony wanted me to meet him at Chuckie Cheese cause they had a DDR machine! Yeah right!

Your mileage may of course, vary, however I say definitely give some of the free trials a try

 

[Cheshire Figment]

try www.disdates.com which (a) is free, and (b) the members are into Disney.

 

[rodeo65]

We had our first coffee date just before Thanksgiving, 2008...that Sunday morning date "just for coffee" lasted 4 1/2 hours.

A long time ago in the dark ages; before online dating DH and I met through telephone personals. Same concept, no photos.

We had both been at it for months and had met and dated many others each. We were both ready for a relationship. We also met for coffee that lasted through the afternoon and then over dinner. The next day his ad was off the line and I figured he either really liked me or wanted me to never be able to find him again. He liked me.

I guess it likely doesn't pertain to the OP anymore but my rules were; always meet in public, coffe or lunch only for a first date, I'd always left a message with a friend where I was and who I was meeting with their mailbox #, and I'd always left that same info on a notebook by my phone.

 

[onelilspark]

When I moved here, I didn't know anyone, so I signed up for online dating sites to give myself some kind of social life. I'm super paranoid, so I didn't like the idea of going to a bar as a single female. I used OkCupid (free) and Yahoo personals (paid) on and off over the course of about 2 years. The thing I liked about online dating is that you really got to know the person first, then when you meet up (in a public place!) you can see if they really are who they say they are. I always took at least a couple weeks talking to someone before I would meet them in person. Any guy who couldn't wait I decided I wasn't going to bother with. You certainly get a fair share of creepers, but there is a good number of decent guys out there. What I found is that on free sites (like OkCupid) you found more people looking for a quick hook-up. But on paid sites (like Yahoo personals) you found more people looking for something serious.

In the end, I met my fiancé on OkCupid! So yeah, give it a try, keep your wits about you and you'll be just fine!!

ETA: Myself & my fiancé are both 25 currently. I was about 22/23 when I was into the online dating scene.

 

[fiveforall]

DH and I met through Yahoo Personals way back when it was free. We've been married 10 years! My mom tried Yahoo a year after DH and I married, and she's been married to my wonderful stepdad for almost eight years. It worked well for all of us!

 

[Jeanne B]

I always took at least a couple weeks talking to someone before I would meet them in person.

Interesting, I'm just the opposite...attraction and chemistry are so important and I find that you can think you have a lot in common with a person and then you meet and there's not an ounce of chemistry and the person doesn't always look as they do in their pictures so I'm a believer in not doing a lot of emailing/phone calls before meeting in person.

 

[Bell30012]

DisDates has disappeared

 

[jsmith]

Im not going to speak to the good or bad of online dating-been married for almost 28 years to someone i met when i was a high school junior-however i am going to issue a warning.... I moderate on a military spouses/girlfriends message board and am a military spouse. There is a very large epidemic of nigerians who sign up for these sites posing as US service members-develop "relationships" and then ask for money or other assistance for a variety of things. They are very good-the last one i dealt with had done extensive research on the soldier he was claiming to be-he was using the name, rank and photos of a real US soldier-and the girl he was "dating" was pretty convinced-it was until we were able to prove that the real soldier was 10 years younger than the poser claimed to be-and not in iraq at this time-that she finally accepted the truth even though he had asked her to act as his representive in claming an inheritance owed him by the United Nations. SO-just a couple of things to be aware of should you choose to start corresponding with a soldier you "meet" on one of these sites---the US military pays for soldiers to travel home for leave when they are deployed-there is no reason you should ever have to put out money or file a request for him to get leave. If you ask for a snail mail address to send goodies to and he tells you he cant give you one for "security" reasons-hes lieing. The military considers mail a moral issue and even special forces soldiers have a mailing address overseas. The US military provides both legal and financial
counseling support to deployed-and non deployed service members-no soldier will ever need a "representive" to collect money acutally due him or her.
Forwarned is forarmed-good luck with your search.

 

[hambirg]

I haven't read all the responses, but just wanted to add that what I have found is that the free sites are full of married men. Ugh! I don't know if that is more likely given my age. I'm 45. Maybe you won't find that to be true with the younger men. I haven't tried any of the pay sites. I want to take a break from all the frustrations I found on the places like POF.

My BFF met her current husband on eHarmony though. I think when I'm ready to jump back in I'll try a pay site. Another problem with the free sites is if they aren't married, they're broke.