If Snoopy were writing this trippie, instead of Mel happyhaunt, he would start with: "It was a dark and stormy night...".
Now.
If E. Bulwer-Lytton was writing this trippie, instead of Snoopy, he would start with: "It was a dark and stormy night" and continue on with "and the rain fell in torrents".
And, actually, you'd all be better off. If either Snoopy or a dead guy. Were writing this.
Word to the wise.
But... since you're here. Let's CHAT.
After I peeled out of the parking garage. Like Knight Rider.
Leaving four golfer dudes hoping that I was smart enough to have, at least, a valid license.
Tommy and I found ourselves on the Beeline. Headed straight for our Happiest Place on Earth.
Next to Tim Hortons.
Tommy and I like to go to Tim Hortons. He likes Strawberry Creams. And I like to live my life all cranked up on coffee.
I prefer Starbucks but will not pay that sort of money for a "treat" for Tommy. There. Or Calvin or Beth. All my children are treat-oriented. And my husband finds himself on a never-ending quest for the almighty dollar.
Because of it.
I think.
I know that he likes his job. He is a math and economics nerd. Who likes to spend his free time lying on the couch with his socks off watching Star Trek. Series. Over and over. He also parts his hair on the side and combs it down every morning with water so his cowlick stays down. The minute he turns around it pops back up. He also has a lil sumpin sumpin he does just for Me(l). It's a dance. Of sorts. That kills me DED. Whenever and wherever he does it. Sometimes he does it when I'm talking to someone. Behind their back. And is all stealth. About it. KILLS ME! He is such a HUGE freakin' nerd.
He is freakin' HOT! BTW.
Where was I?
Oh yeah... peeling out.
On the Beeline.
Making tolls and pushing the speed limit. Unlike Knight Rider... I could actually ACHIEVE maximum velocity.
Because that's what I do.
Plus... I was very very tired. And should NOT have been driving.
It was nearly 2:00am. I hadn't slept much the night before and I was sorta bagged. Slightly out of it.
I shoulda had Tommy drive.
In hindsight.
Tommy was WIDE awake. Now. Tho.
Bouncing up and down on his booster.
He knew where we were going. And he talked loudly the whole way.
Alternately excited and happy and complaining.
About stuff.
Mostly my driving.
And he was pretty thirsty.
We finally made it. Passing by the great unwashed aka the guests of the Maingate Hotels.
We drove through the GATES. Onsite.
Disney property.
Screaming, clapping and dodging other traffic.
Note to myself: The clapping was too much.
Within moments we were driving up to the front doors of the Boardwalk.
After, of course...
I had to produce my driver's license with photo to get through the security gate.
The security guard actually smirked when she saw my picture. It's REALLY BAD, TFI. Checked that my name was on the list for the BWVs. And said, "Welcome HOME"!
With a cheery, "BITE me!"... I drove off. To valet park.
There was no line.
It was a great time of day to either pick up or drop off your car.
Another lil tip for Disers out there.
2:00 am. Or around there. PERFECT.
Magical, even.
It also looks cool to be dragging your five year old around. At that time of night.
I believe the night cleaners shot me a few looks that I interpreted to be saying, "Rock ON! Single blonde Mom and little boy! Coming back from Pleasure Island. All liquored up!".
Hush.
Our plane was DELAYED!
We would have been here by MIDNIGHT! If it weren't for THAT!
Heh heh.
And I wasn't drunk.
In fact, I wasn't drunk the WHOLE TRIP!
Not once.
So... don't be expecting my typical "Mel happyhaunt's Drunken Binge Episode".
This time.
TFI.
We checked in. And I whipped my Trip Reporter's Disney Pen out. To make it official.
The pen is mightier than the sword. (Pronounced "s-WARD"... like my General does!)
And it's a darn good thing. Too.
Because I had lost my sword, earlier, that day. At the Buffalo Airport.
Because it was just a little TOO early to get up and have breakfast... I decided that we'd better go to bed.
Especially Tommy.
We found our room. I grabbed his pj's and tucked him right into bed.
I did not make him brush his teeth.
We were on VACATION. After all.
I kissed him goodnight and gave him a long hug.
He said, "I miss Daddy. And Beth and Calvin."
And then he asked: "Will you say goodnight to me from them?"
Ahhhhh.
I loved it. That sentiment and the look in his eyes when he said it.
So sweet.
I leaned down and said "Goodnight my big Bama-boy! I LOVE YOU! Goodnight all. Love ya all!"
That was from his Father.
Then I said, "Night, SWUFFTY! I wuvs ya, BABY!" With a big kiss on the cheek.
That was from Beth.
And, finally, "NIGHT! Icy DRINK!! The bed bugs are gonna GET YOU!" And I licked the side of his face.
When he started to scream... I licked his arm. For good measure.
That was from Calvin.
Cheers, Mel.
To be continued: We get three minutes of sleep and have to check OUT of the BWVs.
Also... I put three little phrases into the above. Hidden well. And coined by none other than E. Bulwer-Lytton himself. If you can tell me what they are... you'll win a lil lil sumpin.
Here's a hint. Look for the parts that don't seem to make any sense.
