One fine pickle I got myself into

[messymama]

I lost my job 3 years ago and a few months later was diagnosed with a serious illness. Then my DH had a heart attack. Then my oldest DD left her children on my doorstep. All that to say I didn't plan this.

I have myself in a financial mess. I don't have credit card debt but have extensive personal debt to family members that have helped out thinking I could sooner or later get a loan to pay it all back.

Now the whole economy is in the toilet and I am barely making ends meet and can't get the money to repay them. I have been given a deadline and I can't do it.

Now that I won't be able to repay in the time they want I am going to be blackballed from my family and that is going to break my heart.

I have sold everything worth selling and at this point am just keeping the roof over our heads and barely food on the table.

Life isn't always fair. I have considered everything and I mean everything. Nothing is going to get solved by robbing a bank or hurting myself. My DH and grandchildren still need someone.

I am only posting this to actually say it outloud to someone. The stress of keeping it bottled up is taking it's toll.

Thanks for letting me dump.

 

[mamalle]

please hang in there and remember tomorrow is another day.

 

[sallysue66]

& prayers. i'm glad your grandkids have you.

 

[semo233]

That sucks and my heart goes out to you. I will keep you in my prayers.

Now, what can you do? Contact social services and your church or synagogue, food pantries, social worker in your grandkids school, etc. Although you will still have the problem with your extended family, your immediate problem is taking care of your family and keeping that roof over your head. The programs that are set up are there for people in need. The squeaky wheel gets the grease.

If you are eventually able to pay your family back, they will then know that you were not in default of those loans due to mishandling the money and that your intentions are good. They did help you out, so keep them in your good thoughts and prayers. Any negative feelings will bring you down even further, so don't go there.

 

[Janet Hill]

Have you been to social services to apply for everything you might qualify for? Theoretically, you can also go after your daughter and the father of the children for child support. Have you checked out if you qualify you social security disablity?

You're right life isn't always fair, and given the mess IMHO your family should forgive the debt or at least ease up on the deadlines.

Hang in there.

 

[brekin67]

I think you should go to your DHS office and file for child support from DD. You could also ask for the kids to be placed with you under a kinship placement so you would receive money for their care. Have you applied at Voc Rehab to assist with job placement? (not sure what your serious illness was, but VR maybe can help)
Please consider going to a social service agency for counseling support, most are based on a sliding scale, and there are great places to go and talk out your feelings. You are not alone. Have you talked with your Social Security office to see if the kids are eligible for SSI? :Love and Prayers to you.

I hit enter then read Janet's post. We have the same thing in mind.

 

[thebeesknees]

I'm so sorry you are going through this. Your grandkids are so lucky to have you around. I hope things start looking up for you soon.

 

[A Mickeyfan]

something doesn't sound right here, call me an odd one from the rest of you, but no job in 3 years? This is their first post? We just had one prank on us today..taking the Mattress down to Disney.... and I am wondering if this is another...this is too much of a hard luck story.. something sounds strange... sorry for not seeing it the way the rest of you do.. but the no job in 3 years is not sounding right....who comes to a Disney board to vent like this??? think about this...at least not your first post! you don't google for something happy to vent this...something fishy here...


I wonder if someone from the tech dept could trace the IP address to see if it is the same as our mattress thread posters IP address.... hmmmm makes you wonder... I could be way off base, but maybe not too..

 

[Kay1]

I have to say, I wonder what the current economy has to do with your situation. Do you have a job that pays less now? Could you please explain?

 

[natashag76]

Also, if you do go to DCFS and any of the grandkids are 6 or younger, see if you can get WIC. This provides money for staples like milk, eggs, cheese, rice,etc. Stay strong, best of luck.

 

[KAMKIM]

I would check with social services to try and make ends meet temporarily - as far as paying back your family, not sure why they would give you a deadline (and what happens if you dont meet the deadline?) if they understand your position. I'm sorry you and your husband are having a hard time right now but cant you both manage maybe part time work with your disabilities (I am assuming you both have disabilities since you dont work?)

 

[KAMKIM]

Another point I hate to bring up but have to ask - if you are barely putting food on the table and have sold everything...why do you have internet and a computer still? Seem like pretty obvious things to get rid of to buy food.

 

[happygirl]

Kinda of a weird thing to post about on your very first post. I do hope things get better for you

 

[Teacher510]

Kinda of a weird thing to post about on your very first post. I do hope things get better for you

Unless a new user name was created for more anonymity?

 

[A Mickeyfan]

Another point I hate to bring up but have to ask - if you are barely putting food on the table and have sold everything...why do you have internet and a computer still? Seem like pretty obvious things to get rid of to buy food.

yeah... excellent point. If I could not put food on my table & sold everything of value, I doubt I would still have the computer with internet to boot..
I am telling ya, something doesn't sound right.... it doesn't add up..
I can see someone who has been here a while posting a hard luck story & even then, it isn't going to be this bad..... If her children dumped their children on her doorsteps, now all her family is going to disown her.. no way.. not adding up.. lost job 3 years ago, owes family money... none of it adds up.. and first post.. this is something that would not even be posted here but on the community board.. how does it fit in budget. you cannot do a budget when you have no money.... this is a fake...

 

[messymama]

1st, I have belonged to these boards since 2001 under a different user name. No I haven't been to WDW since 2002 but I enjoy reading the posts.

I do not have internet at my home or a computer. I am posting from my night job where I do have use of a computer and since I operate a switchboard my employer does not have a problem with me being on the internet since it is very slow in the evenings but they do need to be manned.

I lost a high paying job 3 years ago. I didn't say I wasn't working. I work this job (30 hours a week) and another job on the weekends (part-time, about 16 hours). My husband is not able to work and has applied for SS disability and was denied. We hired a lawyer and are in the appeal process and it takes a long time.

My family wants their money, plain and simple. If I have learned anything about family it is money makes people do strange things. So what they will do is ostracize me and that hurts.

Like I said, I only wanted to get it off my chest. I have never discussed my personal life under my other user name and I don't want to now.

 

[ruadisneyfan2]

I lost my job 3 years ago and a few months later was diagnosed with a serious illness. Then my DH had a heart attack. Then my oldest DD left her children on my doorstep. All that to say I didn't plan this.

I have myself in a financial mess. I don't have credit card debt but have extensive personal debt to family members that have helped out thinking I could sooner or later get a loan to pay it all back.

Now the whole economy is in the toilet and I am barely making ends meet and can't get the money to repay them. I have been given a deadline and I can't do it.

Now that I won't be able to repay in the time they want I am going to be blackballed from my family and that is going to break my heart.

I have sold everything worth selling and at this point am just keeping the roof over our heads and barely food on the table.

Life isn't always fair. I have considered everything and I mean everything. Nothing is going to get solved by robbing a bank or hurting myself. My DH and grandchildren still need someone.

I am only posting this to actually say it outloud to someone. The stress of keeping it bottled up is taking it's toll.

Thanks for letting me dump.

This would be the least of my worries.
If this is all real, best wishes to you and your family.

 

[A Mickeyfan]

Unless a new user name was created for more anonymity?

and they have been here the last 3 years with no job, sick, sick husband & taking care of their grandkids.. I doubt that one.. what have they been talking about for the last few years... if this is someone that has been here a while.. If this was someone who has really been here, they would either not say anything or outright tell us knowing we were like a (Dis) family.. someone who posts here for a long time, they know what we are all like. Some who surf the net and lurk then decide to come on here to play a game, just do so to see how far they can go on people's sympathy.. who knows, maybe this is a scam to get money from people here... you never know. People are resorting to strange behaviors to steal from others.. no.. I am not saying the real Dis'ers would do that.. but someone who found us would sure as heck try.....

 

[SandrA9810]

Why does every one assume people have the net at home when they post here??? I've only had the internet for 2 months in my house, these past two months. My account was created at a library computer, and that was my only source of net for the past 6 years.
I can definatly see this as some one wanting to not reveal who they are because maybe they're embarresed by the situation.

She said she was diagnosed with a serious illness a few months after her last job, maybe up until everything came crumbling down, she took care of her health and left the financial responsibilty to her husband. With the advances in medical care, I can't see having a heart attack as something major. My g'father had heart murmers and worked every day of his life. A friend's father had an annursym in his 30's, slowed things down as he went through rehab but still went back to work for another 20+ years.

Things only get worse when things are already bad. Nothing goes wrong when you have the money and everything else is going ok. Money is tight as possible here, and that's when the truck decided it hated the raidator and so another 1600 went on the CC because we still need a mode of transportation... but nooo these things couldn't happen when money was flowing a bit better, always afterwards.

While it's a sad situation, and you can keep them in your prayers, ALWAYS take things with a grain of salt on the net.

 

[SandrA9810]

I'm hoping most dis'ers are smart enough not to let some one toy with some one's emotions enough to want to fork any money over... again, they posted this on a budget board so most people are pretty cheap here to begin with and treasure every penny they earn.

But if any one is willing pass around some money... I'd more than happy to accept a few hundred....