One Child families ?

[Tantor]

With one child, I can afford to stay at home with her as long as I choose which is also important to us.

Same here.

Tried to have a second but time ran out.

 

[Elmo888]

Thanks everyone. We are going to try for number 2 in a couple of months again. I realy want two. I don't have a problem getting pregnant it seems to take a little while around five months or so. But it does hapen DH will be 36 this year andI turn 32 this year so we are getting up there in age. Dh doesn't want to be retired and still kids in the house which i understand. After number 2 I will be done. Our issue is insurance we will be switching insurance company's in July when I start to stay at home. Just not sure how that will work?

KELLY

Take your time, and go with what feels right. After our first, I swore up and down and sideways that she would be an only (even sold all my baby stuff). When she was about 3, we thought about another one. Due to a number of reasons (including financial - DH was contracting and it wasn't guaranteed that we would have insurance after his 1 year contract was up), we waited and our DDs are almost 5 years apart. I had my first at 30 and my second at 35, and DH was 36 with the first and 41 with the second. Having one baby at a time has been great, and I love, love, love the age difference. I'm one of those crazy people that thinks that less than 3 years apart is too close. It just wouldn't have worked for me.

I wouldn't start trying until you are on the other insurance in July. I think that some companies won't cover if you are already pregnant, but you could check on that. (Things may have changed, companies have different policies, etc.)

There are a thousand ways to do things. It sure seems (seemed?) like everyone has babies 2 to 3 years apart, but that doesn't mean that it is the way that you have to go. It will work out for you, either way.

 

[labdogs42]

Take your time, and go with what feels right. After our first, I swore up and down and sideways that she would be an only (even sold all my baby stuff). When she was about 3, we thought about another one. Due to a number of reasons (including financial - DH was contracting and it wasn't guaranteed that we would have insurance after his 1 year contract was up), we waited and our DDs are almost 5 years apart. I had my first at 30 and my second at 35, and DH was 36 with the first and 41 with the second. Having one baby at a time has been great, and I love, love, love the age difference. I'm one of those crazy people that thinks that less than 3 years apart is too close. It just wouldn't have worked for me.

Wow -- someone who thinks like me! We have one son now and he's two. I can't imagine wanting another one right now, but I would consider maybe having another when he's four! If I can't, then I'll still have my one wonderful DS! I was 31 when I had my DS, so I still have some time to make up my mind. I'm an only and I liked it, so no guilt for me if he stays on only! (lucky kid has already been to Disney twice and we're all going back in May!)

 

[mrsltg]

To the OP, of course it's fine to have an only. It's just as good to have 2, 3, 4 etc. However, the tone of your posts sound eerily familiar - to me three years ago. I had a dd and was expecting my second. He was stillborn and I was crushed. After that, I decided my dd was it. She would be an only. I swore every which way it was better this way. I told people confidently of my decision to have an only child. She would have all of our love, support, financial assistance, vacations, private schools, toys, etc. In my heart I realized it was only due to my loss that I was saying this. I wanted another baby but was terrified to be in a silent delivery room again.

It took a lot, but I went for it. I now have two dd's. My love is not divided, it is multiplied. College will be more expensive, oh well. I have to weddings to pay for - but I also have two brides to go dress shopping with!

It really is a personal decision. I would caution you to put some distance between yourself and this devastating loss. Give yourself some time to grieve the loss of this baby and then consider your options. There is nothing wrong with having an only child and if that is your choice in your heart of hearts, good for you. If you want another child, good for you.

Good luck!