? on Using a Harness

[dismom9761]

My youngest was 18 mths old on our last trip.I took the monkey harness and used it every day-not all day but often.She HATES strollers(and still does) and we both get tired of holding hands.I will be taking it this October and she will be 2 1/2.I have four children to watch because my DH can't go so it will free up my hands and also help my mom when she is helping me.

BTW I did not try it out on her before going because it was a last minute purchase.

 

[scraptoons]

Once upon a time I used to say that harnesses were cruel and that children were to be TAUGHT not to run away....then I had child #3. I'm eating my words.


I "TAUGHT" DD #1 to never run or walk away from me. She clung to me. No problems. Now she is 8. No matter how hard she tries, we still can easily get separated in a crowd, thanks to people pushing around to be the first in line or in front of others. Where is the consideration? Some people out there don't know what it is.

I "TAUGHT" DD #2 the same. No real problems since she learned from watching big sister.

Up to this point, I have been known to have the most perfectly behaved children around. Perfect strangers have walked up to comment on that. Then.....

Now I am "TEACHING" DS (child #3 and 1st boy)

Let me tell ya....it's a whole different ball game. Same teaching words...same techniques. And I'm the meanest, most strict momma there is.
This little 2 year old boy isn't getting it yet.
His brain is wired differently than my "well behaved" other children. The thought process is not the same. Seems like other boys I know are the same way. They just don't contemplate safety and consequences at a young age as all the girls I've known.
One of these days he will mature enough to finally understand. Until then...his curiosty gets the best of him.

Yesterday at the Zoo, my husband let go of him for 1 second, like to wipe his sweaty hands...then we had to spend the next 5 minutes searching for DS in panic.

It's not worth the stress!!!! DH insisted that I go buy something to keep that child safe.

We are using a hand strap style of leash. It has about 3 or 4 feet of length, so the child can have a sense of independence. DS is excited about getting to "Roam" and feel safe at our sides at the same time. He almost acted relieved when I showed it to him. He knows we don't want him to get lost. He is learning, but we don't want to take chances.

Get a harness that looks intended for use with a child, like that puppy one or a favorite character on it. That way it doesn't look like you are borrowing from your dog. hehe.

 

[sara74]

I think a 6 or 7 or 8.. or 30 year old (me!) is just as into princesses and magic as a 4 year old.. I do understand wanting to take her there though... I think you'll have a wonderful time.

My previous post should have mentioned that the trip was for ME too!
As much for me seeing her seeing WDW as for me seeing WDW. And very much for me setting a precedent of vacationing that DH will have to follow for decades to come! He has never been to WDW and his family has NEVER taken a family vacation! He is in family vacation training. It's like trying to get a 2 year old to hold your hand, but about 50X harder!

 

[MyZoeJane]

I see that I have entered a discussion for which my opinion means nothing because it doesn't jive with yours. I am not a critic of the harness - heck I never even think about them. I was stating an my opinion and that's all that it was MY OPINION and am just getting BLASTED on my parenting skills and now even for where I live. Ciao

Good Lord.

I live in Chicago and I sure hope I never run into YOU on the playground. You seem way oversensitive and if you think THIS is "blasting", I'd hate to see how you fare downtown!

The key words that make me think you're either a VERY inexperienced mother... or you have very ABNORMAL children are the words " A child needs to be taught not to run away. Plain and simple. Given the chance, I'm sure any child would be a runner. Tell your child that he/she needs to always have one hand on you."

Sheesh! The child is TWO. You can teach a two year old many things but you CAN NOT teach them to have impulse control. You're deluded if you think a parent is "safe" simply because they "taught" their child to hold onto their jacket. It's illogical to think that "knowledge" wouldn't just fly right out the window if the child saw Mickey Mouse and decided to run in front of a steamroller to get to him!

For those of you who "cringe" at the sight of a child in a harness... remind yourself... parents who use them, do so because they are REALISTIC and they love their kids. They are simply AWARE of the fact that even the most well behaved child can misbehave, especially under exciting or crowded circumstances. How can THAT make you cringe? Are you THAT full of yourself? You may THINK your child is "extra special" because he or she is "trained" to hold onto your stroller but you're going to be the sorry one when "that one time" happens and your child is snatched, lost, or hit by a truck.

 

[momamy]

when we went to disney when my dd was 18 months ols and again when she was 2 you bet i used the harness. I got the elmo one from walmart and ironed on a minnie patch right over elmo! I used it for 2 reasons A. i like to be connected to my dd she could dart away so quickly and with the crowds i was scared to death she would be lost in a sea of legs!

and b. For crowds people rush so quickly when rain breaks out or when there trying to get good views! i like knowing that i could tug a tiny bit and get her attention even when she couldnt hear me over music or what have you!

just my 2 cents!

Amy Loving mom to a well adjusted former harness baby!

 

[ptslp]

We are leaving in a couple of weeks and after reading the thread noted above and this one, we are seriously considering a harness or wrist "leash" for our 18 month old. When we took our ds (at 2 1/2 and 3, now 3 1/2), there were tons of adults and just his younger sister (2 years younger, so 6 mos, 12 mos, now 18 mos). He is the type to listen/hold on pretty well, but my daughter is totally!! different from him. After going to a museum and outlet store shopping, I am really thinking about the harness. I don't think she will be happy in the stroller the whole day- she wasn't for a few hours- and while not a "runner", she will try to pull away to see things she wants. I don't think that I can "teach" her to stay with me at WDW- just too much going on. She won't yet understand we are leaving if you don't hold hands and I honestly don't want to ruin my vacation with a screaming child sitting in a stroller. I also don't want a backache (or dh to have one) from leaning to hold her hand throughout the day.
That being said, we probably won't be practicing ahead of time-I will probably purchase some type of harness system before we go and won't open it unless we feel we need it. This trip will have 6 kids and 7 adults, so there won't be as many to watch the kids as we usually have, so I will have the harness just in case.
Good luck and I hope it works for you!

 

[D'Family]

My Dd is 3.5. We tried the harness at the mall before our first WDW trip when she was 2, because she was also a runner. The first thing she did when she realized she was "harnessed": SAT DOWN AND DIDN'T BUDGE!(she is extremely independent) We, DH and I, made a rule that one of us would always be "in charge" of Dd. That way she was left to explore her new world, but still be safe. And for our Dd she had the rule that she could NOT run ahead of us or she would go in the stroller and be seat belted. The first few go rounds, we had to put a kicking and screaming child into the stroller. But when she learned we meant business she quickly fell into line with our rule! Now we can go to any amusement parks and have a blast, she stays right with us. We even have a strap on the stroller that she will voluntarily hold onto in large crowds, so as not to get "lost", yet still feel independent.

Good luck with whatever you decide. Have a great vacation.

 

[SalandJeff]

I am the OP of this thread. Thanks to all who offered their experience and suggestions regarding harnesses and my original question. There were many thoughtful posts that really expressed my reasons for wanting to use the harness and I appreciate that. I think we will try using it beforehand at the mall. We've got a plain one that I picked up, but I'm going to check our local Target for the animal type. DD would like that much better.

Regarding this comment -
"...A child needs to be taught not to run away. Plain and simple. Given the chance, I'm sure any child would be a runner. Tell your child that he/she needs to always have one hand on you..."
While I agree that these are things we all need to strive to teach our children, I am not willing to take the chance on testing it out in a place like WDW. Children have different personalities and I know my daughter enough to know that she would not understand this concept. Her pediatrician has said children her age cannot understand cause and effect yet. She will hopefully learn this in time, but right now I need to know she is safe.

Thanks again to all...off to Target tommorow for that puppy.

 

[JafaratHeart]

Sorry, but I'm a little confused as to what the fuss is all about. What is it about the harnesses that bugs some people so much? In all honesty, I hadn't given them a second thought until reading this thread. I've seen people using them in crowded places, and I always figured they were another useful child-rearing accessory, like a stroller, a sippy-cup, or a booster-seat. I had no clue that there was so much pent-up emotion about them out there. Where does it come from? Is it because the child is being restrained? Because, if so, high chairs, cribs, strollers, and car seats should be subject to the same judgement.

I'm not taking sides; I'm simply curious to know the reasoning behind the controversy.

 

[tiggger1]

Where did you get the harness with the puppy???

I bought my daughter the monkey one at walmart. The reason i bought it for her daddy is very tall and her arms get very tired of being up like that. plus i want a happy girl in Disney not a whiney cranky one.

 

[tictoc]

I do not have an opinion if the harness os the right or wrong thing to do. it was the right thing for me. I have two sons 14 months apart and a daughter six years younger thatn them. We always used the harness at WDW and in Sea World, etc. I do not believe the harness is supposed to teach the child anything. I think it is to prevent them from coming up missing. It did the trick. We practiced at home and ALL of our pictures of them at Disney have the harness in them. We got ridiculed and even had people make hateful remarks to us. It simply was not their decision what I did with my kids.

Bottom line is it is for safety--you would not think twice about confining that inquisitive little spirit in a car seat now would you?

Practice before you go, put the harness on, ignore other people who parent not wrong, but different. Enjoy your trip and if a $6 harness gives you piece of mind--so be it!

Have a magical trip

 

[SalandJeff]

Just a little update from the OP. Went to target today to get the little puppy harness. Well dd did not like it before we even opened it. I thought it was so cute. There was one that was not attached to the packaging so we tried it on while she was in the carriage and she was upset, not by the fact that it was a harness, but because she did not like the little puppy on her back. So we will stick to the plain harness. But if anyone was interested, they really are cute and are only $9.99 at Target in the baby travel section.

 

[emma'smom]

Wow, I have three instinctual responses to what you wrote:

As someone who works preschoolers, both with and without disabilities I can tell you that there are huge differences in typically developing two year olds in how much physical activity they seek, how well they remember rules, how adventuresome they are and how impulsive. Some two year olds can easily master "hold mommy's hand all the time" and others are going to have more trouble with it. To judge another parent or another child because they follow a different developmental time table from your own is ridiculous.

My second response is that as a parent I wanted my toddler to be joyful and inquisitive. I wanted him to try walking on curbs all by himself, and to use both hands to pick up that wonderful worm he saw lying on the grass. "Hold on to mommy every second" doesn't fit with the inquisitive attitude I want my child to have. If you really want your two year old to follow a rule like "never" let go of mommy you have to be very consistent, and frankly consistently enforcing that rule would go against what I believe about parenting and child development.

Finally, I don't see a need to terrify my young child by passing on MY responsibility to keep him safe onto him. Two year olds have a very limited understanding of the concept of "maybe" so telling him that strangers can be dangerous would have translated in his little mind to "you are surrounded by people who want to hurt you".

To the OP -- if you see a harness as a gentle way to keep your child safe in a challenging situation, I say go for it!

Well said! All kids are different...with different needs!

 

[BillyM]

we had one that was velcro and hook to there wrist and to your wrist and we like it it worked good and you did not get all the dumb looks or comments like you are getting her and just tell them if you want to walk you have to have it on

 

[Aristomommy]

I used a different style with DD. It looked like a waistpouch and then had an attachment in the back for me to hold onto. I think I got it at Toys R Us. Later on, DD used it just as a waistpouch. DD was not a child who would run away and disappear from me. But she was a toddler and I know how easily toddlers forget where they are or the rules in a crowd. We travel frequently and places like WDW and huge international airports were not places to take a chance. I also wanted DD to walk around and not sit in a stroller all day long. It is perfectly fine to give your toddler some independence without the possibility of someone snatching him/her or getting separated from you.

I personally didn't like the wrist attachment as it has to be pretty tight or it comes off. Also, if a toddler should try to run away or have a tantrum, they can pull on their wrist quite a bit. Something around their waist or the backpack style wuld be better, but less portable when not in use. As you look around WDW or airports, you'll find they are very common. I don't want to be part of the arguing, just letting you know our experience.

 

[pbharris4]

To the OP: I asked the same question a few days ago. Here's what I decided to do: I am going to buy a harness Buddy at WalMart or Target (online) and take it with us into the parks in my bag. I am not going to use it unless we absolutely have to. I will keep the receipt and return it if we do not use it. At least we will be prepared.

SHe's not always like that, but all kids hit that age where they test the boundaries, and are independent. They want what they want and when they want it. Now, Now, Now and when they don't get it the back arches, and the arms go flailing back while their faces get red and they scream at such a high pitch it nearly deafens you. That's where we are at the moment. I hope the phase doesn't last too long! We were lucky the last 2 years..not one problem or tantrum..I don't think we'll be that lucky this year.

 

[1stluvispooh]

Ok lets all rember that only you know your child and what is right for you might not be right for someone else. That said when we went to Orlando and my kids were 5 and 3 I wound up buying a leash at Sea World. My son 5 at the time had and well still has a tendancy to get excited and run ahead of us. We used his leash when we first got at the parks when his excitment was high but he soon learned that he had to stay by mom or dad. The nexted spring when he was turning 6 a got him an "angle alarm" (got it at Wal-Mart). It beeps when he wearing the reciver gets to far from me. It was intended to used as the parent gets the part that beeps but as a friend of mine said he is the one who needs to realize that he is too far away from you. Anyway it work well for us Now he is 8 and knows when he is getting to far ahead, stops and waits for me to touch him before he starts walking again. I still have the leash and the alarm in my backpack if I need it. Last week at the zoo I just had to mention that I might have to pull it out and he slowed down and stayed with us. Do what works for you and you fell is right for your family