? on Using a Harness

[SalandJeff]

I always swore I would neve use these, but my 2.5 yo dd is a runner and has no fear. I am not willing to take the chance on losing her.

For those that have used at harness, did you try it out before your trip at home, or just start using it once you got there? I thought it might be good to practice at the mall or something, but then started thinking that if we don't use it until we get there, we can make it a "rule" of being at WDW.

 

[Mickey'snewestfan]

I've never used one -- not because I wouldn't but because DS was 6 the first time we went to WDW.

Having said that my general experience with my own toddler is that new things were the hardest. So we would have practiced at home. At 2.5 DS loved to walk places, so I probably would have taken him somewhere and given him the choice of "walk with the harness or ride in the stroller without it". Being strapped in the stroller is a pretty "logical" consequence about fussing about the harness. I think his desire to be walking would have gotten him over any protests about the harness. I also would have told him that "we're practicing for the airport, and for Mickey". Then when I got there I'd already have the choice of "harness or stroller" established.

 

[Cindy's Mom]

I always swore I would neve use these, but my 2.5 yo dd is a runner and has no fear. I am not willing to take the chance on losing her.

For those that have used at harness, did you try it out before your trip at home, or just start using it once you got there? I thought it might be good to practice at the mall or something, but then started thinking that if we don't use it until we get there, we can make it a "rule" of being at WDW.

I don't like harnesses, unless the child has a true learning/development disability and there are no other alternatives. A child needs to be taught not to run away. Plain and simple. Given the chance, I'm sure any child would be a runner. Tell your child that he/she needs to always have one hand on you. Whether it be your hand, leg, shirt, jacket, whatever.....its non-negotiable, just like the car seat. Explain "fear" to your child - explain strangers, explain what would happy if mommy can't see her at all times.

 

[Schmeck]

I think it depends on how well your child handles change - if he's pretty laid back about new stuff, just save it for WDW!

My warning - don't get the 'leash' that is stretchy like telephone cord. Don't let your child get more than a foot away from you, even with the harness. I saw two accidents involving those long, curly cords. One child got knocked down as a stroller came between the parent and the boy (he got all scraped up!) and another child got dragged down when an adult tripped over the cord, knocking the boy down as well.

 

[Mickey'snewestfan]

I don't like harnesses, unless the child has a true learning/development disability and there are no other alternatives. A child needs to be taught not to run away. Plain and simple. Given the chance, I'm sure any child would be a runner. Tell your child that he/she needs to always have one hand on you. Whether it be your hand, leg, shirt, jacket, whatever.....its non-negotiable, just like the car seat. Explain "fear" to your child - explain strangers, explain what would happy if mommy can't see her at all times.

Wow, I have three instinctual responses to what you wrote:

As someone who works preschoolers, both with and without disabilities I can tell you that there are huge differences in typically developing two year olds in how much physical activity they seek, how well they remember rules, how adventuresome they are and how impulsive. Some two year olds can easily master "hold mommy's hand all the time" and others are going to have more trouble with it. To judge another parent or another child because they follow a different developmental time table from your own is ridiculous.

My second response is that as a parent I wanted my toddler to be joyful and inquisitive. I wanted him to try walking on curbs all by himself, and to use both hands to pick up that wonderful worm he saw lying on the grass. "Hold on to mommy every second" doesn't fit with the inquisitive attitude I want my child to have. If you really want your two year old to follow a rule like "never" let go of mommy you have to be very consistent, and frankly consistently enforcing that rule would go against what I believe about parenting and child development.

Finally, I don't see a need to terrify my young child by passing on MY responsibility to keep him safe onto him. Two year olds have a very limited understanding of the concept of "maybe" so telling him that strangers can be dangerous would have translated in his little mind to "you are surrounded by people who want to hurt you".

To the OP -- if you see a harness as a gentle way to keep your child safe in a challenging situation, I say go for it!

 

[mantysk8coach]

How ironic, I was just coming on here to post about the same topic!

I was also a member of the "I will never, ever use a harness" club. Until my daughter came along. She will just have turned two when we go in June, and she is a runner. I hate to have her in the stroller all day. I decided to get the harness just as an option. I will have it incase I want to use it.

What may work for you is one of the cute harnesses. I bought my daughter the puppy one, incase you haven't seen these, it looks like a puppy backpack (even has a pocket) and the "leash" part of the harness just looks like the puppys tail. She fell in love with it right away, hugging the puppy as we walked around the store. When we got home, I put the harness on her, and she wasn't phased. She went about her playing and barely knew I was holding on to her. I would definately do a test run with it though.

I know they should ideally be "taught" not to run away, but I'm not sure a two year old fully understands what could happen to them if they don't stay close. They just know that they see Mickey and they want to get to him ASAP.

Good luck...I support your decision. Disney is supposed to be a stress free place, do whatever it takes to keep your child safe.

 

[mantysk8coach]

Wow, I have three instinctual responses to what you wrote:

As someone who works preschoolers, both with and without disabilities I can tell you that there are huge differences in typically developing two year olds in how much physical activity they seek, how well they remember rules, how adventuresome they are and how impulsive. Some two year olds can easily master "hold mommy's hand all the time" and others are going to have more trouble with it. To judge another parent or another child because they follow a different developmental time table from your own is ridiculous.

My second response is that as a parent I wanted my toddler to be joyful and inquisitive. I wanted him to try walking on curbs all by himself, and to use both hands to pick up that wonderful worm he saw lying on the grass. "Hold on to mommy every second" doesn't fit with the inquisitive attitude I want my child to have. If you really want your two year old to follow a rule like "never" let go of mommy you have to be very consistent, and frankly consistently enforcing that rule would go against what I believe about parenting and child development.

Finally, I don't see a need to terrify my young child by passing on MY responsibility to keep him safe onto him. Two year olds have a very limited understanding of the concept of "maybe" so telling him that strangers can be dangerous would have translated in his little mind to "you are surrounded by people who want to hurt you".

To the OP -- if you see a harness as a gentle way to keep your child safe in a challenging situation, I say go for it!

Well said...thank you! You put my thoughts into words better than I just did!

 

[Cindy's Mom]

Wow, I have three instinctual responses to what you wrote:

As someone who works preschoolers, both with and without disabilities I can tell you that there are huge differences in typically developing two year olds in how much physical activity they seek, how well they remember rules, how adventuresome they are and how impulsive. Some two year olds can easily master "hold mommy's hand all the time" and others are going to have more trouble with it. To judge another parent or another child because they follow a different developmental time table from your own is ridiculous.

My second response is that as a parent I wanted my toddler to be joyful and inquisitive. I wanted him to try walking on curbs all by himself, and to use both hands to pick up that wonderful worm he saw lying on the grass. "Hold on to mommy every second" doesn't fit with the inquisitive attitude I want my child to have. If you really want your two year old to follow a rule like "never" let go of mommy you have to be very consistent, and frankly consistently enforcing that rule would go against what I believe about parenting and child development.

Finally, I don't see a need to terrify my young child by passing on MY responsibility to keep him safe onto him. Two year olds have a very limited understanding of the concept of "maybe" so telling him that strangers can be dangerous would have translated in his little mind to "you are surrounded by people who want to hurt you".

To the OP -- if you see a harness as a gentle way to keep your child safe in a challenging situation, I say go for it!

You took everything I said COMPLETELY out of context. Of course I don't have my child hanging on to me every second, my style is actully quite the opposite. But you can bet the farm that when we are in airports; WDW, downtown Chicago train stations (that we are in EVERY SINGLE DAY) they have a hand on my jacket at ALL TIMES.

I don't see where I exactly wrote to 'TERRIFY" you child, would you mind pointing that out for me? What I said is to talk to your child about fear and the consequences of running away. No where did I ever say TERRIFY and I thank you not to put words in my mouth.

You write in your post that its no OK for me to "judge another parent", but yet that is EXACTLY what you are doing to me? Isn't it?

I don't understand why you underestimate the mind of a two year old, they know much much more that I believe you realize.

 

[sara74]

You took everything I said COMPLETELY out of context. Of course I don't have my child hanging on to me every second, my style is actully quite the opposite. But you can bet the farm that when we are in airports; WDW, downtown Chicago train stations (that we are in EVERY SINGLE DAY) they have a hand on my jacket at ALL TIMES.

I don't understand why you underestimate the mind of a two year old, they know much much more that I believe you realize.

First of all, some of us don't have a crowded, urban environment in which to acclimate our children to large groups available to us. Secondly, I would be hard pressed to find a two year old that could be trusted to hold onto someone without becoming distracted. I know my son knows much more than I give him credit for but there are two things that I know his limits on much more than he does - 1. impulse control or lack thereof and 2. attention span.

Besides which, this is a parental choice for each family to make for themselves. The OP already made the choice for herself. If you don't believe that it is in the child's best interest then at least accept that it is for the OP's peace of mind.

And if you are worried about psychological scarring I will share this story for you...I'm discussing next week's trip with DD4 and when I was about to remind her that we will be there for a few days before we hit the parks, she interrupted me to tell me that it is not safe to stop and tie your shoe in WDW as you could get separated from your mom and get lost (ever read the Little Critter book Just Lost?) Anyway, this illustrates her attention to rules and her capacity to understand the consequences, right? Well, we were at the store buying a harness for her brother (21 months) yesterday and she ASKED me to buy one for her! I don't think I really have to worry about her asmuch and wasn't going to get a restraint for her but SHE told ME that it would help keep her safe if there would be lots of people around. She chose a pink wrist strap and put it on last night to try it out. She understands why a parent might want one for a kid and if she can accept that the unforseen could happen at WDW, why can't the critics of the harness users accept that?

 

[sara74]

OP - we did try it out last night around the house. I just put it on DS without the strap and he forgot about it in about 5 seconds (no attention span!) I guess we could try a walk down the street with it, but I have no where near the crowds we will see at JFK or WDW around us to really give it a go. Hey, for $6 at least I know I have it with us...

Just wish I could have found the cute ones everyone talks about! I tried Target, Walmart and ended up with a bright blue Safety First one at Babies R Us!

 

[Cindy's Mom]

why can't the critics of the harness users accept that?

I see that I have entered a discussion for which my opinion means nothing because it doesn't jive with yours. I am not a critic of the harness - heck I never even think about them. I was stating an my opinion and that's all that it was MY OPINION and am just getting BLASTED on my parenting skills and now even for where I live. Ciao

 

[mdhkitten]

I'm attaching a link to another thread regarding harnesses. There are links in there to pictures of the puppy, monkey, and bear backpack harnesses that the "leash" part looks like the tail. They're VERY cute, and my daughter loves hers. She's good in a stroller, but I will be taking mine for waiting in lines. She doesn't always want to be held, and sometimes I'm too tired to keep holding her!

http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=1079100

 

[CinRell]

I see that I have entered a discussion for which my opinion means nothing because it doesn't jive with yours. I am not a critic of the harness - heck I never even think about them. I was stating an my opinion and that's all that it was MY OPINION and am just getting BLASTED on my parenting skills and now even for where I live. Ciao

I don't blast your parenting skills. I would never put my child in a harness and when I see families using them I cringe.

My little cousin who we had living with us for a while was hyper active, had ADHD, no fear and wandered.. a LOT.. what did this mean?
When we DID go to places like sea world and six flags we had a talk with him before we went that if he wandered, we'd leave... on some occassions we did...

Honestly? And I'm READY for the flames.. we'd have never taken him at a young age to disney. Just wasn't an option for us with how he would have been. NOW he is fine. He learned the rules... he saw the consequences... not positive if harnessing is teaching much.. I do understand it's keeping the child safe but.. I don't know I just can't get to the point I'd ever consider them.

 

[brat5063]

Where did you get the harness with the puppy???

 

[sara74]

I see that I have entered a discussion for which my opinion means nothing because it doesn't jive with yours. I am not a critic of the harness - heck I never even think about them. I was stating an my opinion and that's all that it was MY OPINION and am just getting BLASTED on my parenting skills and now even for where I live. Ciao

I was defending the OP who was not seeking opinions on whether or not she *should* use a harness, but rather how people who choose to use them go about it.

I always swore I would neve use these, but my 2.5 yo dd is a runner and has no fear. I am not willing to take the chance on losing her.

For those that have used at harness, did you try it out before your trip at home, or just start using it once you got there? I thought it might be good to practice at the mall or something, but then started thinking that if we don't use it until we get there, we can make it a "rule" of being at WDW.[QUOTE/]

Perhaps rereading the first post would allow you to see my point of view of your response. I'm not knocking you for not using a harness, nor am knocking you for living in Chicago. I've never been there and would love to go! But the OP was asking about how people who choose to use harnesses get their toddler used to them. I doubt that she wanted to hear that she underestimates her child's mind or that she hasn't taught them what they need to be taught. I never blasted your parenting skills. If you can get a 2 year old to stick with you reliably in a crowd more power to you! You're a better parent than I! I'll be using a harness next week, see you all there!

 

[sara74]

Honestly? And I'm READY for the flames.. we'd have never taken him at a young age to disney.

Not a flame... we are aware that our first trip to WDW is much more for the 4 year old than her little brother, who is not yet 2 years old, but I couldn't bear to leave him home! And somehow I see me potentially getting flamed if I 1) left him home 2) left him in the stroller crying instead of letting him walk some and 3)using a harness like we plan too!

Sometimes there's no right or wrong, just the lesser of several evils! And what that is varies from family to family. In a year things might be different with DS, who would then be almost 3, but then we would have an infant, DD would be older and maybe not as into the princesses and that would bring a whole new set of challenges to a trip!

 

[mantysk8coach]

Where did you get the harness with the puppy???

I got it at WalMart. They had a puppy and a monkey. They have the monkey at walmart.com

 

[nicolem]

OP, to answer your original question, we did use a harness with DS in Dec (he was 17mo then), and we'll use one when we go in June (he'll be almost 2). We "practiced" with it in our yard once and at the mall once (where we got SO MANY positive comments from other parents, BTW), and that was it - he took to it pretty quickly and didn't seem to mind it.

We used the kind that looks like a monkey, and we found it at Wal-Mart for $9.99. It was the best $10 we spent for that trip, because it allowed DS to walk much more than we would have been comfortable with otherwise.

 

[mantysk8coach]

This is the one I got...just found the link in that other thread.

http://www.target.com/gp/detail.htm...ew=custReviews&asin=B000EBITU8#R2IA8A9WUOJ98H

 

[CinRell]

Not a flame... we are aware that our first trip to WDW is much more for the 4 year old than her little brother, who is not yet 2 years old, but I couldn't bear to leave him home! And somehow I see me potentially getting flamed if I 1) left him home 2) left him in the stroller crying instead of letting him walk some and 3)using a harness like we plan too!

Sometimes there's no right or wrong, just the lesser of several evils! And what that is varies from family to family. In a year things might be different with DS, who would then be almost 3, but then we would have an infant, DD would be older and maybe not as into the princesses and that would bring a whole new set of challenges to a trip!

I completely understand.. DSis has a little girl.. Dneice.. 2 years old.. I want to take them to Disney when DN is almost 5 (perfect age for disney I think)... Dsis wants another baby so .. I know if she has one before the trip, we'll just postpone it. I think a 6 or 7 or 8.. or 30 year old (me!) is just as into princesses and magic as a 4 year old.. I do understand wanting to take her there though... I think you'll have a wonderful time.