Where can I start??? Grab a Pepsi and some popcorn!!!
My next older brother married a nutjob. She screams at the kids all the time (they are now 17 and 14) and she STILL makes them stand in the corner when they are "bad"!!! She just met my mom on their driveway with a bunch of my niece's toys and a few things my mom had given them for wedding gifts and said, "You told me if I ever wanted to get rid of these to give them back to you, so here". She also give my niece "collectible" Barbies every year for Christmas, lets her tear off the paper, carefully, then immediately puts them away in a closet as her "college fund". My nephew is a senior and she went in last week and cleared out his room to get it ready to become my brother's office when my nephew goes away to school. After I divorced my abusive, child-molesting ex, she told my parents to tell me that she didn't want me around her children b/c I was a "bad influence" b/c I was divorced. She must have forgotten the part where SHE was divorced from her married-at-18 hubby b/c she caught him in bed with her best friend. Come to find out...she had refused to sleep with him in the first place...her own husband!
Oldest brother married a nutjob (sensing a pattern here?

). She was literally born in a teepee, although her parents are not native Americans, her dad is a wannabe who stays on peyote most of the time. She and my bro have popped out 6 children (2 of whom followed my youngest 2 and she even "borrowed" my youngest's middle name for one of them) all are "homeschooled" (BTW, I do homeschool, I'm all for it, but she barely keeps them fed, much less educated). Recently, my 10yo nephew ran over the 6yo's feet with the mower/tractor and she had to have surgery to re-attach toes and such. Within a few days, she was running (sort of) around outside barefoot among the cow patties again. They live in squalor and disarray. My bro says they teach "gun control" in their school...they "teach the kids how to control 'em!" They also play poor all the time and even get free or very cheap pizzas on Sundays by telling the pizza place it's for their church. They get people to give them all kinds of things, never go on vacation, only to visit more weird family, and they are financially LOADED. I must say that this brother is a much more willing participant with his idiot wife than my other one.
DH has a sister who is a real user, climber, wannabe. She latched right onto me when he and I first met b/c I had grown up in Europe, so certainly I knew all of the "right things". She had me give her etiquette lessons, basically. They live about 30 minutes away, FIL & MIL do not drive much at all, but she won't bring her 2 kids to come visit them but maybe 3 or 4 times a year. She will, however, take MIL along to WDW to babysit said kids so she and her DH can have a good time without them. She also refused to drive 30 minutes "out of the way" to drop MIL off at the NEXT idiot sister's house to visit them and their newborn. She made that BIL drive "halfway" to pick MIL up.
Now, to the cream of our crop...DH's youngest sister. She's been a loser pretty much her whole life, sleeping w/ guys trying to get PG so she could force them to marry her (apple doesn't fall far from the tree

), but was unsuccessful. Then, after one of her "episodes in bed" she had a revelation from God and got uber-holy. I mean, skirts, white socks, and black keds everywhere. She was unable to hold a steady job (too hot, too cold, too much sitting, too much standing, you get the idea) She lied to her parents that she was working at one place when I found out that she'd showed up once. Now, mind you, I am a Christian, was raised a Southern Baptist, but I'm not waaaaay out there on the right if you KWIM. She put herself on an online dating thing (no biggie, DH and I met online almost 11 years ago), but hooked up with a nutjob from (where else?) Orlando. He came to visit and he is Wormtongue from the Lord of the Rings movies without the Goth clothes! Heebie Jeebies. He USED to work for WDW, but quit b/c they hire gays, so now he works at a hospital in an "executive position" (that only pays $12 an hour, we learned). He is deeply in debt from having lost everything to an ex in a divorce and for CHARGING donations to missionaries for his church. Alrighty then. Then they go to Amish country for the day and future BIL and SIL are handing out religious tracts to the Amish and Mennonites!!!
So, they start their counseling and the preacher wants them to read this certain book that has a chapter about "marital relations". They both freak out, there is no way they are going to read this "nasty" book.

AS IF they havent' both already done the wild thing more times than anyone can count! Whatever, they wind up getting married here by a JP and have the church wedding in Florida...where my in-laws wouldn't/couldn't go!!! So, she gets PG right off the bat (how'd THAT happen???) and they are poverty stricken. On welfare, but they still can buy a house. Still racking up those charges to missionaries. So, she pops out the first kid and I sent them a BUNCH of clothes in all sizes, since they are poor and I know how showers go. I found out that they THREW AWAY several outfits b/c they had Disney characters on them and giving them away to Goodwill or whatnot would have just "spread the evil". I was warned to never give them anything Disney again. No problem-o...I won't give them ANYTHING ever again, the ingrates. So, she just popped out child number 2, before the 1st one even turned 1yo!!! I just don't think they have any business being on welfare, keeping several cats and rabbits, and popping out the kids (they believe birth control is a sin, but can't seem to figure out where babies come from). They have left several churches b/c they aren't strict enough (the last one said that it was a sin for men and women to swim together or to even wear swimsuits) They currently attend a church that believes that before the flood, humans had water and not blood in their veins. Every time I've gone to WDW, they want to come pick us up at our hotel and take us to church...no thank you!!! Last time, they "agreed" they could meet us at DTD, but I just told them we were too busy. Last thing I need is Wormtongue and Madam Nutjob telling me I'm going to hell for wanting to see Mickey!!!
I can easily say that I am the only normal SIL in this entire family!!!
