Okay... so does anyone else not get along with their (future) in-laws?

[Stacerita]

My mother's in-laws are like this. Notice how I said they were my mother's in-laws and not my grandparents. That will give you a clue on just how bad they are. There is not enough time or room to post all the junk they did to my mother but the one that really sticks out is that on the day of my parents wedding shower, my mothers inlaws took my grandparents(mom's mom & dad) aside and told them that they told my father he shouldn't marry my mom. They went on to say that she is spolied and that my father would never make her happy. They much would have rathered him marry his previous girlfriend. They also made some issue of race (mom is latin) and said it wouldn't last if they did marry. Thank goodness no one listened to them or I wouldn't be here. Over the years they were pretty crappy to my mother. It took her a long time to just let it go. The last time they spoke was when my grandfather passed away 10 years ago. Oh, and they are so terrible that they dont speak to my brother or myself since we are "her" children. Fine by me.

Even though they say you marry into a family, you dont. You marry the person you love and want to build a life with. Think of the family you marry into like a gift with purchase......If the family that comes attached is great...then you got a bonus. If they are not so good.....stick it in the bak of the closet to forget it and only bring it out when you have to.

Im just glad that DBF's parents are great.

 

[sajetto]

OMG! Stacerita, this is way off topic but your tag is too funny!! I used to say I hated butt bows but my dress ended up having one to conceal where the train can be removed. Just had to say I loved the tag

 

[Stacerita]

OMG! Stacerita, this is way off topic but your tag is too funny!! I used to say I hated butt bows but my dress ended up having one to conceal where the train can be removed. Just had to say I loved the tag

Thanks! That tag was given to me when I was venting about being my best friends Maid of Honor.

 

[allisonswonderland]

Hey Laura- I had that too. My fiance is a lawyer and was waiting on a settlement that had not come in yet but wanted to go ahead and get my ring so he asked his dad if he could borrow the money (I did not know this). He knew the money would be there within a month so he could pay him right back. Well his dad did not understand why it had to be THAT much. Then his mom told me that I was engaged to his dad for a while b/c fiance had to borrow the money and she told others this. My fiance paid them back within a month plus interest and he still gets crap about it, but his brother would not even buy his child a matres that fit his bed (he had a double bed, but a twin matress so they put it sideways and had him sleeping in the floor) so my fiances dad bought a matress for the child. Brother is also and lawyer and is not required to pay it back. But they do not want to pay for our wedding b/c it is frivoulous

 

[Laurafoster]

My grandparents are so much worse! (My dads parents). My mother had awful complications during the birth of my sister in which both her and my sister nearly died. All of this was down to docter negligence. This ended up with my sister being severly brain damaged. One day when my dad was out my Nan came round and told my mother that she should not have married her son and she has ruined his life by having a "faulty" baby!

 

[lisajl]

My grandparents are so much worse! (My dads parents). My mother had awful complications during the birth of my sister in which both her and my sister nearly died. All of this was down to docter negligence. This ended up with my sister being severly brain damaged. One day when my dad was out my Nan came round and told my mother that she should not have married her son and she has ruined his life by having a "faulty" baby!

OMG...Faulty baby? Ok..I thought my inlaws were bad!

Lisa

 

[FutureAshleyDukes]

My grandparents are so much worse! (My dads parents). My mother had awful complications during the birth of my sister in which both her and my sister nearly died. All of this was down to docter negligence. This ended up with my sister being severly brain damaged. One day when my dad was out my Nan came round and told my mother that she should not have married her son and she has ruined his life by having a "faulty" baby!

OH MY GOODNESS! I can't believe anyone could say such a thing. Your poor mother, I just can't imagine what I would do in such a situation.

 

[DznyLvr2005]

OK I could write a 500 page book about this!!! BUt I wont...
I'm catholic and my husband is protestant. His selfish mother almost ruined our wedding because we were getting married in a catholic church. I need like a good hour to explain!! lol
Here's what happened in chronological order...
#1) (to her son) "You can't get married there, it's not the same God." Is she SERIOUS!???!?!?
#2) "I want the wedding in NY" (I'm from NJ and my church is in NJ (20 minutes from NY)
#3) "We have no money to help you pay for this" (YEAH OK, they go to Atlantic City like every weekend! GRRRRRR!!!!!!)
#4) "Oh I didn't know I had to pay for the rehearsal dinner. I'm not doing it"
#5) "Let's go to Davids Bridal in Brooklyn" (without my mother! YEAH RIGHT!!!)
#6) Lies lies lies lies
#7) To her son "let her parents pay for everything"
#8) We received $500 from his fathers boss (father is a florist and did the flowers for the wedding and paid for them) Well, she took the $500 he gave us and "put it towards the flowers!!!!!"
HOLY CRAP, CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS
#9) We never got a wedding gift or EVEN WEDDING CARD from his mother
#10) Everything is about her her her her her....
#11) She doesn't have ONE picture of us at the wedding up at her house
I can go on and on.....
The only thing that got my mind off this for 2 weeks was our honeymoon trip to DW!!!
SHE's absolutely INSANEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

 

[Skylarr29]

My soon to be mother in law takes the cake... so much I have contemplated ending our relationship. I would not leave my children with her ever when we have them and I knwo it will cause many issues. My fiance was in the hosipitol for months and even though we live together for years she jsut tried to take total control and she was soooo mean to me. Its really too long to get into on here but no you are not the only one... mine is horrible

 

[CherCrazy]

I had the MIL from hell in my life for twenty years. She made the movie monster-in-law look like a cartoon...actually I wouldn't even watch the movie because I lived it for so many years. She died about 5 years ago. We rarely ever talk about her.

One of her parting shots was to leave a letter to my husband in her computer, so he would find it after she died. She told him that he and our kids would be better off without me. And...that it was MY FAULT that our precious DS was born with learning disabilities. She called him DAMAGED.

I should have mailed copies of that letter to her lovely relatives after she died. They all thought she was wonderful. HA! Her late DH's family knew her for the nut case she was.

At least I don't have to worry about running into her in heaven. Don't think she made it there.

 

[FutureAshleyDukes]

Okay So I'll include one of my own. DH2B had a really bad seizure a week before our wedding. He has had about a 10 year struggle with epilepsy, and after the countless hospital visits my insurance wouldn't pick him up as a dependent. Not to mention I helped him pay for a hospital visit his insurance would barely cover. Well, what does his mom do? SHE GOES TO DISNEY WORLD. Yes, she goes to the EXACT location we were going to have our wedding, and to make matters worse..... she sent me a postcard that said "GUESS WHERE WE ARE!!!!"

I wish I was making this up. It was the most spiteful thing anyone has done to me.

 

[CherCrazy]

Poor Ashley

It will never get better with someone like that. You will have to get ready for lifelong combat with this woman.

The best way for me to deal with my MIL when she was alive, was to not deal with her. We stayed away from her as much as we could. She was alcoholic, abusive, nasty, manipulative, bossy, hateful. I could handle it when it was directed at me, but as she got close to dying (she had cancer and knew she was dying) she started dragging my children and my parents into her nastiness, saying bad things about them. Needless to say, children are perfection, and I can't understand how someone who supposedly "loves" her grandchildren could spew meaness about them.

Someday I think I will write a book about the REAL Monster-in-Laws that are out there. Do you want to be in it????

 

[Disneyrsh]

I wonder what has made these women behave so badly?

In my case, I've resolved to be a great MIL to my daughters' husbands because I don't want them to have to deal with it. ( Iworry about the sons' mothers, tho)

It also seems like the daughters in this thread (including me) have more trouble with the son's mothers than the sons have with the daughter's mothers. I wonder why that is, too... Is it a territorial power struggle bringing out the worst in people?

It's sort of like watching people behave incredibly badly at Disney; you just sort of watch in stunned amazement and wonder, how did they get to this point in their lives where they're behaving like this?!

With my MIL we've found that constructive punishment (ie telling her her behavior is inexcusable and we need to take a break for several months to resolve the issue) will sometimes change her behavior, for a while...

 

[Laurafoster]

Okay So I'll include one of my own. DH2B had a really bad seizure a week before our wedding. He has had about a 10 year struggle with epilepsy, and after the countless hospital visits my insurance wouldn't pick him up as a dependent. Not to mention I helped him pay for a hospital visit his insurance would barely cover. Well, what does his mom do? SHE GOES TO DISNEY WORLD. Yes, she goes to the EXACT location we were going to have our wedding, and to make matters worse..... she sent me a postcard that said "GUESS WHERE WE ARE!!!!"

I wish I was making this up. It was the most spiteful thing anyone has done to me.

WOW Ashley that is awful! After everything you guys have been through that really takes the cake!

 

[TENIA66]

Oh I want to play....just a minute..brb

 

[Cinderella Fan]

I remember the day DF and I moved in together, it was one of the worst days of my life (not because of him!). I had only met his parents on a few occasions. They day I moved in, his mother cam over after DF had left for work. She told me that she and her DH were prepared to offer me $50,000 to have a fulkl hysterectomy so there would NEVER be any children between us. She said that I was not "pretty enough" to bear children with her son.

This was 5 years ago.... Now, they have set up their money so that DF will inherit everything, and just in case he passes away before me (he is 10 years older), I will get nothing. They don't even want me to get the $$ that we have worked for (he was stupid enough to agree to put their names on all of his savings and IRA's).

His mother calls every morning to make sure he is up for work, sometimes I wake up to find her in our kitchen making his lunch. She refuses to let him grow up, she even asks that I stay home when he goes to the doctor so that she can go! I teach kindergarten, and she taught 2nd grade for 34 years. She even goes so far to tell me that my teaching style is wrong. She once told me that my students would make "stupid" 2nd graders.

I feel for so many of you all that are going through the same situations that I am. I think we just need to ban together and make a pact to TRY not to be the same MILs that we have.

 

[sajetto]

She told me that she and her DH were prepared to offer me $50,000 to have a fulkl hysterectomy so there would NEVER be any children between us. She said that I was not "pretty enough" to bear children with her son.

OMG I am so sorry. I feel very lucky that my DF's grandmother is the only problem. At least she has never said anything like that to me. Hang in there all of you, I now realize how blessed I am