Okay, is delivering a baby really scary?

[MerryPoppins]

I have two children. Both were c-sections. With the first I was in labor from Wednesday through Friday morning. Sometime Thursday they gave me Pitocin because I wasn't dialating fast enough. That was not a picnic. I was already very tired and the pain was terrible. I actually told my husband to pack up and take me home. They finally gave me an epidural and it was a miracle. It gave me a chance to relax and smile, but we had to go ahead with a c-section Friday morning. It was the best thing that could have happened!

By the way, in recovery I asked DH how long he wanted to wait to have another. DH looked frazzled and very shocked. My doc said he'd never heard a mom who'd been through hell for a couple of days ask that in recovery. You do forget!

My second one was a planned c-section all the way. I didn't want to go through hours of painful labor when the doc didn't think my chances would be any more successful than the first. I told him that if I didn't think I could have a section, I wouldn't be pregnant! And I meant it.

 

[Mr.BsMom]

Everyone's experience is different, and somehow it just all works out. The entire time I was pregnant, I kept wondering how my son would actually get out of me. Seriously! I know, you all think I'm nuts... But really - I just knew that I couldn't handle the pain of delivery. (I am the biggest wimp around!) Maybe ignorance is bliss, but I never once considered the possibility of a C-section either. I went to the hospital to be induced telling my husband that I didn't have a clue how I was really going to give birth to our child.

Anyway... Being induced (not with Pitocin - can't remember the name of the drug) did not take and I sat around all day long waiting for something to happen. I had no labor pains at all and then my Dr. determined that my son was in distress so he ordered an emergency C-section that evening. They knocked me out, so I felt nothing! See? It all worked out! Of course, there was some pain when I woke up (and for a bit after that) but it was TOTALLY worth it when I finally got to see our baby boy!!

 

[swea_pea1]

I went to Lamaze classes when I was pregnant with DD. When they showed the childbirth movie.....honest to God, I fainted! At that point, even the Lamaze instructor said that I should consider drugs! I was induced using Cervidil (sp?) which apparently is better for first-time moms because it's more gradual. I had to have one dose on a Tuesday afternoon, stayed overnight at the hospital, came back on Thursday morning for the second dose, got the epidural at about 9:00 p.m. and had the baby on Friday at 1 a.m. I guess I was in labor for about 12 hours, but I only pushed for 20 minutes.

I got pregnant with DS after we moved here to Richmond, so I had a different OB. I had to schedule an induction because we had just moved here and I had nobody to watch my DD. My parents had to come from Pennsylvania so DH could be with me. I told my OB about my experience at Lamaze and with my first DD and he told me Cervidil wasn't appropriate for my second child. BUT, he would order the epidural before he pushed the Pitocin. So, I had no labor, and actually no pushing at all. I felt some mild pain and when the nurse checked me, she (honestly) told me to cross my legs until the OB came. When he did, it was one push and out came DS.

So, for me - it was very easy....but I've never done it (and never would) without drugs!

 

[aprilgail2]

Wow reading this thread made me even more grateful for my c-section! My water broke at 430, I got to the hospital and by 6 I had a daughter delivered by c-section under general anesthesia...woke up when it was all over. Didn't take any pain meds after it and was out shopping in the mall the day after I got out of the hospital. My daughter was only 5 pounds so no clothes I had fit her, I had to go out and buy a couple preemie outfits for her. If I ever was pregnant again I would prefer to have a c-section. From the day I was pregnant with my daughter I told the Dr I wanted a c-section and it just worked out that she was transverse breech so I got one! I never took lamaze or anything like that, I didn't want anyone in the room with me even if I had her naturally.

 

[gshoemate]

I was you!!! When we started talking about having children, my biggest issue was childbirth. It was the greatest experience of my life. And it saddens me to know that I will never go through it again. With my DD, I was in pre labor for weeks. Finally when I could no longer walk due to back labor, I was sent to the hospital to be induced. Less then 4 hours later with only a shot of medicine like demoral (can't remember the name, same effect, just without the side effects) she was born. With DS, I went into preterm labor, spent 7 weeks in the hospital and 14 weeks on bedrest and had to be induced again. After they broke my water, less then 3 hours he was born, with no medicine at all. I an odd person. I would rather go through childbirth without pain medication then have a needle stuck in me. I am terrified of needles. It will be one of the best things that will happen in your life. Any pain that you go through will be so worth it....just look at my pictures below...they were the best decision of my life.

 

[Mimi Q]

YES!

 

[missypie]

Reading the various posts made me realize what is different about Pitocin contrations (again, for me). Regular contractions are like the hands moving around a clock; the "discomfort" starts, gets more intense, peaks, then gets a lot less intense, then starts a little again, etc. Pitocin is more like climbing stairs...you don't get a break from the "discomfort" ever...the feeling is constant, until the next one comes that is harder, then that feeling is constant, until the next one comes that is harder.

The anesthesiologist is the Angel of Mercy...I bet no woman has ever asked "How much is this epidural going to cost?"

If you are called upon to make a decision about induction, however, don't let my post or the others scare you away from it. Find out how dialated you are. If you are already,say, 4, you can have the epidural very quickly and things should go smoothly.

As for being "out of it"...you're out of it because your mind is blown by all the pain! But remember it has an end. This isn't the 19th or early 20th century...you hear the "old wives" say "I was in labor with Junior for 4 days." Like it or not, that just doesn't happen at modern hospitals. You are strong enough to endure 24 hours or less of anything.

And as another person said, you'll be so glad to not be pregant. I was a week late with my 1st, who turned out to weigh 11 pounds (my pre-baby weight was 108), I'd have let them cut him out of me with no anesthesia and a rusy saw, just to make the pregnancy end.

I think I've posted 3 times on this thread but I never actually answered your question: I didn't find anything about the 3 births to be scary. I had confidence in the nurses, doctors and hospital, so no fear at all.

 

[Microcell]

Originally posted by Melissa R
I personally was too creeped out thinking about the procedure involved in getting an epidural."


Me too, but I was begging for the needle by the time the contractions got more intense! I don't recall it hurting to get a needle in the spine, or like I said, I was begging for it!

 

[theSurlyMermaid]

I was you!!! When we started talking about having children, my biggest issue was childbirth. It was the greatest experience of my life. And it saddens me to know that I will never go through it again. With my DD, I was in pre labor for weeks. Finally when I could no longer walk due to back labor, I was sent to the hospital to be induced.

How uncanny....the concept of back labor was introduced to me today! When I was talking about my friend who just delivered, I forgot to mention she said she was in back labor. I had no clue what that was!!! I was told that it adds a whole new dimension of pain to your spinal area? Is this correct?

Goodness, I thought I was pretty well versed (in the book sense) about what happens, but I had never heard of that.

MissyPie, your description of how a Pitocin contraction differs from a regular contraction is one of the most effective descriptions I've ever heard....about anything! I completely understand how the two contractions must differ, and the Pitocin one sounds way, way worse.

Also, to those who have posted pictures, I have never seen such lovely children! Keep it coming!

 

[pirateofthecarolinas]

My advice for the epidural is to be as still and quiet as possible. It helps the anesthesiologist to get you hooked up as quickly as possible. My BIL said it is very difficult for him to get women who are yelling and moving because of the pain.

I hate needles but I found that this went quickly if I was calm.

I forget to mention earlier that my husband was the scared one. I had to beg him to go through labor with me. He kept saying he couldn't stand to see me in pain. Only until I asked his best friend to be my coach did he agree. His best friend was thrilled to be asked and told my husband that he would be missing one of the best days of his life if he weren't with me when I had our baby.

With our second baby my husband was a pro. By our third he could have delivered him. Now he is the one calmly reassuring new fathers about having a great childbirth experience. I have to laugh.

Lori

 

[believe]

It is different for everyone and every delivery is different. My 2 deliveries and pregnancies were nothing alike.

 

[dianeschlicht]

Originally posted by believe
It is different for everyone and every delivery is different. My 2 deliveries and pregnancies were nothing alike.

I definitely agree with that statement. My first I was given demerol, and I vowed I would NEVER do that again! My baby was only 6 lbs. 8 oz, but they had to use forcepts, because they gave me the demerol too late, and I couldn't push enough. With the second, I vowed to NOT have meds, and he was the 10 lb 7 oz one. The delivery was a breeze except for the back labor and having to push for an hour while they turned him. Not really pain, just a bit of discomfort. Like everyone else has said though, it was all worth it in the end, and childbirth is far better than staying pregnant!

 

[Amy]

Yes, it IS scary and it IS painful, but it's worth it. The minute the baby comes out, the pain immediately stops. Both of my DSs were induced, took 2 days for each one. With our first, I tried to last as long as I could without an epidural, but I finally asked for it. Well, I had to wait until they found the doctor, he had to approve the epidural, then they had to find the anesthesiologist, he had to get set up, and then did it. Took almost another hour! My advice is whenever you get to contractions that feel pretty bad, ask for the epidural. Don't wait until you can't stand it any more, because you'll have to wait until the various doctors sign off on it!

 

[mickeyboat]

DD#1 was 6 weeks early and I was induced because my water had broken at 31 weeks. I agree with the description of contractions on Pitocin. I finally had an epidural (Thank God) which wore off but was increased. I delivered without much pain.

DD#2 was a different story. Real contractions didn't start until about 7:30PM. Before that I just felt gassy. By the time I got to the hospital I was fully dialated (9PM). The part that hurt the worst for me was when I was delivering her head. The midwife described it as a "ring of fire." That's what it felt like to. I kept saying "get this baby out of me!."

All the pain was gone after she came out. You just feel an overwhelming sense of relief, and happiness too.

Denae

 

[theSurlyMermaid]

Well, I decided I'm not quite ready for a baby yet. I purchased some books on the realities of childbirth, and have decided that I can't be ready because there are too many things I am not excited about...1. the weight gain (am seeing that weight loss after childbirth is very difficult...don't want the the sagging, stretched skin either. I know it's vain and I'm self-centered, but at least I'm admitting it to myself and not making myself miserable because I feel like I "should" be doing something I'm not 100% excited about. Also, I hate my body enough as it is...) 2. the no time for yourself afterwards factor...I am prone to mood swings and depression as it is and can't imagine what I would be like after all those hormonal swings. 3. just the financial realities of raising a baby....I still have alot of law school debt and I don't think the time is right now. I don't know if it would ever be right.

Oh well, at least I am being honest with myself.

 

[pirateofthecarolinas]

I wish more people would put this much thought into having children.

When it's time you will start feeling this tug at your heart when you see little babies and toddlers. You'll know!

Lori

 

[Catzeyes]

I have given birth and had kidney stones, lol I would rather give birth.

 

[twinmomplus2new]

I have 4 kids 3 pregnancys. My first DD I was 18, I asked for an epidural and was refused it. I was told I was too far along. I by the way wasn't. It was horrible 20 plus hours My tailbone was chipped. My DD was born with blue hands and feet from lack of oxygen to the extremties, They delivered her with forceps. I was told later my Doc had a policy of not giving medication to younger mom's because then they wouldn't be so qiuick to have another.
Needless to say Got a new doctor asap....
Second ds was having contractions for more than a week, finnally went in at 6am they started the pitocin, I was 3-4 centimeters, The Doc asked if I was ready For the epidural i said not quite yet, he said I am going for a cup of coffee, I will be back in 10 and we will get to it. WELL no joke 2 minutes later The baby literally popped out. No Doc, The nurse telling me I was mistaken it was not possible. UUUUmmm I think I can tell if a human head is coming out of me. Moral of the story a doc in another room caught him. No drugs, And I tell you boy was I mad! I said some bad things about wanting to know where the **** is the epidural. I was not nice about not having the benefit of it again.

When my twins were born. One was breech and they were early. They had recommened c-section. I was nervous even more so as my wonderful neighbor told me every single day not to have a c-section. And proceeded to tell me all kinds of horror and doom stories about hers. After one of these not helpful conversations another friend came over and told me this about her c-section experience. You know what it is a very civalized way to have a baby, no muss, no fuss. pick a date a time put on your make up and go have a baby or 2. I did have a c-section and it was so easy not a single issue, Yes, recovery was longer, If I had to pick either way to do it again, I probably would say c-section, But would do either with and EPIDURAL!

 

[theSurlyMermaid]

Originally posted by twinmomplus2new
I have 4 kids 3 pregnancys. My first DD I was 18, I asked for an epidural and was refused it. I was told I was too far along. I by the way wasn't. It was horrible 20 plus hours My tailbone was chipped. My DD was born with blue hands and feet from lack of oxygen to the extremties, They delivered her with forceps. I was told later my Doc had a policy of not giving medication to younger mom's because then they wouldn't be so qiuick to have another.

I have never been so incensed by anything as I am after reading this. How DARE they? Thank goodness you got another doctor...I would have reported that one to the medical board!!!

 

[Princess_Aurora]

I'm just going to ditto what everyone else has been saying. It's not going to be pain free. But the type of pain you feel depends on you. Labor is different for everyone, that's why no one can tell you exactly what it feels like. For me, during both my labors I didn't have any really unbearable contractions until the last maybe 30 minutes or so. To me, 30 minutes of pain is worth holding that little bundle of joy in my arms. No pain medication for me either. And if you are deathly afraid of needles, I know a lot of people (including myself) that purposely go through natural childbirth just to avoid the needles. Epidurals are scarey, I once saw a friend of mine get hers and I swore that I would never have anyone put a needle that big anywhere near my spine.

I think if you want a baby that badly, the fear of pain won't bother you so much. I do remember freaking out about a month before I gave birth to my first born. For some reason, it seems to hit you in the third trimester that you're not just going to have a baby...you're going to have to give birth to that baby. It's like, you've known that for nearly 9 months, but the realization of it starts kicking in and I think everyone gets scared. But it is pain that goes away as soon as they put that precious baby in your arms

and another thing...

there are too many things I am not excited about...1. the weight gain (am seeing that weight loss after childbirth is very difficult...don't want the the sagging, stretched skin either. I know it's vain and I'm self-centered, but at least I'm admitting it to myself and not making myself miserable because I feel like I "should" be doing something I'm not 100% excited about. Also, I hate my body enough as it is...) 2. the no time for yourself afterwards factor...I am prone to mood swings and depression as it is and can't imagine what I would be like after all those hormonal swings. 3. just the financial realities of raising a baby....I still have alot of law school debt and I don't think the time is right now. I don't know if it would ever be right.

Not to talk you into it, but I want you to know a couple of things. 1. The faster you gain weight the faster you lose it. Therefore, the easiest weight to lose is weight from pregnancy. I'm not saying that it is easy, but if a good diet and exercise you can be back to prepregnancy weight relatively quickly. Also, you never know. You could be one of those people that I hate that seem to just snap right back down to their regular size the day after giving birth. Errrrr. Stretch marks can be easily avoided also. Get vitamin E lotion and rub it on your chest, belly and butt (all the hot spots for stretch marks.) With my first born, I thought I wasn't getting any stretch marks at all until after she was born I saw my butt and realized that's where they all went
2. Depression is really bad for some people and nonexistant with others after childbirth. With my first, it was horrible. With my second, it didn't exist. A good thing to do is have a babysitter...someone that will watch your baby whenever you need...a loving grandmother prehaps that wants to spend time with her brand new grandbaby. Have your husband take you out weekly. Being able to get away after having a baby is priceless. It's even more priceless if grandma is willing to have the baby spend the night every so often
3. I think if everyone waited until the "perfect" time to have a baby, the world would be very under populated. I really don't think there is ever a perfect time. There will always be bills to pay in this world. Sure, having a baby adds some extra bills, but you learn to deal. If I hadn't have gotten pregnant with my second one by accident, I would probably still be waiting for DH to tell me we're ready to have a second one. Sure we were scared to death about not being able to afford it, but I think we really surprised ourselves because it wasn't the financial crisis we thought it would be. We even managed to take the family to Disney World when DS was only 5 months old.

So if you're really feeling that "gotta have a baby" feeling, those are just some extra things to consider about your worries.