OK, super embarrassing, but so funny! AKA:The Fart Thread

[Disney1fan2002]

OK, I am still giggling. Yes, I am the 37 yo who still laughs at "fart" jokes in movies.

This morning, I am out running some errands. I call Dh to see if he wants me to pick up lunch.The cell phone battery dies on me. So I use the phone feature I have with On-Star. I hit the white button, and the female voice says "On-Star ready" JUST as she is saying that, I pass some gas. Since it was only me in the car, I didn't hold back, of you know what I mean. The voice immediately says "good bye" and hangs up!!!!

OMG, I was laughing so hard, I had tears. I am sure if the computer knew how to say "how rude" it would of!

 

[luvflorida]

Okay, this has got to be one of the funniest things I've read in a long time!!!

I just turned fifty and I STILL find farts hilarious!!! I know it's juvenile, but I can't help it. Even my kids make fun of me because I laugh hysterically whenever something like you just described happens.

OMG! I'm still laughing out loud!!

There used to be a clip of some commercial where a guy is taking a girl on a first date, or something like that. It shows him opening the passenger side door for the girl to get in the car. He shuts the door, then walks around the back of the car to get in the driver's seat. While he is doing that, the girl decides it would be a good time to pass some gas, nice and loud. What she fails to realize is that there is anothe couple in the backseat of the car!!

The guy gets in the driver's seat and proceeds to introduce the girl to the couple in the back seat. It's hysterical!!!

 

[Regina]

Okay, this has got to be one of the funniest things I've read in a long time!!!

I just turned fifty and I STILL find farts hilarious!!! I know it's juvenile, but I can't help it. Even my kids make fun of me because I laugh hysterically whenever something like you just described happens.

OMG! I'm still laughing out loud!!

There used to be a clip of some commercial where a guy is taking a girl on a first date, or something like that. It shows him opening the passenger side door for the girl to get in the car. He shuts the door, then walks around the back of the car to get in the driver's seat. While he is doing that, the girl decides it would be a good time to pass some gas, nice and loud. What she fails to realize is that there is anothe couple in the backseat of the car!!

The guy gets in the driver's seat and proceeds to introduce the girl to the couple in the back seat. It's hysterical!!!

I still like to remind DH of the time when we were dating. We got back to my house after a date. He was being a "gentleman" and walked around to open my car door. Meanwhile, he was letting them fly. I had to break the news to him that his car wasn't soundproof.

 

[Rowena]

Oh thank you for sharing! I needed a laugh today.

I wonder if the programmers played with other rude noises as an off switch as well...

(Are you sure it was a computer? I've seen those commercials, and they lead me to think you actually talk to a real person, at least at some point....)

 

[CookieGVB]

I found this funny, too. Of course my 12 year old son will LOVE it.

 

[Disney1fan2002]

Oh thank you for sharing! I needed a laugh today.

I wonder if the programmers played with other rude noises as an off switch as well...

(Are you sure it was a computer? I've seen those commercials, and they lead me to think you actually talk to a real person, at least at some point....)

No, this is the phone feature, so it is a computer. the "blue" button is the On-Star service call, that rings and a real person picks up. But the phone(white button) is all computer generated.

 

[imsorry]

One time when we were at Disney, we were out on our balcony one night, overlooking one of the entrance doors to the lobby of the Beach Club. This couple came up the path, he opened the door for her, and after she went in, he let loose really loud before following her into the lobby. We were dying laughing - guess he didn't think anyone would hear it!

 

[luvflorida]

:rotfl2

(Are you sure it was a computer? I've seen those commercials, and they lead me to think you actually talk to a real person, at least at some point....)

OMG!!!! This would make it even funnier!!!!

BTW, every time I even think about it, I break up laughing. The only one home with me is the cat. He was sitting on the windowsill by my computer but just took off for another room. He's had enough of me!

 

[luvflorida]

I still like to remind DH of the time when we were dating. We got back to my house after a date. He was being a "gentleman" and walked around to open my car door. Meanwhile, he was letting them fly. I had to break the news to him that his car wasn't soundproof.

THAT is funny! Just the opposite of the commercial I was talking about!! This thread is killing me!!!

 

[Disney1fan2002]

OMG!!!! This would make it even funnier!!!!

BTW, every time I even think about it, I break up laughing. The only one home with me is the cat. He was sitting on the windowsill by my computer but just took off for another room. He's had enough of me!

I am so happy to know I made someone's day a little brighter! LOL

 

[BostonTigger]

OMG! Thanks for the laugh. I really needed that.

 

[luvflorida]

I am so happy to know I made someone's day a little brighter! LOL

HaHa!! If something really makes me laugh, all I have to do is think about it and I'll find it funny all over again!

This thread reminded me of the time my family and I were eating lunch at a restaurant and there was a guy and a girl at a nearby table. The guy picked up the ketchup bottle and proceeded to squirt ketchup on his burger. It was one of those old-fashioned red, plastic ketchup bottles and when he squeezed the bottle, it made a very loud noise that sounded exactly like a fart. He never missed a beat in his conversation with the girl and acted like nothing had happened.

Well, my kids and husband just about froze in their seats while they looked at me. I started to snort and snicker and I tried everything I could to keep from laughing out loud. I was shaking in my seat and the tears were streaming down my face. My oldest daughter started laughing just from looking at me. The waitress picked that moment to come over to our table and ask us if everything was okay. Well, I really lost it then!

If someone else had snickered or laughed, it wouldn't have been as bad, but everyone else around us acted like they didn't hear it. I mean, you could have heard it in the next room!

 

[Poohbear123]

First Dachshund, Pee-wee, he would sleep in the bed between us, and one night my DH let out a good one. Well, Pee-wee started barking, ran OUT from under the covers, out of the room, to the front door, barking ALL the way! I said "he is going to be ONE dissapointed dog when he finds out he was barking over a fart!"

 

[mamaprincess]

I had to share this with my kids, they loved it!

My DH fell asleep on the couch one night. I came down in the middle of the night to put a diaper in the garbage. I hadn't turned on the light and I am a very quiet walker. He rips the loudest most ignorant fart in the history of our lives together. He was so sure he was alone until I turned on the light. The look on his face was so hysterical I laughed so hard, I almost farted myself.

 

[lovetheparks]

I am cracking up at all these! How funny

 

[luvflorida]

He rips the loudest most ignorant fart in the history of our lives together. He was so sure he was alone until I turned on the light. The look on his face was so hysterical I laughed so hard, I almost farted myself.

Okay, I literally have tears streaming down my face, my glasses are wet and I can hardly see to type!!!!!

 

[SleepyMom]

I said "he is going to be ONE dissapointed dog when he finds out he was barking over a fart!"

Ok, the rest of the thread is hilarious, but this one really got me

 

[ilovedale3]

Thanks for all of these!

I am one of those people who thinks that a fart is the funniest thing ever! If something even remotely sounds like a fart, I lose control (like the ketchup bottle incident). So needless to say, my stomach is now hurting from laughing at these stories!

 

[Kermit]

LOL!

Once when my sister was about 13, we were out shopping, and she got bored and so went out to the car all by herself. She was sitting in there and realized she had some gas, and because she didn't want the car to be stinky when we came back, she opened the door just enough to stick her bottom out of the car and direct it outside. She said that after she had done her deed, she noticed a group of four men in suits walking across the parking lot who had witnessed the whole thing. She said they were all cracking up laughing.

 

[Pooh_Friend#1]

I am another one that laughs at farts and I have a great story. My boyfriend at the time (now ex), my brother in law, my sister and I were all camping. The first day my ex was getting the fire ready and the flames were huge, the rest of us were sitting around by the fire and my ex turned around, bent down and farted while we was picking some more wood up (I was picturing in my head the scene from Dumb and Dumber). It was so LOUD, and he didn't laugh, didn't even crack a smile and I could not control my laughter while he just kept on putting the wood in the fire acting like nothing happened. I had tears streaming down my face and he asks me what was so funny. Obviously he did not think farts were very funny.