Ok so it's time to ask for help...I need help.

[bsusanmb]

SO for 15 months you have been going at it. How tough was it at first to change - did you ever lapse or what? A tough thing for me is that my kids are older (15, 13, and 11) and they wanna go to the movies with friends or go here and there and now I have to say, "sorry we can't afford it" whereas before I would just dish out the money and let them go. I never gave them more than they needed for a ticket, beverage and snack but now I am accountable to my dh. If he saw that I gave them money when we have $______ of debt he would pretty much go through the roof. How did you handle those situations when you were first starting? I find myself feeling bad telling my kids no when they don't really do much to begin with.

Yuck! I know we go ourselves here but yuck!

It was very difficult, and even more difficult for me to admit to myself that I had issues. I can't say no to my grown children and grandchildren. So I am at a point where I should be retiring, but now I am raising our 3 year old grandson, paying for daycare, clothes etc, and I am a toy fanatic. So, I have had my lapses, and my DH would get very upset with me and yell, STOP SPENDING MONEY!!! I did explain to my adult children how in debt I was and that they would no longer be free vacations to WDW, etc. I really scaled back on presents at Christmas and birthdays. Lots of popcorn and movies on the tv. It is very difficult, but now that I am into this, it has gotten better. Everytime I look at the apprisen website and see how much debt I have paid off, and accounts that are now closed, I feel so good about it. DH just says, yea, well, you had no business spending that much to begin with and then I remind him that this was a huge burden I carried for years and now I am doing what I should have done. I will admit to you that twice we refinance our house and paid off all the debt, and I ran it back up again. This time I vowed not to do that. I am sure that people will read this and judge me, but hey, I am human and we all have crosses to bear. This is mine. I think that you should talk to your kids, and explain money to them. My parents NEVER discussed money with me and I attribute a lot of my mess to their lack of educating me. I would hear my mom negotiating paying only the interest on the mortgage, and calling the bank to stop bad checks from being returned, and I learned that from her. My dad was the one with the spending problems. He never asked my mom how much money they had, if he wanted it, he got it. And this isn't something that I was taught in school. I would have preferred this to calculus that I never ever used. I have a book that I keep with all of my debt in it and every month I write in it how far I am now. I have one cc with only $1000 limit and I pay it off at the end of every month. I use it to make on line payments and have not had one interest payment in 15 months. It is my Chase Disney Visa, and I earn Disney money with it. I try to stay on a cash only basis for groceries, etc so that I am not tempted to go overboard. I have almost all of the monthly bills taken directly out of my checking, but it took almost a year to do that. I was always afraid I would end up robbing Peter to pay Paul, but then I decided I MUST pay these things first. Every day is a struggle and I know my weaknesses. I know what works for me, but we are all different.
Hope this helps. When I think of all the debt I paid, and how this company has negotiated for me, and when there have been issues, they take care of them, the $25 a month I pay them is more than worth it.

 

[bsusanmb]

On purpose I didn't pay the June PNC and HSBC - I thought if I showed late (not 30 days but enuf days that they started to call me daily) that they would see we needed help. YA RIGHT! They didn't care. It's funny HSBC wanted to settle with us for less than what we owed in total but they wouldn't accept a lesser monthly payment with a lower intrest rate - I thought that was totally stupid. I just got an email from them saying my payment is late and there are payment programs available to help us. Again YA RIGHT! been there, done that. If I go past 30 days late my late fees rack up and maybe even go higher than 24.99%. I don't want to chance it. I guess I will just pay them off first chance.

HSBC did work with me, but like you know already, you have to be x number of months behind. I had to do it, and my balances were much higher than I wanted them, but they give you no choice. I demanded to speak with a supervisor eventually. I was put in a hardship program. The accounts were closed, and the interest rate was dropped to 9%. Once you pay 3 months in a row, they re age your account and make it up to date. But I turned all that over to Apprisen and they wrote letters to everyone for me. The creditors actually sent me letters telling me that this was a good step and that Consumer Credit Counseling or Apprisen as they are now known is one of the best. They are in business over 50 years.

 

[VictoriaT]

I just wanted to send you wishes, hugs and pixie dust!

As a fellow Michigander, I know how tough things are here! You can do it, and remember we are all here for you!

 

[mousefanmichelle]

I just wanted to send you wishes, hugs and pixie dust!

As a fellow Michigander, I know how tough things are here! You can do it, and remember we are all here for you!

Awwww thanks!!! Today I could use some pixiedust for sure! It's darn hard not to spend money lol!!!!

Yes, Michigan is tough, and I am glad to be working (I see you live in RH. I work in your neighborhood (kinda) at Beaumont). Small world isn't it?!

 

[Duckiedee]

OP - for your kids who want spending money - I would totally encourage them to find part time work - even if just babysitting or mowing lawns, shovelling etc... the work is there if they look for it. And it's a great lesson in spending and saving.

 

[Motherofboys]

Another Michigander here sending you positive thoughts and hugs

I know how hard it is too, we were married young and I watched my parents live paycheck to paycheck for years. So that's what we did too. Running up credit cards to pay for clothes, eating out, etc - because we deserved it and we were used to it

It has been a long road out. Things are still tight now b/c we are a one income family. We have chosen that path b/c we feel it is right for our kids. But it is really tough when you are surrounded by two income family, friends, that all seem to have more and be able to do more.

Especially with the kids, that is super hard. My older boys all seem to gravitate towards friends who are well off and who's parents never say no. I have never been so grateful for a friend, until my DS14 recently made a friend who's parents are like us - now he knows that not EVERYONE gets everything they want all of the time!

And saying no, to kids, to your spouse - it's hard. And it can make you feel bad, like you should be able to do more - that's the hardest part for me.

But in the long run I know it is what is best for my family.

 

[VictoriaT]

Awwww thanks!!! Today I could use some pixiedust for sure! It's darn hard not to spend money lol!!!!

Yes, Michigan is tough, and I am glad to be working (I see you live in RH. I work in your neighborhood (kinda) at Beaumont). Small world isn't it?!

Troy Beaumont? It is a small world! I work in Troy, myself. With traffic the way it's been I don't know how you do the drive! I would go crazy!

I guess we should count ourselves lucky that we do have jobs.

 

[VictoriaT]

Motherof boys, I don't know how you do it either! I've looked at trying to be a SAHM, but the budget just does not allow for that.

 

[mousefanmichelle]

Troy Beaumont? It is a small world! I work in Troy, myself. With traffic the way it's been I don't know how you do the drive! I would go crazy!

I guess we should count ourselves lucky that we do have jobs.

Troy Beaumont - that's the place

The drive is slowly killing me. Everyday is a 10 hour adventure and it is exhausting. I have been looking at houses closer to my work and dh's work (Pontiac) because I would be willing to move in a heartbeat. I love the country as far as no neighbors ontop of me BUT that DRIVE!!! Especially with M-59 like it is - UGH!

 

[LovableGluttons]

I was wondering how your journey was going! Thank you for the updates!

My son is 14 and my daughter is 11. They each get $20 a week. They can buy lunch at school with it, save it, blow it on junk, or throw it away.

The catch? They have set chores they are responsible for. DH and I will not take up any slack, so their job GROWS if they don't stay on top of it.

If they want a new video game or iTunes card, they have to buy it and cannot ask DH nor I for extra money.

That's $1040 a year for each of them.


There are plenty of things here for them to make a lunch with for school or to be entertained without spending money of they choose to save it.


DH and I are paying for 4 years of tuition, books, and fees for their Bachelor's degrees. Here in Florida, if they get a Bright Futures scholarship which can pay up to 100%, they can use the money we saved for grad school or split it with us if they stop at 4 years.

We have family budget meetings and all four of us go over savings, retirement, bills, cash flow, all of it. They are used to it.

My son thinks it is great to live like this.

My daughter thinks it isn't cool and doesn't always understand why her friends have nicer cars, go shopping more often, and so on. Her friends won't have their college education paid for nor parents who are set for retirement without Social Security.

Michelle, stay on course, you can do it!

 

[mousefanmichelle]

I was wondering how your journey was going! Thank you for the updates!

My son is 14 and my daughter is 11. They each get $20 a week. They can buy lunch at school with it, save it, blow it on junk, or throw it away.

The catch? They have set chores they are responsible for. DH and I will not take up any slack, so their job GROWS if they don't stay on top of it.

If they want a new video game or iTunes card, they have to buy it and cannot ask DH nor I for extra money.

That's $1040 a year for each of them.


There are plenty of things here for them to make a lunch with for school or to be entertained without spending money of they choose to save it.


DH and I are paying for 4 years of tuition, books, and fees for their Bachelor's degrees. Here in Florida, if they get a Bright Futures scholarship which can pay up to 100%, they can use the money we saved for grad school or split it with us if they stop at 4 years.

We have family budget meetings and all four of us go over savings, retirement, bills, cash flow, all of it. They are used to it.

My son thinks it is great to live like this.

My daughter thinks it isn't cool and doesn't always understand why her friends have nicer cars, go shopping more often, and so on. Her friends won't have their college education paid for nor parents who are set for retirement without Social Security.

Michelle, stay on course, you can do it!

Honestly, Loveable, it is hard work and I am frustrated. I feel like I am trying to take the right steps forward but I just seem to slide backwards. My biggest thing is the stupid grocery store. I just don't get it. I am not buying junk food - no chips, no cookies, no pop, no nothing just the food we are going to eat for meals and my bill is over the top. Maybe I am not being generous enuf. I am pretty much giving myself $50 a week during the middle weeks of the month (remember I have a freezer full of beef so I am not buying beef at the store) and $75-100 during the first and last week of the month. I am blowing past that $50 and onto $100 at least a week no matter what. I am cooking every day and trust me when I say it is nothing fancy. I don't know. I stopped getting the Sunday paper because it was a waste of money as I wasn't getting enuf coupons out of it. What am I doing wrong here?

As far as the CC's. HSBC still won't work with us. I talked to their hardship dept on Sunday night and we are too in debt for them to help us is basically what they said. I did not pay June's bill and now I have not paid July's bill. In all of my years of manageing our credit I have never not made a payment and this is literally making me sick to my stomach. My dh and I are at a loss. We tell them where we stand financially and I even went as far as to say that my other creditors (Chase) worked with us without all of this red tape and they said... Sorry call us back when you have less debt. WHAT?????

So any more suggestions out there?

BTW - we are having our garage sale this weekend - I am excited to see what kind of money we pull in. Problem is my van's headlights are not working so I am sure the money we make will be going right towards fixing my van. One step forward, 20 steps backwards....

 

[LovableGluttons]

You might not be budgeting enough for groceries.

Prices do fluctuate, so it is always nice to have a bit of cushion that you can stock up on something you find cheap that your family will use.


Have you tried eBay or coupon trading boards for your coupons? I don't buy always buy the Sunday paper for mine, I get most of mine off eBay.

Our Publix had deodorant on sale this week BOGOF. There were coupons in the Sunday paper that were also BOGOF, making them free. I read the sneak peek a couple of days before the sale begins so I have enough time to order my coupons and have them arrive before the sale ends.

I ended up with 24 deodorants for a paltry $2.99 I paid for the coupons on eBay and I still have 8 more coupons (16 deodorants) to use by tomorrow morning. I won't have to buy it for a year for the 4 of us. $3!


Michelle, if you and your family can pull this off and get this debt paid off, you can do anything! It's a fantastic goal to work towards.

Is there anyway to get the HSBC caught up and have them remove the late fees?

Please post and let us know how your garage sale goes too!

 

[tinker&belle]

Honestly, Loveable, it is hard work and I am frustrated. I feel like I am trying to take the right steps forward but I just seem to slide backwards. My biggest thing is the stupid grocery store. I just don't get it. I am not buying junk food - no chips, no cookies, no pop, no nothing just the food we are going to eat for meals and my bill is over the top. Maybe I am not being generous enuf. I am pretty much giving myself $50 a week during the middle weeks of the month (remember I have a freezer full of beef so I am not buying beef at the store) and $75-100 during the first and last week of the month. I am blowing past that $50 and onto $100 at least a week no matter what. I am cooking every day and trust me when I say it is nothing fancy. I don't know. I stopped getting the Sunday paper because it was a waste of money as I wasn't getting enuf coupons out of it. What am I doing wrong here?

As far as the CC's. HSBC still won't work with us. I talked to their hardship dept on Sunday night and we are too in debt for them to help us is basically what they said. I did not pay June's bill and now I have not paid July's bill. In all of my years of manageing our credit I have never not made a payment and this is literally making me sick to my stomach. My dh and I are at a loss. We tell them where we stand financially and I even went as far as to say that my other creditors (Chase) worked with us without all of this red tape and they said... Sorry call us back when you have less debt. WHAT?????

So any more suggestions out there?

BTW - we are having our garage sale this weekend - I am excited to see what kind of money we pull in. Problem is my van's headlights are not working so I am sure the money we make will be going right towards fixing my van. One step forward, 20 steps backwards....

I think $50 would be difficult, even with beef covered. By the time I buy two gallons of milk, grapes and bananas I have spent $10. Usually for beef receipes you need at least a few other ingredients in the $2-3 range.

Let's say it averages 2.50 for each supper since you have the meat covered.

10.00 milk/basic fruit
17.50 ingredients to finish beef recipes

That comes to 27.50 (just using the basic, inexpensive fruit we always buy in the summer for example's sake.)

That leaves you 33.50 to cover breakfast, lunches, sides for the dinners (bags of salads, veggie steamers, etc.) and snacks.

I am all for grocery budgeting, but maybe see if you could build a little more slack in for groceries. I was getting frustrated and then we raised the amount to an amount that was a little challenging but more do-able. I almost always come within 2-3 dollars higher or lower now through couponing and meal planning.

Another thing that helped was when I made my list was to estimate the cost of the item and that helped keep the list to the things I really needed or the things I was planning on stocking up on. I tend to stock up on 1-2 loss leaders each week too which keeps the whole budget easier to keep.

 

[Grumpy's Gal]

please don't flame me -- I read most of the thread and not all -- have you tried Angel Food Ministry boxes? I have several people who get food from there.

Also -- looking forward -- a garden can be a huge food money saver. Grow tomatoes, cucumbers, green beans, peppers, lettuce, carrots, potatoes, EASILY! and it's a way your kids can help!

 

[mousefanmichelle]

please don't flame me -- I read most of the thread and not all -- have you tried Angel Food Ministry boxes? I have several people who get food from there.

Also -- looking forward -- a garden can be a huge food money saver. Grow tomatoes, cucumbers, green beans, peppers, lettuce, carrots, potatoes, EASILY! and it's a way your kids can help!

Hi There Grumpy's Gal - I haven't seen Angel Food Ministry around my area and I don't really know what it is. So, what is it?

And yes to the garden for next year. I can't wait to grow my own veggies!!! My dh helps a farmer out in our area and he just gave us some zuccini this week and said he will have tons of other veggies coming our way. That will help for sure!

 

[NeverlandClub23]

I buy coupons off of www.couponsthingsbydede.com. I go through the paper and see what's on sale at which stores then either look for printable coupons online (if the stores take them) or go on ebay or DeDe's website and purchase a lot of coupons to use while the items are on a good sale (especially non-perishable items).

When the budget's really tight (it's just me to feed) I make pancakes/waffles for dinner or have spicy red beans and rice in the crockpot. I cook almost all of my meals but I can definitely go over my meager food budget by making meals that require more than just a few cheap ingredients. Once you're in a better position financially you can have more elaborate/healthier meals than pancakes, etc. (although some people feel like you shouldn't sacrifice the veggies/fruit but it's not forever [although you can usually find some great coupons/sales on frozen veggies]).

 

[bettymae1121]

Grocery prices all over the country are different. Many posters here live in areas that you can feed a dozen people on $75 a week (or it seems like it at least!) but in other parts of the country, it's much more expensive. The best I can do for DH and I (just the two of us) is $75 a week. That's eating chicken, rice/potatos/pasta for statches, in season veggies, and fresh in season fruit, plus a few of the other usual stapples. I don't buy junk food, cereal, pop, or alcohol, and that doesn't include paper or cleaning products. I cook just about everything from scratch, from pancakes to pizza. My only "luxery" is coffee ($8 a pound so nothing over the top) and jugs of ice tea and lemondade I buy to drink. We don't buy bottled water, we have a PUR filter on the kitchen faucet.

I won't sacrifice eating healthy in order to lower our grocery bill, which is what it would take to get it any lower (I could do it for less than $50 a week if all we ate was hot dogs and mac n cheese, which by the way would suit DH just fine!). If it was a choice between a house payment and food that would be different, but I'd rather save money in other areas before cutting the grocery budget to the bare bones.

 

[Motherofboys]

My grocery budget ($150/wk) gets frustrating at times too, I always think I should be spending less...but then I heard a story on NPR and a family of 4 was getting $600 a month in food stamps and still going to food pantries by month's end b/c they were running out of food!!

So cut yourself some slack

Meal planning, more "from scratch" cooking, shopping sales, eating seasonally, combining electronic coupons/paper coupons with sales (shortcuts.com and the Kroger site), those are all the things that help us feed 6 1/2 people for $150 a week. And we eat really well, lots of fresh fruits and veggies (whatever is in season though, we aren't buying apples at $3 a pound), chicken breast, salmon, ground turkey, etc. We don't eat steaks or crab more than a couple of times a year, but I think we'll live

A lot of people that i know that struggle with their grocery budgets have set things they "have" to buy - like apples all year round, babyback ribs, etc or they are shopping at the wrong stores and not shopping sales (Meijer and Walmart prices do NOT beat Kroger sales prices) - so maybe check into one of those?

Good luck

 

[dislvr74]

I thought that I was doing really well on $150/week for food and household supplies for our family of four, then I discovered the grocery game! Now I spend less than $100/week and I just got started. Once I have a larger stockpile, I expect to save even more. The grocery game offers a free four week trial and my plan to to use it until I really learn the system. After that, I will probably drop my subscription, although the cost is really reasonable so I might just keep it and let someone else do the work of matching coupons to sales.

I used to think that using coupons was a waste of time because store brands were generally still cheaper. It just never occurred to me to hold onto the coupons until the items were on sale. I also used to make my weekly shopping list based on what I thought sounded good for dinner that week. Now I look at the sale list first and then make my menu. For example, this week Meijer has tomato sauce, diced tomatoes, and ground chuck on sale. I also have coupons to use on those items. I'll buy more than what I need for the week, but we will have pasta one night and a ground beef casserole that uses diced tomatoes on another night. I still have chicken in the freezer from when that was on sale and we'll eat that one night.

It's taken me a few weeks to accumulate a good stockpile of coupons and I'm still building up my pantry, but I can already see a difference.

 

[mousefanmichelle]

Hi everyone - I just wanted to update you on my garage sale. I had it from Friday until Sunday of this past weekend and I didn't do very well. I made $100.00. Things just didn't sell. I had an airhockey table, Little Tykes picnic table, lots of kids books, games, holiday decorations, kitchen stuff (plates, pots/pans), kids bikes, an old Singer anitque sewing machine. I am disappointed. I thought it was reasonable priced - I took someones suggestion of 20% of retail and even went lower than that. I think I might have to Ebay this stuff, but I am not online so I don't even know how that can work. I am online at work only.

I really thought I would do better than $100 bucks.

Michelle