OK - now it is my turn for help with a shower gift :)

[clh2]

OK - this is the situation. A former co-worker is pregnant. She left my company 5 years ago. I'll call her "Bri".

Bri is not married, and knows that her mother or any of her relatvies will not be throwing a shower for her. Same goes with the baby's dad. So, "Bri" decides that she should throw a shower for herself. "Bri" is still pretty good friends with "Debbie", who I do still work with. Debbie informs Bri, that it is in the poorest taste to throw a shower, so Debbie decides to throw one in her honor. The shower is supposed to be an afternoon tea, and invites went mostly to the people working at the same time Bri was working at our company.

Now - I have the perfect excuse to not be at the shower. I simply do not want to go, but I do have other things going on that day. I could work around my other obligations, I am choosing not to. Debbie understands my personal commitments right now, so there will be no hard feelings if I do not go to the shower.

I do feel, however, that it is politically correct to give a present to the mother-to-be. Debbie will be in a "snit" at work if I do not. I do not care to damage a work relationship over something like this.

I looked at Bri's registery, and OMGI can't beleive how expensive the things that Bri and Debbie picked out are. I wouldn't mind spending $20 or $25 on this gift, however, they picked things that are "cutesy" with big pirce tags, instead of things that are functional.

I will also say, I find giving diapers for a shower gift absolutely disgusting - just a personal thing, so regardless of what i give it will not be diapers.

Bri was terribly upset she is having a boy, but that is what she is having.

I generally try to stay with what the registries list, but even the "baby bathtub they picked out is $35, as oposed to a functional one that would be $18. The light for the dresser is $45. The stroller/car set combo is $269. She signed up for a bunch of baby Einstein stuff that is in the $50 to $60 range. The baby swing is over $100, so is the high chair.

If I didn't feel like getting a present was politically correct I would just blow this off. THis whole thing just smacks of a gift grab, and I usually do not endorse those. I am not friends with this former coworker.

Should I just do a $20 or $25 giftcard. It just seems like so little thought goes into that, for a shower gift. I usually like to give baby books to new mothers, but I'm not even that inclined to hit the mall (which is hwere the closest Barnes and Noble is) and I just do not want to drive 30 miles to that mall.

What to do...what to do???
What is the win/win here???

Again, I do need to be PC here

Thanks all!

 

[DisneyMomx7]

Give the gift card or an outfit for the baby.

BTW - I have to ask, why do you feel giving diapers is disgusting. When my dd had her baby shower she was overjoyed with the gifts of diapers (and other baby products like wipes) in different sizes. Sure comes in handy.

 

[Luvchefmic]

I would pick up a little cute outfit (which will probably be way less than $25.00) and call it a day...I would do this because (as you talking here)

I'm not friends with her

Debbie would be in a snit

and finally its the thought of the baby...period...I wouldn't buy into this little Princesses' wish list at all

 

[clh2]

Give the gift card or an outfit for the baby.

BTW - I have to ask, why do you feel giving diapers is disgusting. When my dd had her baby shower she was overjoyed with the gifts of diapers (and other baby products like wipes) in different sizes. Sure comes in handy.

I know the diapers are useful. Maybe "disgusting" was too harsh of a word. I generally prefer to give a gift that people will remember me for a while. I.e. I gave one of my cousins a book "But Not the Hippopotumus" at her baby shower. My cousin STILL talks about that book, as it was favorite of her daughter's. The book was taped together many times until it practically disintegrated. Diapers are gone in a couple of days, leaving no lasting "wow" impression of a gift. Her daughter is now in kindergarten, the book is long gone, but the book is still a favorite memory of a gift she got at the shower. I have given other books at showers too, and the recipients have really liked them. I literally do not have time to get to the mall, since I am coaching a high school team that is going to a national level of competition in a couple of weeks. So- if we aren't practicing, we are doing rundraising. So - a book option is out.

 

[golfgal]

Give the gift card or an outfit for the baby.

BTW - I have to ask, why do you feel giving diapers is disgusting. When my dd had her baby shower she was overjoyed with the gifts of diapers (and other baby products like wipes) in different sizes. Sure comes in handy.

I agree, with all your references at to the functionality of the things she has picked out diapers would be a GREAT gift for you to give but since you don't like that, pick out a cute outfit for this little boy and send that. There is nothing holding you to getting something on the registry.

 

[chloelovesdisney]

For $20 - $25 you can get some very cute onesies. Those prices you listed are not outrageous at all but since it is more than you want to spend on someone that's not a good friend and just a former coworker there's absolutely no need to stick to the registry.

I never get diapers either, blech. Fine if it's a very young or broke mom to be, but never for anyone else.

 

[taylor3297]

I would get a gift card for where she is registered. This way whatever she doesn't get from the registry she can use the gift card towards one of the items.

 

[chloelovesdisney]

If you get an outfit don't get newborn or 3 months, total waste.

 

[Nancyg56]

It sounds like you are not really friendly with her so I would just get her a gift card to the store she is registered at. Spend the amount you have decided works within your budget adn let it go.

 

[englishteacha]

Can't you get a kid's book at a place like Walmart or Target, or even at the grocery store? I know around here that's where I'd get a book if I couldn't get to the mall.

 

[kaytieeldr]

I usually like to give baby books to new mothers, but I'm not even that inclined to hit the mall (which is hwere the closest Barnes and Noble is) and I just do not want to drive 30 miles to that mall.

So simple bn.com or borders.com. Free shipping with $25+ order. You never have to leave the house, and the selection is MUCH better online!

A registry should be a suggestion, not a command. Get what YOU want. If she doesn't appreciate it, she's a brat - a Momzilla, if you will

 

[johnsontrio]

But Not The Hippopotamus is my favorite baby gift! Closely followed by Barnyard Dance. If you have a TJMaxx or Marshall's close by they usually have copies of those Boynton books. You could get a book and a soft plush toy and call it a day.

 

[wdwfan16]

I would give a GC to the store she registered at.

 

[OceanAnnie]

So simple bn.com or borders.com. Free shipping with $25+ order. You never have to leave the house, and the selection is MUCH better online!

A registry should be a suggestion, not a command. Get what YOU want. If she doesn't appreciate it, she's a brat - a Momzilla, if you will

You always crack me up, Kaytieeldr! But truer words have not been typed!

I would probably just get a nice outfit, maybe 6-9 months and call it a day. But if you really want to give a GC, that's totally acceptable too. Stay in your price range. A $20-$25 GC is a nice gift! If she doesn't like it tough cookies.

 

[worm761]

If you get an outfit don't get newborn or 3 months, total waste.

Just wanted to say....not always a was! DD is 5 months old and still in 0-3 months. I am actually worried that she won't be able to wear any of the 6-9 month outfits because she is so small. Her 0-3's are still swimming on her. She weighed almost 8 pounds when she was born but is only 13 pounds now. I had to go buy summer clothes in 0-3 since she only had winter clothes in that size.

Anyway, buy what you want. A gift is a gift. She should be grateful for any that she is given. Especially if you aren't still friends with her. Though I do have to say, I always give a package of diapers along with whatever I want to give.
As for the price of gifts on the registry....well, when we made our registry we didn't expect people to buy the big things but put them on the registry because a lot of places will give you a discount on anything on your registry that is not bought for your baby shower. I really just wanted the discount, not for someone to buy it for me.

 

[barkley]

Just wanted to say....not always a was! DD is 5 months old and still in 0-3 months. I am actually worried that she won't be able to wear any of the 6-9 month outfits because she is so small. Her 0-3's are still swimming on her. She weighed almost 8 pounds when she was born but is only 13 pounds now. I had to go buy summer clothes in 0-3 since she only had winter clothes in that size.

Anyway, buy what you want. A gift is a gift. She should be grateful for any that she is given. Especially if you aren't still friends with her. Though I do have to say, I always give a package of diapers along with whatever I want to give.
As for the price of gifts on the registry....well, when we made our registry we didn't expect people to buy the big things but put them on the registry because a lot of places will give you a discount on anything on your registry that is not bought for your baby shower. I really just wanted the discount, not for someone to buy it for me.

i would have loved newborn to 3 month old sizes. both my babies were full term (one was 2 weeks late) but small (less than 6 pounds each). by the time they were large enough to fit into those larger sized clothes it was the wrong season.

i have a standard gift i give at all baby showers-a cool mist humidifier. it's something a new mom does'nt need until she is REALY in need of it, and 9 times out of 10 it's when the last thing she wants to be doing is running to the store to locate one. a good quality one can be gotten for less than $20 and it's a very much appreciated gift.

 

[nmmom95]

Bri was terribly upset she is having a boy, but that is what she is having.

As the mother of two amazing boys, I just wanted to say that attitude really annoys me. I have a cousin like that. Boys are great!

Okay, rant over...

To finally answer your question, I would go with the gift card.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I would just buy want I wanted.

 

[HelenePA]

Man I wish mine were in 0-3 for longer than a week! Even 3-6! You spend so much money on those tiny little cute clothes and mine didn't even wear half of em! Right now my 19m old is in 3t's and some old navy 4t's. If you really want to get that book and dont want to drive order it off amazon along with some diapers and be done. Sounds like this girl is going to see someone to be practial about what this baby NEEDS not her WANTS.

 

[Rora]

I would get a gift card for where she is registered. This way whatever she doesn't get from the registry she can use the gift card towards one of the items.

I agree! This seems like the best option, OP!