Ok - I'm cheesed off and just need to share!

[lisaschu]

Alright. I'll preface this by saying I am 5 months pregnant and feeling extremely hormonal these days. It doesn't take much to make me cry!

Background: last October I was supposed to take a trip to WDW with my parents and my sister's family. At the last minute they screwed my husband and I by changing the week we were going - after me and dh had bought our non-refundable plane tickets!! Which they knew we'd already purchased. I was extremely hurt and angry and refused to change weeks so we just cancelled WDW and went to Mexico with my husband's brother's family instead. It's a long, ugly, sordid tale and I'd rather not get into it.

Well, this morning I was talking to my mom and she tells me she and dad decided to plan a last minute trip to WDW in November and asked my sister's family to go along. Never even considered asking me. I am furious!! I am not a Disney nut (just like to go everyone once and a while) so that's not what angered me. What angered me is how I am being treated. My sister has two children and another one on the way. I have three step children with my first on the way. I do not consider my kids "step" kids....they are my kids! Anyway, my sister is treated differently because her kids are "blood" whereas my kids aren't "blood." I know my parents don't consciously do it, but it drives me nuts!!

Now, logically, I probably wouldn't have been able to go. I have a small amount of vacation and I'll be nearly 8 months pregnant. However, I did say something to my mom and she just sorta tried to cover her tracks. Aargh!! I asked her why she won't plan a family vacation with my family and she said they'd plan one next year when the baby's here. HELLO! I have three other kids. I don't get it.

My husband and I are hoping to get away for our Anniversary weekend in September and I've got half a mind to take off to Disney. Too bad we can't afford it.

*sigh* Thanks for letting me vent. Sorry it got so long.

Lisa

 

[nativetxn]

{{{HUGS}}} sweetie. I think it's terrific that you love your kids so much. It's your mother's loss, too bad she's so insensitive, she is missing out on a lot of love.

 

[bfeller]

I know how you are hurting. Our situation is a little different. MIL only considers the children of her daughters as grandchildren and treats the son's(my DH) as just another kid. Many feelings have been hurt over the years by her. There are 5 sisters and 3 brothers. My MIL has sleepovers at her house and never invited the four grandchildren by her son's.

 

[JerseyJanice]

{{{hugs}}}

I don't know what to say, dear. Maybe your folks don't realize how much you love ALL your children.

 

[jfulcer]

My wife sees this in our family sometimes - thinking the mom is playing favorites.

Say something to her about it. It's the only way to get the problem resolved. Maybe if she knew your take on it, she's see the lopsidedness...

Now, in her defense, I cannot IMAGINE wanting to take my wife 8 months pregnant to WDW. The doctor would absolutely have a cow. Your mom may have thought it was too dangerous to take you on a trip like that so close to your due date. You wouldn't be able to fly, that's for certain.

Good luck!

 

[Jennyfyar]

I am sorry your mom doesn't treat all her grandchildren the same. We run into that on my DH's side. I have finally chalked it up to their loss and we now rarely include them or attend their functions. (It took six years!)
I hope you can get the answers from your mom you are looking for.
{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}

 

[JasonLyons]

I love cheese

 

[CathyCanada]

Lisa, I think it is wonderful that you are "Mom" to your "kids" and just sorry that your family doesn't see it that way. But as others have said, it is their loss. Plan your family vacations with just your family and have a wonderful time.

Wishing you and your little one all the best!
Cathy

 

[Dan Murphy]

Just stopping to give you a {hug}, Lisa. Sad it is, but you have the right attitude for sure.

 

[KimRaye]

Are you sure you want to vacation with your folks? Especially after the baby's born and, they might continue this behavior towards your '1st' but, not your 'steps'? I hope your 'kids' aren't aware of this treatment yet but, if they do notice, that would be very hurtful.

I must admit that even my own Mom has done this to SIL's DD by a previous marriage. Mom just doesn't have it in her to 'love' this girl, in her words, kinda. (She doesn't like SIL OR the DD so, at least she's fair about that)

My inlaws are quite the contrary. When I married DH, I had DS by previous marriage and, NEVER ONCE has DS been treated ANY differently from the other grandkids ('steps' included). Even when DH & I had DD, still no change in my in-laws! They treat everyone the same and, it's wonderful. Many a person could learn from them.

Hope your parents change their attitude. Your's is fine!

 

[cotye]

Just wanted to offer my support... Feel free to vent anytime..

 

[Pooh93]

{{hugs}} I wanted to say, I'm sorry you are upset. Congrats to you, dh and the rest of the siblings on the soon to be addition! This baby will be surrounded by alot of love!!

 

[robinb]

Lisa:

I think it just didn't occur to your parents that you might want to go to WDW when you were 8 months PG, so you (and your family) were not invited. Could this be the case? How far along is your sister? Many women go to WDW before the 8th month, but afterwards many doctors put the brakes on travelling ... even for women who travel for business. Maybe your parents do play favorites or maybe this was just an unintentional slight. They did say they would vacation with your family next year, after all.

Personally, I would try (yeah, I know) to get over your hurt feelings. You do not want to jeapoardize your relationship with the grandparents of the baby you are carrying. It may not be fair that they do not feel the same towards your (step)kids than your biological one(s), but they are only human.

 

[lisaschu]

Thanks for the kind words everyone. I took me a couple days to calm down about the whole thing, and I'm still irritated as all get out, but I'm moving on. Yes, I know I couldn't have gone to WDW at 8 months pregnant, but my parents could have moved up the trip to October or pushed it back a few months. Basically, I know I was not a part of their thought process. Their goal was to take my sister's kids to Disney again and I didn't factor into the equation. I think they justified their decision by saying they knew I had little vacation time and that I'd be too far along in my pregnancy. Whatever. You'd think after all these years I'd be used to the behavior, but it's tough. Thankfully my kids don't see the disparity and I pray my parents don't become obvious in the disparity between my "first" child and my other children. Thanks again everyone.

Lisa