OK high Stress Day TWO!!!!

[zurgswife]

OK....I made it through Tuesdays stress day without cheating...Wednesday went somewhat uneventful...except I was exhausted from Stress....Thursday arrives......

Today the relative has panic attacks.....and I'm on duty for most of the day....DH relieves me in the afternoon....(I've got a haircoloring appt....and I need to destress...I can not miss this appointment)

To top it off....I get into a heated discussion with DS's teacher...He has sever Dyslexia...and IEP and we meet about his own going needs all the time....The teacher has been less then cooperative in my opinion all year....Making conseceion that were agreed upon with regards to how much homework, etc.

Well I need to ask him to pick up his sister from the babysitters on the way home( my kids walk and my DD has 1/2 day kindergarten). Any how he turns to me in a panic and says he teacher is going to keep him in for recess because he hasn't memorized it....It was given Monday...he had too much homework on monday to spend a long time on it so we said we would get to it later in the week...I look at the teacher and say we haven't had time to memorize this yet...She says well I assigned it Monday...I say well we have had had a chance to memorize it yet we have had a awful week. she sort of rolls her eyes, snorts and turns away from me...I'm furious....walk up behind her and spill my guts as to what I have been through earlier in the week....She says I'm having a rough week to ...everybody has rough weeks....What do you want me to do just not let him do it....WELL YES....It crossed my mind.....I storm out and go straight to the principal....

Thanks for letting me vent....Other then losing my appetite and not eating lunch and eating 2 carbolite bars....I've not cheated.....

 

[tlgoblue]

OMG!
I am so sorry! What a horrible day!
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

....Other then losing my appetite and not eating lunch and eating 2 carbolite bars....I've not cheated.....

Good for you! Take any little success and dwell on it deeply. Come back and vent any time!

Keep the Faith!
Tracy

 

[nativetxn]

{{{HUGS}}} Kimball. I'm so sorry that you are having to go through this now. I think it's terrible for anyone to have to through this ever.

You know what? My son (who is grown and gone now) was overweight. He had a few teachers throughout school who were prejudiced against over weight people. This was a really wonderful situation, when it happened, because my husband and I were overweight too. Very unpleasant.

The few times we ran into this problem what we did was to type up a letter and mail it registered or certified mail to the principle. The letter was always quite short and fairly formal and usually said something like:

Dear Dr. Tweety:

We would like to schedule a conference with you and Mr./Ms So and So at a mutually convenient time.

We look forward to hearing from you at your earliest convenience.

Sincerely

Now, the point of this is that it gives absolutely no warning or idea to the principle about what the problem is, only that there is a problem. It also had a certain urgency about it because it was delivered by registered or certified mail. Plus by the time the letter was delivered to the principle and he had called me, the teacher had totally forgotten exactly what mean thing he/she had done that we might be upset about because this teacher was mean to my son on a daily basis.

The principle always called me the day he received one of these letters and made an appointment immediately. He would always ask me what was wrong and I would always tell him that it would just be better to wait and discuss it in person.

The point of this long story is that my son had teachers who were prejudiced about his obesity. It sounds like your son has a teacher who is <i>prejudiced against children with learning disabilities</i>. This is unacceptable in a classroom.

Having the teacher <b>and</b> the principle in the meeting with you cuts out a lot of time wasting steps. You avoid the old, "Let me check with Mr. soandso about this and get back to you." No messages to be relayed, less chance of miscommunication.

When you have this meeting do not be accusatory or angry in any way. Be very calm and as matter of fact as you can be. Just say calmly to the teacher, in front of the principle something like, "Mr. soandso, I was very hurt and confused by your behavior on Tuesday when I as trying to discuss the circumstances underlying the fact that little Ichabod was not prepared for class. When you rolled your eyes, made a rude sound, turned your back on me and walked away in the middle of our conversation, I felt as though you had no respect for me. My son is very important to me and as his teacher you are very important also. It worries me to think that if you have no respect for me that you have no respect for my son, either. Then stop talking. You won't have much choice but to stop, trust me. The teacher is going to jump in with both feet and they will both be in her mouth.

The problem will be taken care of. Don't get visibly upset or try to tell the teacher off and try to prove her wrong. Trust me, the quiet approach is best. The principle will love you for doing this. Let <b>him/her</b> deal with any lectures or whatever is needed. It's the principle's job to do that, let him/her do their job.

Now, the reason I know all about this kind of stuff is because my husband is an education attorney. He works on behalf of school boards and he knows how to deal with situations like this. He is very good at his job.

Once the teacher leaves the meeting you will have another few minutes with the principle. This is the time for you to tell him how you really feel. Don't do it before the meeting, do it after the meeting. It is very effective. Doing it this way allows the principle and teacher to save face and yet it will help you to get something done.

I have a great respect for <b>most</b> teachers and principles. Unfortunately, teachers are human beings too and they have biases too. I didn't tell you all of this so that you could get a teacher in trouble but to help you find a solution. The teacher may be unaware of her bias against learning disabled students. This will help her become aware and to work at controlling that tendency. I truly believe that all teachers want to do the best job they can and help all of their students.

Try this method if something like this happens again, okay? I think it's a good method. It gives you a little time to calm down so that you appear to be the intelligent and caring person that you are instead of an "hysterical overprotective parent." Honest, it worked for me.

<b>NOW</b> For any and all of our WISHers who are teachers. I admire the work you do in the classroom and I respect you for doing it so well. What I just said to Kim was not intended to insult any teacher. It truly was not.

<i><b>Hey Kels!</i></b> How's that purple heart clipart coming? Looks like Kim needs a second one

I am so proud of you for not going off plan, Kimball. I think you should make yourself eat some protein, now, though.

More {{{HUGS}}} for you.

Katholyn

 

[zurgswife]

Thanks for the Support....

Kath...we have had meetings with the principle regarding my son and this teacher with her and without her.....She usually says that she didn't say that.....

But today...she did email me an apology....saying that she was going through a rough time.....which I am empathatic to....but if she had just given me the reaction that expected it would be fine. In our small Church school...when a parent says the child was unable to complete something then it is supposed to be excepted as the reason and rescheduled.....I know this isn't what most people are used to but all of the kids, teachers, parents, Principal (Minister) belong to our religion and that is how we run our school...The parents have a lot of control.

 

[nativetxn]

I'm just saying...<i>next time</i>

Sorry this happened to you

 

[geetey]

Wow, Katholyn! What a wonderful post!!

My DD has Language Processing Disorder. So far <knocking on wood> all of her teachers have been more than helpful as we work through the school year, but I am keeping this post, just in case!

I appreciate having a calm, intelligent way of addressing a problem we may encounter. Thanks for such an insightful post!

Originally posted by nativetxn
{{{HUGS}}} Kimball. I'm so sorry that you are having to go through this now. I think it's terrible for anyone to have to through this ever.

You know what? My son (who is grown and gone now) was overweight. He had a few teachers throughout school who were prejudiced against over weight people. This was a really wonderful situation, when it happened, because my husband and I were overweight too. Very unpleasant.

The few times we ran into this problem what we did was to type up a letter and mail it registered or certified mail to the principle. The letter was always quite short and fairly formal and usually said something like:

Dear Dr. Tweety:

We would like to schedule a conference with you and Mr./Ms So and So at a mutually convenient time.

We look forward to hearing from you at your earliest convenience.

Sincerely

Now, the point of this is that it gives absolutely no warning or idea to the principle about what the problem is, only that there is a problem. It also had a certain urgency about it because it was delivered by registered or certified mail. Plus by the time the letter was delivered to the principle and he had called me, the teacher had totally forgotten exactly what mean thing he/she had done that we might be upset about because this teacher was mean to my son on a daily basis.

The principle always called me the day he received one of these letters and made an appointment immediately. He would always ask me what was wrong and I would always tell him that it would just be better to wait and discuss it in person.

The point of this long story is that my son had teachers who were prejudiced about his obesity. It sounds like your son has a teacher who is <i>prejudiced against children with learning disabilities</i>. This is unacceptable in a classroom.

Having the teacher <b>and</b> the principle in the meeting with you cuts out a lot of time wasting steps. You avoid the old, "Let me check with Mr. soandso about this and get back to you." No messages to be relayed, less chance of miscommunication.

When you have this meeting do not be accusatory or angry in any way. Be very calm and as matter of fact as you can be. Just say calmly to the teacher, in front of the principle something like, "Mr. soandso, I was very hurt and confused by your behavior on Tuesday when I as trying to discuss the circumstances underlying the fact that little Ichabod was not prepared for class. When you rolled your eyes, made a rude sound, turned your back on me and walked away in the middle of our conversation, I felt as though you had no respect for me. My son is very important to me and as his teacher you are very important also. It worries me to think that if you have no respect for me that you have no respect for my son, either. Then stop talking. You won't have much choice but to stop, trust me. The teacher is going to jump in with both feet and they will both be in her mouth.

The problem will be taken care of. Don't get visibly upset or try to tell the teacher off and try to prove her wrong. Trust me, the quiet approach is best. The principle will love you for doing this. Let <b>him/her</b> deal with any lectures or whatever is needed. It's the principle's job to do that, let him/her do their job.

Now, the reason I know all about this kind of stuff is because my husband is an education attorney. He works on behalf of school boards and he knows how to deal with situations like this. He is very good at his job.

Once the teacher leaves the meeting you will have another few minutes with the principle. This is the time for you to tell him how you really feel. Don't do it before the meeting, do it after the meeting. It is very effective. Doing it this way allows the principle and teacher to save face and yet it will help you to get something done.

I have a great respect for <b>most</b> teachers and principles. Unfortunately, teachers are human beings too and they have biases too. I didn't tell you all of this so that you could get a teacher in trouble but to help you find a solution. The teacher may be unaware of her bias against learning disabled students. This will help her become aware and to work at controlling that tendency. I truly believe that all teachers want to do the best job they can and help all of their students.

Try this method if something like this happens again, okay? I think it's a good method. It gives you a little time to calm down so that you appear to be the intelligent and caring person that you are instead of an "hysterical overprotective parent." Honest, it worked for me.

<b>NOW</b> For any and all of our WISHers who are teachers. I admire the work you do in the classroom and I respect you for doing it so well. What I just said to Kim was not intended to insult any teacher. It truly was not.

<i><b>Hey Kels!</i></b> How's that purple heart clipart coming? Looks like Kim needs a second one

I am so proud of you for not going off plan, Kimball. I think you should make yourself eat some protein, now, though.

More {{{HUGS}}} for you.

Katholyn